by Rambulator
This story is a very beautiful one, and will only become better with additional work. While the story itself is very nearly perfect, vast improvements can be made in spelling, tone, pacing and presentation.
For example, many words were mis-used ("there belongings" instead of "their belongings", etc.) and entire sentances had to be read very carefully to be properly understood (due to very badly mangled sentance structure).
The way the story was written leads me to believe that English is not the author's first language. If so, then this is certainly a very good attempt at an English-language romance. With some judicious wordsmithing (and perhaps some lengthening and deepening into a novella), this will be a really nice gem that would publish well on paper.
I loved your story! I teared up several times! Just wonderful!
Your story is very touching. It truly was a circle that came full swing around and I loved how you put it all together, even adding an epilogue.
Well done!
I truly enjoyed your story. I think its about time for you to grace us with more of your work. Looking forward to reading them.
You lost me when she mentioned the word abortion to her six year old son. That is way too heavy of a conversation for such a young child.