All Comments on 'Coach Meet the New Girl'

This is amazing! I hope it is just the start.

There will be more. You can check out my other story "sorry we lost coach"

It's a series I'm trying to develope

Way too little information. Not a single original, clever, interesting or entertaining part to it. Dialogue by a 10 year old, cardboard characters acting without rhyme or reason and doing things that seem to indicate that they are dumber than rocks. Just plain awful and not worth the time spent reading it. UGH!

I appreciate the honesty always! I'm fairly new at this and trying to get a feel for the desired overall structure people are looking for. I wasn't sure how much people are looking for regarding details. I do get told a lot to go with more set up and details. I didn't know really if people are looking for a quick "to do" to get something accomplished on there own if you catch my drift. I was afraid originally of sort of droning on about details if people just want to basically get to the point. I hope I can keep getting better and focus on what people are looking for.

Regarding the dialogue I don't know about most people but in my personal experiences I don't spend an inordinate amount of time chit chatting with someone I'm making sexy time with. Let me know what kind of dialogue would be desired.

I would advise you to read the stories under Mature Hall of Fame with regards to dialogue and details (the same goes for any of the other categories you may wish to explore, as well). Of course dialogue comes with or from basic interpersonal experience. You may also wish to enlist the help of one or more of Literotica's volunteer editors.

Nice story! The reason that I say, "Just Short!", is because of the length of the story, and I thought that the coach was a woman! Either way, keep writing and I'll certainly keep reading!