Cocklust Ch. 25

I didn't have much time to think about it though. There was an awful lot of shit for me to tend to. Among other things, I had to make a firm decision on my major, so after meeting with my advisor, I finally pulled the trigger. I switched my major to business administration, which meant I had to re-shuffle the classes I'd be taking in the fall. It also meant I'd need to stay in Dr. Littman's good graces, so I buckled down and tried to get as high on his radar as I could.

I also picked up a bunch of shifts at the restaurant. Of course the busy times were all on nights and weekends, so when I wasn't doing school stuff, I was almost always working. The scheduling could get tricky at times, but I kind of liked it that way. I was hoping to keep this up till Chad's dad was released from the hospital; and I kept asking for updates on when that might be. I wanted to start counting the days till I could see my man again.

Then my old nemesis, Brody Watkins, decided to rear his ugly head. Almost out of the blue, he filed a hazing complaint with the Interfraternity Council. It claimed the Kap Eps had forced him to get naked and jack off in front of "several admitted homosexuals." Then it said we'd kicked him out for complaining.

All the Kap Eps agreed he was acting out of spite. After all, Brody had refused to pay his dues even though we'd given him plenty of chances. It was a clear violation, and we'd kept a long detailed paper trail. So as far as we were concerned, we could prove his expulsion was legit.

On the other hand, the rest of what he'd said was basically true. I didn't appreciate the quip about "admitted homosexuals" but yes, we'd all stripped down and played cum-on-a-cookie-- and there was no denying some of us were gay. We obviously weren't the only fraternity to do that, not by a long shot. But it did meet the official definition of hazing, which was strictly forbidden.

"Aw hell," Luke said when he got the news. "This is the last thing I need."

"What do you think?" I asked. "Are we gonna have to let him back in?"

Marcos scoffed. "Do you seriously want Brody hanging out with us?"

"Well no--"

"It wouldn't solve the problem anyway," Luke said. "The council is gonna have to investigate this. And when they do... we could be in deep shit."

"Wait a minute," I said. "Didn't Brody know about this before he rushed us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well... I'd already heard a bunch of rumors before I ever thought about rushing. So had Chad. I even heard you were having orgies in here. And I've got to admit... that's part of what got me in the door."

"What's your point? Are you saying you want to have an orgy?"

"I'm just saying, if Brody's dad was a Kap Ep, he had to know what to expect."

"Humph," Luke said. "Good luck making that case to the council: 'Mr. Watkins, isn't it true you masturbated in this fraternity yourself? And did you not tell your son about that?'"

"What about fall semester?" I asked. "I mean, by then Brody wasn't a pledge anymore. But he still initiated the other guys-- so if that constitutes hazing, he'd be guilty of it himself."

"Yeah I know," Luke said. "The dude is a fucking hypocrite. That's not exactly a news flash. But they're still going to say we're in violation. And they'll throw the book at us."

The rest of us looked at each other. Clearly none of us wanted to concede, but Brody had backed us into a helluva corner.

"Anyway," Luke finally said, "just let me worry about this. I'm the one who's going to get called on the mat... I mean, if Brody wants to say he's a hazing victim, then by that logic, you are too."

"We don't see it that way," Ryan said.

"Tell that to the council," Luke said. "I just... I dunno, I'll figure something out."

I gritted my teeth. I knew Luke was about to graduate, so he was interviewing for jobs. I appreciated him being so willing to stick his neck out, though part of me didn't want him to. I knew a scandal like this could really fuck up his life.

I really wanted to wring Brody's neck. To me, the Kap Eps were more than just my fraternity brothers. After all, they'd basically introduced me to Chad-- or at least they'd set the stage. Just as importantly, they'd made both of us feel comfortable and accepted at a time when we really needed it. I'd never forgotten how the others had defended me and Chad against Brody's homophobia. Now they seemed to be paying the price.

Our student newspaper ran a story about it the next day. They highlighted the quote about the "admitted homosexuals" which set off quite the controversy. People seemed split on whether Brody was a bigot or a victim or a combination of both. The dean of students jumped on the story, and she made us cancel all social activities till further notice-- which meant no Rush Week, no parties, no nothing. Luke tried to fight it, since by all accounts no one had ever been in danger. But the dean didn't buy it, at least till the investigation was done.

My carefully-constructed schedule now had a giant hole in it; and I found myself missing a lot of the camaraderie I was used to. I tried to make up for it as best I could, but I often ended up lying in bed, feeling that loneliness I'd hoped to avoid. To make matters worse, I couldn't shake the feeling that I too could get in trouble, especially if this hazing story got back to my parents. I was dying to talk to Chad, but our schedules didn't always align, so I had to make do whenever I could get him on the phone.

I felt like I needed a refuge, so I headed for the only safe place I could think of. Wildcat Pride was holding a meeting that Thursday. I'd never gone before, but I'd always wanted to know what they did. I almost got cold feet, since the stakes had gotten so high, and I didn't want anyone to judge me. So I hid the fact that I was a Kap Ep; I just sat in the back and nervously scoped things out.

The meeting was in the student union building, in one of those multipurpose rooms. The group was chaired by a no-nonsense woman named Lakeisha. Her second-in-command was one of my neighbors: apparently his real name was Oliver McCarthy, though everybody called him O'Mac. Then there was a trans woman named Bella, and a gay couple named Garrett and Andre.

They talked about a lot of the same stuff I'd heard about in D.C. They were trying to get the university to publicly support non-discrimination laws, and oppose things like bathroom bills. They were also lobbying for changes to the student health plan. Plus they were planning for the upcoming Day of Silence.

My first thought was that I wished Chad was there, since he would've eaten that up. But that only made me miss him that much more. The group was friendly and all, but the rest of them had clearly known each other for a while, whereas I was the newbie. They almost seemed like a cliquish fraternity in their own right.

I kept noticing O'Mac glancing in my direction. It made me a little uneasy, especially since I'd seen him on Grindr months before; which meant he could just as well have seen me too. The last thing I wanted was for him to get the wrong idea, much less hit on me or something.

As soon as the time the meeting ended, I high-tailed it out of the building. By that point the sun had gone down, and all the sidewalks on campus were quiet. I don't know if it was just my state of mind, but I could clearly hear my footsteps as I walked. Hardly anyone came within fifty feet of me.

Once I got home, I tried calling Chad, but my phone was almost dead, and it had a hard time getting a signal. I put my phone in the charger and texted Chad how badly I wanted to see him. Then I plopped down in bed and stared at the walls.

I reached over to Chad's side of the bed. He'd always slept on the right, and I'd always slept on the left, ever since we'd first hooked up in our old dorm. We'd apparently fallen into that habit without ever talking about it. Even now, after all the time Chad had been away, I'd stayed on my side and made sure to leave him plenty of room. Somehow it felt right, even though I hated seeing my bed half-empty.

I knew I couldn't recreate the feeling of Chad's body beside me. But I could do the next-best thing and at least watch it in action. After all, I thought, that was why we'd made our sex tape to begin with. I reached over and unlocked my iPad, and I navigated to the right screen.

The first thing I saw was a freeze-frame of Chad and me. The sight of him already made me feel better. I wanted to reach right through the screen and touch him. But since I couldn't, I just rubbed my dick through my pants. I laid there for a second as my hormones started to flow. Then I got up, stripped naked, and laid back in bed. Finally I spread my legs, made myself comfortable, and hit play.

The video started with us making out. The sound of Chad's moans sent a jolt through my body. I tried to mirror what he was doing onscreen, so I ran my hands up and down my torso. My dick was already starting to throb.

"I want your cock so bad," Chad was saying, "I mean it...."

Those words were music to my ears. I was tempted to touch myself, but I decided not to. At least not yet. I wanted to savor the moment and enjoy my time with Chad-- even if it was mostly in my head.

I was craving some ass play, so I lubed myself up and started teasing my hole. I imagined Chad was rimming me. I could practically feel his warm breath in my pubes, and I tried to recreate the feeling of his tongue against my pucker.

I kept going like that for a minute, then decided to take it to the next level. My hole was itching to get something inside it, but I forced myself to pull my hand away.

I fast-forwarded the video to where we were in the shower. I kept my eyes peeled on the screen while Chad kissed my body. "You're so fucking hot dude... such a great pair of balls...."

"You want to show me what you can do with them?"

I watched Chad play with my sack. I distinctly remembered how it had felt when he fondled my package. I knew how much he loved my balls, and I knew how good he was at showing it. I massaged my nuts and tried to recreate the sensation.

Onscreen, Chad started sucking my dick. That was something I couldn't quite simulate for myself, but I got as close as I could. I lubed up my cock-- which I didn't usually do for jack-off sessions-- and I started kneading my shaft. It was a little like tickling myself: it was fine and all, but I knew Chad's touch would feel infinitely better.

"Oh baby," I was saying onscreen, "keep working that dick...."

I watched my cock slide in and out of Chad's mouth. Fuck, that man knew how to suck dick! I adjusted my fingers, easing up just slightly so they felt more like his lips. Then I stroked myself faster and faster.

In the video, Chad took his mouth off my cock. Then he paused, and I couldn't help noticing the look in his eyes.

"I want this fucking hole of yours so bad...."

I'd known Chad was going to say that, but even so, his words sent adrenaline through my veins. "It's all yours...."

It had been a real tease to watch Chad get ready to fuck me. But by that point I needed something inside me. I reached for the cabinet where we kept our toys, and I pulled out a dildo. I positioned it over my boyhole just as Chad positioned himself onscreen. Then, when he penetrated me, I also penetrated myself.

I noticed the dildo felt different this time. It still didn't feel as good as his cock, but it did make for a hell of a ride. I wasn't sure if this was just because of the sex tape, or if it had more to do with my yearning for Chad. Either way, all my senses seemed heightened.

I slid the dildo in and out of my hole, while I watched Chad pound me onscreen. Fuck, I needed that. I loved that feeling of being stuffed. I relished the sounds of Chad's grunts, along with the slap-slap-slap of our wet bodies banging together.

I pulled the dildo all the way out, then rammed it back in. It felt like it split me open, which was basically how I wanted it. I was desperate for Chad to ravage me. I kept my ass open wide, with my legs in the air, as if I was his little slut.

I kept fucking myself while we switched positions onscreen. I was oozing pre-cum, but I made sure not to touch my cock right then. I wanted this experience to last as long as it could, and I loved watching Chad take me from all those different directions.

Then, at long last, it was time for the grand finale. I watched Chad lean into my ear from behind, and he whispered: "I want you to jerk yourself off."

"Oh yeah," I said involuntarily, as if he could hear me.

"I want to watch you cum hard," he said. "And I want to feel your orgasm inside and out."

I didn't need to be told twice. I angled the dildo so it would hit my prostate. Then I gripped my cock with my free hand, and I started going to town.

It felt so good to be fucking and flogging myself, both at once, in perfect synchronization. Feelings of pleasure coursed through my body. The dildo brushed against my prostate, and I felt that mind-boggling rush. Then I finally went over the edge.

"Fuck!" I gasped as my hole clamped down on the dildo, and my cum spurted out of my dick. One volley after another splattered on my chest. The dildo made it feel that much better, as I savored that full feeling in my ass.

"Yeah," Chad was saying onscreen, "that's it...."

I kept going for another few seconds, but slowly but surely the feeling died down. I took a deep breath and laid flat against the sheets. Then I reached down and pulled out the dildo.

I suddenly realized this dildo wasn't mine. It was Chad's, the one that had been modeled after me. I'd been fucking myself with a replica of my own cock.

I was a little embarrassed at first, and a little weirded out. I couldn't help thinking I'd defeated my purpose, which was to simulate Chad's dick inside me. But then I told myself our cocks weren't all that different. Besides, masturbation by its nature was all about working your own anatomy.

I had to wonder if this was how Chad had felt when I'd fucked him. I'd always assumed I'd known those sensations, unlike straight sex, where there was no real way to know how the other person felt. I wanted my dick to blow Chad's mind, so if this was how it really felt, then I might be able to take things up a notch. Granted, the dildo wasn't a perfect replica, but still.

One thing was for sure. I still had the dildo of Chad, and I could pleasure myself with it whenever I wanted. I could even spit-roast myself, sucking on one dildo while I fucked myself with the other.

That night set the tone for the next couple of weeks. That video-- paired with our sex toys-- got to be part of my routine. It let me escape from the stress of my classes, not to mention the drama surrounding the Kap Eps. I got to know every frame and every sound; and I got so experienced with those toys that I was a fucking professional. I especially loved when I could Skype Chad while I did it.

I kept asking him when he'd be back, but Chad never gave me a straight answer. I wanted to fully support him, so I told him it was fine. But deep down, I felt my heart sink every time he brushed off my questions. I just tried not to let my disappointment show.

Meanwhile, I was still taking care of Chad's car, so eventually I had to take it in for an oil change. When I did, the mechanic said the brake pads needed replacing, which would cost hundreds of dollars. I tried to call Chad, but his phone went straight to voicemail. I tried texting him too, but the messages didn't go through.

Great, I thought, fucking perfect. I knew how critical the brake pads were, but I couldn't afford a big expense like that, at least not at the moment. I'd just paid my rent the day before, and I wouldn't get paid till that Friday.

Part of me thought this was Chad's responsibility. After all, it was his car not mine, and I'd been doing him a favor by handling this stuff. Plus he could afford these kinds of expenses. On the other hand, Chad had been doing me a favor too, letting me drive his car for free-- and my job was far enough away that it'd be hard to work there without it.

I was sitting at the dealership, trying to figure out what to do, when I heard the door open behind me. I didn't look up at first, but then I heard a familiar voice.

"Hey baby," he said.

I jumped to my feet. "Chad?"

He was standing there with his coat on, and his roller bag at his side. An Uber was driving away behind him.

"W-what the hell? I mean, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Shit! Surprise me? What, a-at an auto shop?"

"I got your voicemail when I landed. I didn't want you to have to pay that bill yourself--"

"Oh my fucking god, you're something else," I said as I grabbed him and started kissing him. "I can't believe you... that's the most unromantic thing I've ever heard... but fuck...."

"They transferred Dad this morning," Chad said the first chance he got. "Pam's taking care of him from here."

"Oh thank God," was all I could muster up while we kept making out. I relished the thought of having my man to myself, with no strings attached, after such a long wait. I wasn't a religious guy, but I felt like my prayers had been answered.

Finally our lips came apart. We looked around, and we realized the whole dealership had gone silent. All the employees were staring at us.

Chad just shrugged. "What's the matter?" he asked. "Haven't you seen a couple kiss before?"

I didn't say a word, but I felt like I didn't need to. I had my man back with me, which was all I cared about. No matter what other shit we had to go through, it seemed like we'd be fine as long as we could lean on each other. For once, I was looking forward to what might happen next.

To be continued....