Cocklust Ch. 33

N&J

I actually felt a pang of nerves. I'd assumed they'd be excited for me, and that they'd encourage me to go for it, but their note sounded pretty downbeat. It was also a little short, as if they were giving me a courtesy response. I had to wonder if Nick and Jay were having marital problems of their own. I hoped they were okay, especially since they'd been through so much, and their online personas had always seemed so upbeat. But at that point I didn't want to pry.

I spent that night tossing and turning. I kept staring at Chad as he slept naked beside me. A couple of times I curled up to him, put my arms around him, and listened to the soft purr of his breathing. Snuggling with him always made me feel safe, at least till Chad rolled over, and I had to find a new position.

At some point I realized Chad had never visited my family. I didn't think he was missing much, at least not in Naperville, since it wasn't exactly a world-class destination. But my parents were pressuring me to come visit, and it was close enough to Chicago that I thought it might be worth the trip.

At first it seemed like the stars might be aligning. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of popping the question there. I figured if I wasn't going to propose in Chad's hometown, I might as well do it in mine. Between the city and the suburbs, I was sure I could find a memorable setting, maybe somewhere by the lake, or at the top of one of the towers. More importantly, I did have a lot of memories there: after all, it was where I'd first explored my sexuality, and where I'd come out to my family, among other things. It seemed like I could bring things full circle by getting engaged there-- assuming it all worked out.

Of course Amy couldn't pass up a chance to be an annoying sister. I hadn't told her what I was doing, since I wanted it to be a surprise, but this might've been a mistake. She'd started dating O'Mac's brother, a guy named Dylan. As soon as Chad and I confirmed we were coming, Amy had the bright idea of bringing him home to Mom and Dad that same weekend.

I thought about changing my plans, but I eventually decided not to. I figured Chad and I could always make time for ourselves, just the two of us. I still wasn't sure exactly how I would do it: I didn't want to do anything kitschy, like a flash mob or whatever, and I definitely didn't want to steal Amy's thunder. I told myself I'd figure out a way, though the more I thought about it, the more I found myself on pins and needles.

There was also the matter of the ring. I didn't know a thing about jewelry, so I had to learn about it online. It was surprisingly hard to find time when Chad wasn't around. I mostly had to do it from my phone, either between classes, or while I was on break at work, or whatever. It definitely pulled me down a rabbit hole, and it forced me to make a lot more decisions than I'd ever expected.

I did notice there weren't a lot of engagement rings for men. Despite all the talk of gay marriage, almost all those rings were made for girls. They looked super feminine, and they showed off some big fancy diamond that I couldn't afford. It took me a really long time to find stuff that seemed to work: it had to be nice but affordable, elegant but masculine, fitting Chad's personality, and so on and so forth.

The size was an issue in its own right. I'd never thought about it before, but now that I was actually shopping around, I realized I needed to figure it out. After all, it would be a helluva buzzkill if Chad couldn't actually wear it. I liked to think that he and I were the same size-- since we did fit into a lot of the same clothes-- but I wasn't sure if that was true for rings. Chad's hands seemed a little beefier than mine, so I was worried about the ring being too tight. On the other hand, I also didn't want it too loose.

While all this was going on, we did get one piece of good news. Chad's parents' divorce saga was almost over, and it wasn't a minute too soon. They'd apparently gotten pressure from the judge, so they'd agreed to set aside money for Chad and Patrick's educations. I wanted to feel relieved, since it meant Chad wouldn't need to drop out of school. But it also drove home the point that marriage was serious stuff, and there was always a chance of things going south, which could have major ramifications on not just us but the people we loved. It made me that much more anxious, to the point that I was starting to get cold feet.

Chad could tell something was off. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I said as I put my arm around him.

"You've been acting kind of weird."

"Weird how?"

"I dunno, just... not quite yourself."

I was dying to tell him the truth. I wanted so badly to tell him how much I loved him, and how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But I knew if I did, it would spoil the actual proposal. Then again, I also didn't want Chad to think I was lying to him-- even though I technically was-- since that could fuck things up even more. "I'm just glad this divorce shit is over," was the only thing I could think to say.

"Yeah, no kidding."

I pulled him in for a kiss, and as I did, I felt more butterflies in my chest. My lips met his, which made me let out a little gasp, and I clutched his body even tighter. Chad seemed to want this just as much as I did; he ran his hands up my back as he made out with me. I pressed my body harder against his, and as I did, I felt his boner press against me.

"Mm," he said almost involuntary.

I looked down at his crotch. "You want me to take care of that?"

"If you want," he said. "You know it's yours for the taking."

"I hope you mean that," I said without thinking. I tried to stop myself mid-sentence, but it was already too late.

"Say what?" Chad asked.

"I-I mean... I do want it. I just...." But then my voice trailed off. I didn't know how to finish my sentence.

"Listen," he said, "if you're still thinking about the divorce--"

"I'm not."

"Then what is it?"

I wanted to tell him how nervous I was, but I couldn't. "I-I didn't mean anything by it."

"Well, like I said, you've been acting weird for weeks now. Like when you get on your phone, and you act all secretive about it--"

"What-- do you want to see my browser history or something?"

"If it's not about my parents, then what the hell is going on?"

I sighed. "It's about Amy," I said, and I told him the most plausible story I could think of. "She's worried about what we'll think about Dylan. She... well, she didn't want me to say anything."

"Seriously? Is that what this is about?"

"I didn't want to make things awkward with O'Mac."

"Yeah, well, I'm not O'Mac."

I was about to ask him what that was supposed to mean, but this time I stopped myself. I didn't want to complicate things any more than I already had. "I-I'm sorry," I said. "I should've told you."

Chad chewed his lip. "Well... I mean, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have assumed you were up to something. I guess... well, I guess it's my family's fault for fucking me up like that. Not that that's an excuse...."

"You've got nothing to apologize for," I said, and I gave him another kiss. Chad responded just the way I'd hoped: he wrapped his arms back around me, and we went back to making out.

I assumed we were going to have make-up sex, but then again, we hadn't had a full-blown fight. We ended up just jacking off to porn. Chad put on one of our favorite videos-- the one with Nate, Vince, Flynn, Logan, and Darren-- and we played with each other's cocks as we watched it.

We took it slow, so we watched the setup and the foreplay and everything. Chad still had the hots for Flynn; I could feel his dick respond whenever the dude was onscreen. Not that I minded, since I got pretty horny for Nate. In that particular scene, the guys were at a nudist resort. It started with them lounging on the deckchairs, casually chatting, all buck naked of course.

I thought back to the first time we'd watched this. I could never forget that fateful first visit to San Diego. At the time, it had seemed like Chad and I had been together for ages, and that we'd come such a long way. But looking back, all that had just been the start of a much longer journey. I had to wonder if I'd someday feel the same way about where we were now. Maybe when we were older, our years of dating might seem like a prologue to the rest of our lives-- or at least I hoped they might.

Onscreen, Nate and Darren had finished chatting and were now making out. Nate's dick was standing at full attention; it clearly couldn't wait to get down to business. I couldn't look away, and I felt my hormones start to surge through my body.

Chad seemed to know just what I wanted, without me needing to tell him. He ran his fingers up and down my shaft, and he gave my cockhead a tickle. Then he started applying more pressure. He went slowly at first, then gradually picked up the pace.

Chad's own dick was throbbing by now. Flynn had joined in the makeout session, so now all three guys were kissing and caressing each other's bodies. Logan and Vince were also enjoying the show; they quietly played with themselves as they watched.

I wrapped my hand around Chad's cock. I made sure to rotate my palm as I stroked him, to give him maximum pleasure. Chad reacted just the way I wanted: his lips fluttered as he let out a deep breath.

I couldn't help thinking of the ads we'd seen before, which had advertised a club's jack-off party. As much as I loved group sex, I dug our own jack-off party even more. After all, I was stroking with the sexiest man I knew, with no judgment and no awkwardness, while our favorite porn stars put on a show. To me, this was hotter than anything we could've done at a club.

By now Logan and Vince were full-on pounding their puds. Darren reached down to Nate's package and started jerking him off. Flynn stood up and offered his dick to Nate, who obviously couldn't resist; Nate took it in his mouth and started sucking away.

Chad and I were basically gooning. We let our horniness wash over us, and we savored every second of it. We had to signal when we got close to the edge, to make sure we wouldn't go over it. Whenever that happened, we took our hands off each other's cocks, and we took a little break and just watched.

By our second or third break, Darren had started blowing Nate, who in turn was still blowing Flynn. Logan and Vince were also playing with each other; they started making out while they tugged at each other's dicks. Finally Logan got on his knees and sucked Vince's cock.

I put my arm around Chad and pulled him tight. I had to wonder if this might be our last time fooling around as mere boyfriends. I ran my hand across his cheek, pulled his face closer to mine, and gave him a slow and sensual kiss.

"Mm," Chad said. "Someone's being awfully affectionate."

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked between kisses. "I love you."

"I love you too...." Then he locked our lips together, and he wrapped his body around mine. We laid down on the bed, side by side, and our dicks jousted against each other. Both of us were leaking pre-cum, which smeared all over our pubes and our thighs.

We kept making out for a little while longer, but then Chad started kissing my jawline, then my Adam's apple. Finally he made his way down my neck, nibbling my skin as he went.

I let out a deep breath and leaned back against the bed. The guys onscreen were still blowing each other: their bodies were writhing back and forth, and their moans were blending together. Part of me wanted to follow their lead-- I wanted to suck Chad's dick, and I wanted him to suck mine-- but I knew it would get us off too fast.

Chad played with my chest hair a little, then ran his tongue around my right nipple. He suddenly clamped down his lips, which sent a ripple of pleasure through my body. He used his mouth to massage me, while he used his free hand to play with my other pec. After a minute or so, he switched sides: he sucked my left nipple while he fingered the right.

I ran my hands up and down Chad's back. I wanted to play with his body too, and my raging boner was begging for attention. But in that position, the main thing I could do was trace his muscles and tendons, which turned me on in its own right.

Eventually I brought Chad's other hand to my mouth, and I started sucking his fingers. I gave his ring finger particular attention. With any luck, I thought, it might be my last chance to play with it in its bare virgin state. I took that finger as deep in my mouth as it would go, till it was almost tickling my throat, and I locked my lips around its base. Then I went to town on it, circling my tongue around it, sucking as if I was giving him a blowjob. In the back of mind, I was still trying to gauge if I'd picked the right ring size, but I tried not to let it show.

Chad responded the same way he always did: he groaned with pleasure, though he couldn't say anything with his mouth still full of my flesh. Finally he stopped working on my pecs, and he brought his face back up to mine. "Fuck yeah," he said as he kissed me again.

We exchanged a few more kisses, after which Chad laid down behind me, and he wrapped his arm around my chest. He knew how much I loved cuddling with him. The two of us spooned for a while, with both of us savoring the feeling of Chad's skin against mine.

Meanwhile, the guys onscreen were getting ready to fuck. Logan sat back in his chair, while Flynn climbed on top of him. Logan gave Flynn a little tease, smacking his dick against Flynn's ass. Flynn seemed more than ready for action; he took Logan's dick in his hands, and he guided its cockhead to his boyhole. Then, slowly but surely, Flynn lowered his body and took Logan deep inside him. Finally he started gyrating his ass while Logan pumped away.

I couldn't help thinking of our own encounter with Flynn. The image onscreen looked a lot like what we'd seen in person, with Flynn expertly riding a guy. I hadn't forgotten how Flynn had wanted to ride Chad, yet Chad had turned him down and had fucked me instead. I still couldn't believe Chad had done that; I knew how much he loved jacking off to Flynn's videos, both before and after our encounter. Even now, Chad couldn't seem to take his eyes off the guy, and his eager boner kept pressing against my back.

I kept trying to figure out what this all meant. Did Chad really think I was hotter than a porn star? Then again, I knew Chad liked watching and being watched, and he'd made a point of letting Flynn see him cum... was that the bigger issue? I didn't want to crimp Chad's style, since it was part of what was so sexy about him, but still... did I need to worry about his wandering eyes?

Flynn was bouncing up and down on Logan's lap. He was clearly enjoying himself: his whole body was heaving back and forth, and groans of pleasure were echoing from deep inside him.

Vince had an eager look on his face. He was obviously itching for action of his own. He got down on all fours, and he offered his hole to the others. Nate and Darren both jumped at the chance to fuck him, but Nate got there first.

"Step aside," Nate said. "This ass is mine."

"C'mere," Vince said to Darren. "You can have me too." He guided Darren to the other end of his body, then licked his lips at the sight of Darren's cock. Then Vince went down on the guy, just as Nate was piercing Vince's hole.

Chad reached down to my shaft, and he gave it a soft stroke. My nerves tingled at his touch, and I think he could tell. He ran his fingers around my balls, then traced the folds of my ballsack. He seemed to track my every move, making sure I was into it, adjusting himself along the way to give me maximum pleasure.

I wanted to return the favor, so I reached behind my back, and I stroked his penis too. Chad was still oozing pre-cum, so I made a point of smearing it over his cockhead. He threw his head back and let his mouth hang open, though he never stopped pleasuring my package.

We went on like that for a while, playing with each other while we watched the guys fuck in various combinations. I kept thinking I wanted to keep doing this indefinitely: it was one of many things I wanted to keep doing with Chad. I thought of all the years we had ahead of us-- or at least I hoped we did-- and I tried to guess what those years would have in store. I hoped they'd be full of new experiences, along with plenty of masturbation, lots of blowjobs and rimjobs, Chad plowing my boyhole and letting me plow his, all till death do us part.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Chad suddenly asked.

"Say what?"

"I dunno, you just... you still seem really skittish."

I tried to act casual, but the truth was that I was quivering with anxiety. I liked to think that Chad wanted me as badly as I wanted him, but there was no way to be sure. "I'm fine," I said, and I tried to make it sound like I meant it.

"Well... if you're not, I want you to tell me. Don't be sugarcoating shit. I dealt with enough of that growing up."

Those words almost made me melt. I loved how Chad kept showing how much he cared about me. I hoped this was a good sign, but I knew I couldn't take anything for granted.

By now, the guys onscreen were starting to cum. Nate went first; his cock convulsed in his hands, and his jizz flew over his shoulders. Then Flynn positioned himself on top of Nate, and he busted his nut in Nate's face. Vince was up next, following right behind Flynn and giving Nate another facial.

"Mm," I said to Chad. "I want you to do that to me."

"Oh fuck yeah," he said. By now a thin strand of pre-cum was hanging off his cock; I made sure to snag it for myself, and I gobbled it up.

I laid my head down and marveled at the cock and balls above me. I knew them so well, right down to every vein, every pore, every hair, you name it. They were still as sexy as the first time I'd laid eyes on them.

Chad started beating his meat, and his ballsack bounced back and forth. This was the porn I really wanted. I wasn't even paying attention to the video, where Darren was fucking Logan. All I wanted to see was my man getting off.

I could tell Chad's breaths were getting deeper and deeper. The anticipation was driving me crazy, and my own dick kept throbbing harder and harder.

Finally Chad's balls contracted, and his whole body shuddered. Then, a second later, his nectar burst out of his cock. I opened my mouth and closed my eyes, as I felt more warm juices splash on me. I lost track of how many ropes of cum hit my face; one of them hit my tongue, while another one went in my hair, while another one spurted on my nose.

"Mm," was all I could say.

"Oh shit," Chad said as his dick finished shooting, and he slowed down his strokes. "Oh fuck yeah...."

I wiped my face with my hand, and I lapped up the excess cum. I let it roll around my tongue for a while, then finally gulped it down.

"Okay," Chad said, "now it's your turn." Then he plopped down on the bed and assumed the position.

I wasn't about to object. Chad's cum had almost sent me over the edge, so I knew it wouldn't take me long to finish. I got up and put my package right in Chad's face, making sure to give him a really nice view, the same way he'd done to me. Then I started wanking away.

Onscreen, Logan had his legs open wide, and Darren was fucking him missionary. I couldn't help thinking how Logan was the first dude I'd ever seen getting fucked. He was also the first one I'd full-on beat off to. It felt like a lot of things were coming around, or at least so I hoped.

Logan let off a primeval grunt, and he busted his nut on his chest. At first his cum was hard to see-- his abs and his pubes just glistened in the light-- but by the time he finished, it was obvious. Darren kept on pounding away, till he suddenly pulled out.