All Comments on 'Coed Harem Ch. 02'

I’m liking this series. Keep up the excellent work.

Yep, he is an asshole for sure. Not a very likeable character so far, you have work to do.

You had a perfect portrayal of a LITERAL Karen in there. Funny as hell. Also the sex is hot. I LOVE IT.

For Penelope, he is right. Jumping into something just after a breakup is bad, but I still hope you will keep them on friendly terms.

I must say that I feel your storytelling refreshing, the guy isn't just jumping from girl to girl. Not thinking, you have a struggle there and I like what you have written so far..

I like the story so far, but it's true that the protagonist isn't very likable and that needs a bit of work. And some hints would be nice about what has happened to him to make him so attractive for women.

Another thing: If a character asks something, don't put in four or five paragraphs with descriptions before the answer or the character asks again. That gives the impression that the other person is just standing there silently for a few minutes looking stupid, probably with saliva dripping out of his mouth. Put the descriptions before the question. Generally: More dialogue would be nice, don't be afraid to let people talk to each other naturally. Often that even makes descriptions unnecessary.

I think the main character is quite likable, but I think the way things are presented make him come off wrong. He might come off better if in the last little section the first thing you had was him feeling this overwhelming irrational guilt and maybe flailing around internally not knowing what to feel about this. Maybe he says something like "It was amazing and I've had a crush on you forever, but I'm all mixed up with the break up, and I just don't know what to think about this." This said whatever problems there might be in the story, it's a matter of fine tuning. In general you're building up interesting characters in a (relatively) believable world.

I think your main character is a jackass. He is like woe is me poor pity my self wallowing in pity after his bitch of a girlfriend dumped him. I wouldn't be scared to take Penelope up on her offer to see how things would develop. For all he knows things would be great.

I've been enjoying this as an actual story! I like that you're building things up and setting a scene. I hope we actually see more of these characters.

(I was kind of surprised to read the comments on this site are genuine comments? I gotta admit, I never really bothered to read any before)

Probably can't stop here as we don't know what's causing this, but, I think you're going to write it so he becomes a "boy toy" like 50% of the stories here. Not good at all.

My vote is to stop the story here......

Liked both. Your definition of long is skewed. I'll read a 11 page piece and chase down part 2 if it satiates my impregnation fantasy. The protagonist is not unlikable if you've ever had a girl like you and not know how to set her down gently. Most comments here are ridiculous. They want an inspired work, exactly as they see fit, tailored to their kink, but that is what you get for partaking in someone else's fantasy. It's not yours. Keep on keepin' on.

Good start But there are alot of women including Cameron still out there. Maybe she see's him with someone else and get's Jealous. She doesn't want him but he has No Right to be Happy. So she gets pregnant and then finds she is just a part of the club.

Some stores might not price match, but all retailers have a returns policy, and three days after purchase is well within the allowable timeframe. Cairynn should simply be able to return the item and then repurchase it for cheaper elsewhere (and this is why most stores have price match policies). Cairynns being Karens, it still wouldn't be enough to satisfy her, but if the protagonist had suggested that, it would show him in a better light as he would be trying to find a solution for her.

I still loved it enough to give it 5 stars though. I know it's been awhile since this was published but I'd still like to see a chapter 3.

I wonder if tge author will ever write aging?

Did the author die? This was a good series.

I don't know about Dying but it was a Great start on a decent series. it would be nice for someone to pick it up from here.