Come As You Are Ch. 10

"Thank you." Colette turned the pint glass on the bar, looking at the foamy surface for a moment. "They were driving to Denver during a snowstorm and got sideswiped by a truck that didn't have its chains on. They both died on impact and my grandmother lost the use of her legs."

As he nodded in sympathy, Colette noticed that Garrett's eyes were a profound shade of green that reminded her of a freshly cut emerald. Just underneath the surface, however, treading water, was a hint of despair. She only recognized it because the same despondency had once hidden beneath her own brown eyes, painted with a razor-thin coat of denial. "Did she also mention that I'm divorced?"

"She did. I don't know the details, she just didn't want me saying the wrong thing at the wrong time."

"Yeah. I originally stayed in Emerald Pines to help my grandmother with physical therapy. But since I didn't have anywhere else to go, I decided to move back full time and become my own boss."

They finished their beers in silence over the next few minutes. His eyes focused on the basketball game while Colette mentally went over the day's receipts in her head. Once his pint glass was empty, he reached for his purple parka hanging on the chair behind him. "I'm gonna head home. You following me out?"

"Yeah." After grabbing her coat Colette stepped away from the bar and followed Garrett to the front door. She winced at the blast of cold air as she and her new employee stepped out into the night air.

"I'm off this way. Night Colette," he said, turning around and waving to her. "See you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Garrett," she answered. "9 AM, tomorrow morning!" Garrett raised a hand in the air in acknowledgment while Colette turned and headed in the opposite direction towards her car.

X X X X X

Light spilled from the kitchen into the foyer of Colette's house. As she hung up her black overcoat a voice called out. "Colette? Is that you?"

"Hey, Grandma!" She stepped towards the kitchen, her body protesting the detour that took her away from the possibility of a comfy bed. "What are you still doing up?"

A warm smile sat on the face of Jaclyn Hansen as she rolled her wheelchair away from the kitchen table. Her curly salt-and-pepper hair was loosely tied back in a ponytail that fell over the dark blue sweater draped across her shoulders. "And miss the chance to ask you about your first day? What kind of grandmother would I be?" The grandparent and grandchild met halfway as Colette bent over to give her a gentle hug. "Your sweater is covered with sugar," the older woman teased. "How did it go?"

"Great," Colette answered after pecking her grandmother on the cheek. "Busy, but no major problems or hiccups."

"Good. And how did you do?"

"A couple of speedbumps, but nothing I couldn't handle." She barely managed to stifle a yawn before asking, "You're still getting a ride to Aspen tomorrow for your doctor's appointment, right?"

Her grandmother nodded. "I'll probably stop for lunch afterward. There's this cute barista behind the corner at the coffee shop who blushes when I flirt with him. Now go upstairs and get some sleep." Her grandmother accepted another kiss on the cheek from her granddaughter before Colette followed her advice.

She stumbled up the back steps and down the hall to her room. Colette barely managed to kick her shoes off before flopping on the bed. Neglecting to even take off her clothes, Colette shifted until her head rested on a pillow. "Today went well," she said, murmuring her nightly mantra as she curled up above the covers, "and tomorrow will go well too."

X X X X X

Colette's fingers tapped a rapid beat against the countertop, but before she could find a rhythm Ryan called out to her, "We're out of crullers."

"Garrett's running to Mile High for cookies," she immediately answered. "Text him and ask him to grab... two boxes of crullers if they have them. And make sure he gets a receipt." Ryan nodded while pulling out his phone.

"Miss?" One of the customers was holding up a hand. "Any luck on finding that raspberry brownie?"

"Oh! Sorry." Colette tried to drown out the multitude of voices mixing in with the general cacophony coming from a large number of customers. "We ran out of those just a minute ago. Ryan! We need raspberry brownies too if Mile High has any!" As the blonde nodded, still texting away, Colette told the customer, "I've got someone running to get more. Can I get you something else if you don't want to wait?"

"Uh... I'll take a piece of fried caramel then."

As Colette went to grab the substitute candy another voice called from the front of the store. "Miss Hansen?" One of her younger employees, a redheaded teenager nicknamed Dee Dee, was pointing towards the bulk candy "Someone lost a scoop in one of the bins, but they don't want to reach in and touch the rest of the candy."

"Be there in one second. Dee Dee, ring them up please." She slid the pink box of fried caramel to the customer, who took it with a wordless nod of thanks. Trying her best to ignore the lead sphere sitting in her stomach, Colette walked across the store. An older gentleman, a local she recognized from around town, was standing in front of a bin full of jelly beans. "Can I help you?" she asked as she approached.

"The scoop slipped from my hand." He held up his liver-spotted fingers, the digits slightly crooked from old age. "I went to grab it but it sunk deeper into the bin. I didn't want to try to dig it out and touch everything."

Colette put on her best smile. "Thanks for being considerate." After snapping on a disposable plastic glove, she stuck her hand in the bin, digging around for a few seconds before carefully freeing the clear plastic scoop from the depths of the bin. "Here you go, sir."

He took the scoop with a nod of thanks and, with motions as precise as he could get them, tried to scoop some of the jelly beans into the clear bag he was holding. His hand trembled, threatening to send the beans he had managed to get onto the scoop back into the bin and possibly onto the floor as well. "Would you like me to get that for you?" she offered.

His shoulders slumped as he smiled sadly at Colette. "Would you mind?" She took the outstretched scoop and the plastic bag from the old man's hands and proceeded to add a heaping amount of jelly beans to the bag. "That's plenty," he said once the bag was about three-quarters full. "Thank you, young lady."

"Hey, Colette!" Colette spun around a little too quickly at the sound of her name. On the edge of the crowd, somehow finding a small area of free space, Garrett was holding two paper bags close to his chest. "Mile High hooked us up. Gave us the late-night discount."

All she could do was nod and point towards the counter. Garrett immediately made his way through the crush of patrons, weaving and side-stepping as he moved. Colette tried to follow him but instead stood in place, watching while Garrett set the bags on top of the glass case and began pulling out various boxes and paper-wrapped baked goods. The relief Colette felt as he handed them to Dee Dee allowed her to push forward. She made her way along the edge of the crowd, coming up beside Garrett. "This should get us through the rush," he told her. "I'll whip up an order once it calms down and walk it over to Mile High for tomorrow."

She responded with a nod. "You OK with working until close? You've been here since 9 AM. That's a 12 hour day."

"It's either this or going feral," he smiled. "This way I'm keeping busy and making some pocket money. Which reminds me, at some point when it calms down we need to talk about what you're paying me."

"When it calms down? Hah!" Colette's words had some bite to them as she motioned to the crowd. "We're even busier tonight than we were last night! I keep hearing the Super Mario Brothers coin noise in my head!" The look on Garrett's face caused her to laugh for a brief moment. "It's Sadie's text tone on my phone. Just, ding, ding, ding, over and over again!"

Garrett crumpled the two bags into compact balls of brown paper. "That's good, right? You're making money hand over fist!"

"I'm... I'm shocked in disbelief. Shocked with disbelief? Stunned with disbelief? Which phrase is the right one?" Her ponytail bounced as she shook her head. "At best I hoped to be busy, not packed!"

"The crowd isn't being obnoxious, no one's come back to complain, and the employees are working like a finely oiled machine! I wished the pool hall had run like this. So," Garrett said eagerly, "what do you need me to do next?"

"Um... check the bathroom, then come back out and see what needs restocking."

Colette took her place back behind the counter as Garrett headed off to possibly play custodian. The brief moment of levity brought about by Garrett's words soon faded as the crush of people continued to fill her store. 8 PM. One hour until closing time. The success of the opening day was replicated tonight. Over the next fifteen minutes, Colette found herself constantly on the move. Her feet hurt and her ears ached, but she did her best to endure the discomfort as she grabbed candy and wrapped boxes for a steady rotation of customers.

She noticed one of the trays was running low. "Garrett," she called over her shoulder, "we need a new tray of marble fudge." Any other trays running low? Not that she could tell at the moment. Plenty of boxes left. Wax paper? Good there. Girl in the red shirt and the guy with her. Browsing for a bit. Nothing to worry about. Some people just want to look. Pink boxes? Still good. Still got enough. I've got enough. I've got enough. Little pink boxes. Little pink boxes for you and me. Heard that song before. In a movie? Maybe. Should watch a movie tonight. What movie? A black and white one. Marx Brothers. Monkey Business. Light, easy viewing. The Marx Brothers were an American family comedy act. They found success in vaudeville, on Broadway, and in movies. Five of the Marx Brothers thirteen feature films were selected by the American Film Institute as among the top 100 comedy films of all time. Monkey Business was 73rd, Horse Feathers was 65th, A Day at the Races was 59th, A Night at the Opera was 12th, and Duck Soup was 5th. I should watch Duck Soup tonight but I'm more in the mood for Monkey Business...

"Colette? You with us?"

She slowly turned her head to the left at the sound of Ryan's voice. Both he and Garrett were looking at her with concern. "You've been zoned out for the past couple of minutes."

"I'm fine. Sorry." At least that's what she tried to say. Instead, her mouth refused to open and her lips failed to help pronounce her words. She tried again, only to see Garrett and Ryan glance at each other for a brief moment. I'm fine. Don't worry. I'm fine. I'm not fine. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Behind the counter. Not moving. Can't move.

"Colette?" Garrett stepped forward. "Hey, you OK?"

Not hyperventilating. Good sign. Not sweating. No elevated heart rate. Not a panic attack. Just nerves. OK. Need to get away from the storefront. Back area or office. Tell them. Tell Ryan. Tell Garrett. Shit. Can't talk. Why can't I talk?

"Ryan, you're in charge." Garrett gently took her by the forearm. "Hey, Colette? You and I are going to walk out back. Get you some fresh air. Alright?" Colette believed she managed a nod at the suggestion. Once Garrett had helped her step out from behind the counter, she felt a parka being thrown over her shoulders before the pair made their way down a side hallway. They passed the bathroom and stepped outside through the emergency exit. The cold air immediately slapped Colette in the face, causing her to shiver.

The side door led into a small alleyway that sat between Candy by Colette and the adjacent business, a seamstress and sewing shop named You Sew And Sew. The owner is a big Stephen King fan. The name comes from the book Needful Things. Made into a movie in 1993. Ed Harris, Max von Sydow, Bonnie Bedelia. Director's cut is better. Never released on DVD or Blu-Ray though.

"I'm right here Colette," she heard Garrett say amidst her internal ramblings. "When you're ready, tell me what you need to do to help."

Colette focused on each individual word, and then the full set of instructions, before verbalizing what she needed Garrett to do. "My office," she said in a low, quiet voice. "Inner pocket of my coat. Small plastic bag. Two blue pills. Diazepam."

"Got it. I'll be right back." Garrett quickly headed down the alleyway towards the street. As he disappeared around the corner Colette managed to wrap her arms around herself to ward off the cold. In doing so she recognized the heavy coat that sat on her shoulders was Garrett's purple parka. Purple. The color of the Denver Majesties baseball team. Garrett was a baseball fan. Mentioned trying to go to Denver for Opening Day if he was still in town. After the reunion.

She heard rapid footsteps. Turning to look down the alley she saw Garrett coming towards her. In one hand were a paper cup of water and a small Ziploc bag. Folded over his other arm was her black coat. Without a word he opened the Ziploc bag and tapped the pair of blue pills into her outstretched hand. Colette popped them in her mouth and took a long, deep sip of water that drained the entire cup, while he took his parka from her shoulders and opened up her black long coat for her to slide into.

It normally took at least half an hour for the medication to take effect, however, the act of swallowing the pills helped to clear Colette's head. "Text Vienna," she said with relative clarity. "Ask her if she's up for taking me home."

"You sure?" Garrett asked as he fished in his pocket for his phone. "I can take you home."

"No thank you. Vienna's helped me when I got like this before. She knows what to do. Besides, I need you and Ryan to run the place until close. I'm sorry. I mean, I'd like you and Ryan to run the place until close."

"Can do." His fingers tapped against the screen of his smartphone. "She's good," he eventually told Colette. "Give her ten minutes. I'm going to stand here and wait with you until then."

The time passed in silence. Garrett stood by quietly, not saying a word, not inquiring about her or asking how she was doing. Colette appreciated that. It prevented any new information or sensory data from affecting her mind. She kept her eyes closed, trying to focus on just her breathing, not allowing herself to get distracted or focus on anything else, drowning out the general noise of a Tuesday winter's night in Emerald Pines.

The sound of a car pulling into the alleyway eventually caused Colette to open her eyes. The headlights of a dark blue four-door hatchback cut a path down the dim alleyway. "What happened?" asked Vienna as she stepped out from the driver's side. "Another attack?"

Colette nodded. "Nerves, not panic. Can you take me home please?" she quietly requested.

"Of course." Vienna took Colette by the hand. "Did you manage to take your pills?"

Colette pointed towards Garrett. "He got them for me."

"I'll work with Ryan to close the store," he said to Colette, "and we'll work out setting up tomorrow too. Text me so I know everything's OK." Garrett watched as Colette made her way to the passenger side door and got into the hatchback. Her body felt like it was melting into the seat when she sat down.

She kept her eyes closed as Vienna climbed in the driver's side and strapped on her seatbelt before reaching over and fastening Colette's. She carefully backed out of the alleyway onto Pine Street. Even with her eyes closed, Colette sensed the turns that Vienna took making their way out of town through the tourists. Soon the hatchback was heading up the gentle slope of Little Swift Run. If Colette had opened her eyes and looked out the window, she would have seen the lights of Emerald Pines below her as the blacktop took them towards the steeper roads that headed up the ridges surrounding the resort town.

It was a ten-minute drive before Vienna pulled her car into the Hansen's driveway. Colette's family home was an L-shaped split-level design. The longer part of the "L" had been renovated to account for her grandmother's wheelchair. Her bedroom suite sat on the bottom floor at the tip of the "L", with the second floor containing the old bedroom of Colette's parents along with several other unused rooms. The smaller part of the "L" contained the garage as well as Colette's living area.

Vienna followed the driveway around to the back part of the house. A set of steps led up to a small deck that ran along the floor-to-ceiling windows which compromised one wall of Colette's bedroom. The halogen lamps of Sapphire Drop gleamed through the thicket of pine trees that lined the property.

"Would you mind giving Jaclyn a quick peek?" Colette asked as the two women climbed the back stairs. "The lights are off so she should be asleep."

"Should I come back and check in on you too?"

"Yes please." Colette unlocked the sliding glass door and stepped into her bedroom. Vienna was right behind her. Her bedroom was more akin to a one-room apartment, having once been two rooms before the dividing wall between them was knocked out during Colette's childhood. Vienna slipped off her shoes and jacket, leaving them by the door before quietly making her way into the house proper, while Colette sat down on the edge of her queen-sized bed. The only noise she could hear was the faint sounds of nature through the glass windows.

Colette's head buzzed, and her skin felt like a thousand needles were gently pricking it. There was also a physical soreness, a combination of being on her feet for nearly 12 hours and the general weariness brought about by her anxiety attack. A hot shower seemed like a superb good idea.

She quickly undressed, forcing herself to put her clothes in the hamper instead of dropping them on the floor. Her bathroom was just outside her bedroom, with a sunken bathtub and a standalone shower stall. She didn't bother with the lights. Steam filled the room as she waited for the shower to heat up to her satisfaction before stepping inside.

A sigh of relief escaped Colette's lips as the water flowed over her body. The feeling of hot water against her skin helped to turn down the volume of the buzzing and the pinpricks. The shower washed away the last vestiges of her attack, leaving behind only the weariness. She put both hands against the wall of the shower. The hot water rolled down her spine, drawing another sigh from the young woman. She sat there for a few minutes as the water slowly rinsed away the soreness.

Focused on trying to relax, Colette failed to hear the shower door open. She jumped a bit when a pair of arms wrapped around her waist. The hot water against her back was replaced by the warm feeling of a naked chest pressing against her. A chin rested softly on her shoulder. Colette hummed with appreciation, molding her body against that of the newcomer.

"Jaclyn's asleep," Vienna said quietly. "She's snoring like a baby. It's almost adorable."

Colette mumbled her thanks as her friend ran her fingers along the back of Colette's scalp before lightly massaging her neck. She hummed with appreciation. "I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe I had..."

Vienna squeezed Colette in a comforting embrace. "Cut off that line of thinking. You had an attack. It happens. How are you doing right now?"

"Better. Still stressed and worried though," she murmured.

"I wish I could tell you that'll pass." Vienna kissed Colette's back, her lips lightly pressing against the tattoo running from Colette's left shoulder to just above the small of her back - the word falling inked in stylized font with growing space between each of the letters. "Whatever set you off tonight, you'll find a way to cope with it. It'll take time."