All Comments on 'Come on over, Mallory'

Great premise.

Wonderful story -- in every way -- until they were in bed together.

Then BOOM! Cock in pussy.

No real foreplay. No 'learning' what a cock and balls felt like. Or reacted to her touch.

No description of her pussy. Shaved? Manicured? Hairy?

No kissing/tonguing her pussy, and how it was different from women having done it before.

What was the rush to orgasms?

All that buildup wiped away in seconds.

Sad.

Four stars for up to the sex.

Unusual and clever way of presenting the protagonists. Not to say not your typical folks. But lots of fun. Thanks.

I wanted more of them building their relationship once they were together. Also, no explanation about how she's not a lesbian anymore. It wasn't even brought up. She just suddenly wanted a man instead of a woman. Or was it just specifically Joe?

Really great build up, but I didn’t get why her preferences suddenly changed from a dyed in the wool lesbian, into a fully blown het woman? That needed way more explanation than you gave it, as did her first (?) time in bed with a guy. In short I enjoyed this story, but you left a few holes in places I’d have expected to be filled in more, I’m not sure if that was by design though and intended to replicate the way most of us stumble through life doing our best every day unknowing of a lot of what goes on around us. Cheers, Ppfzz. 5⭐️

Interesting story!

5

I don’t quite understand commenters. It is why I turn comments off on my stories. This story was a good, fun read. I quite liked the characters, and the author played the dialogue/banter between them quite cleverly. Our protagonists played two personas each, dating app mode and WhatsApp, which made it fun and outside of the vanilla Lit norms. The chemistry between characters felt real, built on over 10 years and their transformations didn’t happen overnight. Thank you for your efforts and in sharing. 5*

Exceptionally well done. Great dialogue, interesting people, a well-developed story. Other than the author's somewhat obsessive feelings about hair clips, I have no critique. Well worth the 5* I gave.

Enjoyed it. Still up in the air with the rushed ending. 4.3*

Great premise. Great progression. Loved it

I really like your writing, and judging it as a love story I gave it the appropriate 5 stars. After all it's just a story, made to make us feel good and it accomplished that easily. Well done

Enjoyable story ... with enough hesitation to make the shift from friend to lover semi-plausible.

The only clinker for me was the sudden shift of perspective for the epilogue. Why? Why not stay with Joe being able to say "I..."??