All Comments on 'Comeuppance: Epilogue'

Bravo, excellent ending to a sophisticated and complex tale.

Yet another amazing tale. Thank you for sharing it with us. I look forward to seeing your name in the New Stories list. It is always a pleasure.

I want a confrontation and a talk with the sister and wife

I guess it is just another day at the house reading another AWESOME tale written by you. I don’t know how you do it mixing just enough of everything to blend some the tall tales into a product that makes consuming fun and intriguing.

This one is just another of yours that I had to give an Outstanding Read ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating. This whole series was good to read and picture the images you created with your writing.

Thanks.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

I just knew that they are not dead. However, I would have preferred a personal meeting between Jack and his wife and his sister. But I also understand their pschological problems.

Excellent, but I’m hoping for some type of continuation of the story. 5*

I nailed this one.... Good read.

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6⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Hooyah, Salutes....

Nicely done with the ending "not an ending " . I enjoyed the story and look forward to reading more of your stories. 5*****

Thank you I hated the way you ended the last episode I just hope there is at least ONE or TWO more OMG I must really be a full om romantic (jaybee186)

Loved the story, but not too keen on the ending. That said, please keep writing…you are one of my favorite authors…as a “brush country” resident and long term Texician I like stories with places that I have lived and worked in as backdrops

Well - what a blah ending. No retribution to the LT, and the skanky wife and sister. 1* - this chapter was like you were reading a completely different story. So disappointed.

This epilogue didn't do ot for me, sorry. Long winded preamble for a set up thT seemed obvious in the previous part. There was no resolution here , disappointing end.

great story enjoyed all the parts can't wait for the follow up with Jack Carl and the Garcia girls as I say I enjoyed it ignore Anonymous comments for me Anonymous comment is cowards comment put a name to it

Obviously, some readers skipped the preface. You told readers straight up the tone of this part and they griped all the same. This included enough to resolve the situation with the wife and sister in one of the few ways it could go. I admit to some bias, but you are the best of those still writing here and I look forward to your next offering if this El Niño year doesn’t roast everyone in Texas first.

Wrong category… besides very boring

How high can the bs be stacked before it tips? This story was a continuing game of oh yeah I can one up that.

Finding out she was sterilized during a DNC is a good explanation for why her and Janice got their revenge and then disappeared to Central America. I don't know that the questions of why they didn't attend Jack's funeral when they thought he had been killed and why they remained in DC after his apparent death were ever really answered. At least not in a way I understood.

Good series! 4.6*

Good but still not happy that he loses his wife and sister again. No one gets a really happy ever after. Jack will always hold April in his heart and his second wife will get tired of that eventually.

What about one little integration epilogue from the POV of the 2 two ladies ? And maybe, at least a due remote online confrontation ? Unless it's already planned for a new-followup tale.

Thank God it's over. What started out with a bang ended with a spurt. It's like the author didn't know when to say when, and his hubris wouldn't let him end this.

I agreed with Omegaman. This ending didn't do it, not even close. I'm worried about you.

Excellent retribution but worse punishment would have been nice. The chemically assisted rapes and conversion to wanton sluts of loving sister and wife cannot be forgiven. Not the women, but the authors of their corruption. Dante reserved the seventh circle of hell for betrayers and that is where everyone responsible should reside. However that is not assured. Torture for the duration of their remaining lifespan would have been a nice start for King and his fellow rapists. And no one should have been allowed to escape. The law enforcement officials and politicians who refused to act should have been punished as well.

And the family looking for revenge for their scumbag relation, no mercy. A very large explosion while all are present is warranted.

I was pretty sure the girls escaped. I figured they got off the plane when it landed. Nice handling of the escape plan.

I don't know what happened as I quit reading in the middle of page 1, wondering what;s going on...

"danbo56: ... ignore Anonymous comments for me Anonymous comment is cowards comment put a name to it"

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Your danbo56 nickname is anonymous as well, so are you talking to yourself ?

danbo56 - what is a Dan Booy 56?? Doubt you'd be calling anyone a coward if they were standing in front of you. You are such a dumb fuck. Comments are for good and bad. If the author didn't want anonymous he could have set it up that way. Grow the fuck up!

So, how does one 'fix' a too long story that's over-heavy on dialog?

Why, with a 5-page Epilogue, of course!

I hate to break this to you, danbo56, but you're still anonymous behind that fake name. Some of us are just a bit more honest about it.

Might I suggest you stop commenting until you're old enough to be on this site and have learned some basic grammar? Your comment, with absolutely zero punctuation, doesn't actually give you much credibility as a commenter...

The wife and sister should've met their fate for leaving Jack the way they did. And Jack should've been the one to do the deed. 1*

Hope other stories along this line appear.

Long and boring

All that, to finally get to the point in the last few paragraphs, which I thought were lame. This amazing wife and sister drags his ass to Managua to talk over a radio or phone, not even face to face. That should have convinced him he was rightand the two were nothing but consenting whores all along. He nurses his wife back to health, goes through hell because of her and his sister and they run off to some sluts retreat, or to start their own ring. Such a good story, to end in a burning pile.

Honestly, I started skimming through the chapters in the last installment of the series. It just became too much. And "... Carl and I are also Irish twins - he was born a month to the day before me. My birthday is April 21..."? Of course he was born on San Jacinto Day!

Still liked the idea of the story, hated the outcome, feet that Stallone and Schwarzenegger are going to sue for plagiarism, and did I say I hated the outcome? It is a hard one for me to pin down, it could land anywhere from a 3☆ and a 5☆. Put that is because I feel strongly about that outcome.

Thank You, excellent series. 5.0

I didn’t care for the ending but it would extremely hard for jack to swallow his pride and take his wife back. I look forward to reading about the continuing saga with the Garcia girls

You created a very complex story and try to unravel everything with a few paragraphs. Your ending did not equal the build up. It feels as though you gave up on the story.

Genuinely didn’t understand any of this. Confusing dialogue, convoluted and non-sensical plot and pretty average grammar.

I loved the story series, but the ending sucked. I was rooting for the girls to kill the two assholes, and return home. Leaving them dead and no bodies found was lame and sad.

Great ending but I'm glad it's finally over with, so thanks, it was a well written journey! 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS! Can't wait to see what you submit next friend!

As soon as I see the dreaded letters "FBI", I move to the next story. Just so you know.

I guess it was about as much as could be expected. The videos showing his wife and sister loving and enjoying their sexual depravity still exists in his mind, and appeared to influence his reluctance to just forgive and forget. The wife deciding to give up on reconciliation, especially after learning that she was now sterile, was as good of an excuse as any for her bugging out.

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That the women who were sexually enslaved have to hide for the rest of their lives implies that they have never escaped their slavery. And if Jack remarries and has children, both his sister and his ex wife will have lives that much more deprived and miserable. And the need for hiding long term seems odd since everyone who wants to hurt them gets identified and killed.

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But I get the need to wrap this up, with a clear path for Jack to find a new love and life with another woman. Of course one day April will reappear, maybe with her own step children from a new marriage of her own. Why not? Jack will be an uncle to Janice's children and they all might want to reconnect when feasible. I leave that story to others, when the mood strikes.

The stuff that was most interesting had surprisingly few words allocated to it. The stuff that wasn't all that important got lots and lots of space. Lots.

Crazy big plot. Not sure what I think of it. Not sure I want to devote any more reading time. Just kind of worn out.

Thanks for the effort and the story. Please keep writing.

No surprise that this 5-star tale was so well crafted !

Your work is always enjoyable, and a trip through interesting lives and situations.

Looking forward to more if them.

Enjoyed this tale.

As far as I'm concerned it's clear that the wife and sister did this willingly. The stuff at the end about astronomy pretty much confirms it. The two woman shared sky high aspirations and had dreams of life at the top and in both situations the sister brought the wife in on the journey.

I just can't get over how coldhearted they were about it. The sister might have had an argument but bringing her best friend who was married to her brother in on it. And just leaving him hanging like they did. No goodbyes or anything. And when they come home he goes all commando thinking he's defending them. The dude accomplished the impossible practically moving heaven and earth to protect them and they just brush him off without a second thought.

I knew a man in his 80s. He was in Vietnam and couldn't have kids because of something that happened while serving. Similar thing happened to my grandfather except he didn't become sterile just had health problems later in life. Both claimed to have been injected with stuff but there's no telling what the hell happened. The man I knew said he didn't mind so much that he didn't have kids but he really wishes he had grandkids and was very attached to a younger employee saying he imagines his grandkid would have been like them. Very sad stuff.

I can see this story decades later. The women have outlived their usefulness and maybe finding work helping run the organization. And that's if they don't just get eliminated to tie up loose ends. The fact that the men in the top .01% of society no longer lusts for them will be their first hit. They might mass some small fortune to live off of but find that their lives are now so very empty. They might be limited by their choice of partners because they can't share their past with those not "in the know" and those that are I can't imagine wanting them after the entirety of the worlds elite has had a go at them. And one day they'll be like that coworker of mine wishing that they had grandkid just so they can talk to them and share life stories with.

But I keep going back to how the wife was just able to bail on her husband the way she did, twice. I'm unattached with just a few family members and a dog. If I were presented with the chance to turn my back on everything without a word to have science fiction adventures on my own ship in outer space even I wouldn't be able to.

I know this was suppose to be the end but I'd really love to see just a little more. The career lifespan for women like this isn't very long. I'd love to see them have their realization that this was all a huge mistake because so far they seem to be enjoying themselves still.

Why would Janice and April come back at all if their endgame was just to steal the Merc the ringleaders steal their money, and big out to a non extradition country for the rest of their lives? So they put Jack,Carl and the others through the ringer for a few months for shits and giggles? Or were they biding their time until their plan could mature? Either way it's too calculated and kinda implies their sexual slavery might not have been as coerced as we had been lead to believe.

Great conclusion to your story!

5

Buzz, I must of wasted a few thousand words detailing the experiences and thoughts of the sister and wife if that’s what you got out of it.

Eviscerating the two men who had been instrumental in their capture and enslavement before having them crash into the ocean was payback. Their lives with April’s husband / Janice’s brother were forever changed for the worse, and April learning she had been sterilized by King ended any chance of the idyllic life they had planned. Her decision was selfless: she set him free to find someone who could bear his children and love him without all the bad memories interfering. Janice wanted a new start and revenge.

Hope that helps, and I wish my writing had been clearer.

First, I really enjoyed this series. It was well written and kept my attention throughout.

Second, I personally enjoy the "cultural information" portions of the stories as they give them a more full bodied feel.

Third, as to the trolls, delete their pitiful comments with a clear conscious.

Great story. Sad at the end but I was spell bound. Thnks.

As always, your stories captivate and cannot be put down until the last page is read. Keep up the good work

5 stars from me. I enjoyed it immensely. I was always hoping for maybe reconciliation but I understand y not sad ending. Keep up the good writing

Honestly, the ending of this story just came out of nowhere with no foreshadowing and frankly made no sense. I feel like you have two big problems as an author. First, you let the story get away from you quite frequently. Dedicating paragraphs to really inconsequential stuff, making things too convoluted to follow and getting side tracked by scenes that ultimately don't matter. The second issue I have, is that you don't seem to be able to write actual human beings. It's like you have the idea of what these characters are thinking and feeling, but you really struggle putting it down on paper. Take that final letter from April to Jack - sure, you might have not wanted to "spoil the epilogue" with it, but one the story was completed, you should have wrote it out - it would have given us a much greater insight into her mindset and pain and feelings than the story delivered, but you didn't do that. I think the reason why is because you probably struggle with coming up with the words and phrases that would deliver the emotions that you're trying to portray.

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I firmly believe that good stories are driven by good characters and good characters need to be able to relate on some level with the audience, they need to exhibit growth in the story, there needs to be change. Something compelling to draw you in. This story is more or less devoid of that. I mean, Jack does undergo some character growth, which is good because he needs it, but you never let it come to fruition. This is like one of the cardinal sins of a writer, just about as bad as leaving unfired "Checkov's guns" laying around. Just let Jack have the culmination of his growth, have them forgive each other, maybe even make love, but yeah, still kill April off. In fact, don't have her escape, have her really, really die. She sacrifices herself for the plot and Janice runs away with Forrest Gumps' buddy. Then write that final letter out, filled with tearful goodbyes and self recriminations and showing how utterly broken April is and how glad she was able to get some small measure of peace with Jack before doing what she needed to do.

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It's like... this is what's rewarding about character growth. You don't write a bajillion words, develop Jack right up until the end, and then have him shoot a blank for the money shot.

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I don't know, I've said my piece, maybe you'll take it on board for future works, but maybe not. I just hate seeing work wasted which is why I'm upset about the lost opportunity with Jack to show his growth in a meaningful way. I guess my last advice would be to read more drama or character driven stories. I like to write action too (not on literotica though, that'd be weird for me) but I really, really try to keep my characters in the forefront and the action as set pieces to punch up the plot line. The best way to get good at that, I've found, is to read, read and then read some more. For instance, I was really shit at dialog for the longest time, so I started reading a lot of 1st person narrative novels that were extremely dialog heavy to give me a feel for it. I would suggest reading some character driven novels in whatever genre you like the best and get a feel for how engaging just the interaction between people can be on it's own and what makes it work.

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Anyway, that's my advice and it's worth exactly what you paid for it.