All Comments on 'Comeuppance Pt. 04'

Another great chapter!

5

Really enjoying the story, looking firward to the final chapter but sad in a way that thete afren't several more to come. Thanks.

Enjoyed this installment. Looking forward to the next part.

Every Batman has an Alfred...

Enjoying the story but Carl seems to have changed his name to Clay?

Looking forward to the conclusion and seeing some bad guys hoisted on their own petard.

"Jack tried to rein them in so they could actually plan instead of brainstorm."

So Jack commits error of the third type. Trying to come up with a plan (or in typical problem solver terms a solution) before the goal is clearly defined. This usually (in the real world) leads to executing a brilliant plan that achives a poor result since it provides a solution to the wrong problem.

This one was a snoozer. Could’ve done without it. And I’m starting to think I need a cast of characters for all the people involved now! Are you changing some names around, or are you losing track of who they are?

Time to end this tale.

Best chapter so far - 5*!

Force reconciliation is nasty work

The final chapter will be out next week, Lord willin and the creeks don't rise.

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Why bother, its obvious you are going to make the man a spinless piece of shit cuck

Just gets better and better.

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5 *****

I can't wait.

Forget the creks , it hasnt rained in south Texas in quite a while. Good story and I am very familiar with San Antonio but know of no county in Texas named Cow couty. Just messing with you, but you have a great story going. Looking forward to the end . Dont forget your readers though

What about a story based on the real meaning of "human trafficking", meaning that's not referred to the forced emigration from Africa to Europe ? The real human trafficking envolving non consenting people (and even and often minors), submitting them to enslavement, sexual abuse, selling them like meat not to speak of the horrendous illegal human organs business. That would be a good "fanta-politic" plot, rich of action, drama and justice of course (at least in a literary work). Keep going. 5* !

I hope April dies.

She's selfish as all hell. Even after all that's happened she's still turning away her husband that WANTS to see her. There's that whole deal where the cheater must show true remorse and empathy for the one they betrayed. She's still thinking only about herself. She's throwing her own pity party while keeping her husband away and not even realizing the absolute hell it must be for him given how she only recently had come back after a year of being a whore.

There's no redeeming her. I'll say it again. They threatened her husbands life if she didn't comply. Her husband was then thought to have died. She doesn't leave or get help. And she doesn't even call home to inquire about her husbands death. She keeps on partying and having sex.

I mean come on, taking up arms against hitmen doesn't mean a damn thing when she was a target in the first place. It's an act that is purely self serving. This goes for the sister as well so I really don't see why he was so quick to get all happy-happy with her.

Think about that for a moment. A squad of hitmen are coming to kill YOU. You're skilled with shooting or at least willing to go down fighting. What is your goal? Prove your love to your husband? Or is it to survive? They could have barricaded themselves in to be safe and not tried to fight back. Was this the option that would have made the husband think they didn't love him? I mean it's the stupid option since they're the targets and their best option would be to fight if they didn't want to die. And so they made the obvious choice and fought back and somehow this means they're getting on his good side and the sister is forgiven.

Both the wife and sister have yet to do a single altruistic act. They've always been self serving. They only stopped being whores when the husband put a very clear and public end to it. They only went home because that's the best option for them personally after they became public news. This entire story has been the husband acting with her best interests even when he thinks he's going to divorce.

Please kill her off. Have her take a bullet for her husband to redeem herself. Have that bittersweet reconciliation as she dies in his arms. Maybe throw in her emailing the press the true story in the epilogue so the nation doesn't look like a helpless cuck.

Cracking story that keeps getting better. One of the best thrillers I've read in a long while. Looking forward to the final episode. Thank you for sharing

I prefer story’s that dont drag on. I’d suggest writing complete story, hold it all, then release on successive days but I’m sure you heard that before.

Just don’t have Jack take her back. Paying for everything, and setting her up with excess cash to start over, but reconciliation would be unrealistic.

⭐⭐⭐

Very good story expertly told so far. One peeve, a minor one, is that we non-American non-military non-cyber nerds need a dictionary to understand the abbreviations, acronyms and weapons details. A glossary or an explanation the first time these are used would be appreciated.

I some what agree with some of the comments about his wife and sister. He seems to be forgiving but I think he still harbors alot of hatred toward them that he is doing his best to hide. I think he will help them and protect them but don't think he should every except them back into his life permanently.

Speaking of new plots, why not a spin-off of "It Ain't Paranoia if", envolving Kaitlyn as the new female heroine ? A secret agent, well trained by his husband, for top secret missions envolving high level responsible roles in business, military, society and politics. Maybe coupled with another female heroine: Ashley. Themes like human trafficking, experimentation of new biotech human hybrids and biological warfare, would be really interesting. It would be a really good movie-novel in many parts. Just an idea.

Dumb

Can't wait to see how this plans out. Five stars

Being ex-military I love these kind of stories. I've scored 4 because it's been slowly dragged out and 5 when he burnt the bitch's. However if this turns out to be a RACC for all the reasons that Wavedave45 laid out it will have been a big waste of time and I will banish Texican1830 from my laptop forever.

Did Carl change his name to Clay or did the writer screw up and miss this during the edit? Otherwise, excellent work!

Repetitive and sophomoric.

Engaging story. Looking forward to the final chapter. With everything you've teed up, I expect it to be fairly long.

Thanks for the time, creativity, and effort.

3 stars - I do not believe it would be in Jack's best interest to ever have a very close relationship with either his sister or almost ex-wife. The trauma they both experienced will NEVER allow them to live anywhere near a normal life. There is no mention of them being tested for HIV (six month process), or Hep C, or the other dozens of STDs, or not including drug addiction and severe mental issues.

Better for him to move on to someone new, without all the baggage those two diseased whores are carrying.

Keep it coming mate (jaybee186)

So who is married to who? It seems like it keeps switching.

Lord willin' and the creeks don't rise. Man, I can hear my grandfather quite clearly here. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for stirring up an old man's memory of a lost and forgotten time.

Okay okay okay, as I usually say- thank you. Just awesome. I so appreciate you sharing your talent with us. Looking forward to the next chapter.

A few observations, why not have a proof reader? It does not make sense to have Carl renamed as Clay in the 4th chapter.

Why release over time? Honestly as much as I read, I have to go back and re-read or skim the previous chapter to know the heck is going on. Finally, unless the exposure is truly malicious/wick/evil, I don't need a Nuke attack on the at fault party, I can understand Jack forgiving but reconcile - yeah Hard stop NO.

What doesn't sound right is the behaviour of the so loved sister of the MC: she managed to force him to let the 2 ladies enter his house against his will (and the MC didn't react at all: WTF ?); the she threaten him to reach to his hidden money (and the MC didn't react at all: WTF ?). After all the MC is doing for the 2 ladies, the little sister is still behaving with evil arrogance, instead to be extremely grateful. Besides the cheating-whoring events, why the so strong MC is behaving so weak without a minimum of a reaction ?

Another thing that doesn't sound right, is the saying that the ladies saved the MC and that they are the super heroes: WTF ? He made his house like a fortress, he organized and coordinated the defensive system, and he helped the ladies to survive. Yes, the ladies helped him, but 99% of the defense was made thanks to the MC, certainly not thanks to the ladies. Too much incoherence with this strong-weak MC, that is weakening the entire plot. Really disappointing.

You had a great story going here until you decided to turn your hero into a pussywhipped cuck. It is becoming very obvious that he is forgiving the two sluts.

April and Janice are still unforgivable.

Not that it hasn’t been already, but this is fixin to get good. Jack and his boys are going to kick some ass now. Bring it on ASAP.

Well, I see RAAC in Jack's future. Yeah, she got hurt defending the homestead. That's noble of her but she spent way more time being a party girl, clean and sober, than she ever did under the drugs. That crap about him going to be killed or hurt shouldn't have flown at all with the wife, but especially the sister who should have known him better. I don't think that I would even eat at the same table with them without a lot of documentation from the CDC or WHO or something. Lot of shit out there that won't wash off with soap and water. And, yes, contrition doesn't necessarily mean you are sorry or that you didn't like it or that you won't do it again. Give the boy some balls and let Sis get run over by a bus or something.

Lol love it. I really do hope you are building up the btb incels for a screaming rant with the final chapter. Loving it so far.

Great story! I'll hate to see it end. I think once the bad guys are liquidated, you could add a whole chapter on what happens between Jack, April and Janice. I don't think most guys and especially one like Jack, could touch April knowing everything she's done. I just hope this isn't a great story that gets ruined, trying to wrap it up too quickly.

Waiting 2+ weeks between chapters make the plot really weak, since readers doesn't want to re-read the previous parts each time. It would have been better to wait 1 month or two and then post the parts at no more than 1 week pace. Also, hope to see a bit more strength in the MC toward the stubborn and selfish "lovely" ladies.

Mr. Author: Sorry the creek rose up so high. Praying you and yours’ good, strong health, & Blessings.

Craig

OK if you want a non erotic story about all this conspiracy shit etc but in chapter one or two he leaves the whore wife period and disowns the sister. Only way it can go and then like I said have your rest of the story happen. To have this end like it appears with forgiveness? Bullshit. She was a whore and loved it.

When did Carl change his name to Clay?

What has happened to the final part of this story?

please finish. you are the best story teller. i am in Tyler, TX

Got bored of all the bullshit halfway through so gave up reading it, what I did read was a load of fucking rubbish

A very good start, average in the middle, but the long time between the parts are making the end really bad. Not to speak about the unusual weak behaviour of the MC towards the "ladies".

when do we get the rest of the story?

I love this story and can this going long form. I'm saying this because Texican spins tales that leave you rooting for the good guy, He also is a very skilled, if not gifted, writer. I compare this story to "If it ain't paranoia". They are both similar stories and well written. I know the authors owe us nothing, so I'm thankful for their efforts.

7 weeks is not the same as 1 week.

I really appreciate your stories but it really sucks having to reread due to how long it takes for the finale chapter.

I have stopped reading chapter stories until they are done.

I liked how April's BMW became a Lexus. But I am really loving this story. Great job.

"Their pictures are all over TV, newspapers, magazines, and the internet." - That's great! To the extent that any remaining bad guys don't know where they are, let's advertise it.

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I figured out that "Segundo" was second-in-command, but if you felt the need to explain that, why did it wait until at least the third time using it?

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Another mark against April, besides refusing to let Jack come to get Janice, was not getting Janice out when they met at the restaurant.

Carl becomes Clay, BMer turns into a Lexi, and brother and sister are cruising around shopping and eating out. So much for security. Keep your facts straight.

I got halfway through the second page lost interest. Not to mention all the dissimilarities. I'm done with it.

Why did you start out with a MC that was badass, yet make him a beta-simp later on?