All Comments on 'Comforting My Big Sis Athena'

Learn to spell using an international dictionary version as this proves the point "favour" the international is "favor".

This is my first erotica story, and I didn't use time to edit - will definitely do next time. Thanks for your support and advice and I'll add in more stuff to it next time! (P.S. English is my first language, I just didn't read it over and my computer has autocorrect, which is terrible)

I think all grammar errors aside its still pretty bad very rushed, no thought process at all

If this is a first story then you need to spend a lot more time on the editing. "I go on hard, in, out, in, out..." - This sentence is a good example, you are describing the motion but there is no emotion or heart in the story.

Have someone else read it before submitting as this should give you a good idea if it is worth submitting or should be considered a first draft.

I hate stories that start out fucking without a lead into why. You need to throw this away, read some on here and start over.

That is not abnormal when making love in a rush.

The only problem is trying to convince people that they are the same. From the way I read the story, no-one could have told ten minutes later who had done what.

So don't get your breath back, just rap.

Writing incestuous stories requires -in my mind- the introduction of love for a family member, as this is what makes incestuous stories possess such erotic appeal. It isn't just another fuck story, it's about making love with a loved one that is taboo. I like your premise and the tale has potential, but writing it should be slow, teasing, erotic, with an undercurrent of affection between the two participants who have -no doubt- loved one another for years. I hope you approach your next effort like you were making love to that favorite relative of yours and slowly arouse all of us together. I am not talking about a 30 page bore-a-thon of sexual contact, but a steady upward spiral of erotic intensity. Thank you for this effort and I look forward to future projects from you.