Coming Home

I got up. It was Tuesday, and I was supposed to go to D.C. with Father Webley. I crawled out of bed, dropped my drawers, found a clean pair and pulled them on. I slid into my jeans, changed into a clean black Tee shirt, went to the bathroom, drained my dragon, brushed my teeth like she told me, gave my hair the once over, and launched myself into the kitchen, "Mm, sure smells good."

Sarah quipped, "Father Webley texted. He'll be here any minute."

I gave Sarah one of my 'serious looks', "Don't know about that. There's a lot to do here."

She put a plate of bacon and fried eggs on my mother's table, "No, you go. I'll take care of things around here."

Looking up, "What have you got to do?"

She looked toward the stairs, "Curtains, throw rugs, our new bed might come today."

She said 'our new bed'. What did she mean by that? I didn't question her; it was too early to start a fight. Hell, I didn't want to fight with her anyway.

We both sat down, side by side. She could've sat across, but she sat beside me. Who knows what women do? I ate my fried eggs and bacon. She ate some scrambled and bacon.

About the time we finished up we heard a car pull up. Sarah said, "That's probably Father Webley." It was.

Father Webley knocked, but didn't bother to wait. He came trudging in, "Ah, the love birds. Bacon and eggs I see."

I grumbled, "It's not what you think."

He said, "I know that. Are you ready? I want to get there before dark."

He had to be kidding; it couldn't be more than four hours, tops! I replied, "We don't have to go if you don't want to."

His response, "No, this can't wait."

I wondered what he meant. I grabbed my jacket and looked back at Sarah. She said, "Don't worry. I'll clean up. You have a good day."

'Good day,' I wondered.

~~V~~

We climbed in the friar's jeep and took off. For most of the drive neither of us said much. I liked that. I remember when I was a little kid, I had a great uncle who liked to hunt rabbits. Sometimes we would sit in the woods almost all day without saying a word. We'd sit and wait for his little rabbit dog, a little critter he'd named Soda to do her thing. We would sit all morning till that dog scared up a rabbit. When Soda ran the rabbit close enough all my great uncle would say is "Your turn" or "my turn". We could sit all day and never utter a word and say more in that silence then a whole gang of men could say in a week. I loved that old man. Like his brother, my grandfather, he was a veteran of World War Two. My grandfather served in Europe, Uncle Mitchell, he served in the Pacific, Tarawa. I didn't know much about it. He never said.

We got to Arlington about mid-day. The friar parked his jeep and we started our tour. It was a real tour too; Father Webley warned me he'd laid out a right thorough trail. He said we'd be a good part of the day. I told him it was Ok with me. I didn't tell him all I wanted to do was get the damn thing over with.

First place we stopped at was the grave of John Kennedy. The friar looked at me and said, "Quite a thing, we can stand here and see the graves of two of the brothers. I hear they're putting a memorial stone up for the oldest brother, and I hear Ted Kennedy plans on being buried here. Four brothers, all of them served."

It didn't mean much to me. I said, "Really."

The friar said, "Yes, the oldest died in World War Two. John was assassinated in Texas, but he'd served in the navy. Robert was shot in California while running for President, and Ted, the youngest has been in the Senate for God knows how long. All four wore the uniform."

I knew something, "I hear all this all used to belong to Robert E. Lee."

The friar looked at me, "Forget him. This is about men who fought FOR their country."

I wasn't about to argue.

He said, "John Kennedy is one of our greatest Presidents. Sure, you'll hear little men say bad things, but it was Kennedy who got us started on our moon adventure. The work that went into that put our country hundreds of years ahead of the rest of the world in science and technology."

I said, "You don't say."

He ignored me and we went on. We stopped at several places. He had a list. Every now and then he'd point to a grave and mention a name, some I knew, most I didn't. It didn't matter, he had a prepared speech for each one. He pointed to a lot of graves. He showed me Audie Murphy, Thurgood Marshall, some old boxer named Joe Louis, an old judge and president name Taft, and a man named Lee Marvin. I knew who Lee Marvin was, because I'd watched an old movie he was in called "The Dirty Dozen". I never knew he was a marine. The friar told me Lee Marvin had been in World War Two and had been wounded on an island called Saipan. I never heard of the island. I wondered if Lee Marvin ever knew my great uncle.

We were at Audie Murphy's grave and the friar asked me, "You ever have nightmares?"

I nodded, "Sometimes."

He pointed to Murphy's grave, "He had em all his life."

I never thought of that.

Once or twice, Father Webley got a little angry. He would mention something and ask me if I ever heard of it, places like Falaise, Salerno, some dam in Korea. Once he said, "Don't they teach you kids anything anymore?"

I pissed him off when I said, "Come on, all this old timey stuff?"

He stopped, looked me in the eye and said, "One day Iraq will be 'old timey stuff'."

I didn't like that. I thought everyone ought to remember Iraq. I didn't tell him though.

I asked him, "You ever serve?"

"Marines," he said. "Never went overseas. We were between wars."

At last, we came back to where the Unknown Soldier is buried. He told me there were several people buried there. I never knew that. Before we got up close, he waved his arm around and said, "400,000. That's how many are buried here. Almost all of them died for us." He looked me square in the eye and said, "That's one hell of a debt, isn't it?"

I said, "I never thought of it that way."

He had tears in his eyes, "It's a big responsibility, especially for you."

I didn't get it. I asked, "What do you mean?"

He said, "Ever watched that old movie 'Saving Private Ryan'."

I nodded.

He said, "What were Tom Hanks last words to Matt Damon?"

I got it. I figured out why we were here. I felt like shit. Is this what it means to be humble?

We walked up to where the soldier was doing guard duty. There were several tourists there. A lot of them were chattering like it was some kind of entertainment. It kind of made me mad. I wanted to yell at them but didn't.

Friar Webley asked me to count how many steps the soldier took as he marched. I did, it was twenty-one. The friar said, "Yes, twenty-one, just like in the twenty-one-gun salute." He added, "Add up the numbers in the year 1776." I did, it was twenty-one again.

I was learning something; this was all sacred ground, but the most sacred place was where we were standing, right at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I had been in middle school and I had to recite a poem. I'd used the 'Rhyme of the Unknown Soldier.' I had not known what it meant then. I knew now. That poem has a line, "There's a graveyard near the White House where the Unknown Soldier lies, and the flowers there are sprinkled with the tears from mothers' eyes". I wondered, 'Would my mom cry if...? Did I want to make my mom cry?'

Neither of us said much after that. We walked back to his jeep, but before we got in I had a question I needed to ask. "Friar, you ever been married?"

He hesitated, then answered, "Yes, once."

I pushed it, "What happened? She die or something?"

He just stood there at the door of his jeep for the longest time, then he answered, "I got married. We had a little girl. Name's Louisa. She got leukemia. It was bad."

I commented, "But you could've saved her. You could've used your bone marrow."

He sort of slumped, "They got a sample, wrong marrow."

Stumped, I asked, "You mean?"

"Louisa wasn't mine. My wife called the real father. He had what Louisa needed. We got divorced. She married the donor, haven't seen any of them since."

I'm stupid, "You never?"

He answered, "Louisa's grown up, been to college, married now, lives in Syracuse. She's called a few times, texted. Sent pictures. I don't answer."

'God,' I thought, 'hell of a story.' I asked, "You mean you've never called back or anything?"

"No." the friar replied, "My 'one-time' wife knew right where the biological father was. She knew right away, once Louisa was diagnosed, she knew exactly where and who to call."

"Yeah, but the little girl. I mean eight years."

The friar looked off toward the horizon, "I know. I miss her terribly, but to see her I'd have to see her mother." He paused, then added, "Maybe someday. I don't know."

I didn't bother him anymore. We got in his jeep and drove home. I thought about everything we had seen as we drove. It occurred to me; I had a job to do. I had a responsibility to my buddies, to those alive and those who are dead. My great uncle Mitchell, Tarawa; what he must have gone through. He was around for me when I needed someone. There's been my dad, Vietnam. Maybe there's someone out there who needs someone like me? That was when I decided I wasn't going to be a God damned statistic.

When we got back and he let me out I looked at him and said, "Thank you Father Webley."

He just looked back and said, "You're welcome."

I thought, 'That was one smart, but unhappy man. Had a tough break.'

~~V~~

Sarah was standing on the porch. I knew there was something I had to say to her. I stood out there and waited. Finally, I got up the courage, "Sarah, come here."

She walked over to where I was. I said, "You know I love you."

She smiled and answered, "I know."

That pissed me off. This was supposed to be a big moment. I added, "Is that all? Don't you have anything else to say?"

She kept smiling, "My mom wants you to pick out a puppy so she can tie a ribbon around its neck. My dad said you didn't have to farm for him if you didn't want to, but he'd like you to keep the tractor."

This was going nowhere. I asked, "What about what I just said?"

She started pulling me toward the house, "The bed your parents bought came today"

My mind was in a blur. I kept reciting in my head, 'Christ Jesus! What the...!' Then it came out, "You don't think we're going to sleep in it do you?"

She grinned, "Yes we will, and tonight, not like that though, not yet."

I thought, 'Oh shit.'

Sarah fixed a great dinner; we had spare ribs, sweet potatoes, grilled carrots and broccoli. For dessert she'd bought a couple pieces of multi-layered vanilla cake with chocolate icing. She got it from the local bakery.

That night we didn't sleep like the way some people might've, but we did cuddle and kiss, just like we'd been doing the past few nights, just like we did when we were in high school. I woke up twice during the night, but I hadn't been thinking about Iraq, or that girl, or Farida. I don't remember what I was thinking. The next morning when I got up, I told Sarah, "Look, I have something I need to do."

She asked, "Yes, what?"

I told her, "I need to go to Laurel today."

She smiled and nodded, "I'll be here when you get back."

She was always smiling. I hesitated, then suggested, "Maybe you'd like to come?" I had a disquieting vision of me passing out somewhere along the way, or worse suffering from some dizzy spell like what happened outside Roosevelt Texas. I realized I didn't want to die, and I sure didn't want to kill anybody else.

Without hesitation Sarah answered, "I'd love to. I could go shopping while you're busy."

I called ahead and found that Lieutenant-Colonel Sheppard would be available after twelve. They scheduled an appointment, and me and Sarah got off a little past 9:00 a.m.

Sarah volunteered to drive her car, a little Prius, and I was agreeable. Before, when I was working and driving alone, I didn't care if I might have a spell or pass out, but if I wrecked the car with Sarah in it, she could get hurt. The drive was uneventful. We talked about the house, my current job, her current position at Walmart, and her plans for February when she started teaching school. All-in-all it was a pleasant experience, though I did add one modest concern.

Just after we crossed over the Bay Bridge I introduced a new topic, "Sarah I haven't told anyone, but I was concussed a couple times while overseas."

I could tell from the tone of her voice she already knew, but she played it cool when she said, "How did they occur?"

I told her, "First in Iraq, we were on patrol south of Baghdad; nothing extraordinary, we did that sort of thing all the time. We were in a Humvee when one of the guys spotted something suspicious. We drove as close as we could without endangering ourselves; that was when we thought we saw someone, a woman, we thought too heavily attired. We suspected a bomb. We had a lieutenant in charge, he stayed back, and sent three of us out. I was in charge. When we got close some asshole pulled out an 'AK' and started firing. All three of us dropped and replied. We got the whole crowd, but one of theirs got off a few rounds and both my men were hit. The woman had not been hit, and it was then she started running toward us. Then I got hit in head. I was real dizzy, but I took her out. Two of our detail who'd stayed back came up to lend assistance to my downed men. I moved forward to check the woman. I lifted the top of her chaddar and saw she wasn't dead, but I knew she didn't have long. I found nothing on her."

I looked over at Sarah, "I believe she was coming toward me for rescue. Sarah, she didn't look like the others; she was pale of complexion and she had green eyes, like yours. I suspect she was a captive, perhaps a Yazidi. I think she was using her eyes and begging for help."

Sarah interrupted, "You didn't know Trav. It wasn't your fault."

"I know," I replied. "Back where my men were lying nothing much was being done. More Iraqis started crowding around, I knew we had to get out of there. I found out the lieutenant had panicked; he hadn't called out for help. Christ Sarah, medical help was only minutes away. One guy had a sucking chest wound. I grabbed my first aid kit and closed up the hole in his lung. I think he lived, but Christ Sarah, both of my men could have been saved!"

"They died?" she asked.

"I don't know, but the loss of blood..."

She shook her head, "I can't believe it."

I said, "Believe it."

"You said there was a second time."

"Yes, I was sent to Germany where they scoped me out to see if I was fit for service. They figured yes, and since I had some language skills, they ordered me to Burkina Faso. It was supposed to be a low-level chore. Some official down there was friendly to us, and presumed to be in danger. Since I spoke French, I was sent to help guard this man's daughter. It all went well until she was scheduled to fly out. She was going back to France where she was a student. Right after she boarded her plane a bomb went off. She got off, but I got hit with something. When I woke up, I was on my way to San Antonio and Fort Sam Houston. That was where they released me. I had mostly finished my time anyway. I came home then, but didn't stay."

That's when you went on your country-wide tour," she murmured.

"Yeah, that's right," I said.

Sarah asked, "The girl in Africa, was she pretty?"

"Yes," I said, "very pretty."

"You liked her, didn't you?"

"Yes, a lot."

"You worry about her, don't you?"

"All the time."

It stayed quiet for several miles before Sarah asked, "Have you ever thought about finding out how she is?"

I couldn't tell her what might have happened so I said, "No, I'm pretty sure she's safe now."

"You still worry though, don't you," she commented.

A yes, was all I could get out.

The rest of the drive was in silence. Once we reached the facility in Laurel, Sarah dropped me off, and went shopping. I went in to see the Lieutenant Colonel. He was busy, I had to wait a few minutes, but eventually a sergeant came out and took me in. After the customary salutations Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard offered me a seat and told me what they had in mind.

"Sergeant Tresh," he began, "you have a distinguished record. We're proud of you. I see, though there's nothing formal, you have some skill with language. We would like to use you."

I replied, "I'm not re-enlisting."

"No," he said, "it wouldn't be necessary, we still have you for another year, so if we want you, and we do, we could. That's not the point. What we'd like is for you to extend your time, but not with the regular army, with us, the Maryland National Guard. We have offices here in Laurel, in Baltimore, and a facility in Salisbury."

I asked, "If I did, what would I be doing?"

He answered, "We have a few things in mind."

I started, but he interrupted, "I'm not through. You have language skills, and we'd like to use them, especially your Spanish, but I see you have a couple languages besides Spanish. We're recruiting in the Hispanic community, and you could be of some service. Our Intelligence operations might have some uses for you too."

I replied, "No offense sir, but I'm not interested in going 'Active' ever again."

"You'd be in the National Guard. If we needed activate you for some state related purpose we could and we would, but going full-fledged active with the Regular Army would be highly unlikely."

I asked, "What about pay?"

He answered, "For a man with your skills there will always be more opportunity in the private sector, but if you were with us, you would be helping in ways you would never have on the outside. You would be serving your country. You would be providing support for men, and women, who might have need of some special skill you could impart. It might never be as financially rewarding, but you would be helping other military personnel, perhaps even saving lives."

I didn't see how my knowledge of Spanish or French would ever help me financially, let alone save any lives, but the idea of doing some good for the men and women who wore the uniform did have an appeal. I couldn't help it; the sea of monuments I saw at Arlington did cross my mind. I thought, 'I doubted if I ever would do anything really important, but if I saved one life, if I did one good thing...'

I answered, "Colonel Sheppard, I'd like to go home and think about it. I'd like to talk it over with a few people."

Recognizing there wasn't any more he could say, he stood up, "Certainly, but I must add, if you agreed to take on this responsibility you would have to complete Officer Training."

I stood up, "Yes sir, and if I agreed, I'd do that."

One more thing he said, "If you choose not to take the offer, we won't pursue it. I'll place you on inactive status and you'll never hear from us again."

I saluted, "Thank you."

As I turned to leave, he asked, "One more thing, how are the headaches?"

I was glad he didn't say concussions, "They come and they go."

He concluded, "You know you have medical care, and it's for you regardless of any decisions you make."

I replied, "Yes sir, and thank you sir."

He turned and appeared to be rummaging through some files as I started to leave, but then he looked up one last time, and said, "There's a line in the second verse of 'America the Beautiful'."

I said, "Yeah?"

He replied, "'Country more than self'."

I stiffened; I wondered how many of our politicians in D.C. knew that, or how many cared.

~~V~~

Sarah wasn't there when I went outside. I had to wait for another half hour before she arrived. It didn't bother me; the Lieutenant-Colonel had given me something to think about.

When Sarah did get back, she was excited; she talked endlessly about the things she had bought. She said she couldn't wait to model some of her new skirts, dresses, and blouses. She told me about the face and skin creams, like she needed anything like that. I kept quiet; I knew my place. I liked listening to her. I liked looking at her pretty face, her short skirt, and how it kept creeping up her thighs. I recall Katy had the first signs of cellulite; there wasn't anything like that on my Sarah's muscular little legs. 'My Sarah', that had a nice ring to it.