All Comments on 'Coming Like a Freight Train'

Confusing story telling, very poorly written

I really especially loved the specificity of this story.

Never commented on a story before but there’s a comment by what looks like a troll that should absolutely be disregarded by the author. Story telling very clear. (Two people fucking in a lumberyard on the outskirts of DC as a commuter train passes by—what more clarity do you need?) The only thing I’d change is just cut the lone in parenthetical phrase.

Second person is a bad choice for writing erotica. Sorry.