All Comments on 'Coming of Age'

Liked your story but consider having an editor or proofreader on your next submissions. Sometimes the little errors are the most annoying - MRS F pulls up in a VW bug in the parking lot but takes him hime in a Mercedes :)

Looking forward to more

i enjoyed it, the ending was a bit different than i expected

I have to give you good marks on the story, and chide you for the small errors. Didn't take away from it at all, but I know you were enjoying writing it and that can cause the slip ups. Again, nice story, hope it does well in the contest. Lance

Several little details made me go back and reread previous paragraphs, but overall a very good story. Thank you for writing it.

I read it, enjoyed it, saw some of the errors that have been mentioned by others but they didn't bother me -- or the story. Keep it up.

...are the ones that are truly fun to read. Loved the story, and good luck in the contest!

Loved your story. Brought back some fond memories

A true masterpiece. Absolutely loved it although it was a little long. Good luck in the contest although I doubt you need it.

The nit picks are so very minor. Some, others have mentioned. "I just want to do good", should be answered with, "Then go work in a Mother Theresa Orphanage. I think you mean you want to do WELL". And, that Dart's 340 is a V8, not a V6. It would have pistons the size of your head if it were a V6. All in all, very well done!

I love a good <i>story</i> and this fits the bill quite nicely. The sex is secondary to the plot and the characters, and it flows quite nicely.

Good luck in the contest!

Wow... what can I say. There's something about a spectacular story with a great set of characters and believable plot line. Bravo! Great job, other than the car mixup. I was almost sad that it ended, as one reader told me... 5 pages wasn't enough. From a fellow author, I hope you win, that was a truly inspiring read.

- Kami

wille is in a class by himself when it comes to telling a story. "Coming of Age" is among the best pieces I've read on Literotica. Budding authors, willie is a talent you can learn from. Can't wait to read more submissions from him!

Great setup to a punchline that could be even greater.

Sequels! We want sequels!

This splendidly sensual tale has HOT, JUICY SEX with an odd message: If your daughter needs a top-flight lover and mate, just build her one. The pace of the improbable plot and the writing are excellent, with just a couple of gaffes (VW, my ass!). No high-class waiter would let the naive boob have a subtle Riesling wine with beefsteak. At first the story seems to be about a horny kid in the clutches of a wily predatory cougar, but then unfolds into a complex Mature Manhood Academy taught by a supersexed babe to a young man of true natural quality. I LOVE IT!

i'm pretty sure i wouldn't want my mom building me the perfect lover, but i enjoyed the preying cougar story.

I really enjoyed this. I don't think it was too long, for the story progression that was in it, anyway. The ending could have been explained a bit more. How much does the daughter know about her mother's scheme?

Don't be tempted to write a sequel. It stands perfectly on its own.

While she was at it, Mrs. Fontana should have helped Andy with his grammar: for example, the use of pronouns.

What a beautifully-written tale.

Keep writing, mate. I'll look for the others later.

Fantastic read. Thank you.

Enjoy

Terry

totally did not expect the end, shows there's a romantic side to us perverts

Great ending; left me wondering if Don had broken in Julianna, in much the same manor that Dee had broken in Andrew. Those rich folks are so fucked up, you couldn't put anything past them. All in all, it was a good tale with some really magic moments. I especially enjoyed the magical change of a Volkswagen into a Mercedes-Benz. I gave it a, well deserved, rating of 5 Stars. Thanks for what you do.

Loved the story, but would now like to read more about those birthdays and life after that party!

a good mentor, priceless.

What a story ... to be hand-picked and trained in all the expectations of the daughter ... I have always thought that young men should be tutored by older women -- fewer divorces!!

Oh to be young Andy. Taught to be all he could be by a captivating, beautiful, older WOMAN!

The but? I was wondering how the "new VW" suddenly turned in to a Mercedes?

Loved the story and the "teacher!" Perhaps a continuance with her daughter?

From the start a completely different take on what can happen. Not knowing the outcome, this is a story that keeps the reader wondering what is going to happen with the next turn of events. The teacher and the student aren't sure what to expect from one another. The outcome was a surprise worth reading to the finale. And as one other mentioned, how did the VW Bug become a Mercedes?

great story but it ended too abruptly..you worked it up,you have to work it down as well

The story was well put together and I liked the style. I have to admit that it became pretty obvious where things were going by about mid story, but it was still fun to get there. What I was disappointed on though was the lack of sex scenes. Only two full ones in the entire story. There was more alluded too and a partial, but those left much to be desired. Overall, good story, but middling erotica.

The lady's VW morphed into a Mercedes on the way to the park

A good story which did need a few more sex scenes to express how much the cub 'Andy' was improving.

The ending was a little abrupt though, perhaps a sequel on how he interacts with the family, especially the Dee the mother.

Does Andy's wife do the same to a young man for their daughters future !

This story to end as well as it did. In fact, I did not expects such a story on Literotica. Very well done!

Just discovered you in this morass of story tellers! Rare to find something as well constructed. I really enjoyed it although I have to agree with some of the other comments that the ease with which the whole thing occurs was somewhat fairy-tale like!!! As was the ending.

However, having said that, you balanced it allowing for the attention span and intrinsic proclivities of the readers so, in that sense, it's pretty damn near perfect! More please. I do enjoy your writing.

David

Very nice story, the way that you ended it makes sound like a male version of Cinderella. But truly did enjoy reading it.

Very nice. Not a stroke story. Sorry for being anonymous. I've never signed up.

M.

Some tension before each of the sex scenes, but the sex scenes themselves were too matter-of-fact. To buildup. She blows him. He eats her. They fuck. He undresses slowly for her, but there's nothing about her getting undressed -- either by herself, or him doing it. There's virtually no mention -- or involvement with -- her breasts. her nipples don't seem to exist. There's no material manual manipulation of his cock by her, and there's no material manual manipulation of her pussy by him. What's her ass like? etc.

thing or two but it was a good read. Scotty

Except for her car starting out as a VW Bug and morphing into a Mercedes, it was a very nice, though improbable story! Good job!

Very nicely done, and I love surprise endings. Only one criticism, and I say it with tongue planted firmly in cheek. A 340 is a high performance V8, not a V6!

This is truly an enjoyable story! I read this story a couple of years ago and I was excited when I found it again today! Thank You for sharing such a wonderfully written story!

Wow! Quite an original storey loved it.

Fantastic!

thank you for a beautifully constructed story

Warm, tender and brilliant

Please keep writing