All Comments on 'Coming of Age with Both my Aunts'

I enjoyed this story, and hope you continue it.

It's Ronda not Rhonda

I personally found the topic of this tale great, the execution not so much - it seemed like stream of consciousness writing as it meandered from time to time and was very disjointed.

The descriptions were good, but the jarring jumps in time and persons really took me out of the tale.

3/5 - keep trying please

Did Dad and Mom divorce when you were five, and did they still live together like you lead us to believe? What a progressive relationship. Proofreading might have been a good idea

I enjoyed the story line and would love to see more chapters.

Several good ideas but too much exposition. If this was a real story, why would the narrator explain all these meaningless details? There is a good story here if the text is edited down to maybe half the length.

I couldn't get through the first two pages.

There was so many pointless filler details. Why is the first 1/3rd of the first page dedicated to a character who never has a line of dialogue? (Nanny that died) Why are you describing your MC as shy around girls then in the next 50 words, having him straight up tell his aunts they're 'sexy' when he couldn't even ask out the girl he had a crush on.

How does Carrie have mind reading powers and why did MC think it was okay to say 'those shoes drive me crazy?'. Your dialogue makes 50 shades of grey look good, yikes. 2/5 stars from me.

The proper spelling is "Rhondda".

I thought it was a solid, engaging plat line. I would have liked a little more "behind the scenes" as to why Becky would cheat on her husband and Carrie never seemed to have a boyfriend. I think one more, possibly two more chapters to explore where all this leads would be interesting. Ignore the BS "couldn't get past two pages" comments... this was a decent story I'd rate in the 4-5* range. I'll give you 5* now and see what you do with it.

God I hope there are more chapters to come.

I almost quit by the end of the first page as the timeline, and people, jumped around so much. It made it difficult to track the characters.

Much better on the other pages.

I know it isn't easy to put your hard work out there for others to criticize, so thank you and best wishes.

This story had all the makings of being a sexy masterpiece. It just jumped around too much, too many needless details and not enough where it was needed. More description of the lead up to being with the aunts. Maybe rewrite parts of it. It’s a great idea, concept. Just needs some tweaking.

Needs some polishing, some proofreading, and maybe a couple more chapter.

Then a light bulb went on in my head.

All 3 girls were Bi.

"Oh my God!! I'm just a boy toy, being told to do whatever they wanted."

I walk over to Becky's room and open the door.

I see them in all sorts of munching on each other.

Carrie sees me and says "Hey, what you doing in here? This is girl time."

I stare in disbelief as I realize that I've been set up this whole time.

I held my anger in check and said, "I just wanted to tell you I'm packing up and moving out. I don't ever want to see or talk to any of you again. That's my final answer."

Before they could get over the shock and get up and dressed I grabbed my books and a few clothes and drove away.

I went back to Mom and Dad's and finished college without explaining anything but saying we had a falling out. After college I found a great job in another state. 5 years later I have a wife with a baby on the way. I haven't spoken to them since that night and never will.

Then this story would get 5*

Neat little story. Too many vignettes that went nowhere nor aided in moving the story along. Plus, never liked when women conspire in a supposedly equal relationship.

Think this needs more but it was interesting but didn't like the ending.

Frankly, a confusing and messy tale. It rambles around with no coherent plot, a sketchy background and the many events are to follow. The characters are shallow and poorly drawn and their motives are unclear. I felt quite lost and dissatisfied by the end. Sorry.

LegallySane is so correct. It is a shambles of a story about some very queer women.