Complementary: Yang

Looking back on it, I really should have seen my termination coming.

I was relatively new to the company. It was deemed an essential business, but the effect COVID-19 and its lockdowns had on the economy meant they needed to downsize. I would be expendable. It made sense from a business perspective.

Still, it hurt.

I was laid off in early April, which meant I had at least an entire month to myself, living in my apartment. I consider myself an introvert, so for a while it wasn't too bad. I watched movies, played video games, the usual, but the boredom crept in sooner than I hoped.

Then a new opportunity presented itself.

I was on Craigslist looking for a new desk and saw an ad that seemed tailor-made for me, enough to make me click and read further.

They were looking for a gay male in his mid-twenties to test a new supplement designed to boost libido and increase sexual satisfaction. I looked at the pay and it was decent, more than I was getting from unemployment.

Almost on a whim I signed up, but unexpectedly they got back to me later that same day.

This was supposed to be a 120-day trial of their supplement. To combat the placebo effect they couldn't tell me exactly what the pills were supposed to do, but I was to tell them about any changes, big or small, and they would intervene immediately if a symptom was unwanted. I was also free to quit at any time, for any reason, though I would only get paid for the days I took the pills.

It seemed a little sketchy as a concept, but the people at the company I talked to were able to put my mind at ease a little bit. This would be a controlled experiment. None of the effects would be permanent.

Before I began I had to do a long interview, a Facetime call that ended up lasting almost three hours. Measurements, questions about my personality, my dieting and exercising habits, sleep schedule, the whole nine yards. But when it was all done Ryan, the man interviewing me, told me I would be perfect for the experiment. He sent me a link to a virtual contract and encouraged me to think it over.

I slept on it and decided that if nothing else, this was an easy way to make money. Ryan was beaming when he heard the news.

"That's great, Micah! We'll send you the tablets, but the experiment will begin on the 27^th, so you'll have to wait until then to start."

The 27^th. That was in five days.

The pill bottle arrived on the 24^th, and it looked unassuming. It was a medium gray and didn't have much in the way of labelling. It just had the company's name and contact information in white text.

The pills inside were more interesting. They were all small, white circles, but each had a black dot in the middle. They almost looked like little cartoon eyes.

I wasn't exactly sure why the experiment couldn't just start immediately, but I figured it was inconsequential. I ordered a pizza to celebrate getting a new job.

*****

At last the day came for the experiment to begin. Admittedly, I was hesitant to take the first pill, but everything I knew about my contract and the experiment was enough to reassure me. Feeling like I was about to explore a new world, I took one of the little white pills.

It was small and tasteless, going down easily. Even though I was told that any effects would be subtle and gradual, a childish, irrational part of my brain was almost expecting an immediate, drastic change, like my cock growing or something. Of course, that didn't happen. Shrugging, I closed the bottle and went on with my day.

For nearly two weeks nothing happened. I kept looking for a change, but couldn't find anything about me that seemed different. Ryan assured me that it was expected to take a while, but I was starting to get tired of taking the pills and explaining that nothing changed every day.

Then came the morning of day 12.

I woke up to a very strange itching sensation. I was scared I had hives or something, maybe an allergic reaction to the pills, but when I examined my body in my bathroom mirror I looked fine. I was confused until I turned on the lights in my room and saw what the problem was immediately.

There were little hairs all over the bed. They looked too short to be from my head, and I was eventually able to put together that they had to be body hair.

Right away I called Ryan and explained what happened. He was quick to assure me that the thinning of body hair was expected at some point. He suggested that I shave so that it would grow out more evenly and make awakenings like this less frequent.

"We'll send over a good razor if you want," he offered.

"Yeah, that would be great. Thanks." I didn't have any razors suitable for the job.

The next day I used my new razor to shave myself from head to toe. I considered removing my pubes as well, but instead decided to just trim them with an electric razor. Once it was all done I examined myself in the mirror and liked what I saw a lot.

I had never cared one way or the other about my body hair. Thanks to my Senegalese heritage, I have a very deep skin tone, so my fuzz and fur didn't stand out very much. But without it I enjoyed how smooth I felt. I looked fresher, more youthful overall. It was a nice change.

Another development happened a few days later when I got my first paycheck deposited into my account. More and more this experiment seemed to be just what I needed.

As the days turned into weeks, my body hair did grow back, but it was a little finer and softer than it had been previously. It took to shaving pretty well and I got into the habit of manscaping. I loved the way it made me feel. I even started shaving my face while I was at it.

The experience changed my outlook on the little white pills and what they were doing. I wasn't apprehensive or suspicious anymore. I was excited, almost eager to find out what change would happen next.

*****

I knew that the pills were meant to increase libido, and after a month or so it became clear that it was doing such. It wasn't a dramatic change, but there never seemed to be a time I wasn't in the mood. It still wasn't the best idea to go out into the world looking for sex or bringing a stranger into my apartment, so I took matters into my own hands.

I never gave much thought to my amount of sexual stamina, but it was starting to seem like I had a quicker trigger than I used to. However, the orgasm was less intense, more drawn out. When it was over I could stop or get right back to making another one. I had taken to coming two or even three times per session. The loads were smaller, but that seemed natural given the circumstances.

One day I was jerking off to a hot scene of a muscular daddy pounding a soft little twink and without really thinking about it my free hand migrated downwards to poke my hole a bit.

I moaned slightly and stopped my movements for a moment.

I'm versatile, not opposed to bottoming, but ass play wasn't usually something I did by myself. Now, it felt great. When I got back to working my cock I started fingering myself and the combination was exquisite. I was able to bring myself up even faster, and once that orgasm was finished all I wanted to do was keep going.

Ryan later informed me that this was part of what the pills were doing.

"By the way, have you seen any changes in your digestive schedule?"

I thought about it and realized there was a change. I was becoming more regular. I nodded.

"The white pills also have concentrated fiber in them to help with colon health. This is to encourage anal play more often."

That's exactly what I did. I purchased some dildos and vibrators and it was like a whole new plane of sexual pleasure was opened up to me. My cock on its own seemed almost boring now. My hole was what gave me pleasure that rocked my world.

After a masturbation session that resulted in four orgasms I started wondering if I was going too far down the rabbit hole. To challenge myself, I went three entire days without any masturbation at all. Thankfully, I was able to do it without much difficulty. That was a huge relief. I was scared I was turning into a nymphomaniac or something. But I was able to focus and care about other things just fine.

Still, I was a little lonely. I missed sex with another person. It was early June by then and my state was starting to see a decrease in cases. Maybe it was time to go out into the world a little more.

I pulled out my phone and opened the Grindr app, which had been untouched for months. In spite of myself I smiled, imagining all the possibilities.

*****

Probably the most unexpected change showed itself in mid-June, nearly halfway through my journey with the white pills.

I was visiting my sister Olivia and her family for her birthday and I had a great time. Her husband Will was a good guy and their daughter Audrey was the sweetest little thing.

We had fun, but what was most interesting to me happened towards the end. We were all together watching Inside Out, a movie I had heard was good but never seen before. I liked it a lot, but then came the ending, the tearjerker moment that a lot of Disney movies have.

Audrey was crying, but I think I was crying even harder.

I'm not normally a sensitive guy. I couldn't even remember the last time I cried while watching a movie. But the emotions just poured out of me and I didn't know how to make it stop.

I was almost tempted to get up and leave out of embarrassment, but then Audrey surprised me. Instead of going to her mom or dad, who were both calm, she ran up to me, the other person in the room who couldn't keep it together. Instinctually I hugged her tight and we both rode it out. I wasn't even embarrassed by the time it was over. It almost felt good.

Later that night Will was playing with Audrey and Olivia took the opportunity to talk with me in private.

"There really is something different about you. You never would have done that a few years ago."

I thought about it and realized she was right. Was the pill doing this to me?

"Yeah, sorry, I wasn't expecting it, either."

"No need to apologize, it's a nice change. Good to see you getting in touch with your sensitive side for once in your life." Some of that older-sister teasing tone crept in.

I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"Well, you're stone cold as always, so that hasn't changed."

She playfully punched my arm and we went back to what we were doing.

Ryan was so excited when I told him about it. He was grinning ear to ear.

"That's excellent! Emotional sensitivity and empathy is hard to pin down chemically, but it looks like we're on track!"

I chuckled at how ecstatic he was. I liked the physical changes the white pills had on me, but even if it wasn't unwelcome it was a little scary to find that they were also starting to affect me mentally. I told him as much and he calmed down.

"Please don't worry about it. There's nothing the pill can do to change your personality. It's just chemicals that push things in a certain direction. And if you don't like it, you're always free to stop. The data you've given us already is invaluable."

I shook my head. "No, it's nothing like that. It's just a change I wasn't expecting."

"You should embrace it," he encouraged. "Getting in touch with your emotions is a skill that can help you immensely."

I decided to take his advice and move with the adjustment. It was a strange thing, learning to work with my emotions. When I got sad, I didn't try to cheer up, I let myself be sad until I came back up on my own. Happiness became something I didn't take for granted. Anger wasn't an obstacle anymore, it was a cause for reflection. But I mean it when I say that it really helped with my mental state. I was able to face bouts of depression and anxiety easier because I understood myself a little better. It even improved my love life a bit. Emotion became a tool to make intimacy and sex even more satisfying. It was nothing life-changing, it was still no-strings-attached hookups, but it made me yearn for more.

I was emotional, but still in control. It was incredible.

*****

In late July, the gyms finally opened up again, and I was happy to get back to work. I did home workouts, but the variety the gym had was something I really missed.

I'd heard other people talk about the "quarantine fifteen" and how they'd have to spend the rest of 2020 making up for it. I'm not sure if I gained that much weight during lockdown, but I noticed that my body fat percentage visually increased a bit. I still looked fit, not flabby at all, but I had this veil that softened my musculature. I wasn't sure how much of it was because of the gym hiatus and how much of it was the white pill's doing.

Working out like I used to helped me notice some more subtle changes. My muscles were less bulky, less firm. It wasn't a horrible downgrade at all, I still had the overall strength I had previously, but it contributed to the softness my body shape was getting.

The most prominent change was in my ass. My African genes meant my body stored excess fat down there anyway, but it seemed more pronounced now. I had a soft, round bubble that looked better than it had at any other point in my life.

As suspected, Ryan confirmed that the pills were working their magic on me.

Like everything else the pill had done, I decided that leaning into this change would make me most happy. I spent less time on arms, and always aimed for tone and lean muscle over bulk. The changes were subtle, but I loved the way I felt with these new goals.

I would often look at my naked body in the mirror and see how I had changed over the course of the experiment. I'm 5'10", not too tall, so the lack of body hair and light curves made me look younger, almost cuter. I was soft, but not weak. Was it the pill making me love what I saw so much? I looked...beautiful.

Eventually came the time where I was almost out of those little white pills that changed my life for the better. I didn't want to stop taking them. Did that mean I was addicted? Was being addicted to something so helpful even a bad thing?

I talked to Ryan about it and he told me something I hadn't really thought of.

"These pills aren't magic spells that transformed your body. I'd wager that a majority of the change in you was due to your own hard work. The chemicals pointed you in a certain direction, but you took the steps when you found out the direction was one you liked. Let me tell you something I've kept secret until now."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I've been on those pills for over a year at this point. I've taken breaks, detoxed, and started up again with no ill effect. It warms my heart to see that you love them as much as I do."

I smiled. That really was nice to hear.

"But that brings us to the matter of what will happen going forward. Do you want to continue this experiment?"

"Absolutely."

"I thought so. But for the next stage of experiment you'll have to come to us. We'll book a hotel room for you and you'll begin your stay on the 120^th day."

I nodded. I was eager to see where this journey would take me next.

*****

There didn't seem to be any expense spared when it came to where I would spend the next week. It was a really nice hotel and when I got to my room I saw that it was big and fancy. I had a king-sized bed all to myself. I noticed something, however. On the bedside table were three things: a box of condoms, a bottle of lube, and a small camera. The red blinking light indicated that it was recording.

The condoms and lube meant they predicted I'd have a lot of sex during my stay, but why the camera? I wasn't comfortable with being watched all the time like that.

Maybe an hour after I checked in I heard what sounded like someone fiddling with the door. I sat up, concerned. Ryan hadn't told me he was coming over. Housekeeping, maybe? But I just got here.

The door opened and in walked a man I had never seen before. He was a white guy around my age and holy shit, he was hot! His pale skin was muscled and firm. He carried himself with so much confidence. His face was angular and strong, but his eyes were so bright and kind, looking at me curiously as he took off his mask. He glanced around the room some more before he spoke.

"Uh...hello," he said. "I wasn't told there would be somebody else in my room."

Wait, his room?

"I'm just as confused as you are, dude."

He put down his bag and walked up.

"Well, I'm Brett."

Brett held out his strong hand and flashed me a smile.

"It's nice to meet you."

I smiled back, almost reeling with how much I loved hearing the sound of his voice.

"My name is Micah. And it's nice to meet you, too."

We shook hands and I swear on my life that I felt sparks when we touched. The handshake definitely lasted longer than what would normally be socially acceptable.

We started talking. About what, I don't remember, because I couldn't get enough of looking at him. He had short, dirty-blond hair and a chiseled face. His shape was firm and solid, and his exposed arms had wiry hair I assumed covered much of his body. Most of all, Brett exuded a sort of quiet authority. The way he talked, what he said, it all told me that he was confident and had nothing to hide. I could trust this man.

He...

He would take care of me.

We hadn't even been talking for two minutes when we made direct eye contact and he trailed off in the middle of a sentence. Then, slowly but deliberately, he reached out and cupped my face with his hands.

"Micah, you can feel this, too." He said that as a statement, not a question. And he was right.

"I have never been more attracted to anyone in my entire life than I am to you right now."

I swallowed. "Same here."

He leaned in and kissed me. I felt those sparks again and we made out with intensity.

Fuck, he smelled so good! I liked his scent from the moment he walked up, but now that he was so close I was practically swooning. His musk was manly, powerful. A perfect aphrodisiac.

After we came up for air Brett pulled away and walked over to the bedside table.

"We're definitely going to need these." He got out a condom and broke the seal on the lube. "But we won't need this." He leaned down to look at the camera and spoke directly to it.

"I'm sorry, o-great-watcher, but you can just guess what we're about to do." He turned it around and sat back down next to me. I was glad he caught that; I'd forgotten about the camera by then.

"Now, where were we?"

He leaned in and we made out some more. Like it was the most natural thing in the world I leaned back on the bed and he followed. Brett was on top of me. He was in control. It was perfect.

He put his hands on my shirt and looked at me. I got what he was asking and nodded. Urgently, he took off all my clothes and stood to remove his own.

"Your body is so fucking hot. Your face is so fucking gorgeous. I want you so badly."

I sighed a little, not caring if I sounded a touch feminine.

"I want you to give it to me."

Without ceremony he lifted up my legs and ate my ass like he was starving. He growled, he nibbled, he slobbered all over my hole like an animal. It was like he was a fierce lion and I was his willing prey.

After a few minutes he pulled off and furiously unwrapped the condom.

"God, you're beautiful, Micah. Are you ready?"

"I've never been more ready, Brett."

He pushed in and my passage accepted him easily. His cock was about six inches long, same as mine, but fuck did he know how to use it. It was electrifying, and like it was instinct I moved with him. It wasn't long at all before I came hands-free.

"Keep going, big guy," I breathed. "I can come over and over."

He mashed his lips against mine and purred into my mouth.

"Hold on tight, babe."