Condo Conflict Ch. 05: Old Demons

I was watching intently when I felt a tap on my arm.

"Hi Barry! How are you today?" Cherise smiled at me. Damn!

"I'm busy right now."

"You can't be. They're all coming up now because the inspector is here. I heard her."

I didn't say anything more and looked away.

"Barry. Can we talk about this? I feel awful and I want it resolved."

"It already was. In divorce court. Or did you forget that?" I spat out.

"I was wrong, but don't hate me forever. I need you to forgive me."

"Why should I?"

"Barry, it's like a circle: I think about what I did; I see it was wrong; I apologize to you; I ask your forgiveness; then, I try to do better. Won't you let me finish this?"

"Oh yeah, your faith stuff, eh. OK, let's go over there where its private and we'll clear this up for good," I growled.

I was angry and I wanted to shake this woman loose. Confronting her was probably the best way to get her away from me for good. We went over to a secluded bench by some trees and sat down. I started out right away.

"Do you know how I found out about you? Did I ever tell you that? I didn't think so. Remember that guy you worked with, that manager Rick, Prick, whoever he was? He was the one."

"Rick's still there, but in admin now- a company VP, in fact."

"So, are you banging him anymore, or are you doing somebody else?"

"No. I'm not like that now, and I'm so ashamed that I was."

"He told me everything. About what was really going on when you were staying after work for new product in-service. You were the in-service, modelling the latest lingerie and high fashion for the office managers. He told me how you'd always end up naked. How they'd argue about whose turn it was this week, then let you choose. There were three of them, and everybody in the office knew their dirty little secret because they bragged about it."

"Rick was jealous because I lost interest in him. That's probably why he came to you."

"It was even worse. I asked a guy from one of your staff parties to sniff around a bit because I still wanted to believe you. Everything Rick said was true, and then some. No wonder you'd rush straight for the shower when you came in late. And the weekends you went for staff training: Hell, with so much at-work practice, what didn't you already know? I was such a fool!"

"It was wrong, but I need you to forgive me Barry. Even the worst person deserves that much, don't you think?"

"Stay away from me, Cherise! I don't want to ever see your face again!" I shouted.

I jumped to my feet and prepared to walk away until I heard her. Cherise was crying, sobbing in a way that was genuine. It unsettled me and my anger quickly subsided. She really wanted my forgiveness, but I just couldn't do it.

I steeled myself and left.

****

Until a few weeks ago, everything was going well, but that had changed. Sure, there were the inevitable little problems with the condominium project. But when developer Emilio Santamundi learned there was a complete work stoppage for a few days about safety issues, he was incensed- as if that anything to do with our company.

On top of him harassing us, I was being hounded by my ex-wife when I was downtown to track the construction. Seeing Cherise in tears was bothering me. This wasn't like the hardnosed cheater that I'd come to know- lying to me straight-faced at every turn. She had changed.

I was still angry. There was no chance we could even be friends, but... she had apologized several times and admitted our train wreck was all her fault. I was caught between hate and forgiveness, with a nod toward hatred most of the time.

Early the following week work got underway again at the construction site, with everything to the government inspector's satisfaction. Emilio backed off and a few days later, the concrete footings were being constructed, with the first pours scheduled in a week.

We all breathed a sigh of relief, and I reverted to a twice-weekly visit to monitor progress with the site supervisor. There were usually some questions about the blueprints to be straightened out, but things were generally fine now.

Meanwhile, I was going through little bouts of conscience about Cherise. One evening I asked Monica for her opinion about it.

"I'm having a problem about Cherise, and I'd like your thoughts."

"Is that woman after you again? Is it time for me to go down there and rip a strip off her?" she said with some anger.

"Nothing like that. About a week ago we had a serious talk. I confronted her with all the dirty tricks and lies she left me with. I was very blunt."

"So, what did she say?"

"She practically begged me to forgive her. Cried like a baby when I said I never wanted to see her again. Then I walked away."

"Oh. You just walked away," she echoed. "And it's bothering you, isn't it?"

"It shouldn't, but it is. Cherise says she's found faith and needs my forgiveness so she can get on with her life. She seems very different now from the cheater I used to know- religious and all."

"And she doesn't want to get back with you?"

"I couldn't have made that any clearer. I don't even want to see her again, let alone be a friend."

"Think of it this way, Barry. Without her cheating, you and I would never have come together, right? Make a deal. Forgive her, but only if she'll agree to stay away."

"Hmm.... Let me think about that for a while."

"It's a chance to get rid of your demons," Monica concluded and left me with my thoughts.

"Maybe, but I don't know if I can do it." I said as she left the room.

It seemed too easy to let her off like that after all she'd done to ruin our marriage. Sure, she'd admitted that it was all her fault, but did that absolve her from everything she'd done? Let her feel guilty. I wasn't ready to help her get over it, and maybe I never would be either?

****

About a week later, I was downtown again for a routine progress check. The parking garage concrete footings were all in place now, and the old wall at the front showed no signs of disturbance. The street was temporarily blocked off as big flat-bed transport trucks delivered massive steel beams that would become the skeleton of the building. Things looked good.

Recently I'd been thinking about what my old man used to say whenever I'd ask for something new, like a bike or sports equipment.

"Give your mother and me what we want, and you'll get what you want," he'd coax, challenging me to earn what I sought.

I knew that it would take good behaviour or some help around the house before I'd see that new bike. It was definitely 'old school'- but a useful credo to live by. There was a simple wisdom in it, a two-way deal.

Then I spotted Cherise looking my way from a distance. She didn't come toward me, probably because I'd been harsh with her last time. So, I waved to her.

"Hi Barry," she said quietly when she came closer. "I thought you never wanted to see me again."

I started slowly, "Monica says that we both need to move on. I'm still angry whenever I think about how you deceived me and made me feel like shit...."

"I know I did, Barry, and I apologize." Sincerity was written all over her face.

"I can see that you've changed. Finding religion is working for you. So... yes, I'll forgive you, Cherise," I gritted out with some difficulty.

She broke into a big smile but I continued.

"But only on two conditions. One, I don't want to have anything to do with your life- not even friendship. I'll nod if I see you on the street, but nothing more. And two, know that Monica will rip into you if she ever sees you coming 'round. Do you understand?"

She laughed at the second one.

"I guess I've been warned," she laughed. "Your Monica had good advice. I'll tell my new friends at church that you've set me free with a clean slate. And I'll try to do better than I did with you. Thanks, Barry, and well... goodbye."

Cherise leaned toward me for a parting hug, but I stepped back and offered my hand instead. We shook on our little deal.

Then she turned to walk away, smiling. She had the peace she needed.

It was hard to forgive her for all that she'd done to me.

But Cherise was out of my life now- for good.

We both got what we wanted, and...

I'd exorcised my old demons.