Confessing to my Husband

Confessing to My Husband - Just what the doctor needed

Nancy didn't immediately say anything to me about the way she had found me. She would tell me later that she needed a few days to process everything. She said that she had been so busy that day at the hospital, all she wanted was some help.

She said that it wasn't until afterward that she realized the condition I was in. She felt bad and angry but confused because I didn't seem very upset. In fact, what really confused her was that she had a distinct impression that I had enjoyed what had been done to me.

I have to admit, I had mixed feelings too. I knew intellectually what they had done to me was completely and criminally wrong.

But Nancy had guessed correctly. Maybe I wasn't as upset because, I thought it was just another dream in a string of increasingly explicit and realistic dreams. In fact, it wasn't until Nancy woke me up that I realized I had been actually fucked by at least two doctors.

She had also been correct about me enjoying it. I did enjoy it, I had always thought I was an aggressive woman, but given the nature of my dreams I will really starting to wonder.

As a doctor, and a professional, I should have been more upset to know how I had been violated, the problem was that I wasn't. I was kind of relieved that Nancy hadn't spoken to me because I didn't really know what I would say to her when she did.

Nancy was a good friend and we had shared lots of long conversations, but I knew she had even less bandwidth than me. Not only was Nancy balancing the same pressures I was, but she had three kids and all were early teenagers or preteens and she just had no time for herself, much less understanding my deviant behavior, despite how much she liked me.

As a fellow doctor, I'd known I should expect something, a lecture, shock, concern, or even disapproval, something. I knew it would be just a matter of time.

It took almost a week before it happened. During that time, I had forced myself, for now, to limit my "activity" to solo sessions on breaks, in the car, and after everyone had gone to bed. I talked a little to Rachel and she was supportive. Rachel understood my desires and needs more than anyone.

I was sitting alone and had just started my lunch when Nancy finally came and sat beside me. She looked concerned and she looked tired, but she smiled when she asked to sit with me.

I knew she cared. She knew about my relationship and my sexual frustrations, and I knew she was experiencing her own versions of them too. She didn't know about Rachel, but she did know that somebody had fucked me silly right before she found me.

"Does Scott know?" she began. I had wondered how she would break the ice.

I tried hard to find the right answer but didn't succeed.

"What that I'm a slut now?" I said trying to add humor, but I only sounded defensive instead.

"I didn't say that, but it was pretty obvious that someone had just fucked you the other day," her bluntness and language surprised me. When it was just her and I she could make a trucker blush.

Does he know about what happened to you that day?

I took a long breath.

"Yes and No," I said cryptically, and then continued, "He knows about my desires and needs, but he doesn't know that two doctors fucked me in the private lounge at the hospital."

I took another deep breath and started talking and couldn't really stop. It took a while to explain about the dreams and my increased desire for anything sexual. I told her about what I thought was just a really vivid dream.

"You were raped then," her eyes increasingly full of fire, "I'm going to get the Hospital Director and the board involved." She started to get up and I pulled her arm, so she sat back down. Her face was bright red, and she was as mad as I had ever seen her be mad.

"No Nancy don't," I said pleading. People were beginning to stare and notice us talking. After several moments she reluctantly sat back down, the look of puzzlement replacing the anger on her face.

"How much time do you have?" I asked.

"About an hour or so, we have good coverage for a change," she said, and I could see she really wanted to understand.

I took a deep breath and said, "Let's get some food and I'll tell you why I don't want to make a big deal about this."

We went and bought two coffees and some food and sat back down. This time I told her everything, this time from the beginning, including Rachel. At different points, her eyes become really wide and several times she covered her mouth, but to her credit, she listened and never interrupted me.

Finally, I said, "As much as what they did was totally and completely wrong," I paused for a moment, then I said, "I liked it, and I would likely let them do it again," I said and I thought she was going to be disgusted with me, but she surprised me.

She waited a moment and then said, "Mel, it's a common fantasy, and given everything you have told me, I can see how you might see it as erotic, but they shouldn't have done it, and most people won't see it as being erotic," she said with far more understanding and compassion than I thought possible.

"If it gets out, you will get blamed for being a slut or a whore, and you will get blamed," she said quietly so the surrounding tables couldn't hear.

I started to speak again and repeated what I had first said, "When it began I thought I was dreaming, I had been so exhausted, and even right up to the time you woke me up, I thought it was just a really intense dream."

"Intense dream," she snorted, "There was so much cum all over you I thought you had fucked several guys."

"That's how realistic my dreams have been lately, and they are getting even more intense," I said.

She reached across the table and held my hand; she kept holding it for quite a while. Several people noticed and I heard whispered comments, but Nancy didn't seem to even notice anyone else in the room.

We talked about what happened even more. I explained that I didn't care what people said. I was finding it increasingly difficult to stop myself and frankly, didn't want to stop myself.

She leaned across the table and whispered that I should get myself checked regularly and I made her promise not to tell anyone. Then she asked me again about Scott. During the last confession, I had told her that Scott was supportive, but I hadn't talked about getting to that point.

I took another deep breath and exhaled.

"Tell me," she said, "Please."

"It kind of happened by accident," I began.

It was weird.

He wasn't mad.

It started with my slut panties, the ones that say, "My husband wants you to cum in me."

I hadn't expected him to find them. I smiled because at least I knew to know where the missing pair had disappeared to.

"Is this what you want?" he said with eyes that seemed to bore into soul.

I knew this moment would change everything. There wasn't going to be a way to return to where I had been even five minutes ago. I looked down at them, black and silky, with the lettering emboldened across the crotch.

I knew I only had a micro-second to decide, Scott never even blinked.

"Yes," was my reply, my voice cracked a little, it almost didn't sound like me at all.

Silence. We waited, and I held my breath.

"I don't want a divorce," he said finally without emotion.

I knew Scott liked what he had. He had a nice house, membership in the club, and two smart sons, and he was comfortable. Most of this was from being married to a doctor. In his well-ordered life, my job made it possible for all of his boxes to be checked.

I waited.

One second became ten, and I finally broke the tension, saying, "Scott I don't want one either, but I have needs and desires."

"For other men?"

More silence. I chose my next words very carefully.

"For more sex, it doesn't have to be men, it could be women too, I want more, I need more," I let those words hang for a moment, and then took another big leap, "And I would like you to be involved."

I couldn't believe that I had even said this. My heart was pounding in my throat, but my nipples were so hard they hurt, and I knew that my pussy was dripping into my panties. This had been my one chance, although unexpected, and I gambled everything on it.

I was sweating, and my hands were shaking with anticipation.

Now I waited for his response.

More than a whole minute went by before he started to speak.

"You expect me to be happy about this?" he said with a growing sense of emotion in his voice.

I spoke almost before he could finish, "Scott, I want you to be involved, I want you to watch me get fucked, I want you to get turned on, I want you to participate, and I want you to be happy with me and for me."

It was his turn to interrupt me, "You want my approval to cheat on me?" his voice was starting to crack.

"No Scott, I want you to want me to explore, experiment, and share my desires." I could see his anger peak and then suddenly give way to something else.

He sat down, and he put his head in his hands, I was afraid he might start to cry.

If someone had asked me 24 hours ago, I would never have expected to ever have this conversation, I wouldn't have believed it was possible, but now that it was happening, I knew exactly how I wanted it to go.

Maybe I was selfish, but I knew this was the only path to relieving my growing needs. I had denied myself for almost all of my life. My anxiety and needs were tangible, and I feared what would happen in the next few moments if this didn't go well.

My toys had arrived, and I was using them like a kid at Christmas. I didn't want the incident at the hospital to be a one-off, I had let the genie out of the bottle, and I didn't ever want to put it back.

I forced my mind back to Scott.

Finally, after several more minutes of silence, he looked up at me with distant eyes and asked, "Where are the boys?"

I wasn't sure why he asked but I answered quickly, "Ball game, they won't be back for a few hours."

"If I agree, what do I get out of this, Mel?"

I didn't hesitate and my voice was stronger this time.

"No divorce, and you can watch or join in," I said measuring my words carefully, still not really knowing where Scott was going with this.

"What if I want to be with another woman," he asked and paused.

"That would be fine with me," I said clearly.

When he spoke again after seeming to hesitate, he surprised me right to my core, "What if I want to be with a man?"

Stunned by the thought Scott might be gay or even bi, I swallowed hard, and my mouth and voice were answering almost without any conscious thought, "Same rules, I don't want anything different for me."

I wondered if he would ask what I had already done to satisfy myself, but he didn't.

I watched him think like he was balancing my needs with some secrets that he had of his own.

He straighten up, his eyes were red and watery, but his voice was clear, unwavering, and almost commanding.

"Ok, Dr. Davidson, strip."

I was stunned into inaction. Of all of his possible reactions, I hadn't dared believe in this one.

"Melissa, get naked, I will agree to this, mostly because I don't want a divorce, partly because of the boys, and I have to admit, partly because the idea gives ME some freedom to experiment, but right now I want something from you."

He began undoing his belt.

At first, I thought he was going to spank me with it, which to be a hundred percent honest, kind of turned me on as well.

He didn't though, he did pull his pants and underwear down and expose his cock. I noticed a large wet mark of precum on his underwear as he pulled them down and more fluid was very visible.

"Mel, strip, get your clothes off, from now on, whenever I ask for a blowjob, I expect you to be strip naked and be on your knees without question, and quickly."

He added, "I don't want to have to tell you twice and it doesn't matter where we are or who we are with," he paused seemingly to catch his breath.

The command and tone made my knees a little weak. I hadn't seen Scott like this before and he had never talked like this before either. My fingers fumbled with my clothes as I rushed to undress and comply. I liked it.

I had never really thought of myself as submissive, but with everything that had been happening I realized it to be true and I gave myself to my desires completely.

Then he continued, "I will let you explore and experiment as long as I get the same chance."

I couldn't believe it, without questioning him I started to pull my top over my head, my pulse was accelerating. I watched as Scott finished undressing and stood naked in front of me. I rushed and pulled my own jeans off.

He seemed surprised at seeing another pair of black lacy panties.

These ones were just black and very silky. I should add, also very, very wet.

"Mel, leave the panties on this time, but nothing else," he said as I removed my bra and freed my boobs. The chill of the room combined with the realization of what was happening made my nipples ache even more.

"On your knees, Melissa," Scott ordered, and again, without questioning I dropped in front of him. I loved the dominance that he was displaying, the scent of my pussy filled my senses.

Scott wasn't huge, but what he had was fully engorged and more clear pre-cum glistened only inches from my face.

I didn't wait to be asked, I kissed the tip of his cock and followed up by licking all of the clear liquid and making an "MMMmmm," sound while I licked and sucked him.

I had always liked sucking on cocks and now was no different. My tongue made long strokes up the length of his shaft, and before long I started using my fingers to caress and stroke his balls and ass.

"Melissa, you always could suck cock," he said, his voice trailing off as my tongue explored every inch of him. His hands roamed through my hair and several times his fingers almost locked around my neck. Each time his grip relaxed but not before my heart raced, partly from fear and partly from the thrill of what he was doing. He had never done that before and each time he did it, my pulse quickened.

I could almost take all of him into my mouth and I could feel the tip on the sides and back of my mouth. I bobbed up and down on him, constantly sucking and licking, as I could feel his body reacting.

Scott was quite hairy, and it made things a little more difficult for me but judging from the way his hands were pulling on my hair, he liked what I was doing.

I happened to look up and saw that Scott was watching me suck him. He smiled and said, "Melissa, I had forgotten what a great cocksucker you are, you must be happy that I'll let you suck anyone else's cock or maybe you will want to eat some pussy too, you little whore."

I nodded my head up and down as much as I could with a mouth full of cock.

Scott's words were making me squirm and rock back and forth.

"You like me calling you that, don't you, if you want to be a little slut, you can go ahead, but you have to come home to me every night."

Scott seemed to notice the effect his words were having on me as my sucking and fingering of him had increased considerably.

For the next few minutes, Scott called me every possible name he could, and I could feel myself starting to get close when all of a sudden, he went incredibly rigid and started to shake.

"FFFuuuccckkk," he moaned. His hips pushed hard against my face forcing him even deeper into my mouth. I felt and tasted his hot sticky cum filling the inside of my mouth.

He used my head to steady himself and pumped at least two streams of cum into my willing mouth. I was completely blown away as he pulled me to my feet and proceeded to kiss me, his lips and tongue drinking his own cum. My own body shivered with a small orgasm from everything he had said and then finally with the realization Scott liked his own cum.

Then as quickly as we had started, Scott moved away from me and started to get dressed leaving me confused and wanting more, much more.

"Are you finished?" I asked almost crying in disbelief.

"Mel, you know that once I cum, that's it," and he did up his fly.

"Thanks for the blowjob," and he left me standing in my panties with warm cum still on my face.

"Fuck!," I said louder than I wanted to, but it didn't matter Scott had already turned on the baseball game as he finished getting dressed.

I felt like he had just used me without a thought about what my needs were. That realization struck me as the reason why I wanted to do what I had been doing these past few weeks. Scott liked sex for himself and only himself. His reaction towards me or lack thereof should not have surprised me, but it was a turning point for me.

It's not that I stopped caring about him, it's just that I realized that if I wanted to address my desires, it was going to be up to me."

Nancy had been listening the entire time, by some kind of miracle neither of us had been paged while I had told her the story.

"Holy shit, are you serious?" Nancy just shook her head, when she started to speak her name was paged.

She started to get up but stopped and squeezed my hand, "Just stay under the radar Mel, don't get caught and for God's sake don't get pregnant.

"Do you think there is something wrong with me?" I asked.

They paged her again, but she stayed and still held my hand, "Mel, I think you have put yourself second for so long, that if this is what makes you feel good, what I think doesn't matter."

They paged her a third time and I could tell there was more she wanted to say, but I knew she had to go.

"I promise we'll talk some more, Mel," and she was gone.

I felt a little better that I had told her, I thought about how soft her hands were and how blue her eyes were. The blue matched mine and while I was telling her my story, I remembered how caring they seemed and how much I had wanted her to do more than just squeeze my hand. My name was paged, and I reluctantly got up and went back to work.

It had been a few days since Nancy and I had talked, and nothing much had happened, until less you counted how my fantasies had escalated. Most days I now was using my vibrator several times each day, including before and after work while driving to and from work. One day I had used it ten times.

About four days after Nancy and I had talked I managed to get away early and came home to what I thought was an empty house.

I realize now he obviously didn't see me. Maybe he didn't even realize I was home. To be fair maybe I should have been louder. I was surprised he was home and didn't hear me.

But he was on his phone, his Xbox was on, and music blared downstairs, although where he was sitting seemed quiet in comparison. It was likely the only reason I could hear him talking.

I knew it was wrong to listen. But to be honest I was intrigued when I heard him talking. As a mom, I had always kind of half-listened to phone calls my kids made. At first, I wasn't really even listening but then when I heard the words, "MILF, nice ass, small boobs, and the phrase, "Don't talk about her like that, she's my mom," and then I really couldn't help myself.

My oldest, at nineteen, almost twenty, looked just like Scott had when I met him. I knew I shouldn't be listening but like many things lately, I didn't seem to be able to stop myself.

As a listened, I watched him. He was taller than his father, he had muscular and powerful arms, a flat stomach, and a nice ass... I might be a mother but I'm still a woman and certainly not blind.

"Yes, over the past few weeks and months there is something different about her." I overheard him say.

"No, I don't have any fantasies about my mother."

"Yes, her ass is pretty awesome."

"No, don't say that, No, I don't think she would fuck us, she's my mom, I don't care that you think she's hot."