Confession Before Marriage

Why was it forbidden? Is it just another arbitrary rule that we can toss aside like all the others? Are there any rules that are absolute? Our "civilization" is composed of only the four of us. The rules don't really apply any more with no parents, no church, and no one to criticize. If the opinions and beliefs of others don't matter, what does? Sin is really only defined by people, not God.

At that point I felt my mind slowly shift and my anxiety was calmed. I realized I was listing the reasons why their behavior was NOT wrong. I recognized that we had learned to live in a new, all natural world and pleasure should be a part of that. Our happiness is the most important criteria for judging our actions. There was nothing really wrong with what they had done.

I smiled at Michael for a minute and then tried to explain the reasoning behind my new acceptance of the sister's actions. I recognized the moment when he also found acceptance with the concepts and relaxed.

"Michael, they are right. There is nothing wrong with enjoying pleasure and giving others pleasure. In our tiny island world there only a few pleasures, and we should enjoy them, not deny ourselves and our siblings."

I could see that he agreed, and something else changed in him -- and me. We smiled and fell asleep next to each other.

I woke during the night and rolled onto my side, facing Michael. The moon was full and in the half light of the shelter I saw his beautiful face and watched him breathe slowly. I also noticed the extra flesh between his legs and slowly reached out to touch it. It felt soft and warm and I began to stroke it gently. I recognized my own heated arousal from that touch. Without thinking I lowered my other hand and started to stroke between my own legs. Michael's eyes opened and he reached down and found my hand on him, but didn't pull it away. His manhood immediately started to stiffen and grow. He turned his head, only inches from my face and looked at me lovingly.

"Mary Ann, I love you and I want our bodies to share the pleasures of the flesh. Please kiss me."

We kissed, lightly at first and then more passionately. I felt his tongue enter my mouth and instead of being disgusted, I was further aroused. I realized that doing a forbidden thing was itself a form of pleasure. We pressed our bodies tightly together and I felt his staff against my belly. I also felt my own moisture and savored the feeling. I was thrilled by the feeling of our skin sliding along the other's and my nipples tickled with the slight hair on his chest. I felt his hand searching my breast and then squeezing my nipple.

In my soul, I finally saw Michael as a man, not just my brother. He was a man that I desired to share my body with. I could feel his arousal as his breathing quickened and his heartbeat was pounding. He suddenly and forcefully pushed me onto my back and rose above me. I looked down to see his penis hard and long and poised to enter me. I felt embarrassment and then excitement as he gazed at my womanhood.

"We're giving our virginity to each other Michael. I love you. Let us remember this moment always." I whispered. He descended and pushed himself against my hole. I felt pressure and then a release. He gently pushed forward and I felt a sharp pain as my maidenhood was violated. He looked at my face, wincing from the pain, and stopped moving as a considerate lover should. I adjusted to the new sensations in my body and soon gave him a smile and nodded. He understood and slowly pushed further into my body. I had been penetrated for the first time and struggled to make sense of all of the pleasure filling my mind and body.

I had experienced pleasure and orgasms while pleasing myself, but these sensations were a hundredfold greater. I moaned my satisfaction loudly, not caring who heard. Michael was moving up and down and his face was red and stressed. I was so full, so hot, so excited. I felt a tingle start between my legs and then it exploded all over my body. I convulsed, arched my back and threw my head back. My screaming drove Michael to climax and he continued thrusting rapidly while moaning and squeezing his eyes shut. I felt his ejaculation inside me and savored the feeling of consummation, of fulfillment, of love.

Michael collapsed on top of me and we both struggled to regain our breath. I felt him soften and withdraw slowly, leaving me feeling a loss. He rolled off of me and I noticed Rebecca and Sofia watching us from the doorway. I realized our shouting and moaning had wakened them. They were grinning and started clapping their approval.

Michael and I slept very deeply for a long time. The sun was high when I opened my eyes and found him looking at my face. His was full of joy and love. We kissed long and gently, enjoying the feel of our lips when there was only love and not passion driving us. We rose and left the shelter with arms around each other.

Sofia and Rebecca had been waiting by the fire for us to rise. They had wide smiles and were holding hands as they approached us.

Rebecca said: "We're so happy that you two have accepted the pleasures we can all give each other. From this day forward we will all enjoy ourselves and share love and pleasure without guilt or hesitation. Don't you agree?"

Michael and I smiled and gave our happy assent. Our sisters came to us and put their arms around us and we four leaned our heads together in the middle of our circle. I felt that my life was perfect in that moment.

After the shared moment, Rebecca removed her arm from around Sofia and gently pulled me to her. She offered her kiss and I willingly accepted it. Sofia wrapped both arms around Michael and kissed him deeply. Rebecca and Sofia looked at each other and smiled that knowing smile of success. Sofia turned and gently drew Michael toward her and into his shelter. Rebecca took my hand and we walked into the other shelter.

That day was like no other in my life. Rebecca and I lay on the bed and held each other tightly. We kissed and stroked each other's bodies. My fingertips tingled as they glided over her warm, smooth skin. This woman had been a part, but a separate part, of my entire life, and now we were about to enjoy an infinitely deeper intimacy. I buried my head between her breasts and cried gently.

Rebecca held me and slowly stroked my hair. I was reminded of this position with my mother many years before. But this was definitely different. I raised my head, looked up to smile at Rebecca, and lowered my lips to her breast and kissed her nipple. I had no experience with making love to a woman and Rebecca understood that. She said: "Let me go first" as she gently laid me on my back and ran her fingers from my neck, down my chest, across my breasts and down my belly. Her touch intensified the arousal that was deep inside me. I gasped at the feeling and at the excitement that now filled my mind. I knew where her hand was going next and shivered just from the anticipation of its arrival.

My sister ran her hand over my mound and pressed down gently. I spread my legs involuntarily and moaned softly. I had had my first sexual experience with Michael only 12 hours earlier and now realized there were more ways to express love and passion. Rebecca's loving touch and her understanding of a woman's body felt wonderful, and totally different. Her fingers stroked my womanhood and spread my lips, making me more aware of that part of my body than ever before.

Rebecca then slid down the bed and moved between my legs. I recognized that I was about to experience what I had witnessed my sisters doing the previous day. But now I felt excitement, not disgust. I raised my head to watch as she lowered her face onto me. She was about to explore my most private and intimate bits with her tongue. She looked up at me to watch my reaction, then slid her tongue out and ran it up my slit. I jumped at this totally new sensation. My eyes must have opened wide and I gasped for air. I dropped my head back down on the bed and moaned as my sister repeated her long slow stroking of my lips. Each stroke increased the tension in my belly. I could feel it building. My breathing became ragged and irregular.

Rebecca smiled and slid two of her fingers inside me, searching the opening that Michael had first penetrated in the night. My excitement reached new levels as I imagined what she was looking at. She slowly pushed her fingers in and out, raising the pressure in my body with each stroke. She used two fingers from her other hand to open my lower lips, then put her tongue between them and flicked it quickly over my most sensitive bit. I screamed and shuddered and thrust and convulsed -- my body acting on its own and completely beyond the control of my mind. Rebecca continued to flicker her tongue across my tiny bud, extending the sensations. Every muscle in my body fiercely contracted. My head was flung side to side repeatedly and I sensed I was about to faint. I didn't, but my mind became insensible and I could only experience the pleasure rolling over my entire body.

When my mind returned and I sucked air into my lungs, I just floated in my sensations. All of my muscles relaxed at one time and I slumped in the bed. I was paralyzed, only able to move my head slightly to look at Rebecca as she laid down beside me. Her smile showed the joy she felt from having given me this experience. Her face was wet from my own juices, I'm sure my face was filled with wonder and gratitude.

When I had recovered my breathing, I kissed my sister passionately and repeated 'Thank you' a hundred times. As we laid together we heard the sounds of passion coming from Michael's shelter. It was the first intercourse for Sofia and Michael used his one previous experience to assure her pleasure. It was wonderful to hear them expressing great lust and great love for each other. When I heard them panting after their climax, I knew complete happiness and satisfaction in my life. Rebecca and I fell asleep holding each other.

After our initial sexual exploration, we spent many hours pleasuring each other in many combinations. I quickly learned how to pleasure a woman and enjoyed helping my sisters feel the excitement of uninhibited sex. We sisters took turns with Michael and soon learned that the oral techniques loved by women could also be adapted to a man. Although we all shared in the pleasure, we almost always ended up as two pairs. That seemed the best way to enjoy the physical and also express the love between us.

Our life was then like a dream. We lived in paradise, we felt safe and secure on our island, and we each lived with the three people we loved most. We would occasionally talk about life in the city with hundreds of people around. The congestion and conflict were certainly not missed. But I sometimes did regret the loss of opportunities to learn, the friendship of others and the excitement of a busy world.

About a year after we began our sexual activity, we realized something had changed. The three of us had long been synchronized in our women's time each month. But Rebecca had missed her women's time once and then twice. She was pregnant. We all realized the implications of her state. She would bring a new person into this world, our world, and that person was also destined to spend their entire life on the island. Was that fair? It also meant that if we jointly bore more children, that the population of the island might increase over time and we would create a much bigger family. We would have company.

But we also had a basic knowledge of biology and history. Inbreeding among members of one family can lead to birth defects and handicaps in the children. We had no choices, but the joy of children was dampened by the fear for their health.

Rebecca delivered her child, a girl we named Elizabeth Deming after our mother. We all participated in caring for her and gave Rebecca rest from her normal duties. We all loved watching the beauty of a baby nursing at its mother's breast and privately longed to have our own. Sofia was the first to fulfill that longing about 6 months after Elizabeth had been born. She had a son and we named him William after our father.

With Rebecca and Sofia giving birth and nursing their babies, more of Michael's attention turned to me and I soon joined the ranks of expectant mothers. But my pregnancy was difficult and after 6 months I bore a tiny, lifeless body. Like all mothers who have endured this tragedy, I was despondent and found it difficult to enjoy my sisters' children. But the love of my family carried me through the dark days and eventually to a nearly normal life.

Sofia bore another child, a girl we named Sofia, and we settled into the new regimen of parents. We allowed the children free run in the area around the camp and they enjoyed the sand on the beach, the birds in the trees and chasing the tiny lizards through the grass. It was one such chase that changed our world, again.

"Mommy, come see the big tree in the water" cried Elizabeth. Rebecca rose and walked toward her daughter. She'd only gone ten steps when she stopped and screamed. We all jumped up to protect her and all saw it at the same time: a ship, anchored just outside the reef. Its masts and empty rigging did somewhat resemble a bare tree. We had never bothered to post a watch on our isolated island and now dealt with the shock. We all stood dumbfounded as a longboat full of men appeared from behind the ship and began rowing toward us.

"What do we do?" pleaded Sofia. Rebecca was the first to overcome her shock and looked about us. "We had better get dressed" she declared. We all ran back into camp and pulled on our rainy season coverings. Then we proceeded back to the beach to meet our new destiny.

Four large men stepped from the boat as it beached and seemed as shocked as we were. Michael took the initiative and walked forward to meet them. "I am Michael Deming and this is my family. Pray, who are you?"

The oldest man in the group stepped forward and said "I am Dr. Ralph Moore and these men are from the crew of our ship, the HMS Beagle II. We have been following the journey of our mentor, and his diary led us to this island. How long have you lived here?"

In the next few hours both parties learned much about the other. Dr. Moore was a student of a naturalist named Charles Darwin who had traveled around the world collecting plants and animals about 16 years earlier. There were many species that Mr. Darwin had described, but he had not been able to capture examples of all of them for study. Dr. Moore was attempting to fill in the missing pieces of the collection - using wire cages like those left here previously by Mr. Darwin.

Our story amazed them. They were unaware of the Deming family that went missing five years earlier. They were very impressed that four young siblings could have built a stable life on this small island. They were less impressed when they asked about the children. In their world, incest was still an unacceptable sin and not to be tolerated.

We soon got to the most important question. What should we do? They generously offered to take us to Port Moresby on Papua New Guinea, which was their next port of call. We could book further passage from there. They had plenty of room in the hold that would later be filled with flora and fauna from many islands. If we could bring along enough food to support us, they would be happy for our company. They intended to spend a few days on our island collecting samples, so we had time to consider our options.

The decision was the hardest of any we made. We loved our life on the island. There was bountiful food, water and sunshine. Our family was happy and loving and needed no contact with others. The island provided everything we needed -- except a future. We would eventually die and leave our children and grandchildren to a narrow, limited life. In their generation, and those following, the effects of inbreeding would certainly arise. We had no medical resources if we became ill or injured. Our children would never have the opportunity to see the greater world and then decide where they wished to live. Could we deny them the entire world?

We discussed the options that night and, fortunately, all came to the same conclusion: we must leave. It would have been unbearable if one or two wanted to stay and the others to leave. We met the researchers when they returned the following day and politely asked for passage back to civilization. But what should we take with us? Almost all of our possessions were invaluable on the island - and useless anywhere else. We packed a precious few objects, the childrens' toys, our meager clothing and a lifetime of memories and boarded the longboat on the beach.

As we were rowed out to the ship, we all looked back at our home and cried. It was the only world the children had ever known, and the world that the four of us had built for ourselves. The sailors were helpful and generous in letting us board their ship. But the accommodations in the hold were unbearable: dark, rolling, smelling of bilge and soon, our own vomit. The children wailed constantly. Their beautiful, bright, fresh and green home had been exchanged for a terrifying prison cell. During the four week voyage we took them on deck as much as possible, but storms often forced us below.

When we finally arrived in Port Moresby, we saw our first calendar and learned it was February, 1850. We had no money, no contacts and very little memory of how to live among people. Rebecca noticed a church steeple and we followed her to it. We were saved by the church association that had supported our father. With their generosity we found temporary accommodations, a stock of western clothing and two meals every day at the largest church in town. The children struggled to adapt to the strange place and alien beings who lived there. Our very limited diet on the island suddenly expanded, to our great pleasure. We four found it very difficult to relearn the social graces expected of civilized people. It was even harder for the children who had no experience dealing with others and were suspicious and fearful of everyone they met. We often regretted leaving our island, but continued working toward a better future for us and the children.

There were few trans-Pacific ships in those days and we waited five months in Port Moresby before we found available berths going to San Francisco. The church association took up a special collection for us to pay the fare. We thanked them profusely for their live-giving help as we said goodbye on the dock. They had been an excellent sample of the good people in the world and had renewed our faith in mankind -- making our transition a bit easier.

The voyage to San Francisco took six months, with stops in Hong Kong and Hawaii. Fortunately, the ship was built to carry passengers, so was more comfortable than our previous voyages. After the first month, none of us were seasick again. We arrived in San Francisco harbor in March 1851 to find the entire city transformed. The bay was filled with tall ships. The city streets had been vastly expanded and were full of carriages. Every corner echoed with the calls of street vendors and people shouting at each other. We soon learned of the "Gold Rush" that had started in 1849 and was still rushing.

We again sought out the mercy of the local church association and were pleased to find people who had known our parents. They were appalled by the story of their gruesome deaths and overjoyed to learn that their children had survived. They welcomed us and our children with no questions asked. One of them owned a lodging house and generously gave us two rooms. That was a true sacrifice, since miners with pockets full of gold would offer outrageous sums for a room and a bath.

Sofia, who had become pregnant again during the voyage, provided care for all of our children while Rebecca, Michael and I went looking for jobs. None of us had ever held a real job and our jungle survival skills were little appreciated in the bustling city. But the demand for labor in the shipping, mining and construction industries was limitless and we all found positions within two days. To avoid difficult questions, we told people that we had two husbands who were prospecting for gold up in the Sierras.