Confession Ch. 05

I pulled my skirt up and put the bra I had been wearing and my shirt back on. I walked out of the bathroom to find both my kids in the Kitchen. My son was, as usual raiding the fridge and my daughter had emptied her bag all over the kitchen counter looking for something.

"Do you really have to make such a mess?"

"I thought I had my U.S.B. with me. It's got some important information from school on it and I can't find it. I need it tonight."

My son pulled his head out of the fridge for a moment to respond to her before diving back in for more food.

"Why don't you just download it again?"

Oh fuck! I hadn't closed everything down on the computer. I was on the verge of hysteria as my daughter began walking out of the room in the direction of the computer.

"Wait a minute."

I practically yelled. She turned and gave me such a strange look. I never speak like that to my kids. I was moving past her towards the computer as I gave myself a few moments reprieve.

"Go back into the kitchen and clean up the mess you made before you do that."

She rolled her eyes in the way only a teenager can and went back to the kitchen. I dived into the office and hurriedly saved the images to my own folder, praying that nobody ever looked in there. I decided I would have to create more of a hidden file later but I just didn't have time to do that right now. I checked that everything that needed to be closed was and just in time too.

"What's up with you Mum?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well you seem really uptight and cranky."

I felt guiltier about this than I did about any of the other events of the day. I hadn't intended to take it out on the kids but at the same time maybe this was all part of my problem.

"Look I'm sorry Beth, I don't mean to take it out on you but it really does irritate me when I spend all my time making the house nice to live in, do things for you all and run you around when you need it but everybody just takes it all for granted. It's not like there aren't other things I would like to do with my time. Some days it just gets to me."

She had that usual teen reaction. Say you're sorry and move on while rolling your eyes. They might as well say, Stop whining or nagging and leave me alone.

"Okay. Sorry Mum."

She moved past me and sat down at the computer. Both kids had wanted their own laptops since they started high school but we just couldn't justify the expense when they had computers at school and this one at home. I have to admit that this was the first time I had genuinely wished we had or that I had my own laptop.

I certainly never would have approved of that kind of secrecy between husband and wife in the past and I felt a bit guilty at the thought of such secrecy within my own marriage but the thrill was undeniable. Sadly that said more about the state of our marriage than I was prepared to admit to at the time though.

I watched Beth go into her school website while I fussed about in the office, pretending to be doing things in there while trying to make sure Beth doesn't head towards my file. She began working away on her homework and I reluctantly left the room and prayed to whatever god would listen to me that she wouldn't stumble on anything I didn't want her to see.

The rest of the day went by relatively normal although it felt weird that everyone was their normal self while I seemed to have gone through a major paradigm shift. I began to relax as the evening wore on and we went through the normal routine of dinner and T.V. followed by everyone heading off to bed at their leisure. Geoff yawned mightily and stretched then announced that he too was going to bed. I tidied up while he was in the shower then headed to the bedroom myself.

All afternoon I had been a hot, wet mess and when I got to bed I wasn't much better. I tried talking to my husband but he was clearly tired and not up for much of a conversation. I thought maybe I could talk him into a quickie before he fell asleep. I rolled over and began running my fingertips over his chest and stomach while I whispered in his ear.

"How would you like it if I took your cock in my mouth right now?"

This was almost always a sure fire way of getting him going. It had never previously failed to get a rise out of him but to be honest it wasn't something I had felt inclined to do for quite some time. It made me realize the level of neglect we had been showing each other for quite a while. What made it worse was his reaction. He simply rolled over away from me and mumbled.

"Not tonight honey. Too tired."

At first I was pissed off. Too tired! Too tired? Too tired to get a blow job? Is there such a thing? then a great sadness rolled over me. It appeared things were worse than I had thought. Had he been having an affair? I doubted that because there simply was little to no opportunity. He was always at work or home. He never went anywhere or did anything. Maybe he was so used to it not happening that he was just taking care of things himself. If he had masturbated in the shower just before that would explain his lack of interest. Not to sound sexist but guys just don't say no to a blow job do they?

I did my best to go to sleep but every time I relaxed enough to doze off the image of Ben's hard cock, dripping pre-cum would float into my mind. Every time that happened I could feel myself getting more and more antsy. My husband had offered to buy a vibrator for me years ago when we were more adventurous and didn't have kids but I told him that he was all I needed and it never happened. Tonight I desperately wished I hadn't said no. I really needed to be filled.

Eventually I got so frustrated that I knew I was never going to get to sleep unless I took matters into my own hands, so to speak. I quietly got out of bed and went into the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror again, trying to see myself from Ben's point of view. My nipples were pushing hard against my nightie and I reached up, brushing them with my fingertips. I imagined Ben was watching as I squeezed my nipples gently. What would he have said or done if I had done that today? Maybe if I showed him something more he would have stood up and revealed what he was doing beneath the desk.

The thought sent shivers right throughout my body and I responded in my mind with show me yours and I'll show you mine. I slipped my nightie up over my head and dropped it on the floor revealing my almost naked body. I felt self conscious, nervous and incredibly excited all at the same time. Much like walking around naked today, it gave me a real thrill that I didn't know I would experience. In my mind he was standing on the other side of the mirror, standing there stroking his cock just for me and I could see his cock surge with excitement at my naked body. I could see his pre-cum dripping from the end and my pussy was flooding with excitement.

I couldn't wait any longer. I pulled my panties to the side, no time to be wasted on removing them and attacked my clit. My fingers were frenzied as they blurred on my pussy. I paused to push two fingers deep into my core. As I pulled them out they were completely coated in my juices and it made an almost obscene sound as they plunged back in. I repeated this a number of times until my thighs were wet with my cum and my orgasm had built to an incredible high. I continued plunging in and out with one hand and used my other to work my clit again. This time there was no stopping the orgasm as it crashed over me.

It took quite some time to calm down, stop panting like I had run a mile and to release my fingers from my pussy. I had that well used feeling that came from rough sex, not that I could remember the last time that had happened. In fact it was probably not since my teens had I felt that and I knew I would probably be a little tender or sensitive tomorrow.

I cleaned myself up and put my nightie back on and headed back to bed. It must have been the release I needed because I was asleep in minutes and for the first time in as long as I can remember I slept through my husband getting up and going to work.