Confessions along the Internet Ch. 01

They all sat on the couch with a guy feeling her, kissing her skin, and trying to talk to her.

"I just turned to him, unzipped his pants, and sucked his dick. The entire time I was just thinking to myself that I was a whore."

After he came she sucked off another guy. The guy that had been introduced to her as the groom came over to her and started touching her, stroking her ass, then rubbing her asshole.

"I told him that I didn't want to because my ass was sore. He started telling me that he had always fantasized about it and that I was so beautiful and how he loved asian women. He told me that he would give me more money. I finally gave up and told him he needed to use a lot of lube. He tried to rub my clit but I pushed his hands away because I was so sore. He sat in a chair and I took him up my asshole and rode him. It didn't hurt as much as I was afraid it might. I actually pretended that I liked it. I figured if I was going to be a whore I should act like a whore. When he came I smiled at him and told him I hoped it was good. He said it was fantastic. A guy wanted a blowjob. I had a hard time making him come since he had probably already come in me twice or maybe more. He finally came and it wasn't even difficult for me to swallow. My lips were dry, though, and my cheeks and neck hurt."

She said after that her time was almost up. They let her put her clothes back on but she couldn't find her panties. Someone had stolen them. The groom gave her a hundred dollars for a new pair of panties.

"I went back to the shower and rinsed myself a little. I was worried that I would stink. I was really sore. I brushed my hair and fixed my makeup. When I went out there were three guys there. They started asking me if I was okay and telling me how wonderful I was. One of them offered me a ride but I was afraid for him to know where I lived. I turned him down."

"They all were telling me that I was beautiful and sexy. I was thinking what a whore and a slut I was. I actually felt guilty that they made me come. One of them told me I could stay in the room if I wanted but I needed to leave by eleven. They were leaving. The groom left and another guy and I was afraid for a minute that the other guy would stay and I'd be alone with him. It was the guy that helped me to the shower. He offered to walk me to a cab if I wanted. Seriously he was being really sweet. Since then I've wondered if I should have found out if he had money and could have been my sugar daddy, like my friend had done, but right then I was done with men. I wanted to go somewhere and hide. He said he had put my money in my bag for me. That reminded me that I was just a whore. I wanted to leave. I let him walk me to the street and he hailed a cab for me. I was afraid he was trying to hear me tell the cabby my address, but he leaned in the cab and gave the cabby a bill and told him to take me anywhere I wanted. Then he walked away. I saw him in the mirror when he looked back."

The cabby left her at her apartment.

"I went inside and cried. I wanted to take a bath but I was so sore I didn't want the water to touch my pussy. I laid on my bed but didn't like it, so I sat on a kitchen chair and cried and cried. When I sat down my ass hurt. I kept hearing a little voice in my head and it kept saying, "now you're a whore." I drank some beers that I had. I went to bed and slept about twenty minutes but woke up and the voice was telling me I was a whore. I couldn't cry anymore. I took a bath and just let the water sting."

"I hadn't even checked the money. For all I knew it had been stolen like my panties. I hardly slept that night but got up about two o'clock and opened my bag. It was full of money. I could barely stand to look at it. I kept imagining it smelled like come. I counted it, but I wanted to burn it at the same time. The little voice kept telling me if I burned it I could just whore some more and make it back. Every bill I counted I would wonder whether I fucked, gave head, or got butt fucked for it. In the end it was almost five months pay."

I had to ask her what happened after that. I guess it's just me, but I know that no story ever really ends. Life goes on. Even the guy that makes the winning touchdown and gets carried on everyone's shoulders has return to the ground and go to practice for the next game. It's also part of what makes me believe this is a true story. If this had been a guy the ending would have been "then I became a full time whore and I do gangbangs every weekend. Last week I did all of the Oakland Raiders including the coaching staff and all the cheerleaders."

She told me she got a job. She had a hard time because she imagined people looked at her and knew what she did. She was paranoid that she would meet one of the men and it would be embarrassing. But she also told herself she better find a job to pay the bills or she would have to do it again.

"I thought that at first, but it's a little funny. After a while I told myself if I lost my job I could always be a whore. It got where it almost made me laugh."

She took a job with a clinic that gave physical therapy and the woman that owned the clinic arranged her hours so that she could finish her nursing degree.

"It was a little while before I had a boyfriend after that. There were guys, but either I got uncomfortable or I was paranoid that they would somehow know what I had done. Then I was afraid I couldn't get past what I had done. That went away after a while."

"Then there was the AIDS thing that came out just after that. I was really worried because I had anal sex with guys I didn't know. I was embarrassed to get checked out but I took a bus miles from where I lived and had a blood test from a doctor. It was negative. All the rest have been negative, too."

I asked her if she had a boyfriend or was married. She said she had a boyfriend, but that he didn't know about everything that went on before him.

"I don't think I want to tell him. He knows I've had sex. I even told him that I had a lot of sex but it doesn't bother him. It doesn't bother me as much anymore, either. I mean, I had probably had sex with twenty guys before this happened, so it's not like I'm innocent or anything. One day I just happened to think that it was all in the past. I got away with it. I got a lot of money and, yeah, I was really sore for a little while. I didn't catch anything or get pregnant. It's just a memory, now."

I asked her if it hurt her sex life.

"No. Seriously, it did for a few months. I quit calling myself a whore. A lot of women are whores if you think about it. When they fuck their husband for a nice birthday present. My friend with the sugar daddy was definitely a whore. To tell you the truth after a while it made me a little horny when I think about it. I was a porn star for twelve hours."

I was surprised. I asked her if it really made her horny to think about.

"Yeah, seriously. Sometimes when my boyfriend isn't here I think about it and masturbate. It makes me horny to tell you about it."

"It is," I asked her, "really?"

"Yeah," she said. "By the way, what are you wearing?"