Confidence with a Catch

My terrible memories seem to be flung away the second I remember meeting Jeffrey in his office. I remember thinking he was handsome and feeling grateful that he seemed pleasantly surprised to see me. I remember his kind words to me and his gentle nature as he took me and my pain more seriously than even my parents have the past couple years. I once again feel the surge of determination that coursed through me as I signed the waiver to undergo this treatment, followed by the surge of heat I felt when he stroked my hair and gently smiled at me. The final vestiges of my consciousness slip from me and my final thought before surrendering myself to peaceful oblivion is that I want to say thank you...

Chapter 5

Touch was the first sensation to come to me. I felt the cotton of my shirt against my skin, the polyester shorts against my legs. A minor cold sensation runs up the exposed parts of my legs and I remember that I laid down on an operation table. My mind is a blur as I twitch and flex my toes and fingers. I can't seem to remember what exactly happened before I started being able to feel again, but I do remember laying down on a table and feeling nervous.

Wait, was I even nervous? Being set down on a cold table seems like it should be nerve-wracking but nervous doesn't seem like the right word anymore. I feel my lungs inflate with air, almost like I'd been holding my breath and my chest starts tingling the same way your foot does when it falls asleep. More and more of my body comes alive with each passing second, and I try desperately to open my eyes but to no avail.

"Amelia?" I hear a voice say, right before I feel fingers gently touch my face. I'm sure whoever owns that wonderful voice must be talking to me, so Amelia must be my name. Funny though, it doesn't quite...feel right. Maybe it's because most people don't usually call me that? I grimace slightly as I try to remember everything, right before my brain becomes assaulted by lightning. Every single inch of my brain burned as I relived my entire life in extreme fast forward, the pain causing me to scream and jerk upright.

I grabbed my head, feeling the heat coming off of it, and squeezed tightly in a desperate attempt to alleviate the pain. The voice that spoke my name earlier kept calling out to me but I couldn't understanding anything through the fire burning through my mind. The memories flood through quickly and I'm relieving everything I could ever possibly remember at a speed that would break any VCR on the planet.

It started all the way from the beginning, when I was a little girl and rocketed forward. Through the hilarious baby and kid years, through my awkward teen years and then it stopped right at the most terrible moment of my life. Once again, I was surrounded by Jason and his friends. They were bragging about all the terrible things they were going to do to me and I couldn't stop crying. They were hurting me and then the gunshot went off. I saw Jeffrey standing there, telling them to leave me alone before the memories fast forwarded again.

Everything finally caught up to when I laid down on the table, wanting to thank Jeffrey for helping her and I shot immediately upright. Unfortunately, this caused me to head butt Jeffrey and we both yelped in pain, holding our heads and hissing our pain away before I finally caught his eyes. He looked down on me with concern, piercing my very soul with those blue orbs and warmth shot through my body like a rapid lava flow.

"Are you okay Amelia?" he asked me. I shuddered a bit at the sound of his voice, and the concern in his eyes grew. "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. I didn't mean to scare you." I looked at him, face wracked in undeserved guilt and reached out to him without thinking. He looked at me with surprise when my hand cupped his cheek and even more so when I smiled up at him.

"My head hurts a little right now. How about yours?" I ask him playfully, beaming gently at him. Several moments pass with him just looking at me stunned before he finally breaks. He begins chuckling at me and his face slowly brightens into a smile that melts me in his hands.

"I'm fine." he says to me, "This is the kind of nothing boo-boo my mom used to kiss and make better." An idea shoots through my head as he says that and I chuckle as I grab his other cheek and gently pull his face on towards me. I kiss the spot on his head I butted him and pull back to see the priceless look on his face.

"You should see your face right now. You're adorable." I tell him. The warmth that filled me earlier grows more intense as I see him staring at me and the thought of having his undivided attention sparks something in me I don't quite recognize.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?" he asks me. I can see in his face that I've acted completely outside of anything he could have possibly predicted and a little surge of joy flows through me. "I'm a little worried about possible memory loss. Is there anything that sticks out in your head as a gap?"

"No Jeffrey." I say, shaking my head without ever breaking my eye contact with him. "I didn't remember anything before my eyes opened, but my memories came flooding back to me. It was like watching a movie in fast-forward." I say to him pausing to lean forward slightly and bring his face closer to mine. "Except for one part..."

"I suppose that part is the bad experience with Jason." he says, sighing sadly. "I'm sorry. I really thought we'd be able to help you, but it really was too much to try and overcome that through force."

"No." I say to him, my smile leaving my face. "It was terrible. But I realized something important when I had to relive it again. Something I should have figured out years ago."

"What?" he asks, looking a bit shocked at my words. "I know this is selfish of me to ask, but please tell me it's a revelation that's going to help you." he says to me, pausing and looking away with shame on his face. "I've let you down enough." My heart breaks seeing the look on his face, but I take a deep breath and gently move his face so that he's looking me in the eyes again. I see confusion in his eyes as I slowly break out into a smile.

"I figured out that I dated the wrong guy in high school." I say quietly and confidently to him. I don't even give him time to react to what I just said before I gently pulled our faces together and kissed his lips. His beard is surprisingly soft pressed against my skin, but I find myself wishing he would stop tensing up and just kiss me back already. When several moments pass without him reciprocating, I finally give up and separate from him.

"Amelia..." he says to me, dumbstruck. "You...this can't be right. I must have fucked something up." Jeffrey tries to get up but I hold him to me and force him to keep looking into my eyes.

"No." I say gently to him. "I think it worked. I went through everything again but...it was like watching a movie. Experiencing it all from that point of view...well, it made certain things obvious to me that I should have realized years ago. Things about Jason, about myself..." I look into his eyes, bringing my face inches from his, "And about you. I'd never really thought about it before, but you did things very oddly for someone in your position."

"W-w-what..." he stutters, looking like a kid who just got caught stealing from the cookie jar. "What are you possibly talking about? You were in trouble, I had to help you. How was that odd?" he asks me. I smile and shake my head at him before pressing our foreheads together.

"You heard about what was going to happen. I'm guessing after Jason had gotten drunk and kidnapped me, so you couldn't do anything to prevent me from being taken. Yet afterwards, when you knew it was going to happen you didn't call the police or a parent or teacher. You came yourself, driving sober when everyone else was drunk. You probably thought you could talk them out of hurting me until it was all about to happen. You tried to stop the worst from happening, then when it was about to happen anyway you jumped in and fired the gun." I say to him, pulling away from him slightly so I can look into his eyes.

"It shouldn't have happened in the first place, but...I thought it was just the guys being stupid. That once they saw how far things had gone that decency would kick in and we'd all apologize and try to move on. I didn't want to have to go to the police. Their lives were destroyed, but one stupid, drunken act driven by jealousy and lust. I know justice was done but...they were my friends. I wanted to believe the best of them." he says to me, tears in his eyes. "I should have stopped it sooner. I'm sorry."

"No." I say firmly to him. "You more than live up to your name Jeffrey Goodman. You honestly thought you could do things in a way that would cause the least amount of harm, and when you realized that wasn't possible, you didn't hesitate to continue to do the right thing. You were even punished for doing the right thing and yet, here you are. Still helping however you can." I gently stroke his cheek as tears fall down it and wipe his eyes with my other hand. Once his eyes are dry, I lean forward and kiss him again.

This time, he kisses me back and I taste him fully. His beard lightly rakes against my skin, causing a wonderful tingling on my face that almost tickles me. I smile onto his lips as we kiss and wrap my arms around his neck, gently dragging him closer to me. His weight presses down on me wonderfully as he joins me on the table and I start feeling giddy until the table starts to creak under both of our weights. The stupid creaking snaps him out of the lovely daze I had him under and he pulls away from me with this adorable blush on his face.

"Sorry." he says to me, getting off of me and back onto his feet despite my efforts to stop him. I huff, pouting a little as I roll myself off the table as well. "That was completely unprofessional of me and I apologize Amelia..."

"Amy." I say, cutting him off. He looks at me completely bewildered as I stand up and stretch myself out. "You call me Amy from now on Jeffrey."

"Erm... Okay, Amy." he says, still having that dumb look plastered on his face. I'm trying to be upset with him but he's making it difficult by being so damn cute. I smile in spite of how annoyed I am that our wonderful moment was just ruined by a fucking table. "Are you sure you're okay? I know the experience must have been intense..."

"I'm fine Jeffrey. In fact, I feel wonderful compared to how I felt even just earlier today." I say, strutting towards him while I swayed my hips.

"But what about..?" He says, and I cut him off again by putting a finger gently to his lips.

"It's a very bad memory." I tell him honestly, "And if I saw Jason in person again I might be flooded with fear and anxiety. But for now..." I say, drawing closer to him slowly, "It's not the constant, living nightmare it used to be. It's just a memory, terrible as it is. I can grow now, truly live now, thanks to you." I say, giving him another kiss. That magic I'd had him under a moment ago didn't return and he pulled away from my kiss this time. I sigh in frustration and shoot him an annoyed look. "I'm going to need you to stop pulling away from me Jeffrey, or giving you my thanks is going to be very frustrating."

Chapter 6

Jeffrey blinked several times, staring at me with his mouth ajar and I just roll my eyes in response. I can't believe how dense he's being right now, but considering how much better I feel right now it's impossible for me to really remain upset at all. I flash him the sexiest smile I can think to muster and wrap my arms around him slowly. A part of me worries that he's going to try and pull away from me again, but thankfully he doesn't. Unfortunately, his expression doesn't exactly strike me as someone ready to give into passion.

"Amy..." he says to me, looking at me with a serious look in his eyes. "You don't have to thank me for anything. I didn't do this because I wanted you to feel like you owe me anything. I wanted to help you to make up for my past sins. Sins that wronged you more than any other person I know has ever been wronged." He says to me, his face turned away in guilt.

"We've already talked about this Jeffrey. You already told me everything that was going through your head and why you acted the way you did." I say to him, keeping my arms around him so he can't run away again. "I'm not doing this just to thank you, you know. I've been thinking about how god damned attractive you've become since I first saw you in that office. Now, it seems to be all I can think about. So please, for the love of God just kiss me back." I lean in and kiss him again when I've finished speaking. A few moments pass where I worry that he's going to push me away again, but he pleasantly surprises me by wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing himself into our kiss. His beard causes the most pleasant tickling sensation on my face and I find myself smiling warmly.

I trace my hands sensually up his back, working them into his hair that I start to give a firm tug as I push my tongue into his mouth. I had forgotten how much fun I had kissing before now and it was a pleasant surprise to see how naturally it came back to me. His own hands explored my body in turn and I gave a small, surprised squeak when I felt his hands squeeze my ass. When I squeaked, he immediately broke our kiss and looked at me with panic and a small amount of guilt.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry Amy." he says to me in a flustered panic. "I just..I wasn't thinking and.." I cut him off by laughing hard at how adorable he's being right now, letting go of his hair and placing a finger over his lips. I wait for my laughter to die down a bit so that I can actually get out a full sentence without breaking down into hysteria again.

"No, no. No apologizing. I certainly wasn't expecting you to do that but it was far from unwelcome Jeffrey." I say to him, kissing him again briefly before continuing. "Honestly, I just wanted to make out for a bit and then I was going to ask you to go out with me. Maybe dinner and a movie and see if we want to keep going from there." Jeffrey blushes at my confession and I have to resist the urge to laugh at his cute expression again.

"Oh. Um..I would absolutely love that Amy." he says to me, smiling softly. "I'm glad you're not upset over my little.." he pauses to clear his throat nervously, "misunderstanding."

"Oh no, I'm certainly not upset." I say to him, smiling devilishly as a wave of confidence rolls into me like tidal wave. "Of course now that I know you find me sexy enough to squeeze, I simply have no choice but to fuck you and break this years-long dry spell earlier than I had planned to." I whisper into his ear in a sultry tone as I reach down behind him and give his own ass a squeeze. His entire face turns red as a tomato and he starts stuttering incoherently. I finally give in to his reactions and laugh once again until I'm as red in the face as he is and tears are streaming down my face.

"Amelia, please tell me you're joking. This sort of thing is hardly appropriate." he says to me. I pinch his face in response, irritated at his use of my old name, before answering him.

"I told you, you call me Amy now." I say, nearly growling at him. "And I suppose it's true that it's not really appropriate for a psychologist and their patient to fuck, but then again it's really not appropriate to heal me by rewiring my brain, or hold onto regrets unjustly for over a decade....or kiss me as well as you did." I finish, pressing my lips to his once again for several moments just to taste him before I continue. "But it doesn't matter if it's appropriate, because every fiber of my being is telling me it's the right thing to do."

He stares at me, not answering at the moment but I can see the gears turning behind his eyes and it's far too easy to tell that he's torn between what's professionally correct to do and what I can tell we both want. I stand there with him, wrapped in his arms just as much as he's wrapped in mine, and debate how to give him that last little push that he needs. Do I encourage him with kind words, mixing in a sexy whisper here and there? Maybe I should just forgo words entirely and stick my hands down his shirt or pants to tempt his bare flesh with a taste of mine.

"Jeffrey," I say to him, deciding the former option would probably be best given his uncertainty, "I have spent what should have been the best years of my life not doing things. I didn't make friends, I didn't take risks, and I certainly didn't try to date again. The fear stopped me doing those things. Stopped me from living my life." I pause, reaching down and putting his hands softly in mine. "But thanks to you, the fear doesn't control me anymore. I've missed out on so much time. Please...take this chance with me. So we can both move on from that night and truly live again."

He says nothing to me and I feel my heart break, thinking that he's decided that it would be better to just stop and go our separate ways from here. I turn my head away from him, fighting back tears as I feel him pull his hands from mine. Just as I'm about to tear away and run far away to cry in peace, I feel his hands gently grab my face. He turns me towards him and for the first time, he kisses me. Tears of joy flow softly from my eyes and are quickly wiped away by his hands as I press myself into him. I can feel an erection building in those slacks of his as we kiss, our tongues dancing together and I rub my hand ever-so-gently against it just to feel it twitch.

I giggle against his lips as I feel his whole body lightly twitch and shiver at my touch. I keep running my hand lightly over the bulge in his slacks, feeling it press harder and harder against them until he finally grabs my hand away and breaks our kiss. I half-expect him to change his mind and tell me to leave, but the lusty look in his eyes and the panting convince me that there's no chance he has and I smile at him.

"Amy," he says to me, his breath warm against me, "if I need to stop, you tell me to stop. I need you to promise me that before we go any farther. I will not allow today to turn into another terrible memory for you." My breath stops for a moment, shocked and touched by his thought and care for me even now in the throes of passion.

"I promise Jeffrey." I say, placing my head against his chest with a sigh. "God I wish I would have dated you instead." I say contentedly to him after sighing, "But you can't change the past. I suppose our only choice now is to make up for lost time." I take his hand and press it firmly against my breast, letting him both cop a feel and feel how hard my heart is pounding for him right now. "Now... I've made my promise, so now you have to promise that when I say 'more' or 'harder' that you listen to that as well. Okay?" I ask, looking back into his eyes with a sensual smirk.

"I promise." he says with a chuckle, smiling warmly at me before kissing me and squeezing my breast firmly. I gasp softly into his lips, far more sensitive to his touch than I expected to be and I feel my nipples harden, pressing against the fabric of my bra. He pulls away from me for a moment, looking at me with concern like he'd done something wrong so I just smile at him and put his other hand on my other breast. He takes the hint and gives me another good squeeze, making me moan softly with my mouth closed. I lean up and kiss him again while he starts to firmly massage my breasts.