Conflicted First Time Cock Sucker Ch. 03

"I said," there was a look in his eyes that terrified me as he spoke – my father had the same look when he was angry – "if you leave like this, then the next time won't be as..."

I'd shut the door and started the engine and couldn't make out exactly what he said, but I think he said "gentle." The next time won't be gentle because he's pissed at me? Fuck him, there's not going to be a next time, and out of anger on my part, I flipped him off as I backed out and drove away. Then I noticed my hands were shaking; yes, they were shaking in anticipation of the next time.

After driving for a while it struck me (you've sucked his cock again) what I'd done and I felt like shit; why did I do it again? Sucking cock was something you did if you were "gay;" I'm not gay (you sucked a guys cock twice) and it was hard to shake the shame I felt (Barbara's expecting you) and I knew that Barbara would wonder what took me so long; I had called her just before I'd left my apartment and told her I was on my way (yeah, then you stopped in for some cock and cum).

This is something I'd never imagined myself doing – letting a guy feed me his cock – and I knew I wasn't turned on by this him – it was just something in the moment – because I'm straight and I love women; not men (keep telling yourself that). Why had I let this guy do this to me twice and not fought him off? He was an asshole that just wanted to use me to get off and I knew this; yet I still let him use me twice and there was something about it that scared the hell out of me (did you like it?); I assured myself that I didn't like it and it wasn't going to happen again.

Barbara answered the door and threw her arms around my neck – I'd never been happier to see her – kissing me on the mouth. Her kiss was long and deep and our tongues mingled (that tongue was licking a cock an hour ago) as her hand softly stroked my cheek. This was what I wanted and needed.

"What took you so long?" She said as our embrace finally ended.

"What do you mean?" I wasn't ready to answer that question.

"You called me over two hours ago and said you were on your way." We walked into the front room and sat on the couch.

"Sorry, my dad stopped by and you know how he can be." There wasn't any way I could tell her the truth; so I lied.

"God, Paul," she had tears in her eyes, "I love you so much, but sometimes the way you act makes me think you're seeing someone else."

"Sweetheart," She turned away as I spoke, "I'm not having sex with anyone else." It may have been another lie, but it was also the truth; to me.

Yeah, I'd sucked a guys cock twice in less than a week, (you didn't do it willingly) but in my mind I was forced. Yes, I guess maybe I was, after all, I wasn't looking for cock and this guy had gained some kind of control over me (that's over with) but there wasn't any way I was going to let him take advantage of me again; still, I couldn't explain this to Barbara.

"You better not let anyone else touch that beautiful cock of yours," she was sitting next to me on the couch with her hand rubbing my leg, "I love you too much for that to happen, you know?"

Fifteen minutes later she was taking my cock into her mouth and the stress of the morning was making it hard for me to sustain an erection (yes, I'd call it stress too) – Barbara complained and said it was further proof I was involved with someone else (yes, I'm involved) – to my horror, the only way I was able to get hard – and I mean really hard – was to think of being on my knees with that fuckers cock in my mouth (god, this is really fucking me up) and after I exploded in her mouth with the help of those thoughts, I swore to myself I'd never have anything to do with him or his cock again (keep telling yourself that).

It was 11:30 that night when I got back to the apartment complex and was glad to see that my neighbor's light was out; I didn't want to deal with him giving me shit – I hoped. As I got to my front door, the door to the apartment right next to mine opened and the guy that lived next door – who I'd seen around the complex, but never talked to – came out; locking his door behind him. He looked over at me and smiled.

"Hey, how you doing?" He asked.

"Good thanks; and you?" I said as I slipped my key into the lock of my door.

"I'm good," he started, "and I wish I had time to hang out, but I've got to meet a friend downtown."

"Yeah?" Why would he even mention anything about hanging out?

"Yeah," he said as he walked out to his car, "another time though." He yelled over his shoulder.

When I got inside my apartment, I couldn't help but wonder what he was talking about; hang out? Did he know something about me or was it just me being paranoid? (What could he know?) I shook the thought from my head and went to the fridge to make a sandwich.

Later, after watching TV for a few hours – and falling asleep on the couch with the TV still on – I heard a knock on the door. It took me a few seconds to realize where I was – another knock – and I could see the clock in the kitchen; 3:15 in the morning? (Who's knocking on my door this early in the morning?). Then I thought about my neighbor from across the complex (the one that likes to feed you his cock) and I panicked a little – another knock – (just see who it is, but if it's him, don't open that door).

After getting to my feet, shaking the drowsiness from my head, I looked through the peephole in my door. It was my neighbor that lived right next to me standing there with another guy (what the fuck does he want).

"You think he's still up." I heard one of them say just before I opened the door.

My next door neighbor got a big grin on his face as soon as I opened the door and he was holding what looked like an unlit cigarette in his hand. They were both older; my neighbor looked to be around thirty-five and his friend even a little older than him – maybe early forties.

"Hey man," it was my neighbor, "didn't mean to wake you, but I saw your light was on and thought maybe you'd want to help us smoke this joint." He held up what I had first thought was a cigarette.

"Oh, no...I mean," I was still trying to adjust to waking up, "no...no...I was watching TV and dosed off."

"Well, I know you don't know me or," he pointed to the guy he was with, "my friend, but I'm Mark and this is Brad."

"He looks too young." His friend said.

"No, he just looks young, but he's eighteen," he motioned at me, "isn't that right?"

"Yeah, I'm eighteen, but I've smoked joints before." I said.

"That's what I was hoping you'd say." He laughed and then extended his hand to shake, "Again, I'm Mark."

"I'm Paul." I said, shaking his hand.

"What ya say?" He held out the joint again, "You want to get high?"

"Oh, yeah," I stepped aside so they could enter, "sure, why not?" (Hang out) I made a nervous laugh as they walked into the front room.

Brad sat on the left side of my couch and I sat on the right; Mark sat in the easy chair a few feet away from me. Mark lit the joint and took a deep drag before he passed it to me and I took a deep drag and passed it over to Brad. After a few minutes of passing the joint back and forth – it'd been a while since I've smoked some pot – I felt the effects kick in (damn, that's good pot) and I was stoned.

"Hey, I'm going to use your restroom." Mark said getting up and heading down the hallway.

"Sure." Was all I could manage.

(Damn, I'm so high) Brad and I sat in silence for a few minutes and then he scooted over to the center of the couch, just inches away from me, and placed his hand on my leg. (What the hell is he doing?) I reached down and pushed his hand off.

"I heard that you like to play hard to get." He laughed.

He put his hand back on my leg and rubbed it gently (fuck, what does he mean I play hard to get) and I tried to push his hand off again, but he resisted and his hand stayed on my leg. He didn't say anything and I was so stoned, that I didn't think I could get up (he's rubbing your leg) as he slowly ran his hand across the top of my leg (don't get hard) and I could feel my cock stirring in my pants; I heard the bathroom door open and Mark was coming back down the hallway to the front room (good, Mark will make him stop).

As Mark walked into the front room, I looked over at him with what I'm sure was a look of desperation, but then I saw that Mark (he's fucking naked) had entered wearing no clothes. Brad was rubbing my crotch now as Mark walked over and stood in front of me (he's stroking himself) and I tried to get up but I was really stoned and it didn't take much effort on Brad's part to hold me down on the couch.

"Hey man, what's the matter?" Mark had a wicked grin on his face, "Didn't you say you wanted to smoke a joint? "

Where had I heard that? It was something from the back of my mind; (something like "Weren't we going to smoke a joint?" No, no it was," I thought we were going to smoke a joint" and then someone says, "what do you think you just did.") What does it mean? It was so well-known in my thoughts, but I couldn't place it.

"I...what...we did smoke a joint" I said as Brad held me down.

"No, we just got high on some pot, but I asked you if you'd like to smoke a joint...didn't you say you've smoked joints before?" His words were just playing with me.

"Well, I didn't understand it to mean anything other than smoking some pot, so as far as I concerned that's what I did; smoke a joint." I said this knowing that even if I had a valid argument, I still didn't have a valid argument with him.

"Well, here's what your neighbor told us about you." (He's talked to your neighbor; the one that likes to feed you his dick) He's was still stroking as he talked, "He said all we have to do is mention to smoke a joint and you'd show us how eager you are to suck our cocks; so we actually bring you some pot to share with us, we're also willing to share our two joints with you too." Mark's voice was sarcastic and Brad laughed.

"Yeah, but...I...think .... no....I...that doesn't mean..." Mark cut me off.

"Well, I guess we heard it wrong from your neighbor across the way," Mark was still stroking his cock as he spoke, "that you love to suck cock."

"No...I...I don't..." Brad was back to rubbing my cock through my pants.

"Did he lie to us?" Mark continued to stroking himself as he talked, "He said you'd sucked him off twice."

"I...no...I mean..." I was trying to get my head around what was going on, but I was so high.

"You didn't suck him off?" This time it was Brad.

"I...I..." I could feel my cock throbbing in my pants as Brad continued to rub over it and being high actually made what he was doing feel good, "...I did...but...."

"Then you can do us too." Mark moved until he was standing right in front of me on the couch, "Come on man, I heard you give great head."

"No, I can't...do..." I started.

"Yeah, I heard you'd be like this," Brad got off the couch as Mark spoke, "but I also heard that you will give in."

(Fuck, not again, I can't do this again) Brad kicked off his shoes and started to unbutton his pants as Mark stood right in front of me. (This can't be happening; I'm too high to deal with this right now) Brad's pants were around his ankles (look at that bulge in his underwear) and I could see the outline of a big dick in his shorts as he kicked his pants aside. (He's taking his underwear down) then he was pulling his shorts off; I saw his dick spring out and slap against his stomach and then he stood up with his dick sticking straight out (Mark's dick is longer than the guy you sucked, but Brad has a smaller dick) and Brad's dick may have been smaller but I noticed that it was really fat (you can't get that into your mouth) as he unbuttoned his shirt.

Brad threw his shirt behind him – stroking his cock with his other hand – and then they were standing on either side of me. They didn't say anything at first; just kept stroking their rock hard dicks as they kept them pointed at my face (oh god, I can't do this) and my heart raced. (They're not going to let you go without getting them off) the thought of having either of these dicks in my mouth made my heart pound and I wished there was something I could do to make this stop (you could tell them to fuck off) but they weren't going to stop until they got what they wanted.

"Come on now," it was Brad and his voice was heavy as he continued to stroke, "you know you want to, baby."

"No, I...I don't." Mark reached over and grabbed me by the back of my neck as I spoke and pulled me forward until my face was about an inch from his cock, "No...please don't...do...this." His laugh made me realize that he didn't care if I protested or not; he was going to make me suck him off.

Brad reached over and also grabbed the back of my neck and brought his cock right up to my lips. (No...no) I tried to pull away, but they were both holding me and I wasn't strong enough (Mark's got his hand around your throat now) and they both rubbed their dicks on my lips as they continued to hold me; Brad's grip was strong – now on the back of my head – while Mark was choking me with his hand tight around my neck.

"Come on and open that sweet mouth we heard so much about." Mark said as they both held their hard cocks against my lips (precum is oozing onto your lips); I wasn't even sure whose dick was leaking it (both of them).

"Um um." I kept my lips shut as I responded.

"Come on man," it was Brad this time, "you want these hard dicks and you know it."

(Don't do it) I couldn't help but stick my tongue out a little and lick off some of the precum from my lips (fuck, what the hell are you doing) and my tongue brushed against the tip of one of their dicks. (Don't you do it) and they continued to rub – actually push – against my lips (Mark's dick just parted them) and Mark's cock pushed so hard that my lips spread open, but I kept my teeth clenched.

"Open wide," Mark released the hold on my neck and placed his hand on the back of my head and Brad let go, "I have something for you to taste."

Mark's dick went in first (fuck, fight these pricks) as I was too high to fight them off anymore. He let out a loud moan as I let him slide his cock into my mouth (Brad's rubbing his cockhead against your cheek) and I was glad that he wasn't as fat as the first cock I sucked (he is longer) as his cock slowly glided into my wet mouth (but Brad is fatter than the first dick you sucked) and I knew I'd eventually have to deal with Brad's fat cock.

"Oh yes, that's it boy," he grunted as he spoke, "go on and suck that cock, you fucking cocksucker." His voice exploded out of his mouth and his breathing was heavy.

"Yeah, he looks so fuckin' young with your cock in his mouth." Brad laughed, "Give him all of your cock... I can wait." He laughed again.

(Oh god, I can't do this...I can't suck both of them) Mark was still holding the back of my head – now with both hands as he pushed Brad to the side–his dick slowly inched into my mouth as he thrust his hips forward and then back out (you're getting your mouth fucked again) then back in with a lot of force (you're going to eat more cum) he grunted as he fucked my mouth and I breathed heavy out of my nose; as I had done sucking cock twice before.

"You can't tell me this is only his third time sucking cock." Brad laughed, "He knows what he's doing."

"Fuck...yeah...he does...fuck...yeah." With each word Mark spoke, he shoved his dick hard into my mouth; as if to emphasize a point (the point being that you give good head).

"Yeah, fuck that pricks mouth." Brad said and Mark did just that.

(He's giving me too much cock) he pushed more into me, but he still wasn't all the way in my mouth (I can't take anymore, he's already going into my throat) and I knew I wasn't going to last long if I couldn't come up for air. I could actually feel the tip of his dick in my throat and thought I was going to gag if he pushed in anymore, and just when I thought I couldn't take it, he pulled all the way out of my mouth (oh...fuck...air) and his dick's head was right in front of me and I gazed at it dangling there and it was beautiful – I'd never really looked at a cock up close (it's just a dick) – and it felt almost hypnotic (you're fuckin' stoned).

"Your turn." Mark said to Brad.

As Brad moved over in front of me, I dropped to my knees – which always seemed to be the best position in the past for sucking cock. Brad grabbed my head with one hand and positioned his fat – not nearly as long – cock at my opened mouth and I felt my jaw stretched wide as his dickhead pushed in hard. (Fuck, he's too fat) my mouth was open as much as I could get it and saliva was spilling out of the corners and running down to my chin.

"Yeah," Mark laughed now, "give him some dick, why don't you." He laughed again as Brad pushed more of his cock into my mouth.

(Goddamn, I don't think it'll fit) Brad grunted as he thrust his hips forward and it felt like his fat dickhead was going to rip my face open and then it just popped inside my mouth and he was in (god, his head is filling my mouth) and he was fucking my face with his dick in and out with so much force I grabbed his hips and held on for dear life. His cock felt so large and I didn't know how I was able to take it all (you're taking it all) as he pushed it against the inside of my cheek; my cheek pushed out every time his dick plunged in my mouth.

"That's it, fuck that bitch's mouth." Mark's voice actually scared me as he spoke. "Your cum may give me enough lube to get my whole cock down his throat." They both laughed at that.

(Oh god, I can't take anymore of this) I couldn't believe how hard Brad was fucking my face and I had to wrap my arms around his waist to steady myself; his cock was now pushing all the way in and I could feel his big balls slapping my chin (he's breathing so heavy) as my face was now being slammed into his bush.

"Fuck him hard, I'm going to call Mac." Mark walked over to my phone as he spoke.

(Who the fuck is Mac) there was no way I could take a third dick (he's grunting so loud) but there wasn't any way I thought I could take these guys either; and yet here I was with this fucker pounding his cock into my mouth. I could hear Mark on the phone behind Brad (who the fuck is he calling) and Brad just kept pushing more of his cock into my throat.

"Yeah, Brad's giving him a good face fucking right now," I heard Mark say on the phone, "yeah...yeah, he does suck good. I've already had some, but I haven't emptied my load yet, so if you want to see this, you'd better get over here."

(Who the fuck is Mac) I knew Brad was getting close by the way he was breathing and although I didn't want this, I couldn't help but feel turned on (what the fuck is the matter with me) but the thought of eating his cum scared the hell out of me (you've done it before, I guess you can do it again).

"You getting ready to cum?" it was Mark standing on Brad's left.

"Ummm." Was all Brad said as I heard a knock at the door.

"There's Mac." Mark said walking to the door.

(Who the fuck is Mac) Brad was now back to long slow strokes and I was able to move my hands back to his hip; my right hand reached for his balls and started to rub them (what the fuck are you thinking, he's going to cum in your mouth) and I heard him moan as I gently stroke his big ball sac.

"Yep, he does love it." It was a new but familiar sounding voice.

"Fuck...I can't last...much...longer." Brad was moving his cock back and forth in my mouth as he spoke.

(God, he's going to cum) his balls tensed in my hand and he let out a loud moan as he stopped fucking my mouth and held my head right on his dickhead. He pumped so much juice into my mouth that it just flowed back out and over his dick and down onto his balls; immediately followed by even more cum being pumped out (I can't eat it all). There was so much cum I was having trouble swallowing it all (he's grunting every time he pumps his cum in me); but I did swallow as much as I could.