Consequences of Chrissie's New Love

"One last thing, Ron," Ann said as she pulled out the second piece of paper. "This is Chrissie's answer to the question about changing one thing. She wrote that if she could change one thing, it would be that she never met Bruce Hartman."

The divorce went through, and as per the agreement, Chrissie and I split time living at the house. At first, it was very formal and awkward. But then we started sharing a meal or two together with the kids. And then one evening, Chrissie asked me if I wanted to stay the night.

"No," I answered with a chuckle, "the bed in the spare room isn't all that comfortable. I'll just go back to my apartment."

"That's not what I mean," she said with a shy smile. "I want you to sleep in the bed with me."

That was a stunner. But being a man, I wasn't about to pass up on a chance to have sex. I don't know what Chrissie had been doing for sex since Bruce left, but I had entertained several lady friends at my apartment. I wasn't serious about any of them, but the benefits were great.

I wish I could say that after that night, we went back to being a happily married couple, but that didn't happen. Oh, I'm happy, but we didn't get remarried. I do spend more time at the house, and almost all of those visits are overnight.

Little by little, Chrissie was able to restore a loving relationship with her children. Or I should say that she restored a loving relationship with Sally and Kyle. No matter what Chrissie did, there always seemed to be a distance between her and Ron-Ron. I would have thought that Sally would be the one to hold a grudge but she was the first to fully embrace the return of her mother.

Chrissie finally mended her fences with her parents. However, like Ron-Ron, there was a slight coolness with her father. Anyway, most Sunday's we would have dinner there like a family, but we weren't. Chrissie kept telling me how sorry she was for everything that had happened. I finally told her to please stop, that I had forgiven her. However, I also told her that I could never forget what happened.

One time, Chrissie did ask me if we could get married again. I told her that I just wanted to keep things as they were and that we'd see. In truth, I don't think we will ever get married again, and I'm sad about that. I just wish Chrissie had thought about the consequences of what she was doing. But then maybe she wasn't capable of that. I guess it doesn't matter now.

Before all of this happened, I used to think I had most of the answers, but now I don't think I even know what the questions any more. Still, even though I don't believe we will ever get remarried, I have learned one thing - never say never.

The question of the paternity that was raised in this story is something that comes up all too often when a mother has actively engaged in one or more affairs. It is something each husband should be concerned about. The courts in recent years have ruled that the father only has a limited time to challenge the paternity of the children that are supposed to be his. You read more and more stories about husbands finding out years after the fact that the children they thought were theirs are, in fact, not. To their credit, the vast majority of these fathers have chosen to continue supporting and loving those kids even though they aren't their flesh and blood. But what about the father who finds out that the kids he has been supporting aren't his? Suppose he doesn't want to keep paying for them because those kids are horrible people -- maybe poisoned by their mother. After a limited amount of time, the courts tell the father, "Too bad, you have to continue to pay for them." That is just plain wrong. The wife is the guilty party, and she is being rewarded. In contrast, the husband, who is the innocent party, is being punished. Yes, I know that women are going to go ballistic and to say that it would be unfair to the children. But to those who would say that, I maintain that they are wrong, and I explain below.

There is a solution to this injustice. First of all, these laws need to be changed. Husbands in cases like this need to be protected. At the same time, the children in these cases need to be protected. If the husband doesn't want to pay for kids that aren't his, then he shouldn't have to. If the wife is unable to provide for these kids, then it is the State's responsibility to do so.

However, to avoid this situation altogether, DNA testing should be mandatory for all new children. Not only will this confirm that the man is the biological father, but it will also alert the parents to many potential medical problems that that child might face in the future. As of right now, there is no such law. Therefore, it is incumbent on each new father to have a DNA test done every time their wife gives birth to another child.