All Comments on 'Consequences Pt. 01: Marilyn'

by Lancerlott

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5 Comments

Robingreen678 over 4 years ago

love the ending

I’ll bet I can guess what will happen to Rachael. Can you spell threesome?

Well done my friend. Well done !

Anonymousover 4 years ago

Hope you continue this. Great start.

maneater82 over 4 years ago

Nicely written. I look forward to reading the next chapter... The 2 older women seducing the younger one?

Anonymousover 4 years ago

Thank you!

It's not often we see older women featured in stories like this. I do think you could benefit from a more thorough proofreading; there were a few typos and grammar errors that took me out of the moment. And I'm not a fan of the phrase "tit flesh", lol. But overall, great! Keep writing! :)

technowhimsey almost 3 years ago

Excellent writing. Logical plot, tight action, highly exotic and believable, Bravo,

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