All Comments on 'Consequencies'

Consequences is such an overused title on this site, and spelling it wrong for no reason other than lack of proofreading is just annoying. Keep writing, as the story itself is not bad.

Wow this was terrible, the writing, the characters, the plot and most of all the story telling. It is a wonder the two kids in the story are still alive but at least they did not have to read this story.

true story i have seen happen

Thanks for sharing.

Keep your characters straight. Jane?Sally?

I would have liked for you to have had him, at some point, tell her that his drinking started when her dalliance, not coming home, inddifference to him and then hearing her co-actors talk about her being a whore and a slut with the producer.

You let her totally demean him, drive him further down and yes, he had alcohic tendancies and so you let him take all the fault. I didn't care for that. In the end, I had hoped when he confronted her and Julian that he would have admonished her and told her what a slut he knew she had become. Wouldn't have solved anything but it would have been the right thing to do. I'm sure in the real world, he would have straightened her out.

Anyway, pretty good story - Thanks!!!

and they both came up thru the sewage reborn. TK U MLJ LV NV

but I'm glad I finished it. It was definitely worth the time. Thanks for the story.

Jane-Sally-June, which exactly is the daughter? You really need to make your mind up about that one, as she was called all three names.

A decent read, I would have appreciated more sordid but steamy action. The underdog story was compelling though & ' the good guy ' was ultimately rewarded. Alison's character was a bit one-dimensional but as said before, the story was a fair read. Thank you .

Pip! Pip! Jolly Well Said! No Willy the Wimps here!

The husband was not a saint. He made mistakes, but finally straightened his life out. He was beyond pathetic while married to whatever her name was. He was a believable alcoholic character in that regard. He knew the wife was screwing around and he did nothing. The bad, really bad, is lack of proof reading in this story. From the title on, mistakes were thicker than flies on shit.

A lot of these stories have children angry with mom but wanting to maintain a relationship.

Speaking as someone whose mother did have an affair, initiate a divorce, and then lie about and keep us from our father for years....the moment we learned the truth was the last time any of us ever saw her. I was nineteen when her own mother accidentally outted her...That was twelve years ago. She tries calling sometimes. Nobody is ever going to answer.

.. your comments are "dead on"!!!!

"A note to lit writers

A lot of these stories have children angry with mom but wanting to maintain a relationship.

Speaking as someone whose mother did have an affair, initiate a divorce, and then lie about and keep us from our father for years....the moment we learned the truth was the last time any of us ever saw her. I was nineteen when her own mother accidentally outted her...That was twelve years ago. She tries calling sometimes. Nobody is ever going to answer."

but in fairness, didn't vote to bring it down. The character was weak. There are so many different responses to the original situation and drinking is not necessarily one of them. I'm beginning to really dislike the British authors who always have such a weak male character in the story.

The first part was painful -- very weak male, one who was a total loser. The second part redeemed the character and the story, however. The story needs better editing. "Too" and "to" are repeatedly confused, for example. The daughter's multiple names didn't help either. Still, entertaining and somewhat original by the time it wrapped up. Thanks for writing.

Sorry disagree

except in cases of abuse or child endangerment I think its wrong to cut off a parent from their children. I know of way to many fathers with no access to their children through no fault of their own. Fair is fair both parents should have access to their parents and nothing is worse than one ex badmouthing their ex to the children

Sure beats the hell out of that garbage that MattM spews forth.

I got a bit distracted at the beginning wondering if there was any twist to come based on the extra i in the title, but ended up concluding that fawguy really could use a bit of editorial assistance! I could offer him pure proof-reading without sticking my opinions in!

Good read but it sounded as if it were a quilt made by grandma from old stories. One thing is that I do not agree that alcoholism was at the root of his troubles. The girl that he married was the big error in his life. I am just happy that Jane picked up more useful genes from him! One thing that I have to say is that actresses who do not want to give up the limelight are a very poor bet for a life partner.... They are always trying to put on new personas and do different things. A hubby is too humdrum for them. Also they are always trying to cross boundaries!

I wonder if I am going to out an anonymous actress with this bait!

TY

I prefer and like very much stories about second attempt and success as this story is. I am glad a British Author's consequence story, for me an European boring to listen to the prejudice of the Americans against the British. Yes there are consequence story Authors in the British Isles as well. It is very difficult for the alcoholic to maintain the exact abstinent life way and it is very nice achievments from the narrator and Sally.......

it was his whore of a wife jumping onto the casting couch with obvious glee and to the exclusion of her children. he was an ok guy who drank because of it. glad wife ended up a street whore doing "I fuck niggers" porno.

after 2 chapter kid become man i mean look at it when he go to see her he get idea that she fuck around then what he do just drink and let her father and mother talk to her . why cant he talk to her ? didn she is his wife ??

just like cantbuymy said his drinking was not the problem . i like to say he is problem

Is it to much to ask for complete sentences from critics so people can at least understand what you are griping about? It probably is, but one can hope.

Alison was a slut from the beginning and that caused her husband to drink more and destroy his life. He fixed it and Alison fucked hers up. I guess a happy ending was ok but the tale was far too convoluted to be feasible. Oh well.

it reads like a manhaters manual, just about everyone of your stories, the husband is destroyed and takes years to get back on his feet while the slut is of and running with a great life. Then it take some unbelievable event for him to see his kids. Your name shouldn't be fawguy88, it should be foolguy00.

Angry much?

all those decisions and a payback included, TK U MLJ LV NV

The author borrowed a page from StangStar06, and wrote that whoever ends up with a lot of money is the good guys, and whoever ends up destitute is the bad guy. According to this formula, the wife would be the good guy if she keeps fucking producers to get acting roles and earns a fortune, while the husband would be the bad guy if he ends up a homeless drunk because his uncle left his estate to charity. 1 Star for a lazy plot.

this was a good story. but would have loved to see something bad happened to Julian.

Allison certainly bottomed out quickly but I think she was cheating all along. I do love a happy ending though and he made out all right.

Your male Characters are some of the biggest pussies ever

Story is good, but why would he be piddling around when his daughter is in fear of sexual assault? What would be more pressing in his life?

A well written and entertaining story that allows karma to dictate the revenge, but, as much as I like happy endings, in real life scum often rises fastest to the top and lingers the longest.

LA

nice build lousy ending, anticlimatic.

Consequences like, Marcus Ward was found one night mugged to death in a dark backstreet… by a … local taxi driver 🤨

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