Consorting with Romance Ch. 03

Then it happened. In a cornered conversation with one of Jesse's professors. She asked what I did for a living.

"I'm a consort." I smiled politely.

"Most excellent." she replied. "Although this isn't a formal enough event that Jesse needed to hire someone."

I downed the rest of my drink. "No, Jesse and I are dating."

She laughed. "Dating? I didn't realize they allowed you to date."

She was a bit tipsy and I tried to simply smile and respond politely.

"The guild's regulatory board has sway over our professional conduct, not our personal lives."

She nodded. "Well that's nice." The conversation was clearly over at that point and after a brief awkward pause, I excused myself.

Twenty minutes later I found myself in a small group of students when it came up again. Apparently, it had made the rounds and was the topic of discussion for many. The group conversed in hushed tones; unaware it was me they spoke of. The theme of their thoughts centered around a generalized consensus about the situation; disbelief and disapproval coupled with concern over how Jesse would ever be taken seriously in the medical field.

I'd always thought of myself as strong; shielded. Nothing bothered me. I'd raised a sibling, put food on the table, built a career and a good life for myself. That was before Jesse. Now it just hurt. I'd always known this is how many feel about those like me. That only a freak that would choose to sell himself vs. taking on an educated profession. I knew I was only good enough when it was their need I was satisfying.

I'd been wrong to allow this. Not just this evening, but all of it. Jesse was a good man; kind and thoughtful. He was working so hard to finish school and become a Dr.. I was going to affect that dream whether he wanted to see it or not.

I took his hand without a word and drew him into the hall. He brushed the hair off my cheek as he always did and smiled gently.

"Don't let them bother you." He whispered.

I shook my head and swallowed hard as I forced a pained smile. "This was a mistake Jess."

He furrowed his brow. "Really, they're dicks, don't let it get to you."

I shook my head again. "I don't mean tonight. I mean this...us..."

He looked like I'd punched him.

"You will always be judged for being with me. You've worked your whole life for this, and I'm going to be something that holds you back. Always." I fought to keep my voice level. I'd emotionally checked out. I had to. I leaned in and kissed his cheek lingeringly. "You need to stay away from me. I'll send you a check for the rest of your contracted employment term so that you don't have to look for another position while you finish school, but its best if we end things here."

His fingers were so tight around mine that they hurt. He was shaking his head and tears threatened. His normally glowing golden eyes were a deep chocolate brown. I'd never seen a man as strong and confident as Jesse look that way before.

He stepped close and his voice broke. "Don't Ash. Let's leave. Together. Go home right now."

A few people were starting to take notice of us, and I didn't want to make a scene. I smiled gently and pried my hands from his. It took everything I had to lean in and brush my lips across his cheek bone.

"Forget me." My whisper was so quiet I wasn't sure even he heard it.

I turned and walked out. He didn't follow.

The trains had finished running for the night and it was cold. I wandered aimlessly for a bit, but in the end, I had no choice and found myself at the office hovering over the desk, writing him a check for the next year's wages. He'd be better off. He'd have money without working while he finished school. He could have a normal life without being tethered to someone who really should be alone. I found myself staring at his name on the check. My thumb tracing over it as if somehow, he was attached enough to this specific compilation of letters that he'd feel my touch through it.

Check still in hand, I made my way to the kitchen and fished around for an unopened bottle of whiskey a client had gifted me years back. I rarely drank. It was inappropriate during business hours. It never solved nothing anyway; problems were still there when you sobered up. I didn't care tonight, and I took a long drink from the bottle before making my way back to the desk. Another before I could bring myself to scroll his name and address on an envelope, and another before I could slip the check inside. I found myself sitting on the waiting room couch staring at the desk. It already felt unbearably empty without his hulking form leisurely reading a textbook. I couldn't allow myself to imagine the thought of no longer seeing him smiling up at me as I passed through the main area. I lost control of everything I'd been holding onto so tightly and sobs wracked through my body. The only other time I'd cried that way was when my father had died decades ago. I couldn't stop it; I didn't even try.

My god, had I been in an accident? How was it possible for a head to hurt this intensely while still attached to a body? I groaned as I brought a hand up to rub my forehead and shield my eyes. I cracked an eye open tentatively in an attempt to figure out why it was so bright. Maybe I was an ant under a magnifying glass. Opening the eye was a mistake and a new rush of pain flooded through my head. At least I figured out the light. I was at the office, laying on my back on the couch with one arm and one leg dangling off the side. What the fuck? I shifted a bit and my fingertips brushed the tip of something smooth and a loud clatter ensued. Right. The bottle. I'd left Jesse and drunken myself into this mess at the office.

"This is why you don't drink Ash." I mentally berated myself.

With a Herculean effort I didn't know I was capable of; I shifted into a sitting position and buried my face in my hands in an attempt to block out the world. When I finally raised my eyes, I froze. One of the wing backs had been moved and now sat a mere foot from the sofa where I had been sleeping. Jesse. He was sleeping with his head against the large wing of the chair. An opened envelope at his feet; half of a ripped check resting on his thigh. One hand hung off the chair, outstretched toward the couch.

What was I supposed to do? Sneak out? He'd have to leave eventually I supposed, I could just change the key code. A moment later the thought didn't matter anyway as he shifted, and his eyes flew open. As I watched, those pools of gold, made even brighter by the morning light, slowly faded to a dull brown as he remembered what had happened. Wordless, he shifted out of the chair and onto his knees in front of me, wrapping his hands around both of mine.

"You don't get to decide for me Ash. You don't get to pick what I wear, what I eat, or who I love. If you can tell me now that you don't want me, that you don't love me, I'll go without a fight. But that's the only way I'm leaving this room without you."

I tried. I drew up all the strength I had left, and I opened my mouth. No words came out. I closed it again silently. His fingertips reached up and traced the line of my jaw. I felt my eyes close automatically and my head tilted into his touch.

I'd never been embarrassed by my profession before, not really, but in this moment I realized just how pathetic I was. Knowledge of language and politics, the ability to make a man's eyes roll back with the most basic of touches, what did any of that matter. I was so broken. It had been months and I hadn't let the man who loves me touch me.

"You deserve more than someone like me. This is all I am Jesse."

He silently shifted to wrap his arms so tightly around me I could barely breath. He buried his face in my hair and spoke gently against my neck. "I thought you were struggling with sex because of your job, I never realized it was because you were afraid to let me love you."

I hadn't realized that either until he said it.

His fingers tightened around mine as he stood. I followed without resistance. We didn't speak as he led me out the door and the few blocks to the train station. We didn't speak during the train ride, or on the walk from the station to the house. I allowed him to lead me into the bathroom where he finally released my fingers and started the tub. I stood there, unmoving, only half aware of what was happening.

He stepped close and stripped me slowly. The warmth of his fingertips was electric. His touch seared my skin, and it was all that existed. He gestured with his head and I slid into the water without argument and let my eyes close and my head fall back. The rim of the tub was hard and cool, and nestled perfectly into the bend of my neck. The pressure slightly easing the throbbing in my head. I felt him settle in on the ledge behind me. Warm water cascaded down the crown of my head and through my hair. His fingertips followed it and I shivered so hard it may have looked like a small seizure. Nothing else existed as he slowly worked the tangles from my pale locks. I don't know how long we sat that way.

As the pounding in my head subsided, I reached up and caught his wrist. He let me pull him to the side of the tub. I shifted a bit, spreading my legs and motioning for him to join me with a tilt of the head. He hesitated only a moment before stripping slowly in front of me. I was amazed each time I saw him without clothes. It shouldn't be possible for a man to be that flawless. The muscles of his arms and chest rippled under his perfectly tanned skin as he pulled his shirt over his head. As he bent down to remove his pants, a position in which most would show some type of stomach roll, his abs somehow simply became more defined. He stood under my gaze for a moment, looking almost nervous, before he bent down a second time to slip his briefs off. It was the first time I'd seen him naked. Whatever I'd expected, hadn't been enough. His cock was as beautiful as the rest of him. Even soft, as it was now, it hung at least six inches in length, with perfectly round, high balls settled just behind it, tight up against his body. The light trail of hair that ran from his navel ended in neatly trimmed, nearly black hair that created a backdrop that only highlighted the size and perfection hanging against it.

He stepped into the tub in front of me and settled in with his back against my chest. I tightened my arms around him and let my lips begin to explore just behind his ear. I could see over his shoulder through the water, and as I watched, he began to harden at my touch. My lips and tongue worked their way along his neck as I watched him grow. My own cock pressing almost painfully into the small of his back as it hardened between us. His breath became heavy and fast, punctuated by moments when I wasn't sure he was breathing at all. I slipped one arm from around his shoulders and slid it under his arm in the water. My fingers explored his chest. As I brushed them across a small, tan, hardened nipple his breath caught. Good. I continued teasing it for a long moment, watching the way it caused his member to throb just under the surface of the water. Palm pressed tightly against his skin, I slid my hand down along those abs and let my fingertips brush across his silky, swollen head. His body twitched and a moan escaped him.

He shook his head. "Ash we don't..."

My teeth caught his ear causing him to twitch again.

"Shhh...Come on love."

I stood and offered him my hand which he took without hesitation. His amber eyes glowed as if their were embers smoldering behind them as he stood and turned to face me. I'd been wrong. Nine inches wasn't even close; he had to be nearer eleven. Even in my profession it had to be the largest I'd seen. In addition to its incredible length, it was unbelievably thick. His head was slightly larger than his shaft with a flared lip, and one large visible vein that ran along the top of his length. I felt my ass twitch as I stared. I groaned deeply and he shot me that grin that always sent shivers down my spine.

As we stepped out of the tub, I slid my fingers from his to reach for a towel. I took my time as I ran it over his skin, exploring every inch of him, working my way slowly down his body. As I knelt in front of him, drying his thighs I leaned in and flicked the tip of my tongue along his slit to lap up the bead of precum that had leaked from him. His hands flew to my shoulders, gripping them tightly. I wondered just how long it had been since anyone had touched him. Too long.

I stood and took his hand once more and led him to bed. Our mouths found each other and there was only his touch. The strength of the arms that wrapped around me, the heat of his skin, the incredible hardness of his cock pressing into my hip. Our tongues danced as we gasped for breath. I'd never wanted anyone like this.

I tighten my arms around him and dug my fingers into his skin as I fell onto my back, pulling him on top of me; instantly hooking my knees around his hips. Jesus the intensity of him. His body somehow seemed so much bigger than mine, so much harder, so much warmer. I dug my calf hard into his ass, grinding up against him. GOD. I arched my back and moaned into his kiss.

"Please." I begged against his lips. "I need you in me now."

His lips pulled away and his eyes searched mine for a moment. I broke our gaze to reach into the night stand for lube. When our eyes caught again, I realized I hadn't thought about this before hand and sighed sadly.

"I don't keep protection here. No need when it's just me and my hand."

He seemed unphased as he brushed his lips gently across mine. "You always use it at work, right?"

"Of course I do." What kind of question was that?

"Then I don't care if we don't." He softly replied.

I groaned deeply and shivered hard.

"God the idea of you inside of me, skin to skin; to feel you cum deep in me."

I felt him tremble as I spoke, and he ground his body harder against mine as I leaned up to catch his mouth once again. I held our kiss as I quickly reached between us with a handful of lube. As I stroked him, he moaned and shuddered so intensely I was afraid he was going to cum right then. I guided him, and he pressed lightly against my hole, holding himself there. His kiss slowed, forcing me to take notice of every sensation rather than letting need drive us. I pulled a bit tighter against his ass with my calf and his hips pressed forward. God he was thick. The sensation was overwhelming, and my breath caught in my chest. I pulled harder, encouraging him to continue. His hips pressed again, and in one motion, his flared head popped into me. My body left the bed as my back arched and my head fell back. I cried out in both pain and ecstasy. He stopped moving, terrified he'd hurt me. I barely noticed; I was lost in trying to remember to breath. I panted and groaned loudly at the intense sensation of fullness, the stinging stretch of my tight ring, the heat of his skin inside of me. He held until I was able to bring my eyes back to his. They were full of concern, need, love. I wrapped my arms tightly around him; my fingers digging into his shoulders and brought my lips to his.

"Slowly." I whispered before parting his lips with mine.

He arched his torso up and reached down, slipping and arm under my waist and pulling our bodies tightly together. Our kiss was different now, need partially sated. When he began to move his hips again it was slowly, deliberately. He inched into me as we clung to one another. Panting, moaning, whimpering. There was nothing else, only one another; only soft, warm skin and mingled breath and rushing heart beats. I felt every inch of him as he pressed into me. When his flared head slid across my prostate my body arched with pleasure and I cried out once more. When his hips finally settled against my ass, I wasn't sure if it had been minutes or hours, or if I was still breathing. He rested there, deep inside of me and our lips met gently once more.

"Move now my love." I whispered against his lips and he began to slowly pull back.

He was so thick that every inch of him slid along that deep bundle of nerves and it was all I could do to simply cling to him. I curled my body tightly around his as he pulled slowly from me, his belly sliding along the underside of my cock as he continued to hold me against him. He found an indescribably slow, smooth rhythm and my hips moved instinctively with his. There was only this. There had only ever been this. Only him. When I was able to remember anything existed other than the feel of his arms and belly and cock inside of me, I kissed gently along the side of his neck where my face was buried. The pleasure built with each slow long stroke. He was ecstasy, each move taking me higher. I clung to him, my fingers digging into the muscled shoulders that hovered over me, in awe of the way they rippled as his body moved.

"I'm sorry love, I don't think I can hold out much longer." I whispered against his shoulder.

"Don't try." He moaned and kissed my jaw. "Just let yourself feel me."

I did. I let go of everything else. I simply felt his muscled chest press against mine. The light covering of hair on his lower abs slide against the underside of my cock, now slick with my precum. The way his strong arm curled tightly around my lower back. The way he filled me completely, hot and slick with no barrier between us. The world disappeared as I cried out and rode wave after wave of pleasure. He kept moving, sliding his length along my prostate with each stroke, milking every bit of sensation he could from me. Each time my body spasmed in pleasure, my ass would try to clamp tighter around him. He was so thick it couldn't, and with the next spasm it would try even harder. Again, and again, I tightened harder and harder around him. He cried out into the bend of my neck and I felt the rush of heat as he found release inside of me. Every muscle in his body strained as he thrust; uncontrolled and hard. I cried out and joined him. The world went black with pleasure as I pulsed out ropes of white heat between us and dug my fingers into his shoulders.

We clung to one another, panting, whimpering, lost in what had just happened. As our breath slowed, he gently slipped his arm out from behind my low back and as his hips shifted, I quickly pressed my calf to his ass, holding him to me.

"Stay." I nearly begged in a whisper.

His eyes rose over mine and smiled gently as his fingers brushed my hair back from my forehead and cheek.

"Always." His lips brushed mine tenderly. "I wasn't going anywhere."

Our lips played gently, completely lost in one another, fingertips trailing along silken skin until, he eventually softened and slipped from me. I shivered once more. He slid his body over to my side, curling up with his head on my shoulder, his thigh across my hips, hand resting on my chest. I tightened my arm around his back and wrapped my fingers around his. We slept.