Controlling My Brother Pt. 01

Furious, Paula snatched her hand back. Then stared at it, not quite understanding what she had just done. She looked one last time at her sleeping brother and fled to her room.

Sleep was completely out of the question now.

She cried hot tears of rage, pounding her fists into the pillow. She didn't know what she was feeling, couldn't even fathom it. Having been spoilt for so long by her ability to remain in control, she had no idea what to do when it was gone. Her skin prickled, alternating between hot and cold. She ripped off her pyjamas, her panties, and threw them to the floor, scratching her body, gouging it, anything to distract herself from her sobbing, yelling heart. She went to the bathroom, rifled futilely through the cabinet. The bright light leered at her and she returned to bed.

Suddenly hating the sensation of the sheets against her naked skin, she groped for her discarded clothing. Fumbled with her panties, discovered on them a thick liquid, unexplained. Stopped, completely frozen. Then slowly dropped a hand to her own groin and pressed a finger experimentally.

Oh Fuck.

There was more moisture there than she knew was possible.

Oh Fuck.

What the fuck happens now.

-----

The next morning Paula pretended everything was normal. What choice did she have? She served up a tasty breakfast, smiling tightly, and then went on her way.

In fact the next few weeks passed normally enough. Jake and Jelena found a place within five days with the help of his savings and her parents. He began the first rotation of a graduate program at a finance firm, bought a rattly old commodore, and took lunch with Paula a half dozen times. He seemed to have no inkling of what had happened that first night, nor did he query Paula on her muted, cautious demeanour. Nor did he once catch the genuine, girlish smiles she allowed herself when he wasn't looking. Paula kept her promise - she didn't tell him what to do or how to feel, and Jake slowly relaxed.

For Paula's part, she alternated between moments of her old self-assurance, and frantic terror. She worked even more hours, using it as a way to blot out the unwelcome feelings. More than once she woke suddenly in the night, her panties knotted around her ankles, her body feeling like it was on fire. Confused and distraught, she didn't get much sleep those nights.

She also began to check her phone obsessively, hanging on even the most mundane update from Jake.

Scrounged this yesterday :), accompanied by a photo of an ancient yet robust arm chair, Jelena's arm draped casually over it, was enough to cause Paula to spend twenty minutes at her desk, chewing her nails, wondering what to say.

So much for reformed.

But Paula hadn't got to where she had by accident. She didn't conquer these new sensations, but she did find with them an uneasy detente. Before long, any alterations in her behaviour had been smoothed over. As far as the outside world was concerned, she was the same controlled, relentless Paula.

In the meantime, Phillip Rebus, partner and founder of Rebus & Tristan returned from his 6 month sojourn in London. He entered the office one afternoon with a flourish, beaming around benevolently at the miniature empire he had created, dispensing smiles and light touches to the dozen or so who crowded around him. Paula of course continued to work, steeling herself for his inevitable approach.

'Don't you want to know what souvenir I brought you?'

Phillip stood in her doorway, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. His lightly greying hair was longer, scruffier than she remembered. He wore a t-shirt and shorts with a bulky, expensive watch. Paula eyed him critically.

'You look like a schoolboy,' she said.

Phillip laughed.

'The ex said I was so good at being a businessman, and asked why on earth would I try to appear like anything else?'

'What do you want Phil? I have work to do,' Paula said impatiently.

'As boring as it might sound, the exact same thing I wanted last time I ambushed you in here.'

'You know most people would consider this sexual harassment,' she raised her eyebrows, unimpressed.

'Paula my dear, you are the most competent person I have ever met. If anyone can handle an inappropriate boss, it's you.'

She smiled in spite of herself.

'Get out of here then, before I let my lawyer handle things instead,' she said, still smiling.

'Spoilsport. You know where to find me!' he said cheerily, and left. He swept over the rest of the office with his usual panache. Paula grabbed her phone, but there were no new messages, and she slapped it back to the desk.

The next day at lunch she relayed the story to Jake, watching carefully his reaction. Waiters wove through the crowded room balancing plates like acrobats, and outside seagulls squawked.

'Well he was right about one thing,' he said.

'Flatter me, I dare you.'

'You are a spoilsport.'

She opened her mouth in mock outrage and threw her napkin at him.

'Meanie.'

'Would it be such a bad idea to say yes to him?' he asked cautiously.

Paula shrugged.

'I've thought about it. And he isn't unattractive. But men like that are just butterfly collectors, hunting for unusual specimens.'

'I'm sure you could keep him interested.'

'Maybe. But it's not worth the effort.'

Jake's body relaxed, he seemed satisfied.

They walked together back along the wharf, each of them slurping a coffee. They arrived at his building and he waved his ID at reception. As she left, she caught him still looking at her through the glass. She pondered his expression all the way back to R&T.

The following Wednesday found her and Jake munching away in the air conditioned interior of a cheap pasta joint. Paula's now practiced nonchalance put Jake completely at ease, and he prattled on about a technical problem he was encountering at work. She listened fondly, taking the chance to drink in the sight of him while he focused on his food.

'I have a question,' he said, and suddenly the mood of the conversation changed. He seemed uncertain.

'Jelena and I are going down the coast for the long weekend. I was wondering if you wanted to come with us?' he asked.

Paula pondered the use of 'I' rather than 'we'.

'You know, to thank you for all your help,' he finished hastily.

She shrugged. 'Sure, why not. Jelena okay with it?' she asked casually.

Jake gave a small smile. 'It was actually her idea. But,' he hesitated, 'I think she was testing me. To see if I would insist on spending time with her alone.'

Paula laughed. 'Well good thing for me that you failed.'

'Yes, despite all your training, I still fail from time to time.'

It was a rare mention of their past, and Jake seemed like he regretted saying it. Paula reached out to touch his hand and smiled. He looked relieved.

So two weeks later they escaped down to Jervis bay. Taking separate cars, of course, Paula wishing to keep tensions as low as possible. The house Jake had rented was right on the sand. Way too many rooms, a kitchen that gleamed with seldom-used utensils, and a television the size of a soccer pitch. There was a small cafe 100 metres down the road, serving happy families and fellow holidaymakers. Couples walked along the beach and kids splashed in the shallows.

That first afternoon Paula excused herself for a walk. She pushed herself quickly down Hyam's beach and down along to the point. She felt relieved to be alone in the crisp air. She sat on a stone bench close to the water and simply watched the world around her.

The next day Jelena busied Jake with a long list of activities while Paula lounged on the sand. She had set herself the task of learning economics, and must have looked ridiculous sitting on her towel with a thick textbook in her lap, fastidiously clearing each page of sand before turning to the next. In the late afternoon Jake found her, placing his warm hand on her shoulder to announce his arrival.

'Jelena's gone to visit a friend an hour or so away. She said to expect her back late.'

'Not going with her? She wore you out?'

'She and I have very different ideas of a holiday,' he said, laughing. 'Want to watch some TV?'

They walked slowly back to the house. Again, their arms brushed while they walked, but this time Jake took her hand in his. An old lady winked at them as she passed them on the sand, and Paula pretended not to notice.

They flicked through the channels, eventually settling on some harmless footy. Paula's eyes glittered as she watched the men batter each other up and down the field, cursing under her breath. Jake, safely distanced at the other end of the couch, sat completely still.

'First painting now Footy?' he asked.

'It's so... intense' Paula said, trying to explain.

The game ended and Jake got to his feet.

'Well,' he said, 'I have my own little secret.' He went to the fridge and unloaded an armful of ingredients.

'I have become quite the chef,' he said proudly.

An hour later he announced that it was ready. He set the table with a flourish, and produced an expensive red.

'Jelena's daddy's credit card doing wonders?' Paula asked when she saw the label.

'You're not the only one with a decent paycheck,' Jake responded, sticking his tongue out. 'To happiness,' he said, raising his glass. Paula bit back the impulse to correct him... To success.

The prawn linguine was delicious and the wine potent. They ended up on the couch again, this time with a movie. Jake's posture, so straight at first, gradually slackened. Until eventually, yawning, his head was resting in Paula's lap. She made no comment, instead acting like it was the most normal thing in the world, and her heart wasn't beating twice as fast as it should be. She reached out lamely to pat his hair. He snuggled deeper into her lap, seeming to appreciate it, and Paula's fingers settled into a rhythm, scratching and teasing his scalp.

The movie ended and Jake blearily rose to a sitting position, fumbling for his phone.

'Jelena says she's had a couple, will have to wait it off before driving. Reckons 3 am.'

Paula shivered, feeling the insistent beckoning of fate. She turned to Jake, reaching for him, but he had already stood.

'Bed time for me,' he said sleepily, eyes still locked on his phone.

'But it's only 10,' Paula wanted to say. But he had already left.

The room felt immediately lifeless. Paula knew she was about to be very not okay. She threw the remote at the couch as hard as she could, and it bounced on to the floor. She wanted to scream, and the worst part was she still didn't really understand why.

Back in her room, she found her recently purchased sleeping pills. Opted against them given the several glasses of wine she had drunk. Sat on the edge of her bed, wanting to weep. Something about the mirror in this room was less forgiving, and for a moment she hated how she looked.

She lay down, her head feeling heavy. For a moment she thought she smelled Jake's hair again, and she sat bolt upright, but there was nothing. She replayed the sensation of his hand taking hers, over and over again. There was a feeling that came with it too, the tiniest sliver of a peace she had never known. Like she could finally relax, after an entire life astride a second hand ticking over in her mind. She tried to tear open that sliver, step through and see what lay beyond, but she couldn't. Every time her mind seized and went blank.

Finally, sleep came.

She dreamt of Jake running across a field, charging straight at someone. Paula ran in his wake. Her clothing was soaked, and her shoes squelched. Jake suddenly looked over his shoulder at her, concerned. She wanted to shout at him to watch out, he was in danger. But he didn't look away, didn't break eye contact.

She woke.

Panties knotted around her ankles. Skin soaked with sweat. Heart louder than a cannon. A scent emanating from her body.

It was only 1 am.

Paula rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She kicked her panties off. All she wore now was a t-shirt.

Huh.

It was only 1 am.

She rose like a marionette. Jake's door was open. She could see his form entangled in the sheets. She approached steadily, slowly, and placed a knee on the bed. Jake turned at the interruption, but did not wake. His strong face looked vulnerable in the moonlight. His giant arms lay becalmed, fists open, welcoming. Paula wanted to touch his body again, but some part of her also knew that by coming here she had crossed a much further threshold than just that.

She placed a second knee on the bed.

Jake shifted again, and this time his entire body came free of the sheet. Paula gasped. He was wearing boxers again, but this time they were far from shapeless.

Jake was colossal.

Forget a tent, his boxers were a circus marquee. His hard bulge stood impossibly tall, trembling slightly with its undeniable power. Paula couldn't look away. Before she knew it her hand was at his elastic again, ready to delve deeper, to grab and hold.

She stopped herself.

Her breath was ragged and deep.

She realised with perfect clarity that everything she had been feeling had had only one purpose: to navigate her to this moment. And those feelings had done so with marvelous precision. Past her own reluctance, squeamishness, confusion, obsessiveness. Neatly sidestepping that bitch Jelena. Right to this moment.

She felt calmed, unencumbered by things that served no purpose.

She reached for Jake's cock, and she took it. It felt as huge as it looked. Her tiny fist was no match for it. Her brother's cock was a monolith and she would bow to it. She could feel the blood pulsing through it, matching the rate of her own heart.

Suddenly Jake's hand snapped around her forearm and yanked her hand away.

Paula whimpered.

But he hadn't woken. He grumbled, shifted to his side, with his back to her.

She felt a trickle down her thighs and knew it wasn't sweat.

A car purred down the road and its headlights illuminated the room. Paula started, but the car didn't slow down, and in a moment it was gone.

She turned her attention back to Jake.

He had rotated completely on to his front, and Paula felt a moment of relief. He was out of reach now, there was no way for her to get her hands on him again. It wasn't too late for her to turn back. The floodgates had been opened, but she would still be able to close them. She didn't need to let this become her life, her entire existence. Not yet.

A small light flashed from the bedside table. Jake's phone. Paula reached for it with trembling hands. There was a text from Jelena.

Leaving here soon. Can't wait to cuddle. Love you so much my darling.

Paula choked with rage. How fucking dare anyone utter those words to Jake. She loved Jake, not that dumb doll. In that moment she hated Jelena like she had never hated anything. And she would take from her what was most precious.

She placed her hand on Jake's back and began to tug at his side ever so gently. He grunted and reached for the sheet, yanking it protectively over his body.

She pulled again and he turned his head.

'Whadyawant,' he mumbled.

Paula dared not open her mouth. She tugged once more.

Jake finally complied, flopping over onto his back. He flung an arm out and it connected with Paula's thigh. She yelped.

Jake's erection hadn't gone anywhere, in fact if anything it had become even more impressive. Paula stared at it once more, mesmerised. She reached for his boxers again, and this time began to shimmy them down. For an exhilarating moment she had to reach underneath, press his penis down against the flesh of his stomach so that she could continue to unclothe him. Working slowly, she pushed his boxers down his legs, and eventually free of his feet.

He was now completely naked.

His gigantic dick was free in the cold air. It was the most amazing thing Paula had ever seen.

She bent over and lowered her head tentatively towards it. Pressed her lips against its head, and wondered how on earth she was going to take any of it.

Jake grunted but remained motionless.

Paula reached out with her tongue and tasted her brother for the first time. In that moment she knew her fate was sealed. She knew she would be addicted to that taste for as long as she lived. She swirled her tongue around and around, moaning softly. Then opened her mouth wide, managing by some miracle to take the first inch of him inside her. His hips bucked up and she struggled with the second. Jake was groaning softly, but it didn't matter now if he knew, how could anything matter next to his monster cock in her mouth and his taste coursing through her body.

She pushed her head deeper, slurping, saliva dripping everywhere. A large hand pawed at her rear, insistent. Fingers trailed through the river of her wetness. She was too busy to care though, working his cock further and further down her throat. Suddenly two hands grabbed each of her hips, lifted her up and repositioned her effortlessly. So that her dripping cunt was directly over her brother's face. She splayed her knees, accommodating him.

The first touch of his tongue made her giddy. Her brother was actually licking her cunt. She gave up trying to swallow all of him and focused on moving her head up and down the thick shaft. It wasn't easy, but that was part of the fun. Jake's tongue was now applying a strong, relentless pressure on her clit, moving inexorably up and down.

He groaned. 'Babe you taste so amazing,' he said, a note of disbelief in his voice.

Paula froze.

He thought she was Jelena.

'Babe?'

He will realise, she thought savagely, I will make him realise. She launched herself at his cock again, this time impaling herself deeper. She was still barely past half way.

'Oh my fucking god,' he groaned again.

She gave his balls a light slap and he moaned louder. Then attacked her clit with a renewed intensity. Paula released his cock and sat up straighter, resting on her brother's face with more of her weight. She grabbed his rod with her hand and began to power it up and down. There was slipperiness everywhere. On his dick, his balls, her face, all over her thighs.

Muffled words escaped Jake's mouth, but Paula responded only by grinding herself harder on to his face. He was up to the challenge, and waves of pleasure were coursing through Paula's body as he flicked over and around her clit. The room was full of their scent, strong and intoxicating, and Paula threw her head back, revelling in it. She was using two hands on his cock now, but they still felt so small in comparison.

'Keep going,' Jake urged. His voice was ragged. Paula felt like she was experiencing the true, unfiltered Jake for the first time ever. His raw, base self. And she loved it. She hopped off his face, wanting to dedicate this moment solely to pleasuring him. Her hands were a blur, Jake's back was arched, both of them were groaning with effort and ecstasy.

'Oh my god,' he let out a deep guttural groan.

Paula positioned her mouth ready for the explosion.

It smacked her in the back of her throat.

It jetted all over her face.

There was so much of it.

She scooped a great gob of it off the head of his cock and sucked her finger clean. Slowly, deferentially, she swished her tongue over and around his tip, making sure every drop was attended to. Almost ritualistically.

Jake gave her a hefty smack on her backside.

'Mmm thanks babe, that was unbelievable,' he said weakly.

By the time Paula had turned around, his eyes were already closed.

Paula lay there with him as long as she dared. Curled up against his chest, stroking his skin, marveling at him, smelling him. She was exultant and relieved all at once. A kind of blissful blankness that she knew would have to end soon. She felt safe, like she belonged. All she needed was for him to pick her up in his arms and hold her close.