Conversation – Anne

"You were her friend who knew I was in and out of the doghouse, so you never asked."

She opened and closed her mouth at that reply, but she didn't know what to say.

He said "I loved Stacy. She was pretty, and I was attracted to her. But it was a mix of an emotional attraction that drove the physical one, which I guess is another way of saying rose-colored glasses. With you? We've never been that close, so it was always physical. I've thought you were beautiful since the first time I met you thirty years ago. So on that day, you were the prettiest woman on that beach, at least to me."

In a voice barely above a whisper, she said, "I never knew."

"We were always married, and I didn't want Stacy to be jealous, because she knows you are prettier than her. Now? Now, we both know that you are more beautiful than her on the outside AND on the inside."

She was quiet for a moment after that, lost in the new bit of information.

He asked, "So how about you? Any places you want to see when you retire, or that you're dying to see before you retire?"

"I've never been to Spain, either. I'd like to go back to Italy, after Spain. Instead of Argentina, I'd like to go to New Zealand. Or Namibia. There's something mesmerizing about their deserts."

"Not bad. Those sound nice, too."

They talked a little more about their children and which one was the most likely to get married first. Both sets of their parents were in their seventies but doing well.

She asked, "So, I didn't see any naked honeys waiting for you when we drove up. It doesn't sound like there is anyone serious in your life. Have you been dating any?" She already knew the answer.

"Nah. It just hasn't felt right. Oh sure, people have tried to fix me up. It's just killing my admin that I won't go out with any of her divorced friends. She's dying to pair me up with someone, anyone. Also, my partner's wife doesn't think a fifty-four-year-old man is allowed to be single. How about you?"

She chuckled, "Me? No. I'm not sure if it's worse for men or women our age. I haven't completely fallen apart yet, so I do still attract a little attention. Like you, it just hasn't felt right."

Then she smiled at him and said, "There is this one guy, though. Heart of gold. Talented. Poised. Professional. More rugged than ruggedly handsome. Divorced. Likes the occasional dirty joke. He's probably my financial and educational equal and likes to travel. He cooks one Hell of a steak, too, but it's a little early to say if anything is going to come from that. But I'm hopeful."

Damn! He pondered that confession for a moment and asked, "Anne, can I ask you a question?"

Playfully, she replied, "You can ask me anything, Jimbo."

He smiled at that. Only people close to him called him that.

"Even though I wasn't very happy to see you when you first bumped into me, I've enjoyed sharing our time together today." What had started as a disappointed look on her face quickly morphed into that knockout smile that she knew how to use.

He continued, "Why are you here? That was quite the coincidence that at 4:10 pm on a Friday afternoon you bumped into me in one of a dozen grocery stores on this stretch of road."

This was it. This was the moment she had been waiting for. She hoped he would listen with an open mind.

"You're right, Jim. That was no coincidence. I've been waiting for months for today to get here. Oh, it could have been next weekend or the week after that, but I didn't want to wait any longer. There are some things I need to tell you, and I hope after I'm finished that we will still get to share that ice cream, together."

Jim sat, waiting for her to continue.

"Stacy told me that the two of you had grown apart a long time before you caught her cheating. She said both of your careers were pulling you in different directions. I felt bad for both of you. I joined you in Saint Martin because I was having issues in my own marriage, and she invited me to come. Just me. She asked me if I thought she could talk you into staying home. I said 'no.' I didn't think that was a good way to resolve your problems. That was when I first realized exactly how strained your relationship was with each other. Apparently, it never improved after that."

Jim said, "We had our ups and downs, but it was mostly trending down."

She said, "Let me ask you a question. If your relationship was already in a bad place, what tipped you off to Stacy's affair? Was she acting differently? Did something make you suspicious?"

"As you said, things had been bad for a long time. She would engage with me for a few months and then withdraw again. When I would ask her about that, she would just complain that her work, my work, or things we needed to do for the kids left too little time for us. I tried to hold on, but she wouldn't let me. It had gone on for so long, I had all but given up by the time I was tipped off."

"So just over two years ago, she was being her normal bitchy self, like she had been for the previous six or seven years when out of the blue I received a card at my office addressed very formally to me. It looked like a greeting or birthday card, but it had no return address. My admin opened it, and it smelled like pipe tobacco. On the inside was a smaller envelope marked to my attention 'Personal and Confidential.' So I went into my office and closed the door."

"The card proceeded to tell me that Stacy was cheating on me with some Ph.D. candidate, who was also married, and the card laid out the pattern for her cheating, which was always on days she had afternoon classes. She would meet her lover those mornings. The sad thing was that I wasn't even skeptical of the information I received. She was my wife, and I should have been defending her or at least thinking 'no way,' but an affair would explain a lot. So, I hired a PI.

"Less than a week later, I received another card. Just like the first, it also smelled like pipe tobacco and contained similar info. They always used the same hotel near UAB, so it was easy for the PI to bribe the young guy at the check-in desk to put them into the room in which he had set up a couple of video cameras.

"That was it. Easy. I sent a copy of the folder and videos to the guy's wife, and I confronted Stacy. She was angry that I outed her lover to his wife and said that my request for a divorce was an overreaction. Really? Honestly, given her previous behavior, what would be the point of staying married. I mean, I had been heartbroken for years, so discovering her affair...well, it was much less a discovery and more like someone handing it to me on a silver platter. So having her affair shown to me allowed me to get out of the marriage with less hassle and heartache than it would have been, otherwise."

Anne said, "Except she didn't want a divorce."

"No. You know she didn't, though she couldn't tell me why. She said that she loved me, but we both know that wasn't true, not really. I think she didn't want to give up her routine. She liked her life like it was, with me in my place and our incomes mostly supporting her interests. She said she would stop, but I didn't believe her, and at that point, didn't really care. I suspect that she thought I would eventually 'get over my mad,' and when she thought I had calmed down, she would start up again. If there had been something worth fighting for, I may have agreed to counseling or considered some form of penance for her. But what was the point?"

He continued, "Speaking of fighting. That's where you came in. Why were you so adamant that I forgive her? You knew our marriage was hanging by a thread before the affair. What made you think that she and I would ever be able to make it work? There was a long time when I didn't like you very much. As a matter of fact, if a stranger had asked me for my opinion of you about four hours ago, you probably wouldn't have wanted to overhear the answer."

She nodded her head in agreement. "I deserve that. I know. She was my best friend, and you were so good to her and for her. I thought that if you could forgive her, she would stop her affair and come back to you. I wanted my best friend to be happy, and I thought you were the best chance of making that happen."

He said, "Well, I guess eventually you got tired of fighting for her because I stopped hearing from you."

"Truthfully? I came to realize that getting you to forgive her wasn't my biggest problem. Oh, it was a big one, all right, but the even bigger problem was that I didn't believe she was going to change. If she asked for your forgiveness, it wouldn't be sincere, but only asked so she could continue with her comfortable life. With no repentance, I wasn't going to fight for her to be forgiven. What you don't know was that Adam's affair that ended our marriage wasn't his first.

"One of the reasons Stacy invited me to come to Saint Martin with you was because I caught Adam having an affair and desperately needed to get away from him. I eventually forgave him, and we continued our marriage. I don't know how many affairs he had, but when I caught him the second time, around the time of your divorce, I'd had enough. And my supposed best friend knew how much his affairs hurt me but didn't see a problem with hers.

She continued, "So now it's confession time. I truly did want you to forgive her, and for the two of you to live happily ever after. I knew it would take a lot of work, but I believed in the two of you and that if you loved each other, you could work your way back. But..."

Catching on, he interjected, "how could I forgive her if I didn't know what she did wrong?"

"Exactly. It wasn't her affair that led to my discovery of Adam's but when I told her about my wanting to leave Adam, she confessed her own to me. I'm not sure why. You would think she would have enough self-awareness to realize that telling me what she did would not gain her a sympathetic ear. I think she felt the need to justify her affair. She just didn't realize, or didn't care, that she was telling the wrong person. I believe her affair has changed her.

"I tried to convince her that she needed to stop and beg your forgiveness, but she was steadfast in her opinion that it wasn't hurting your marriage. She laid out for me exactly what she was doing. She didn't see a problem. Well, Honey, I sure did!

"So, I mailed that first card to my parents who live in Vance and included a $100 bill to pay for my dad's gas to drive to Birmingham and mail the card, so you wouldn't know who was sending it. The extra money would pay for him to buy a few nice cigars or maybe some of the pipe tobacco that he likes. He told me that he took my mom to lunch, and afterwards, he drove to an old pipe and cigar store in Mountain Brook and left the card for them to include in their mail the next morning. That's probably why the card smelled the way it did.

"When I talked with Stacy again, she was still trying to defend her position, so I sent a second card. I was getting ready to send a third card when she told me that you had caught her."

"I'm sure you thought I was a royal pain in the ass to you, but I was working on both of you. I was trying to put the two of you back together but on equal terms. I'm sorry if I blew up your marriage. It was none of my business, but she pushed the wrong buttons. I'll say it again. I'm sorry."

Jim could see tears beginning to pool in her eyes and wondered if those were for show or not. Damn. He realized his having those thoughts revealed a very callous and cynical view, but he had become calloused and cynical over the last several years, not just the last one since the divorce. Maybe he should work on that.

He said, "I appreciate your sharing that with me. That does shed some light on what was going on at the time. I mean, it's in the past, but it does fill in a few gaps for me. So, thank you. But, why tell me? You know it doesn't change my opinion of her at all. Oh..., I see..."

Now he understood the reason for the confession...the reason she found him in the grocery store.

"You wanted to change my opinion of you."

She looked out at the lake, refusing to look over at him, fearing what she might see in his eyes. That presumed that she would have been able to read him at all through her own tears, which were caused by a mix of emotions regarding the loss of her marriage, the loss of her best friend of over thirty years, and her ripping off the Band-Aid that was mostly failing to hold together the huge wound in Jim and Stacy's marriage.

There were still things she hoped to accomplish that evening, but Jim would have to be willing to help from here on out.

He said, "Is this because you have some interest in me?"

She nodded her head in agreement.

"And you don't think this will interfere with any relationship you may want to have with Stacy?"

She shook her head no and tried to compose herself. "The last time I spoke to her, she was unrepentant...and I was VERY unsympathetic. We agreed that we probably didn't have much else to say to each other. She doesn't know that I tipped you off, but we said some pretty ugly things to each other at the end."

"I'm sorry to hear that. You two were like sisters for a long time."

"No. Don't be sorry. She was stupid. Even though you and I have never been close friends, we've been friendly and have known each other for a long time. I know a lot about you, both good and bad. Even though Stacy used to complain a lot to me about you, I know what kind of man you are. I admire you. You're a good, kind man, and I'd like to see if we could be more than friends.

"As soon as I filed for divorce from Adam, I began making plans to move here to be closer to my family, and it took me fourteen months to find a comparable job to what I had in Atlanta. Since arriving here six months ago, it's taken me this long to get up the nerve to talk to you."

He was quite surprised by her confession and her request. It certainly wasn't what he was expecting when he left work that afternoon. He looked over at her with a simper on his face.

He asked, "So tonight was our first date, and I didn't even realize it? Damn, that's disappointing. I usually look forward to date night."

She so wanted to smile back at him, but she didn't dare. "I'm not sure I would call this a date. I usually don't get this emotional."

He chuckled, "I can't say that I ever remember a first date like this one. But..."

She was looking at him, hopeful for what he would say next.

"But...I cannot ever remember having a first date with someone that has as much class and is as attractive as you. Would you like to go sit on the couch down by the lake and have dessert?"

This time she did smile. "Sure. I'd like that."

She helped him clear the table and put the leftovers into the refrigerator. Once finished, she pulled the tub of ice cream from the freezer, and he grabbed a couple of napkins and two spoons.

He escorted her outside and down the path towards the lake. The couch was an outdoor couch, covered by a canopy and had a large, wide ottoman. He pulled out a few pieces of kindling and a few sticks of wood, and within minutes, they had a fire in the firepit off to their side.

She patted the spot next to her, and he sat. Then they began to share the ice cream.

He said, "I'm sorry. I didn't even ask. I hope you like dark chocolate."

"I do. This is good, but tonight, it didn't really matter. It could have been tuna flavored, and I still would have shared it with you."

He smiled at that. Usually, Jim would finish the pint by himself, but he was happy to share it with her. After they finished, he placed their things on the side table. Then, he opened his arms, inviting her to rest against him.

They sat there, looking out over the lake, and could hear the fire crackle from time to time and the crickets chirping in the background. Before long, he could hear her breathing change and he suspected she had gone to sleep. After the emotional discussion earlier, he was quite surprised and pleased that she had found enough comfort in him to do that.

While remembering his interactions with Anne over the years, he rested his head on hers and nodded off himself. They were both emotionally exhausted, her from the guilt of having been involved in his divorce and worried about how Jim would react. Jim was exhausted from remembering all those painful years in his life.

When he awoke, he could tell he had been out for a while, because the fire had burnt down to only a few remaining embers, and the moon, which couldn't be seen earlier, was now completely visible over the trees on the other side of the lake.

Gently, he whispered, "Anne? Anne?"

"Hmmm?" She stirred.

"Come on. Let's go back inside."

"I want to stay here with you."

He had enjoyed the snuggling also, but he guessed it was after 11:00 pm and wanted to get inside for some real sleep.

"I'm not kicking you out. I'm just getting you inside."

"Okay. Help me up?"

He did and decided that he couldn't hold on to her and carry their empty container and things back to the house at the same time. He would retrieve them later or in the morning.

Back inside, she was more awake now but allowed him to take the lead. He could send her home, but she was too sleepy at the moment, so he would just put her in a guest room for the night.

"Come with me."

He took her into a guest bedroom and pulled down the covers. He returned with a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt for her. With his six-foot frame, they would swallow her five-foot, four-inch body, but it was all he had at the moment.

When he gave her the clothes, he could see that she was already unbuttoning her blouse. While tempted to hang around for a show, he quickly showed her into the bathroom inside the guest bedroom, which was where his daughter slept when she visited. He retrieved for her a new toothbrush and showed her the closet where towels and other toiletries that she might need were kept.

She thanked him and gave him a hug, which he gladly returned, and then he went downstairs to ensure that everything was locked up for the night and turn on the dishwasher. As he returned to his bedroom, he saw that Anne's door was closed, so he went to his room and prepared for bed.

He guessed they would finish whatever was left of their conversation in the morning. Smiling, he thought, "It's kind of nice to have company for a change. My admin and my partner's wife would be pleased." He had no problems drifting off to sleep.

He had always been a light sleeper, so, in the middle of the night, he was suddenly aware that someone was approaching his bed. It was very dark in the room, but he heard Anne say, "I'm cold. Can I snuggle with you?"

She didn't wait for a response and slipped under the covers. Still sleepy, he honestly intended only to snuggle with her. He pulled her to him and was about to say, "Well, of course, you're cold, you don't have any clothes on," when his brain kicked in. "She doesn't have any clothes on!"

While he was shocked at her boldness, the equipment contained within his boxer-briefs, the only thing he had on at the moment, was very pleasantly surprised and reacted by trying to stretch out of its confinement to greet the new visitor. She immediately spooned back into him and pulled his arm around her. She could feel his hardness pressing against her through his clothes, and she strategically positioned his hand directly on her breast, holding and keeping it there with her own.

Sleep would not be returning to Jim anytime soon.

Her not-so-firm breast was completely in his hand, and with her hand over his, she began to move his slowly, so that his fingers were gently rubbing over and across her tightening nipple. Once she had his hand properly moving on its own across her breast, she rolled her face towards his and pulled his head in tighter.