Conversation Took a Left Turn Ch. 01

"Why are you here, Bobby?" Dutch asked

"I kick the shit of bastard that fucked my wife," I replied with pride.

"Quit being delusional. If you had just kicked his ass in a fair fight, I doubt you would be in here for five years. Let me guess you jumped with a baseball bat or something."

I nodded my head. Somehow when he called me out on it, I felt ashamed.

"Quit trying to talk about how big of a man you are. Let your actions show it. Men who get respect let their actions prove it. Don't mess with these guys in here. There are killers in here. And will not hesitate to take you out. Do as I tell you, and they won't mess with you. Now to get your mind right, you need your body, right.

You're a fat pig. See those guys overworking out over there. I will talk to them, and they will set you up a workout routine to get you back in shape. The best thing about this place, you don't have to worry about your calorie intake."

"I'm sorry, Dutch. I'm not going to take the steroids like those guys out there. Look at them. They are huge. My dick isn't that big to start with. And if I start taking steroids I'll have to stick my finger up my ass and yell snake to get it to come out."

Dutch speaking in frustration, "Bobby, you need to read more books. Let me explain something to you about men. You are in a dangerous and stressful environment here. Nature is funny. Men produce more testosterone in this type of situation.

It is the same during war. After combat, men's testosterone levels were checked. The doctors found their hormones were through the roof.

Also, I never want to hear the word Alpha male come out of your mouth. All men go along until they don't. In most situations, if the men don't care, they will let someone else lead. In others, they take the lead. That's why mean work well in teams. By the time you get out of here, if you work at it, you can look like you did when you were eighteen."

"Man, Dutch, I am so far behind I'll never catch up. I'm not smart like you. If it hadn't been for my old man, I would have failed high school."

"That's your problem right there, Bobby," snarled Dutch. You are defeated before you start.

You're mistaking knowledge for education. Do you know who the most successful people are? Not the straight "A" students, but the B and C students. Why? Because they have overcome failure many times. They know how to overcome failure and improve themselves. To get a "C" average, you probably made a few "Fs" go along with the A's they made.

Straight "A" students that never had to study hard to make great grades are no different than great athletes that always win with little effort. When they get to the big time, they don't know how to deal with failure. Just like you didn't.

Bobby, Do you know who Nick Saban is?"

"Who Nick Saban is, are you kidding me? He is the GOAT of college football coaching."

Dutch nodded his head in agreement and asked, " Have you heard about the process?" I nodded my head, yes. "Do you know what it is?"

I shook my head, no.

Dutch went on to explain, "The process is basically taking an overwhelming task and breaking it down into its basic components. You then take each component and master it. As you build on your success and complete each task. You will gain confidence and start building excellent work habits. When you master each section of the task. You put them together to be successful in completing your goals.

"Dutch, do you mind if I ask you why are you here? You're such a smart man. I can't imagine you could have done something that would land you in this place."

"I did pretty much the same you did." Dutch's demeanor changed as he talked. "I had reached triple-A ball level. And couldn't get over the hump to the majors. It is as far from the majors at that level as high school baseball is to Triple "A" ball. I failed to get to the next level. I had no other plans.

My whole life, I was the big jock on campus. I didn't listen to others about a backup plan if I didn't make it to the Big Show. It wasn't so much I failed to make the pros. I failed to have a purpose and a plan for what I was going to do after baseball.

I worked as a waiter in a county club. You wouldn't believe the number of married bored housewives I was banging. Well, my wife found out about it and set me up to catch her having a revenge fuck with one of the country club's members.

When I caught them, she smirked and asked how it felt. And I was a loser that would never accomplish anything in my life, and I was going nowhere. She was lashing out at me due to me hurting her. I lost my temper and killed both of them. I got 50 years for it."

I was shocked, at his pronouncement. "Bobby, I am speaking from experience when I'm talking to you as a man. At least you didn't kill him. But don't tell me you kicked his ass. You mugged him. I want you to come to my cell and get my book on 'The Process.' Tomorrow you start working out. Afterward, report to me. We will need to help you make a plan for your future."

I walked out of his cell with his book in hand. For the first time in years felt like I might have a future.

....

The next day I started my first of many, two grueling hours of daily working out. God, I knew I was going to be sore tomorrow. As it turned out, I hurt pretty much for the rest of my stay. I met back up with Dutch at the 'Patch,' I called it.

We sat at the bench. Dutch started asking me questions. "Bobby, what kind of work have you done in the past?" he asked, "And what did you hate about them."

I thought, "I worked at an office behind a desk and hated it. Sitting all day drove me nuts. I worked in a warehouse and did the same damn thing every day. I worked on assembly lines and was bored out of my mind. I liked sales. But when I moved my lips, I was lying."

Dutch thought and smiled. "Why not do what I learned to do. The state has enacted a few new laws allowing former convicts convicted of a felony to get State licenses on selected career choices. One of those is landscaping and lawn and turf licenses. Do you know there are over 11,000 types of grass? And over two hundred of those are grasses are used for lawns? And don't get me started on weeds.

In lawn care, you can learn how to do irrigations systems, as well as lawn treatments. They will teach the best way to cut grass and how much water it takes to keep it healthy.

They'll teach you how to use a computer and do sprinkler layouts. And how to install the entire system. They bring in equipment such as a Ditch Witch and teach you how to lay polypropylene pipes. It's great!"

I was watching him, and I swear Dutch was getting a hard-on as he talked about it.

I swear he didn't take a breath when he talked. He went on to tell me, "The local Junior College has extension classes taught here in prison. You can earn a two-year degree. And some of the credit will transfer towards a four-year college degree.

With this type of work, you can work outside. And every job will be different. And every time you go by and see a job that you completed, you can see the results. There are companies out there that work with the state to hire ex-cons. You can start at about $15 an hour plus overtime. From there you could go on and start your own company. I'll teach everything you everything I know about grass.

Dutch had been given special permission to grow grass in the corner of the prison yard. Everything looked like a desert there except for a piece of grass that was 20 ft. by 20ft. He had Centipede, St. Augustine, Bermuda, and Zoysia grasses growing in his little patch of heaven on earth. All these are vine-running types of grasses.

Even though Bluegrass, Bent grass, and Fescue are more popular. The other grasses grew better in the heat of the south. They require less watering.

He treated them like they were his children. Inmates would ask permission to lay on it and walk through it barefooted. They said it calmed them down when they were stressed. It reminded them of better days in their youth when they ran barefooted through their yards.

So I worked. I Worked out. And signed up for the extension courses, and I love them. I took up reading books on self-improvements how to succeed in business. I was about as happy as any man could be, dressed in orange. Ralph visited me about once a month and filled me in, on how the kids and Mary were doing.

Then all broke loose one day. Dutch exploded in the yard. I walked out to his patch and saw him ranting and raven about fucking crabgrass. He was down on his knees, pulling everything out by hand.

When he found grubs, he went berserk. At the time, I thought it was funny, but later on, I understood his grief.

I got lucky and caught my first break. I was hoping it was an omen of good things to come. The prison was overcrowded. A judge ordered an early release for prisoners that had been sentenced to less than seven years and served two years of those sentences. And acted in an exemplary manner. I fit that bill.

I called Ralph and asked him to come to see me. I was sitting at the table in the visitor yard when Ralph walked in and sat down. "Ralph, I am getting an early release I'll be out in two weeks.

I was hoping you could come by and get me when I'm released. Since I don't have a place to live, I will be staying at a halfway house. Would you ask Mary if I can come by and see the kids that Saturday?"

"Congrats," said Ralph. "I'll tell her. The kids will be glad to see you."

I sighed," Ralph.... I should have thrown you the football. I was a jerk,"

He chucked, "You just now realized it. Better late than never."

I hesitated, "Ralph, I know about Mary and you. I won't bother you two. You two would make a terrific couple."

He laughed, "Bobby, that was a long time ago, but all it was just sex for her. I would have loved to have it been more. She is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. But she was not interested. I would like to say I was sorry, but I'm not."

I dried chuckled, "I am the one that threw her way. But thanks for watching out for them. When I get my feet back on the ground, I'll pay you back for whatever it cost you out of pocket. I'll call you to let you know what time to pick me up."

The day I was scheduled to leave, I walked out to talk to Dutch working at his plot. "Hey, old man. I came out to say goodbye and thank you for everything you've done for me."

He stood up and stared me in the eyes. "You can thank me by succeeding and doing what I taught you. Follow the process and get your mind right. Everything will else come."

He stopped what he was doing and escorted me to his office. The same table we sat at the first day I met him a little over two years ago. He looked at me in his steely gray eyes. "Bobby, I feel like a father whose son is leaving home for the first time.

My advice to you is never to take one single shortcut. Everything is to be done perfectly every time. First thing each day, no matter what, make your bed in the morning. That way, no matter how bad your day is, you will have accomplished something positive that day. It is so easy to fall back in the old ways. Do every job like your children's lives, depend on it.

I have given your wife and your situation a lot of thought. I don't get her at all. At least she has kept her word and not divorced you. I want you to promise me you do not resume any sexual relationship with her for the time being. You have not earned the right to sleep with her."

"When will I know? I asked.

His reply was, "You'll know. If not, she'll let you know. Each day you do at least one thing to improve yourself. Make her curious about you. Be mysterious. And for heaven sakes, don't go out and find another woman. Concentrate on your purpose and kids. Women like men with a plan.

Anytime you need to talk, come by, and see me. I'm always at home. Anytime you think about slacking off or taking a shortcut, think, 'What would Dutch do?"

I grabbed him and hugged him. He hesitated and hugged me and shoved me back. "Damn, Bobby, what will all these guys think as his eyes watered." I turned and walked away with tears in my eyes.

Dutch's final words to me were as I walked away, "Women are. Men become. Now go out and become a man."

TO BE CONTINUED...