Conversations 03 - Ghosts

Quick writer's note:

Tags for this story: Separation, Reconciliation & Consequences.

Conversations 03 - Ghosts is the third story in an on-going series of conversations among lovers, former lovers, and their families. This conversation is between a wife and her husband after a four-month separation.

Other topics discussed in this story are date rape and its lasting effect, date rape drugs, lack of communication. With that said, I was in the mood for a happier ending story after a few months' hiatus. I hope you enjoy it.

This story should be just about two Literotica pages long. I hope to keep the conversations relevant and a quick read.

I want to thank my editors for their collaboration and input in this story; Charlie, John, Simepop, KenD, Ma Fille Rouge, and High Luster.

I love to collaborate with people and so I look forward to expanding this editing team. If you are interested in being a part of this collaboration team, please send me your email address through private messaging and I'll shoot you, my stories.

I hate living alone and I hate all the mundane things that go along with it. Grocery shopping is at the top of the list. That's why I'm at my local Safeway at eight thirty on a Sunday morning. I'm hoping I'll miss the crowds, the kids whining, and the old people who have nothing better to do all day but putter around a grocery store.

Hailey used to do all the shopping for both of us until she left me. Then I became responsible for the shopping, the laundry, keeping the house tidy and all the other chores I needed to do to keep my life going. Cooking wasn't a problem since I did the lion's share of it anyway.

I'm still trying to understand why she left. I was happy with our lives, and I thought she was too. We had even started talking about kids. Then out of the blue, the bitch decides she needs her space and bails out on me without any conversation or warning. I hate that fucking bitch, the thought floated through my mind. It's a fleeting thought because I don't really hate her, though I do hate what she did. I miss her smile and her company the most, and I've been lonely lately. I miss her more and more now that I'm back home. And here I am staring at fucking carrots trying to figure out how to tell if they're ripe or not.

My brain won't shut off now that I've again started to think about Helley. I smile at my juvenile play on Hailey's name. I find it appropriate since she has made my life a living hell.

I can't believe that after three years of marriage and a total of six years together she unilaterally bailed out on me for some other guy. Especially after all we'd been through. I didn't really know if there was another guy, but why else would she leave me if there weren't?

SLAM. My cart shudders from an impact, interrupting my dark thoughts. What the fuck, even on a Sunday morning I can't get away from the fucking morons. My eyes, filled with hatred, lock onto the clumsy incompetent who was stupid enough to run into the only other person in the produce section. Fuck!

"Oh, excuse me, sir." The voice was a melody from an age gone by. That smile was contagious. Those eyes sparkled with mischievous intent.

"Hailey! What the ..." I stopped myself from completing the sentence. I'm sure my face revealed my shock. My stomach knotted. I could feel the throbbing veins behind my eyes.

Wonderful, just what I needed right now!

I surveyed her face, then her cart, trying to figure out why she was in a supermarket before noon. Hailey was never a morning person. When I spotted the donuts and ice brewed coffee nestled in her compact cart, it all made sense.

"What a wonderful girlfriend you are, making an early morning breakfast run for your lover, but why are you here at the crack of dawn? I thought you were a better planner than that." It came out a lot more venomously and hurtfully than I meant for it to be, but that's how I felt.

Her smile fell to a frown, and her brow wrinkled as the sparkle disappeared from her eyes. She had the good sense to be ashamed as a red hue spread from her wonderful cleavage, up her neck and to her ears. She always did blush in the cutest way. Her eyes were cast down as I continued my demeaning stare. I could be such an ass sometimes.

"I don't," she started and stopped her response. "I don't have a lover. I haven't been with anyone since you left."

"Bullshit! I didn't leave you Hailey. You served me with papers and moved out!" I could hear my voice reverberating in the open area. I looked around and saw an employee over by the lettuce staring at me. I took a half step back from Hailey, I didn't need to be accused of any physical contact.

"It was just a ninety-day separation so I could think. I wasn't divorcing you." There was fire in her eyes now, so I guess we were done with the pleasantries. "I needed to find myself, to figure out what else I wanted from life."

"I know exactly what you were looking for! Some big new dick." I spoke in a lower tone, trying to escape the nosey glare of Lettuce Girl. "God knows it wasn't me you needed anymore."

"Do you really think that?"

"I know it to be fact!" I spat at her. Her eyes widened with shock and for a second her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. It was obvious that she was trying to control her emotions and trying to figure out how much I already knew. I sure wasn't going to show her all my cards.

"I've never stopped loving you. I'll always need you, Scott." Her head dropped a little as she worked to control her emotions. Her eyes were still focused on the floor. She took a deep breath and continued. "Look, I've been trying to find you for three months to talk. Now that I have, I want to -- we need to -- talk."

I studied her face for a few seconds. I knew we needed to talk, and I knew the middle of Safeway wasn't the right place. I was bound to say something mean and didn't need a ton of gawkers taking her side and running me out of the only store I can barely locate anything in. "Fine. When and where?"

"Now, or at least in an hour. I need to run back to Charlotte's, her boys will be looking for these." She waved her hand over the donuts in her cart. "I need to let her know I won't be going to the zoo with them today." Images of the perky, blonde Charlotte popped into my head. She was Hailey's older sister who, with her husband Tom, had two boys, around four and six. I was always their favorite uncle even though I was their only one.

I considered my options. I figured I could just escape, run home, and avoid her since she had no idea where I lived. I would retreat and fight another day. Besides I'm sure she just wanted to know where to send the divorce papers.

"How about Woody's, say in an hour?" Hailey suggested and I just nodded my head in agreement, knowing I was close to being free from this unpleasantness. "Give me your phone."

"What? Why?" I was confused. What does she need that for?

"Just give it to me, please."

I studied her again, her hand was out, palm up, as if she were expecting me to immediately comply with her demand. Wonder if she has a new number? I had her old one blocked.

Everything was taking place too quickly for me to think the situation through coherently. I just wanted out now, so I took the path of least resistance. I slowly eased the phone out of my front pocket, unlocked the screen and handed it over. Hailey looked at the screen long enough to see I had replaced her photo on my wallpaper with a beautiful shot of a sunset on the Pacific Ocean; I took it when I was in San Diego. Then in a flash, it was in her purse.

"Hey! What are you doing?" I screeched. As I reached for her purse, she hugged it tighter and clenched it closed with both hands.

"I need insurance that you'll show. The last time I trusted you, you ran off. Not letting you do that again." She squealed as she twisted her body away from me causing me to lurch forward, but I refused to lessen my grip on the straps.

"You fucking bitch! Give me back my phone!" I caught movement in my peripheral vision. I turned and saw Lettuce Girl with her own phone. Assuming she was calling the cops, I released Hailey's purse. I didn't need to go to jail today. "Hailey, please give me back my phone." I was much more polite this time.

"I will, I promise, but we need to talk, and I know you'll meet me now that I have your lifeline." Her grin was back. "Why, are you afraid I'll see all those texts from your fuck buddies?" There was a glimmer of regret in her eyes and at the same time, a glint of hope.

"Hailey, I haven't been with anyone since you left me. My shattered heart wouldn't let me," I admitted, a little broken and depressed. It was the truth; it has just been Rosey Palm and her five sisters for me over the past four months. I tried to hook up with a random girl once, but thoughts of Hailey stopped me quickly. Thoughts of my wife with some dude made me sick to my stomach and killed any sexual desire I may have had. That and the thought that we might reconcile one day kept me celibate, I knew it would be easier once the divorce was finalized.

I could see the sadness in her eyes, the smile was gone again. "I'll see you in an hour then." It was just a squeak; her emotions were too close to the surface. I knew it was futile to continue to resist. I guess we'll be having this discussion today, like it or not. I watched her stride with purpose to the self-checkout line. I turned to see Lettuce Girl with her phone still out watching me.

Guess I'll finish my shopping another day. I left my cart in the aisle with the few items in it; someone else will need to put them away. I exited out the slider and headed to my car and Woody's Coffee House.

It took me about twenty minutes to make it across town to Woody's. I didn't see Hailey's car so I parked where I could see the entrance. Instinctively I reached for my phone to pass the time before realizing that she still had it. I drifted back a few months to when this all started.

Hailey was sitting at the kitchen table when I got home from work. She'd obviously been there awhile. We normally arrived home within fifteen minutes of each other depending on traffic. Her yoga pants and lack of make-up indicated that she either came home early or didn't even go to work. I could tell something was off. The vibe was just wrong. I didn't get a chance to change clothes before she spoke.

"Scott, can we chat?" There was no emotion in her tone, she spoke matter-of-factly. I could feel my pulse race, my skin suddenly felt tight.

This can't be good. "Honey, what's going on?" I sat opposite her, noticing the envelope for the first time. "Hailey, you're scaring me a little."

"Scott, honey, you know I love you more than anyone else in my entire world." She stared at me, or rather she looked through me. "Don't you?"

"I never doubted it till just now." Surprise flashed across her face and for the first time that evening I saw fear as she finally focused on me.

"Scott, there is no easy way to say this," her pause caused fear to grip me, "I need some time to myself."

"What?" I was confused and didn't understand what she was talking about.

"I need to get my head straight, honey; something 's happened that caused me to doubt myself. I need to work it through so that we'll be able to live the life we both deserve." She slid the envelope over to me. I opened it to find a trial separation.

I read it silently. It was written by a professional, which told me that she had been working on this for a while. It specified a ninety-day separation. It indicated that this was not a divorce, nor would it lead to one. She only asked for a small percentage of our current savings but did outline how we both had to use discretion when it came to credit and savings and offered a limit for each of us. It was slightly more than we both normally needed. There was a fidelity clause; the separation agreement releases neither of us from our marital vows. The only reason given for the separation was -- personal. What the hell does personal mean? This all is very personal!

I sat there, confused. I must have had the stupidest look on my face because the look she returned to me confused me even more. I stared at the document for a full sixty seconds before my brain and mouth started to interact.

"So, you're leaving me?"

"Oh God no baby. I just need some time to get my head right."

"Who is it that you need to get your head around?"

"What? No one. There is only you, baby." I could see the gears turning behind her eyes, she sighed. "I knew that was where you would go, I promise there is no one else. I'm not having an affair, nor do I want to. I just need some time to put myself back together." She was staring at the table as she broke my heart.

"It says here that you are moving out." I paused as I re-read that part. "Stay here with me, and then I can help."

"Scott, I'm not sure you can, baby. Where we go as a couple is one of the things I need to figure out. I spoke with my parents. You can stay here, and I'll go somewhere else."

We were currently renting from her parents trying to decide if we wanted to purchase a home. We had been having discussions on starting a family, the answer to that was going to decide what our next step would be. She was resistant; I wondered briefly if that was one of the things she needed to get straight.

"Where are you going then?" I wasn't getting any of the answers I thought I deserved, and my fear was rapidly turning into anger.

"Uh, I have a place for a minute to be alone then... ah, probably with my parents."

"Dammit Hailey, why won't you talk to me?" I sounded exasperated, even to myself. I had no idea how I came across to Hailey. "Honey, I can't understand or help you if you don't talk to me."

"I know that baby. I promise, I'll tell you everything when the time is right. Please be patient with me. Please trust me."

Our back-and-forth conversation lasted deep into the night. It finally ended when I went to bed on the fold down futon in the spare room. We never solved anything. The wall that formed between us was an unfamiliar, scary presence.

I laid on that futon, and just like that, I was seven years old again, watching my mother pack her bags and move out. I compared the discussion I just had with Hailey with the one I had with my dad when my mother left us.

What I remember most vividly were my mom's words, 'I need to decide what's best for me,' and her hollow promise, 'I'll be back, baby,' along with my favorite memory of back then, 'This isn't goodbye'. If only it were true. Less than a year later I had a new stepfather, some guy my mom worked with. My dad took care of us all by himself. He was depressed for years. It took him five years to find someone to continue his life with.

My wife's story, my mom's story, hell, women's stories generally went something like: 'I love you' and 'There's no one else,' but all they're doing is stalling while they figure out the best way to replace you. My mother did it and I knew in my heart that Hailey was doing it as well.

I recognized that rattle trap Hailey drove as it sped into the parking lot. She was ten minutes late. Typical Helley. She slammed the car into park and rushed into the coffee house frantically. I watched her through the window as she searched the place for me and then she stopped in front of the large bay window, it looked like she might start crying. I opened my car door and exited, watching her. She spotted me immediately. Her eyes sparkled, and a grin flashed across her face.

We ordered coffee without so much as a "Hi," found a place to sit, and stared at each other for a few seconds.

"May I have my phone back now?"

"In a minute." She pulled it out and placed it on her side of the table, face down.

"This is your show Hailey, speak."

I intentionally sounded cold. I just wanted my phone back and to leave. Fear swelled inside of me. I just knew that our marriage was over, and she was here to tell me so. I almost hated her right now, but somewhere deep in my heart I loved her and didn't want things to end. Not like this at least.

"Why did you leave?" Her voice was meek. I could tell she didn't want the answer, but, like me, she probably needed it.

"Well, after you left me..."

"I didn't leave you!"

"What do you call moving out of our house?" I didn't wait for an answer. "That is exactly what my mother did!"

"I'm not your mother! I didn't leave you!" Her anger showed as she shot daggers at me with a look that might actually kill. She knew what my mother did to us. She also knew I carried scars from it. I need to get this over with, I barked to myself. She must have seen that in my face. Her face softened.

"I'm not the cruel bitch your mother is, Scott. I know what her actions did to you guys. I thought that saying in the agreement that I did not want a divorce would let you know that I truly just needed time. Why couldn't you have understood what I said and given me what I needed?"

"Hailey, you forget that I saw this play before, and I know how it ends." I sat there for a second and took a sip of my coffee allowing myself time to cool down. Damn this woman knows how to fire me up! "Fine, after you gave me the separation agreement and moved out," I paused, "Better?" She nodded her head and took a sip of her coffee.

"I waited around for a month. I called all your friends; I called your parents, and I called your work. No one would tell me anything. I figured you'd moved on, that you never really loved me and left." She kept her cup close to her face, her blue eyes grayed. She used that cup as a muzzle; she was working hard to let me continue.

"You remember that project I was working on? The supply chain consolidation thing?" She nodded. "They wanted me to travel, but I refused at first since I didn't want to be on the road for fifteen weeks and only see you on weekends every couple of weeks. But after you left, I accepted the travel gig. I've spent the last ninety days moving from supplier to supplier, from state to state and eventually overseas."

"Why didn't you come home?"

"I did. After the first two weeks on the road, I came back to take care of the house." I stopped and sipped my coffee. "But when I drove up to the house late that Friday night, your car and another was in the driveway. Not wanting to interrupt you and your boyfriend, I spent the weekend at a hotel and flew back out on Monday morning. Figuring you moved back in with a plus one, I decided to be a one-man prep party. I just kept serially flying from one supplier to the next to get things ready for the team." I took another sip, "It worked well, I was able to get the suppliers up to speed on our mission and have everything ready for the rest of the team when they arrived. We finished the project three weeks ahead of schedule." I could tell she was losing interest in my story, so I didn't bother bragging about my success or the bonus we all got. Or go into details about the lonely drunk nights I spent in my rooms.

"What car Scott?" I couldn't tell if her look was fear or confusion. I was having a hard time reading her.

"I don't know. Some Silver BMW, it looked like you were trading up. So, I let you."

"Was it a gray two-series?"

"I have no idea, Hailey; it was eleven at night and not a single light was on in the house. I figured you were banging him in our bed!"

"I didn't have a boyfriend; would you please stop that crap?" Those blue eyes were on fire now, laser beams trying to sear my soul from existence. "That was the new car Tom bought Charlotte. Since you bailed, she spent a few nights with me to make sure I was settling back in my house alright without my husband!" It took Hailey some time to lighten up on the death stare. I started to think maybe she was telling me the truth.