Conversion Ch. 06

The next step in my journey happened on a weekend after one of my sessions. I was in the bathroom cleaning up and once again my reflection drew my attention. Though I saw the same smooth sexy feminine body that actually turned me on, something again was a little off. It was several days later when again looking at my reflection that it came to me what wasn't right. From my feet to my neck, my slim smooth body looked feminine and sexy, but my head was just me, short blonde hair, cut close and my goatee. Deciding that it was the goatee, I soon had it shaved off but something still wasn't right. My face was now smooth but my hair wasn't right. I had always found that long hair on women looked very sexy and I was actually turned off by women with short hair.

As I gazed at my reflection, I knew what was off was my short blonde hair. I could grow my hair out, but that would take time and do nothing for what I perceived as wrong now. I knew some women wore wigs so off to my computer to look at what was available. I was surprised to find that wigs were very expensive, at least good ones were. There were some cheaper solutions but I hesitated to pick one. Perhaps I could get one of the cheaper ones just to see how a wig would look, then splurge on a better one once I knew more of what to look for. My course set, I needed to decide on the style. Something really long was appealing but I figured my best course was to start with something a little more conservative. I quickly found one, shoulder length, blonde like my own hair and placed my order.

Delivery took almost 3 weeks, but when I arrived home from work and saw the package sitting on my door step, I immediately became excited. My excitement was soon dampened when I opened my new purchase and found the quality less than expected. The hair was rough and stiff, and I could tell before ever putting it on, the fit would be poor at best. Still, I now had a wig and I would be able to see how this new addition changed my overall appearance. I spent extra time in my preparations, wanting to achieve the best from the experience. Bathed and smooth, nails done, and my sexiest lingerie in place, I stood in front of the full length mirror in my bedroom and took out my new wig.

I still did not like the feel of it, being course and the hair not hanging exactly natural, still I slipped it on. It took several minutes to get it to actually fit right then I tossed back my head and gazed at my reflection. The first impression was far from good. The hair was askew and no matter I did, it refused to look anything like natural. I tried brushing but that in itself was an impossible task. It was like brushing a dolls hair. The brush just wouldn't pass through the hair. It would get tangled making it look even worse. I took it off and shook it out again which seemed to help and when I put it back on it hung at least more normal than the first time. I now realized why good wigs were so expensive. I made myself a promise to purchase a fine wig, because even with the poor fit and terrible appearance, I did see the potential. The reflection did appear more female than male now and if I closed my eyes, I could see what was possible with the right tools.

With my promise in mind, I ordered a better wig that night. This one would run me several hundred dollars, but the manufacture promised the most natural look with fine, easily stylable hair. This one would take even longer to get, but I could make do with the one I had for now. Though far from ideal, the wig did complete the look I sought and make my sessions more enjoyable. I did not feel as sexy as I had hoped, probably due to the poor quality of the wig, but when I looked at my reflection, I saw the woman I was hoping to be. It was at this point that I finally realized what was happening to me. When the changes had started, they were subtle. Just little things here and there, combined with the cloud of my arousal they caused in me, I never considered the overall affect, forest for the trees.

As I stood gazing at the feminine form in the mirror, I realized what I had been doing and how it had changed my life. I had to stop and consider what had happened so far and where what I was doing would lead. For the first time since this started, I was seeing how far I'd come and just how I might go. I knew I was out of control, my sexual desires and fantasies dictating my course in life. Then I remembered the intense feeling of satisfaction my sessions gave me, the inner peace I felt afterwards, and the intense pleasures I felt during them. I knew I should stop before it went too far, but I could already feel the fire rising inside of me, the heat in my crotch as my cock began to swell. I wanted more and I want it now.

I sat down at my computer again, opening up the web search and entering Hypno videos. There were so many and I knew that I needed to try something different some more intense than my usual ones. One in particular caught my eye, "You know you want it." I clicked on the start button and as soon as the music started, felt myself drawn to the screen. Images flashed but this time they were of spewing hard cocks. The words flashed more slowly and more frequently, "You love it," "You know you want it,""You have to have it." Al the while the screen flashed more cocks and loads of hot cum. New photos this time, ones of open mouths full of cum. Tongues licking cum covered cocks, mouths swallowing load after load.

My eyes were glued to the screen, but I could feel my cock straining against the silky fabric of my panties. New voices, softly at first the gradually getting louder, telling me to jerk off to all these hard cumming cocks. Telling I loved seeing men's hard cocks and asking if I'd like to suck a hard cock for real. Though I did not considered myself gay, I had seen some gay porn, but it had never excited me the way this video did. My cock was screaming for release. I licked my lips in anticipation of the creamy salty treat I would soon taste. When the background voices said, "You know you want to swallow cum from a hard cock", my mind was envisioning a hard cock between my lips, thrusting into my throat. I could almost feel the streams of hot cum as the cock exploded filling my willing mouth.

With this fantasy vision running through my mind, my own cock exploded in the most intense orgasm I had experienced so far. The waves of pleasure coursed through me. Each spasm elicited another gush of thick cum. I sat panting, exhausted by the effort, but with a sense of contentment I had never experienced before. Usually, after climaxing, there would be a few moments of disappointment or regret, mixed with guilt, but this time those feelings were missing. There were only feelings of warm satisfaction. As I sat basking in these new found sensations, I became aware of a tingling in my chest. My nipples were a little sore. I had evidently been working on my nipples, apparently roughly enough to make them tender to the touch. Maybe this was what had been different, maybe it was the dressing, the wig, or maybe it was something else all together. I had a lot to think about.

I took a break for a few days, although I had experienced more pleasure during my session than I had ever experienced before, I needed to understand why. The urge to do it again was powerful, but resisted. I needed time and a clear head to figure out what had triggered me. What exactly had caused this suddenly change in intensity. Figuring that out would not only help me to understand what was happening, but would also ensure that I could look forward to more of the same. That first set of panties had awakened something and I knew of course the videos had enhanced the new feelings, but how and why.

Over the next several days I spent several hours each night thinking over my situation. This took considerable effort as the urge to re-enact my last session was strong. I thought about all the changes that had occurred over the last few months, the underwear, shaving, the makeup, and now the wig. What did it all mean? Did I want to be a woman? Was I turning gay? Where was this all leading, just how far would I eventually go? All of these questions ran through my mind and they were a little frightening. As I considered each change, what each had brought about in the way I lived, how each had impacted my day to day life, I found some comfort in the fact that each one had felt right, comfortable. As if this was the way things were supposed to be.

I discovered that not only did they feel right, each had made my day to day living a little bit better. Oh, there had been some hiccups, unexpected challenges, but once overcome, life seemed to return to the routine and it felt good. I still needed to answer the questions about where this was taking me and whether I was good with where it was going. As I consider that, I realized that I was happier since I began this journey. I may actually be happier now than I had been in the past. I had lived a normal life by societal standards, good job, marriage, no kids, but everything else as it was supposed to be, but had I been truly happy? I was beginning to believe that I had been fooling myself, that until I ran across my ex's panties, I had been suppressing something inside myself.

It was another week before my will power succumb to the overwhelming sexual tensions building up inside me. I decided I would make this next session special. I held out till the weekend and spent the better part of Saturday morning preparing myself. I began with a long hot soak, I then applied my cream to ensure my body was smooth and soft. It took almost an hour to get the makeup just right and then I selected my sexiest lingerie, all black. Black stockings and garter belt, panties and sexy little lacy bra. I had gotten my new wig which was considerably more natural looking. After I had completed my preparations, I stood looking at myself in the mirror and was surprised to see a very feminine woman staring back at me.

I began my session by choosing a new video, something different than the ones I had previously watched. The one I finally picked was simply titled, "Be the girl." I made myself comfortable and hit play. The music started and the images and text began flashing, just as it had before, but this time there were fewer explicit images. Most of the images were of beautiful women in lingerie and the text restricted to just suggestions of desire to be beautiful, feminine, and sexy. This prevailed throughout most of the video. It wasn't until close to the end, that things began to change. It started with the women in lingerie being held and kissed by men. The text changed as well, be sexy for him, please him, turn him on. The voices in the background urged me to desire being held by men, feeling there strong arms holding me tight against them.

This continued until the last 5 mins when everything began changing again. The images showed women sucking and being fucked, the text changed encouraging me to want to pleasure my man, and the voices urged me to suck his cock, offer myself to him, and asked if I wanted to feel him inside of me. I felt myself responding, my cock ridged, my fingers working my nipples, and I felt the pleasure building inside me. The last few images showed men cumming on the faces of the sexily attired women or them thrusting ass they shot there hot loads deep inside the women. Before the video's end, I found my body racked by another intense orgasm. Wave after wave of pleasure coursed through me, bringing about my own explosion of hot sticky cum.

I came to my senses several minutes later, panting and completely spent. I looked down at myself and noticed the thick salty cum and felt another overwhelming desire to clean up m mess by licking up every drop. The taste was intoxicating and as I savored it's flavor, I found myself massaging my nipples. The tingling this brought on, combined with the salty sweet flavor of cum had my cock rising again. The combination of sensations played on my sexual desires, fueling them, stirring them back to life. I knew I was exhausted, no matter how much I desired it, I did not have the energy for another round. I fought down the urge and concentrated on cleaning things up, including myself.

This session had been different, more intense and more powerful. Whether it was the preparations or the new video, or even a change in my attitude, it had taken me further than I had gone before. My journey was about to change my life again and I didn't fear what that meant, as a matter of fact it was thrilling to consider the possibilities.