Cookie 01

Cookie 01

For my first of all, I mean, my mom was the cookie baker for our game days and my knuckleheaded friends that nickname suited me, so, the end. But it did kind of suit me.

For my second first of all, I received the "talk" when I turned 18. Oh, no, not that "talk" because I received the other "talk" from Mrs. Miller, another game day mom.

"Cookie, first of all, this isn't meant to sound offensive, sweetie, but as gamers who are all 18 now and with how the guys are filled with hormones and with how you're snorting estrogen, I mean, you're limited to one hour in the basement nerd cave because I swear it, there is more than enough "fooling around" going on in this house on game days with the way Randy and Charlie wait to catch me rinsing off a few dishes in the sink, so, one hour, the end of the talk!"

UM, tee he, I bet Randy and Charlie didn't get the "talk", am I right, tee he? Besides, Mrs. Miller clearly started out with, LOL, this isn't meant to sound offensive, so, that wasn't offensive at all, tee he, right?

And I don't snort estrogen. Well, unless somebody knows something that I don't know, so.

Anyways, for my third first of all, hey there, hey, I'm Cookie and I'm a compact cookie and I think I found a nice balance between just enough bronzing from the sun and too much. And, appealing to all of you who are like me and started the "show" a little early and since there was no "and tell" back then, I owe a few people from school and a few people from school owe me. And my fellow fem Tranny's know what I mean, right?

And for my fourth first of all, I'm 21 now and my "and told!" is at a minimum, but I'm cool with life for now anyways, so.

So, my story today begins with a "well, that figures then" opening, for my last first of all.

Well, this just figures and tracks then because I'm a trans with an older compact car behind the garage with a functional transmission that the guy from the Transmission Shop wants to purchase from me because that's how I get men to knock on my door! Well, um, I'm not sure between men and guys yet since I'm pretty new to the boyfriend game.

Oh, for my final, final, first of all, I've been someone's favorite cookie once, but two different times, only not smashed cookie face down and I have only slight regrets, but since that cookie has crumbled, that's behind me now and we all make mistakes, right?

And appealing again to those out there like me, I mean, yuck, right? And I mean "yucky" in the best way because Frank made a totally different sound! Like, ahh, ahh, ooh, ooh, ahh. I went the total opposite of that, I think.

Anyways, moving on then, let me jump into my story, tee he, which would be better titled as the trans transmission transaction saga instead of my choice of how to get guys to knock on your door two years after graduation.

"So, um, Cookie, I mean, I mean, my uncle will take the entire compact car off your hands in exchange for a few bucks and I don't mean very many bucks, but, um, I mean..."

"(Giggles)"

"And just what is so funny then, Cookie, huh? This is official business, even if its sub titled as the trans transmission transaction, so?"

"(Giggles) oh, I'm sorry, Barry Barrymore, it's just that I haven't seen you in a minute and you seem to have grown into quite the young man since school. I mean, your shoulders squared off and your guns stretch out your work logo t-shirt and my, my, my, I'm betting that you've grown body hair too! Did you leave the nerd squad behind, Barry Barrymore, hmm?"

"I mean, I mean, I mean, no, not really and completely, but..."

Oh, folks, um, did I mention that I'm 21 and that Barry Barrymore is gamer addict years old and always will be, hmm?

"Well, do you wear makeup all the time now then, Cookie? And I'm sincere about that because you look better than you ever did before back in the hallways, so?"

Well, art class pencils, right? In a pinch, okay.

"Tee he, not all of the time, Barry Barrymore because it wrecks the bedsheets and pillow cases during my sleepy sleep time, I mean, unless you're saying that the purple around my eyes is an afternoon miss or something, Barry Barrymore, so?"

"Oh, no, no, I'm not saying anything, nothing at all, whatsoever, purple is cool, blue is cool, red is cool, orange is cool, the end of this conversation trap rabbit hole! So, um, why am I here again, Cookie, huh?"

Oh, interpretation, he noticed my shorts, which is short for he noticed my legs and my manner of dress was totally legit since we were in my backyard.

And I've never saw orange eye shadow before, so, that really doesn't sound so cool, but I'm sure it's out there somewhere, just not on my vanity desk.

"I mean, Barry Barrymore, you're here to buy a trans from a trans, so, how does a trans from a trans transaction work anyways, Barry Barrymore? And if your throat is dry, I mean, I have ice tea inside of the house, so?"

A man, Barry Barrymore is a man now, even at gamer addict years old because I fell completely behind his shadow as I slipped past him to get inside of my place, so, a man, I guess. But he's still a guy, right?

"[Sip] I mean, Cookie, the paperwork is not going to say that the "trans from a trans" transaction was paid in full, but I could hand write that at the bottom in "notes" area if you want. Anyways, Cookie, it's a standard auto sales process and the shop has the process down pat with the Secretary of State, so, we pay cash directly to you and drive or haul your old compact car away, keep all of the other scrap metal gains, the end [sip]. Does it start and run, Cookie?"

Well, that was actually a legit question since it's been a minute since I parked old Betsy back there behind the garage, but I did drive it back there, um, almost two years ago.

Tee he and then it wasn't a legit question when Barry Barrymore switched over from giving me the once over look and gave old Betsy the old once over look because start or not, cars need four inflated tires to drive, apparently.

"Well, ugh, but the trans operated enough to back it in here behind the garage, right, Cookie? And is it too forward of me to say that your skin tone looks great in sun, huh?"

Oh, ooh, a body and skin tone glow up from a guy! A man guy. Deposit!

"Oh, um, answering your two questions in order then, Barry Barrymore, yes, I drove old Betsy from around the front of the house when I parked it here, um, sometimes there is a grainy grey line between being too forward and a compliment, but I'll take the glow up this time, yes, I tan a bit because I do like being slightly bronzed and no, I don't usually wear Denim shorts this short away from the house, so?"

Well, two answers, four answers, it's all the same thing, so.

"Care for a cookie to go with your ice tea, hmm, Barry Barrymore? I mean, a real cookie, so?"

"I mean, I mean, I mean, I should, um, try to jump start it because I mean, I mean, a cookie would be nice, Cookie, so, um, I'm just going to pull my work truck around here to the back and um, jump it, I mean, um, okay then."

Well, that was interesting. Not the handing off of a cookie and an ice tea refill, but how after about five minutes of cranking her over, old Betsy "boomed" to life. Like with a big fire spitting boom with a big puff of black smoke and everything, but she boomed to life. Tee he, with a neighbor rousing boom.

"It's okay, Mrs. Williams, we're not under attack. It's just old Betsy booming back to life, so, go back about your business then, Mrs. Williams, okay?"

"Hah! Your friend has boomed to life, Cookie with a shapely Nookie! Boners are not easy to come by these days, so, ugh, you suck, Cookie, especially if you don't suck that throbber off today! [Storms off towards her house in frustration]"

Oh, so, Mrs. Williams can't see well enough to properly park her sedan in her garage, but that she sees from across our yards, hmm?

Also, I don't suck. Except for those two times when Freddy seduced me as his favorite cookie.

Also, throbber? Is that an old timey phrase for a boner?

"So, Barry Barrymore?"

"Oh, so, I mean, I mean, I mean, it runs and I ran it through a couple of gears and it tugged, so, um, it's all cool, so, I mean, um, consider your trans, trans transaction half way done then, Cookie, but the shop will have to send over a car hauler tow truck, so?"

"Well, what kind of car hauler, Barry Barrymore? And by that, I mean, who, what, why, when, how and a couple of other words because all of that will influence how I dress because I know you and I didn't mind flashing a little bit in front of you, but I have my limits, so?"

"I mean, I mean, I mean, Melvin usually drives the flatbed truck car hauler, so, I mean..."

"Melvin? Melvin Melvindale?"

O.M.F.G! Can you spell "look at me now two years after school because I finally found a running path that I could jog along without getting kidnapped", hmm? I mean, spell that, Melvin Melvindale!

"Dets! I need the dets and I need them right now, Barry Barrymore! Who, what, when, why, and how could I get this lucky, hmm?"

Well, I suppose I didn't have to say "who" since that was already said, but it all came flowing out of my mouth, so, whatever.

Anyways, that guy, Melvin Melvindale, right? Or Mr. Challenge as I referred to him all through our senior year because he was always daring me to "wear a bushy ponytail after lunch" or "wear only tight yoga pants up to lunch" and (hiss) "actually take a shower after gym class" and dare challenges like that!

I mean, he won a couple, but I had the hair for a bushy ponytail and his other wins are none of your business, but rest assured, I had no business taking a shower after gym class, especially since I didn't even take a gym class because of the favorite cookie thing.

But that guy, Melvin Melvindale, showed up with his large car hauler truck right on time.

[Beep, grr, beep, grr, beep, grr, beep, oops, stop the car hauler flatbed truck right there!]

"Well, well, well, if it isn't everybody's favorite cookie then! Hey there, Cookie, nice tan work."

I was not "everybody's" favorite cookie. But I took the compliment for my bronzing.

"Oh, you shut it right now, Melvin Melvindale because (hiss) you're probably greasy like your work coveralls and you probably have body hair by now and I'm not anybody's favorite cookie (hiss)! Also, did you want an ice tea, hmm?"

"Only if you switch out your flats for your high tops, Cookie. Is that old Betsy parked behind the garage then?"

Hah! Switch out my flats, my Boi booty! (Hiss) I was so over taking challenges from that guy, Melvin Melvindale

[Beep, grr, beep, grr, beep, grr, beep, the car hauler flatbed truck is tearing up the grass a little bit]

"Relax, Cookie, the ground will relax in a few days and it will all smooth out, smooth like the body lines that you seemed to have finally achieved since that's what you always wanted [sip]."

"(Hiss!) I'm not that under dressed for you to know anything about my body lines, Melvin Melvindale!"

I mean, in another life, I mean, Melvin Melvindale could be my boyfriend, but only in another life.

"Didn't I just challenge you to wear two different color high tops, huh, Cookie? Since when did you start thinking that you were out from under my challenge spells [sip], huh?"

"(Hiss!) ugh, you've won nothing, Melvin Melvindale, nothing!"

Hah! Two different color high tops, my Boi booty, again!

[Grr, scrape, grr, pull, grr, scrape, screech, pull, jerk, grr, grr, thump, thump, grr, thump, grr, pull]

"Tee he, have you ever heard of tire air, Cookie? It's not a new invention and I thought your colors were purple and black instead of red and blue, so, you failed the shoes challenge, right?"

"(Hiss!) Melvin Melvindale, just finish with the "grr, grr, pull, scrape, pull" and give me my old Betsy big fat check! Which I know isn't all that big, so."

"I challenge asked you for sex a couple of times in the past, Bookie, so?"

(Hiss! Hiss! Hiss!) OMFG, I mean, OMFG, I was there, Melvin Melvindale, I was there!"

Oh, Melvin Melvindale did not (hardly) win any of those have sex with me challenges, none hardly at all. But my memory might be a little cloudy about a couple of things, so, um...

"[Smooch] are you starting something with me here at the party, Cookie because I'll finish it, so?"

"[Smack back] tee he, nope, not at all, Melvin Melvindale, but I recently found out that some guys like to bump and grind in the shadows, so [grind, grind, bump, hump, grind] apparently, that myth is true. Also, can you further define "you'll finish it" because the other myth is that some guys like to "finish off" in a Tranny's mouth and I want to be clear about where you plan on finishing, so?"

"[Smooch] oh, are you challenging me back to test that myth then, Cookie because I wouldn't be all that mad about having sex with you, which is exactly the same as getting sex from you and by the way, we're at a graduation party, which is the new prom when it comes to side sex, so?"

Um, it was a tie then, I guess. He asked, I challenged back, he didn't win on the side, so, it was a tie.

"Actually, Melvin Melvindale, I'm on the winning side now, so, I retract threes hisses (hiss take back, hiss take back, hiss take back) because you had blue balls that night! I mean, you did, right?"

"(Grr!)"

"(Hiss!)"

"Tease! Grr!"

"Hiss! It's not that easy, Melvin Melvindale, hiss!"

"(Hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss!)"

Oh, that quad "hiss" was Mrs. Williams again from over the fence because you know, boners are hard to come by these days. I mean, my backyard had two boners in it over two days, so, what's the problem then, right?

"(Hiss) just finish the hauling job, Melvin Melvindale!"

"Oh, my hauler is loaded..."

"(Hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss!)"

Again, that was Mrs. Williams.

"And here is your fat check..."

"(Hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss!)"

Ah, anybody in market for a fairly in shape 46 something girlfriend? She's pretty nice.

"Which is small, but this isn't over, Cookie because I'm still after your cookie nookie and you want me to the first to bang you because you keep calling me by my full name and that's a sign!"

"Oh, that's only true in your dreams, Melvin Melvindale because if and when you're the first to bang me, I mean, if would have like a hundred "f's" in it and the when is way after the big bang..."

"(Hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss!)"

Seriously, she carries herself nicely and has a tan, so? Like a bikini tan, so.

"And the when is way after the big bang reverses itself, so, take your greasy..."

"(Hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss!)"

Fine, maybe a little sex gel is required these days with my neighbor lady, guys, I mean, men.

"Take your greasy work uniform and your body hair, which I've never saw before and vroom, vroom, vroom my old Betsy down to the shop!"

Um, the little fat check was fatter than I expected. And so was Melvin Melvindale's dick.

"(Hiss, hiss, hiss, hiss!)"

OMG, fine, cock, Melvin Melvindale's cock was harder and fatter than I expected! Sheesh! Melvin Melvindale has a cock more than he has a dick! Happy, Mrs. Williams?

"(Meow, meow, meow)"

[A fairly large flatbed tow truck door slams shut]

"And by the way, Cookie, I sit around the shop on Saturday mornings twiddling my thumbs, so, a nice thick and fat..."

"(Aha, aha, aha)"

"So a nice hick and fat roast beef and cheese sandwich would be greatly appreciated about noon time and you know, with a super bushy ponytail bouncing behind it would make my day because you still dream of me and my challenges to you because they let you be free, so?"

Guys, right? They're stupid! Everybody knows that you have to specify cheddar cheese on a roast beef sandwich! You can't just say "cheese" when it comes to a hand delivered roast beef sandwich! Sheesh.

"Well, Melvin Melvindale, you had better call food dash then from the Deli because I'm busy all Saturday morning with some other stuff, that's it, the end!"

"Wear something that the other guys at the shop will like, Cookie, bye."

[Vroom clunk, vroom spit, vroom cough, vroom sputter away goes old Betsy]

Hah! Um, I'll get back to that "hah" later, so.

[The Work Uniform Shop front door jingle, jangle]

"Oh, my shop doesn't carry "Teen Miss" sized janitorial coveralls, but I do have XS women's sizes, so, um, standard dark blue, state park brown or low security prison tan, hmm, sweet stuff?"

Oh, that was easy since I maintain my tan, so.

"Well, I've seen it all now because I would have never thought to go basically naked under a janitorial uniform to get my boyfriend hard, but hey, maybe this weekend because a little relationship spice never hurts, right?"

"OMG, I'm not trying to get my boyfriend hard, especially since he's not my boyfriend and because he is not my boyfriend and especially since that guy, Melvin Melvindale, ooh, ugh, ooh, is just a big pain in the ass sometimes!"

"Ooh, the way my boyfriend likes it every couple of months, so, cool."

Well, she twisted my words around, so.

"Good luck and call me, sweet stuff, if you want to be the spice at our place one of these nights."

Um, I had no words back for that, but I did, ta da, have a somewhat tight-fitting food dash transmission shop work uniform to work with because when you're involved in a trans transmission transaction, I mean, one has to look the part, right?

And I did not keep Martha's number. Under her real name anyways. Although I should probably change it from spice rack to something else in my phone.

"Is it all here in the bag, Mildred? I can't show up at the shop short with sandwiches, so?"

"It's all there, Cookie, four roast beef and cheddar sandwiches for your nookie cookie boyfriends at the shop and one extra because there is always another greasy guy lurking around a shop on a Saturday morning twiddling his thumbs and I wouldn't be mad if you old that old badger, Sal Salvage from the Transmission Shop, that I know he eyes balls my big ole booty when he comes into my Deli Shop on Wednesday's, so?"

I would not be passing on that information to that old badger, Sal Salvage.

"Um, I'm new to literally everything, Mildred, so, is there a better way for me to say that to the old geezer, hmm?"

"Oh, um, tell that old geezer that I might be open to opening my blouse for him around the side of the Line Dance Club later tonight or something gentle like that, so?"

Actually, that one didn't sound all that bad since that's first date stuff and opening the blouse is the new first base anyways, right folks?

"Oh, no, Cookie who is going to lose his nookie soon, that old badger is pushing 46, so, he's probably been limp for three years, so, getting under my blouse is the new home run because boners (hiss) are hard to come by these days, now, get and keep your nookie to your other boyfriends!"

I mean, who needs any blogs on Chang when you have Mildred from the Deli Shop around, right?

"Knock, knock, your Saturday noon lunch has arrived, so, knock, knock???"

Um, transmission shop smell, ewe.

"You're late! And you're a boy!"

"Um, no, no, I'm a Boi, not a boy. And how could I possibly be late when I wasn't expected in the first place anyways, hmm?"

"Oh, I'm the boss and I just scream a lot. And that's what I said, you're a boy."

"Again, no, no, I'm a Boi, the Boi, a cookie Boi, um, without a lot of cookie crumbs, um, oh, I'm the trans transmission transaction Boi, so?"

"Oh, that Boi. Tee he, wow, my office Admin had fun with your paperwork, tee he, um, ahem, um, you're not looking for a job, right? I mean, your uniform is spot on, but, um, I'm sure tranny fluid is not your preference of perfume, so?"

LOL, he sniffed me! That doesn't happen very often. Up that close anyways.

"Anyways, is that knucklehead, Melvin Melvindale, twiddling his thumbs somewhere around here because that knucklehead, Melvin Melvindale, still makes challenges for me almost two years after school and this is my way of saying, hah, you lose sucker!"