Cool Cat Ch. 01

There's an old saying that goes something like, "That boy's as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs." That's how I felt when I walked into the funeral home's large visitation room.

Once I reached my thirties, it seemed I only ever saw my family at weddings and funerals. Not my immediate family, mind you. My mother would never allow me to miss birthdays, Thanksgiving, or Christmas, so I saw my sisters and parents regularly. Cousins, Aunts, and Uncles were rarer by then.

Why would I be nervous walking into a room full of family and friends that loved me? It started twelve years ago, when I was eighteen.

*****

The first Thanksgiving after my eighteenth birthday had set up to be just as boring as the previous few years' snooze fests.

I set up all of the chairs and tables around the house where my mother expected. I knew the drill by then. She didn't have to tell me, nor did I have to ask. All she did was wake me up, shove a homemade breakfast sandwich down my throat, and hand me a glass of orange juice with which to wash it down. My chores for the day were set in stone long before when I was just a wee child, barely able to lift the folding chairs and card tables I was tasked to set up.

Dad watched the football pregame show as I toiled, smirking as he allowed me to pause to watch for a moment as I passed through the room. "On your next pass, bring me a beer, would ya, Champ?" He'd say.

"No problem, Pop," I'd answer.

I took a sip of every beer I brought him. He never said if he noticed. That year, however, I had become a man. I turned eighteen and was ready to take on the world. So, I chugged a Miller Lite before I brought him his first beer of the holiday. I didn't puke it up, but it was close.

"Got to get a buzz before your grandmother shows up, Son," he'd say. "She can't kill my buzz if I don't have one," he'd laugh.

My maternal grandmother was a PITA for sure. She didn't like my dad and it was obvious to all. We had a large house, so Dad must've made good money. He gave her three grandkids, so he lived up to his end of the bargain there. Who knew what put the stick up the old bird's tight ass? The fact was, she went out of her way to treat him like shit every time she saw him.

He took it well enough. He never pushed back to her face, but he'd do little things to annoy her.

For example, one year, it snowed heavily, and Grandma bragged about her expensive new boots. When she and Grandpa made to leave, she found her lovely new leather boots under a pile of all the kids' wet snow boots. It was a little thing, but it sure made me laugh when he and I put all of my little cousins' boots on top of them. His wink and fist bump as we walked back into the living room made me smile.

My favorite thing he did to annoy her was to mess with her drinks. She wanted a specific type of expensive wine. Mom made a big deal out of ensuring we had a case of it in the basement at all times.

One year, I watched as Dad opened a bottle of the expensive fermented grape juice and poured it into my mom's expensive wine decanter. He then put a funnel in the empty bottle and poured in a different bottle of wine. He laughed like a little kid as he pushed the cork as deep as he could into the bottle, then poured a big glass of Grandma's expensive wine, winked, and chugged it down.

"Ah!" he sighed. "It really is a fantastic wine."

He fist-bumped me and we walked upstairs. He waited as Grandma took her first sip and smiled as she winced at the taste.

"May I see the bottle, Jack?" she asked him.

"Of course, Joan," he said as he presented it to her as if he were a sommelier in a fancy restaurant. "I knew the 2001 was your favorite vintage, so I bought a case just for you."

Mom added, "It took him a month to find it, Mother. I had him drive to the shop in Madison to pick it up. I didn't want anything to happen to it during shipping."

Madison was three hours away. I went on that road trip, and we detoured and stopped at The Brat House before going home. Dad said he didn't want to waste the trip, and The Brat House was one of his favorites.

Dad put on a wide fake smile and said to Grandma, "Anything for the best mother-in-law a guy could have."

Grandpa rolled his eyes and said, "Grab me a Miller, Kiddo." I rushed off to get his beer and hoped Dad would tell me the whole story one day.

"A whole case?" Grandma moaned before taking another sip. "Lovely."

My mother smiled and patted my dad on the back as if he were a good dog. Dad winked at me every time he topped off her glass for the next couple of years.

*****

My mom's sister Kelly was the first to arrive on the Thanksgiving in question. Kelly was the oldest of Mom's two sisters. She married a lawyer and had three daughters. They live in a house as big as my parents' and drive new luxury cars.

Melinda her oldest daughter was dangerous. Not in the way that she would hurt someone physically, no, she was a walking dick hardener.

She had the prettiest face I'd ever seen. Her long legs tapered perfectly up into a tight heart-shaped ass that made my mouth water. If she had a flaw, it was that her breasts were only large, not huge. I know, it's not really much of a negative, but I had to find something to bring her down a peg. She was the star of almost every wet dream I ever had.

"Hello, Jimmy," Aunt Kelly said as she handed me her coat.

"Hi, Aunt Kelly," I answered, accepting her kiss on my cheek. I kept my pelvis back from hers as we hugged so she didn't feel the hard-on her tight sweater dress gave me.

Kelly was an older version of Melinda; except she had the large breasts that kept Melinda from being perfect.

"Hey, Kiddo," Kelly's husband Carl grunted as he walked past without a handshake and tossed his leather jacket into my arms. It was typical of him. He was a pompous ass, and none of us nieces and nephews liked him. He'd spend the day in my dad's den drinking whisky and ignoring everyone else in the house until dinner and after dinner when they played cards. My grandma thought the Sun shined out of his ass though. I never understood it.

After Carl, in came Melinda.

"Hi, Jimbo," she teased as she handed me her coat. I couldn't help but check her out, she looked amazing.

She wore a knee length green dress with white tights. Her calves and ankles made my mouth water.

She must've caught me staring as she smirked when she said, "Hold my bag please?" I did and she took out a pair of slippers to replace the knee boots she wore to our house. "Thanks, Jimbo."

My two younger cousins each blushed and giggled as they kissed my cheek and took their slippers out of the same bag.

I took their coats to my parents' bedroom and threw them onto the bed without a care. I was shocked when I walked into the hall and saw Melinda sitting on the bed in my room.

"Can I help you find something?" I asked.

"No," she said coquettishly. She looked at my crotch and continued, "I know where to find what I'm looking for."

I looked into the empty hallway behind me and shut the door. I wasn't stupid, and if my hot cousin wanted to play some kind of game with me, I would take advantage of the situation.

"What do you want?" I asked trying to act cool.

"I've seen you checking me out, Jimbo." Before I could deny it, she continued, "I think you and I can have a little fun, hm?"

She stood and walked up to me slowly, never breaking eye contact. Before I knew it, she grabbed my dick through my jeans.

"Whoa!" I said, as I jumped back. I couldn't believe she did it.

"What do you say, Big Guy? Do you want to have a little fun with me?"

I stuttered and couldn't find the words to agree. She laughed.

"I guess you're not as..."

I cut her off when I pulled her into me and kissed her. Her eyes widened in shock when I squeezed her ass and pulled her into my erection. Her surprise was momentary as she closed her eyes and accepted my tongue into her mouth.

I broke the kiss and said, "We can't have any fun now when people are arriving. After dinner, when all the adults are playing cards and having dessert, meet me in the basement.

She looked at me with glazed over eyes and nodded. I smiled and said, "Yeah, we're going to have a lot of fun."

*****

After dinner, I made sure the coast was clear and headed to the empty basement. The kids were building snowmen, the adults were playing cards, and I spent the afternoon trying to hide my hard-on.

Melinda gave me shy smiles and naughty winks all day.

The basement was split into several rooms. I stood behind the bar of the main room and poured glasses of my Grandmother's wine for Melinda and myself. I didn't know if she'd want one, but I suspected she would.

A moment later, someone opened the door and turned the light off. The door closed and I heard light footsteps walking down the stairs above me.

I felt my way around the bar and groaned when my pinky toe found a barstool in the dark.

I heard and saw nothing as a pair of hands found my chest in the dark. I was surprised as the hands trailed down to unbutton my jeans and lower my zipper. My shock was complete when my jeans and boxers fell, and a mouth engulfed my hard-as-a-rock cock.

"Mm," I moaned as Melinda gave me an amazing blow job. She wasn't my first, as I'd lost my virginity and had blowjobs before, but it was the best by far.

Wanting to be quiet, I held back most of my moans and groans and kept my mouth shut. I wasn't going to do anything to fuck up the greatest moment of my life; I could only imagine what my prude mother would do to me if we were caught.

As her tongue swirled around my mushroom head, she stroked me quickly. She had doubled her efforts and I assumed it was to finish me quickly and not get us caught. I was close, so I whispered, "I'm about to..." she put her finger on my mouth to quiet me and soldiered on.

I shut up and moments later, released a large load of ropes into her hungry mouth. I felt her stand after I finished, and I slid my hand along the bar to find the wine glasses to offer her one.

I put her hand on the stem of the glass and she accepted it. As soon as she set the empty glass down, I heard her walk up the stairs where she turned the light back on.

I smiled as I picked up my glass and leaned back against the bar. I realized my pants were still around my ankles and hurried to get dressed before someone else walked down.

I finished my glass of wine and was rinsing the glass in the sink when I heard, "Can I get a glass of wine too?"

I turned and saw Melinda sitting at the bar. I was so lost in my thoughts of the amazing blowjob; I hadn't heard her come back down.

"Sure," I said. "If someone comes down, I poured it for Grandma, okay?"

"Obviously," she said and rolled her eyes.

She seemed nervous as she took a sip and winced. I wondered why she winced at the taste after she had just chugged a glass of it moments earlier.

"I didn't expect it to be so strong," she said. "I'm used to fruity white wine."

I glared at her and thought it might not have been her that sucked me off and chugged the other glass of the red wine, which caused me to cough, almost hurling it up.

I stumbled back into the sink and asked, "Did you pass anyone on the way down here?"

She shook her head.

"Fuck," I whispered to myself. Who the hell sucked my dick? Did they know it was me? If not, who were they expecting?

She looked at me with doe eyes and asked, "Are you going to hide back there all day, or are we going to have some fun?"

"Holy shit!" I thought as I realized I just got a blowjob from someone and had no idea who it was.

I tried to think of anything that would identify who it was. There was no strong perfume I noticed. No jingle of jewelry. No identifying sounds made at all. The only things I had to go on were the feel of her mouth and tongue on my cock, and her finger on my lips.

There were several other women in the house. My mother, her sister Kelly, Mom's younger sister Jenny, my Uncle Mike's wife Ann, and my grandmother. My mom and grandmother weren't likely as they never left each other's side, and my other cousins were too young. It would have to be one of my Aunts.

I was about to go around the bar and fool around with Melinda when my mom called down.

"Jimmy, are you down there? Can you bring a round of drinks up for your aunts and uncles?"

"Yeah, Mom."

"Damn," Melinda sighed. "Maybe later?"

"Sure," I smiled.

She handed me her glass and said, "Thanks for the drink. I'll see you around, Big Guy."

*****

Melinda helped me carry the drinks upstairs and all of the adults except my grandmother and Aunt Kelly were in the room.

I took the bottle of wine into the kitchen where my grandmother and aunt were sitting and chatting.

"Oh! Thank you, Jimmy," Grandma said as I topped off her wine.

"No thank you," my aunt said when I offered. "I just had a glass."

I almost dropped the bottle when she winked at me. Was it her in the basement?

I took the bottle to the basement and finished the glass I poured for myself earlier. I couldn't understand what happened with my aunt.

Was that wink to indicate she knew it was me down there? Was she expecting it to be me? Why did she go to the basement at all?

My reverie was broken by someone walking down the stairs. I quickly finished the wine and ate a handful of nuts to cover the smell on my breath.

"Hiya, Jimbo!" Aunt Kelly chirped as she sat on a bar stool.

"Hello, Auntie," I said as I opened a can of Pepsi.

"So, Jim," she grinned as she glanced at my crotch, "do you let anyone suck your dick, or were you expecting someone specific?"

I tried to play it cool and answered, "Do you suck anyone's dick, or were you expecting someone else?"

She laughed. She could see right through me.

"Oh, I knew it was you. I'm just wondering why you weren't surprised when I came down and licked your willy. You even had two glasses of wine poured."

I had no idea what to say or do. I was caught and she had me by the balls.

She continued to enjoy my shock and said, "Here's the deal, Kid. Keep your mouth shut and come around the bar."

I walked around warily.

She opened her legs slightly and said, "You have two choices. One, you can get on your knees and return the favor, or two, if you can get that big log up again, you can fuck me right here. Think quick, then we'll talk about it."

I shrugged my shoulders and unzipped my pants. Her eyes went wide, and she smiled.

The room was quiet and the sound of my belt buckle hitting the wood floor sounded as loud as a drum.

She stood and lifted her dress to reveal she wasn't wearing panties. Her white thigh-high stockings shimmered in the light. Her shaved pussy glistened as she bent forward and put her hands onto the bar.

I took in the sight of her pale bubble butt contrasted with her pink pussy and groaned.

"Go ahead, Kid. Pound my pussy but be quick about it."

I didn't care about the incest aspect at all. Kelly was the fuel for many of my jerk-off sessions and many times I came during a fantasy of fucking her pussy or ass.

"As you wish," I said, gaining confidence. If she wanted me to pound her, she'd get it.

Her height was perfect for me to flop my rock-hard fat seven inches in between her globes, and I grabbed her wide hips as I thrust between her cheeks.

"Do it, Jimmy! Don't tease your aunt."

I couldn't believe I was going to live out my fantasies as I lined up to her dripping tunnel.

"Oh, fuck!" She moaned as I slid my thickness into her tightness. "Where did you get a monster like that?"

I smiled at her compliment as I pulled her into me and began my thrusts.

She felt as tight as any pussy I'd fucked before which surprised me considering she had three kids.

"Damn! Auntie, you're fucking tight. Doesn't Carl fuck you?"

I pounded her hard and fast, leaving her breathless. The sloshing, slapping sounds filled the room as she bit her sleeve to keep from screaming out.

"You like that, Auntie? You like your nephew ramming your neglected married pussy?"

"Fuck, Jimmy, I love it. Fuck me harder, Baby. Treat me like the slut I want to be."

I pounded mercilessly into her as I squeezed her breasts. I longed to pull her dress off and feel them properly, but I knew that wasn't the time.

I felt her walls clamp around my cock tighter as she bit her sleeve again. She was cumming hard and I wasn't far behind her.

"Auntie, I'm gonna fill your tight pussy."

"Yes!" She moaned. "Do it!"

I had no idea where my confidence came from, but I felt like I owned her at that moment.

"Oh, my God! I feel it!" She moaned as I released spurt after spurt inside her.

She fell limp onto the bar as I continued to slam into her. I was surprised I didn't soften as I finished and pulled out of her. The gaping hole I left behind made me smile as I slapped her pale ass.

"Holy crap you're a great fuck, Kid."

She stood and turned. The shock on her face when she saw my hard cock dripping with our combined juices made me proud.

"Clean me off," I ordered, and she dropped to her knees as if we were in my dreams.

As she licked and sucked, we were interrupted by the door opening. She jumped up and pulled her dress down, while I hurriedly pulled my pants up and went behind the bar.

"There you are," Carl said to his wife as he came around the stairs. "I'm losing my ass to your father, Kid," he grumbled looking at me.

"You'll win it back," Kelly shrugged.

"Yeah, I know. Pour me a couple of fingers of your dad's good stuff, Kid. I might as well get some of my money back down my throat."

I turned my back to them and in the mirror, I saw him kiss my aunt deeply. I coughed in shock, worried he'd taste my cum or her juices on her lips, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Here you go, Uncle Carl. Two big fingers of my dad's Johnny Blue."

"Atta boy," he smiled and chugged it down as if it were a shot. "Ah! That's what I'm talking about."

"Back to the grind," he said, then made his way back upstairs.

"Jesus," I sighed and leaned back into the counter. "I was worried he'd taste something when he kissed you."

Kelly laughed, "That asshole has no idea what my pussy tastes like. The fucker won't put his face near it."

"What an idiot," I said.

"If he tries to fuck me later, which I doubt, he'll feel how loose I am for sure. His little dick barely touches the sides of my pussy as it is."

I knew she had a potty mouth, but I'd never heard her talk that way.

"Okay, Jimmy. Let's talk about some things now. Pour me a glass of that stuff too, would ya?"

I did as she asked and waited for her to tell me what was happening. I wasn't gonna complain, but I was more than curious.

"I know you've been sneaking little glances at me for years. I also overheard my daughter telling one of her friends she was going to make a move on you today. When you snuck down here while everyone sat to play cards, I sent her out back to check on kids."

"I can't believe you wanted me," I said.

"What's not to want? You're a buff young stud, and now that I know that you're packing that monster, I want more."

I had no response. She sipped the whiskey and smiled.

"When you didn't stop me from blowing you, I knew you thought I was Melinda. I turned the light out for just that reason. I didn't want you to make me work too hard to seduce you, and it worked out well for me."

"Holy cow," I sighed and watched her smile.

The entire situation was surreal, and I couldn't help but feel like the luckiest bastard on Earth.

*****

Later, I was watching the football game when Melinda sat beside me.

"My mom sent me outside earlier, I wanted to have more time with you."

"I know. Don't worry about it," I said.

She looked at me and frowned, "I think we're gonna be leaving soon. We'll have to play another time."