Cougar House Ep. 017: Sauna Loa

"Now there's a thought. Didn't you get that feather duster from lil' Kimmy Hines when she wore a French maid's outfit for Halloween two years ago?"

"Don't remind me. She may be Lily's best friend but she's a pain in my ass. I don't even know why I let Summer hire her."

"Still wanna marry you?"

"Never gonna happen. I'll find Miss Right sooner or later."

"You still crushing on Burt's daughter?"

"She is my boss, but yeah." He laughed. "Can you blame me?"

"Nope! I used to live for her mowing her yard in her bikini. Now that Burt's passed on and she put their house up for sale it's just not the same. How's she like that new condo?"

"Nice place! You been next door to check on things at their lately?"

"No panties were left behind." Dale sighed, "I was hoping!"

Laughing the two Crowe boys headed downstairs. Awaiting them sat Margo Needy on her main floor sofa, feet propped up on the coffee table, still naked as the day she was born. On the table sat a pitcher of lemonade with real lemon in it amongst ice cubes. Three glasses ready for pouring. On the way down Eric whistled at her and she bubbled to life.

"Did the fan work?"

"It did." Dale nods, "Pour us a glass of that pucker juice."

"My pleasure. Keep those puckers ready I might want a kiss." She giggles kicking her legs into a mid-air dance as if a schoolgirl. Even at her age Margo Needy often acted much younger. Calming herself she sits forward and begins pouring them glasses of lemonade. The boys claiming a glass without her offering up one, downed the drinks in a single swallow. Tart or not they needed to quench their thirsts. Pouring refills led to them settling down on the sofa next to her one to each side. Toasting her own drink, the men clinked glasses and then as if planned both placed their chilled glasses against her chest. The sudden coolness made her yelp and giggle all at the same time. "Stoooooooop!"

"You love it." Eric smirked.

"It's cold though."

"Those are some seriously perky nipples." Dale notes.

"They never decrease in size. The plastic surgeon made certain of that. Thank you for noticing Dale."

"Hard not to notice. Perfect everywhere I must say."

"She works out every day. Runs three miles a couple days a week." Eric brags for her.

"Body looks nice and firm that's for sure. Not an ounce of jiggly on you."

"That's not true." Margo hops up and twerks her ass like a professional. There was certainly enough substance back there to entrance Dale. Plastic surgeon induced extra without a noticeable scar anywhere. Money bought perfection.

"I think she's better than Lucy."

Eric grits his teeth waving not to discuss Lucy Hancock. Dale poises a brow then bites his lip.

"Who is Lucy?" She asked sitting on the coffee table edge instead of the sofa in order to look directly at them both, her knees fanning wide revealing her pussy with each dramatic separation.

"Don't tell Brian, but Dad's talking about his sister. She's a stripper over in Foxborough at a joint called Foxy's. He went there and she gave him lap dances. Brian's kind of uneasy about her doing the dance stuff."

"I danced there once. Darryl made me get on stage during talent night. I won three hundred dollars. I love pole dancing."

"Why do we not have a stripper pole in the house then?" Eric chuckled.

"Build me one and I'll dance for you." She beguiles him with a shameful round of winks.

"Oh, yeah! Margo belly dances too. Show Dad a few moves." Eric prompts her to get up from her seat. Eager to please Margo hops up and prepares herself with a few deep inhales, exhales as nerve relaxers. She wasn't nervous at all but let them think she was. Once ready, Margo began, without music she offers a three-minute belly wave with her hands in the air over her head. Ending her dance with a shiver of hips she laughs and sits back down. Dale Crowe was speechless.

"It's better when I wear the outfit." She snickers.

"Give Dad a lap dance." He grins hoping she would listen.

"Oh my! Does Dale want a lap dance?" She wanted to make certain he was okay with it.

"Best you ever gave." Dale pats his lap.

"Mmmm! I think your dad likes me." She points at Dale's tented slacks.

"I fail to imagine any man not wanting a goddess like you to give them a lap dance."

"Awww! Thank you, Dale. Best ever coming your way." She fans herself, "It is sooo hot in here. How are you boys not burning up?"

"Sweating bullets Margo." Dale tugs at his shirt.

"We can at least help that a bit." She hops up and straddles Dale's lap, rubbing her thighs over his tent briefly as if getting comfortable. Her attention then moved to his buttoned shirt, unclasping his buttons until the shirt came apart, revealing a very hairy chest. "There! Cooler?" She throws her arms around his neck, her nipples taunting his chest.

"Are you kidding me? In a sweatshop like this?"

"Oh!" She looks over at Eric as he tries not to laugh. "Well, we can take the shirt off. Pants too if it helps."

"I better keep the pants on." He grumbled regretting her offer immediately. Even with a lusty mind Dale Crowe had a heart, waning but still a beat. Some lines should just never be crossed in marriage. That would change eventually. "The wife and all. Dancing is one thing, but disrobing is another. I'm not wearing underwear."

"Did I need to hear that Pop?" Eric chuckles turning red.

"Probably not. I will take my shirt off though." He fights to remove it until Margo helps him out of the plaid nuisance.

"Sexy man." She winks at Dale.

"Yeah? Well, my nickname is ChippenDale."

"Does that mean you can dance for me too?"

"That would be embarrassing for everyone involved." He sighs.

"Especially for me Old Timer." Eric shakes his head.

"We need music. I should have played some when I belly danced. Eric? Go downstairs to my stereo. Use the remote for tracks 282, 434, and 521. Those fit a nice dance routine."

"You have tracks memorized?"

"I'm smart that way. Go on, set the tone."

Eric jumps up and races downstairs, running the track numbers in his head over and over so as not to forget them. Setting the tracks in order he hits play. Suddenly, the song, Pony by Ginuwine began slow then led into her rhythmic gyrations over his lap. He was mesmerized by her gaze locked upon his. Her eyes sparkled with the desire to please him. The song being sensually slow led off her inspiration to show him a more passionate side first. He could feel her pussy gliding right over his erection. Her tits crushing up against his chest in a trail of temptation kept him visually stimulated.

As Pony ended, the next track stepped up her game. Hold it Against Me by Britney Spears offered a unique base that gave her a chance to liven up her actions. Moving higher in his lap she molded her breasts around his cheeks and eased back letting her nipples cross his lips. Oh, he kissed them, making her eyes flare and playfully pout her lips at him. Hopping from his lap she sat with her back to his chest. Laying back she gyrated her entire body over his, taking his hands around her to plant them on her belly. He took the hint and began caressing her all over, ending first under her breasts for a bottom feeder lift, before roaming south into pubic paradise, where hair feared to tread. Silky smooth save for a tiny triangle of peach fuzz he only let his pinky touch her clit before moving onward back up her belly toying with her belly button bling.

Her face cheek to cheek with him she moaned and whimpered softly, "You have a soft touch."

"You have a soft body." He answered back.

Tilting her head back she spotted Eric lingering over their shoulders, arms crossed resting on the sofa back. She nibbled her lips at Eric and mouthed the words, "You need to make love to me after he goes home." He nodded and cast a thumbs up. Eric Crowe was ready for more of Momma Margo. Of late she was consuming his every thought.

As Britney ends her siren allure the final track got rougher. Incoming tune blasted the Cyndi Lauper song, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Margo Needy sure did. Pulling from Dale's grasp she stood up on the sofa cushion nudging Eric back. She then placed her legs on the sofa recline in order to face Dale upside down. Awkwardly, Dale assisted her into a 69-lap dance. Her knees to each side of his head, her hands on his own knees as support. Proving her athletic ability she shook her ass in Dale's face, her pussy less than an inch from his nose. He could literally smell her beauty. Controlling her thigh muscles, she even made her pussy open wide and wink at him. Her butt pucker curiously watching his reaction to it.

As she twerked in front of his expressions, she used her upper body strength to do pushups over his lap. Her mouth wide and surrounding his tent with each downward drift. If his dick had been out, it would have been in her throat by now. Eric feeling evil moved closer and snatched up Margo's ankles and pulled her thighs directly over Dale's face smothering him in sweet pussy. He merely went with it while Eric busted up laughing. Margo looking over her shoulder expressed shock that he would even do that to his dad. Not that she objected, but that got a bit more intimate than Dale confessed wanting. She followed through with the song rolling her facial cheeks to each side of Dale's erection. Sweat staining his tan slacks, right over the wetness her pussy imprinted them with in her rubbing. She could feel his cock throbbing through his pants enough to wish he would change his mind. Dale was not an unattractive man even at 50.

Song fading away Margo rolled away from Dale and crawled to her feet, before sitting back on the coffee table to take a drink of lemonade. She was against apologizing but felt bad for Eric's misguided interference. She looked at her leftover sweat stains over his crotch then realized a much bigger stain had shown up. Brows peaking with amazement Margo Needy discovered that Dale had unloaded in his pants without ever making a grunt. She was good. Keeping it to herself she sipped her drink.

Dale huffed and wiped his forehead with his shirt before looking back at his son. "What was that all about?"

"Just felt evil Pop."

"I'd say. I better be getting home before your mom starts blowing up my phone. She's probably home from the bakery by now." He begins putting his shirt back on. Before Dale could even get up Margo nudged him back and once again sat on his lap. Leaning in she hugged him tightly and whispered into his ear. "I'm glad I could be the sacrifice to your volcano. You erupted divinely."

Chuckling at her words he caught on. "You made it easy."

A kiss to his cheek she crawls to his side and curls her legs under her butt. Watching him stand up and stretch she mused at his dampened tent. Shirt tucked in and more presentable he heads for the door. Eric following along behind his dad stopped him at the threshold.

"Sorry Pop. I figured you needed a small sample of what she's like."

"All good. She tasted like cotton candy." With that Dale Crowe headed for his truck. Eric stood there in the doorway waving until his father drove off, before turning and closing the door. Looking back at the living room he discovered Margo long gone. Only the lemonade pitcher sat alone on the coffee table. Prepared to search for her something caught his eye. She had left a trail of glasses going up the staircase. Every fourth step had a glass. That led him to take the steps in a hurry following her lead. Reaching his opened doorway Eric found Margo laying on his bed under the ceiling fan.

"It's still balmy in here." She pouted.

Clothing coming off in rapid fashion Eric Crowe crawled in over her and rubbed his cock on her labia. "It's about to get a whole lot hotter."

"Do you think your father wanted me?"

"Yeah, he did. He's just... traditional, I guess. Would you have fucked a married man?"

"Of course. I have no scruples; I'm a slut remember?"

"Our slut."

"Aloha."

"What?"

"Inside joke. I'll tell you later."

Eric Crowe rode her hard for forty-five minutes of screams and passionate admissions of love. A second volcanic eruption of the day warmed her interior. White lava simmered until he pulled out and kissed her clit. Off to shower he went.

Margo? Her whole island was still shaking.

After all, she was the perfect Lai.