Counceling

******

Forward: This story is an expanded version of a story I read and with the author's permission I revised and added to it.

*****

Dr. Lidia Vega let her eyes briefly dart to the clock on the wall. Her newest patient hadn't said anything for nearly ten minutes, but that's okay it was his process and she was only here to lead him through his grieving. Samual, or as he preferred Sam, her patient had recently lost his wife of twenty-five years in a tragic accident and this was their second grief counseling session. Five more minutes passed in silence, their session was growing to a close and Sam made no move to say anything so Lidia took the first step.

"Our time is almost up for today and you haven't said much for a while. Is there anything else you want to speak about today?" Dr. Vega asked. As expected Sam only shook his head but Lidia couldn't force him to talk things would have to go at Sam's pace. She did have one more thing she could try to get him talking. In their last session, she had asked to work on a grieving exercise that she often found was extremely helpful. "Last week I advised you to write a letter to Samantha telling her anything you wished you had a chance to tell her. Did you write a letter?" Lidia found it a funny coincidence that a man named Samual married a woman named Samantha but kept that to herself.

"Yes, but I don't think it helped much. Samantha is gone, nothing I could write will bring her back and she's never gonna read it so I can't help but feel the exercise was a bit of a waste," Sam said somewhat bitterly.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. The exercise is meant to give you a chance to write all your feelings out in a way that helps open you up and possibly open you up for some closure," Lidia said calmly, she was disappointed the exercise didn't seem to help but not every tool worked for every patient. There was a follow-up exercise but she wasn't sure Sam would get anything from it considering how he responded to the first part. After a moment she considered that at the very least it wouldn't hurt anything to suggest it. "I have a follow-up exercise I'd still like you to try. Instead of writing a letter to Samantha I want you to write a letter from Samantha to yourself," Dr. Vega said laying out the premise of the exercise.

"How does that work?" Sam asked his tone carried a hint of curiosity.

"So the purpose of this is to get yourself in Samantha's mindset and consider what she would want to tell you if she had the chance," Lidia explained.

"That sounds like it would just be wishful thinking. Who wouldn't just tell themselves everything they would want to hear to make themselves feel better?" Sam asked.

"Yes you could do that but it would defeat the real purpose. For this, you want to really try and think as Samantha would. Consider what regrets she might have had and how she would express them if she had the chance. Think about how she would feel knowing she left you behind and what she would tell you if she could. Do your best to become Samantha before you set down to write the letter and just give her a chance to express herself through you."

"Okay doc," Sam said unenthusiastically. "Any advice on how I might get in character?" Sam added.

"If you can find something she wrote herself that would be a good place to start. I'd recommend a letter or email to a friend or some sort of journal or diary if possible. It would give you a feel for her writing style and help you adjust to her mindset." Lidia was glad to see Sam was at least taking the suggestion seriously, maybe it would help him after all.

"I'll give it a try at least," Sam said, moving to get up. "I believe my time is up. I'll see you next week." Sam added before shuffling out of the office.

Dr. Vega looked at the clock Sam was right their time had just expired. That also meant she was mostly done for the day only needing to finish up a bit of paperwork before going home to start her weekend off. Before she began she made her way across the spacious office room to lock the door. It was unlikely anyone would try to enter as Stacey her receptionist usually left with the last patient but because she was about to break a few rules it was best to ensure her privacy. With the door locked Lidia hurriedly returned to her desk and retrieved her purse from the large drawer in her desk. From her purse, she extracted a long green pack of Marlboro Menthol 100s and her trusty purple lighter.

Lidia had been a committed smoker since her senior year of high school twenty years ago. She placed a cigarette between her lips and brought it to life before taking a large double pump and inhaling deeply. The nicotine went to work quickly relaxing her body and mind. The only part of her job Lidia disliked was how she wasn't able to smoke as often as she wanted. On a typical day of work, she would handle five clients with a half hour between each hour-long session, trading one of the gaps for an hour lunch, so she would have to sprint out of the building to squeeze in one, two if she could manage, cigarettes between patients. She also needed to get back and spray herself down with perfume to mask the smoke before the client arrived, so she didn't come off as unprofessional.

Fridays like today were mostly the same as any other day but instead of leaving just after Stacey she had to stay an extra few hours and finish up the paperwork for the week but she had figured out long ago that she could smoke while doing her paperwork as all traces would fade by Monday. She used her long since emptied coffee mug as an ashtray and got to work. An hour into her work and midway through her third cigarette Lidia was growing a bit restless and reasoned it was okay to take a quick break from work to relax a different way.

She opened up an incognito tab in chrome and pulled up her favorite porn site quickly typing out her regular search. She browsed through the videos that showed up most of them she had seen several times before but there was one new video that caught her eye. Sissy Slave Services BBC for Smoking Mistress. The title told her this video was perfect for her. She clicked the video and slid her panties down past her long which she positioned to allow easy access to her already dripping cunt. The video was starting a gorgeous blonde with tits out to next week was clad in a full leather outfit holding a leash with a scrawny male slave in a frilly pink dress, a red wig done up in pigtails, and a sloppy makeup job completed the humiliating look.

Lidia teased her pussy with one hand as she brought her cigarette to her lips. The mistress was taunting her slave telling him how pathetic he was and how a real man was coming by soon and that he would have to watch how a real cock pleased a woman. The woman in the video retrieved a cigarette from off-screen lighting up just as a large black man arrived on the scene with his large cock already out. The mistress exhaled her first drag right in her slave's face with a wicked smile before revealing the detail she forgot to mention. That her slave would have to get the cock ready for her by sucking it first.

She grabbed her sissy boy by the face and guided his mouth towards the cock. The slave protested clenching his jaw to keep his mouth shut. The dom was in no mood for a disobedient slave and quickly pinched her slave's nose. He struggled and squirmed trying to break her grasp but soon enough he needed to breathe and as soon as he opened his mouth the black man slid his cock into his new fuckhole. Tears appeared in the sissy's eyes as cock violently assaulted his mouth. The alpha male could only be described as throat fucking the poor bawling sissy. The mistress sat idly by smoking her cigarette throwing out the occasional insult for her sissy slave and encouraging the black man to be rough as he wanted.

Lidia lit a new cigarette with one hand as the other pleasured her aching cunt to the sounds and sight of the sissy choking on the big black dick. She had always gotten off best watching poor sissies getting humiliated and fucked real men while a beautiful woman supervised. It was her secret wish to find a sissy of her very own to service big cocks that she would have inside her when her sissy could take no more abuse. The thought of having her own sissy sent her over the edge and brought her to a powerful climax. She closed the video just before the black man and the woman were about to fuck she had gotten what she wanted for now maybe next time she would make it to the end but she honestly doubted it. She lit another cigarette and went back to her paperwork. It was getting late and she was ready to get away from the office.

******

Dr. Vega spayed another spritz of perfume she had managed to squeeze in three cigarettes between sessions have felt the need for an extra boost before her session with Sam. Between their previous two sessions showed he no signs of improvement and his attitude towards the writing assignments had her worried about his progress and she was at a loss at what to try next if he came back again still not willing to talk. She sat in silence as she went over her notes from the previous sessions. They were pretty sparse since Sam didn't say much.

Lidia looked up at the clock Sam was fifteen minutes late. Just as she was getting up to ask Stacey if he had called to cancel the door opened and a disheveled looking woman Lidia had never seen before stepped in. She smelled heavily of smoke and booze. Lidia would be happy to talk with her about taking her on as a patient and she was sure Stacey had sent her in after Sam canceled but she still needed to confirm it first.

"Sorry, I'm late Dr. Vega I got caught up in something and lost track of time." The voice sounded a bit like Sam but with a forced level of femininity and lacking the apathetic tone he always conveyed.

"Sam is that you?" Lidia couldn't hide the shock in her voice as she looked at the person in front of her. At a second glance, she was able to make out Sam's facial features behind a heavy layer of makeup that included a bit too much eye shadow and obviously smeared lipstick. In addition to the makeup, he was wearing a dress that was just a little too small and a curly blonde wig.

"Yes, doctor it's me. But please call me Samantha." Sam said with a bubbly giggle.

"Okay, Samantha." Lidia paused for a moment considering what to say carefully. "You seem to have made a breakthrough since last week." She wasn't sure if that was the right thing to say. This situation was new territory for her. She couldn't be certain if this was a cry for help or something positive.

"Oh yes and it's all thanks to you," Samantha chuckled.

"Would you like to tell me about it?" Lidia asked wearily. Sam seemed to be alright but she still needed more information.

"It all started on Sunday. I had spent Friday night and all of Saturday moping about as I had every day since the accident when I decided to give that assignment you suggested a try. I needed something to occupy my mind. I couldn't find anything my wife wrote lying around the house so I used her security questions to get into her Google account hoping to find an email." Sam paused to clear his throat as the feminine tone started to crack. "The only emails I could find were old work emails nothing I could use as they all carried a business formality that wouldn't work for the task. I stumbled into her Google Drive and found a bunch of stories she wrote and a secret diary." Samantha paused, uncertain if she should say more here.

"You don't need to tell me anything more than you are comfortable with," Dr. Vega chimed in sensing her patient's hesitation.

"Thank you, doctor, but I think you need the full story." Sam said feeling reassured "So I looked through the stories and they were all of an erotic nature. Most of the stories are about the same character Mistress Valentine and in each story she would have a new slave toy. Usually some beta-male she seduced to humiliate or torture. Other recurring themes included Mistress Valentine's smoking habit and how she would get her slave drunk before making them suck off her suitors." Sam paused again to clear his throat this time it seemed more out of nervousness but he continued before Dr. Vega could interject again.

"For the first time since the accident, I found myself aroused. I was reading a particular story where the slave got super drunk before going home with Miss Valentine and when they arrived she made him put on some of her clothes before letting a hulking black man fuck him in both holes. After finishing that story I decided to look at the diary. It was surprisingly pretty normal after reading the stories. She talked about her daily life like what happened at work or things we had done for the most part. There were a few entries that stood out that shared entry dates with her story updates where she talked about wanting to be more like Mistress Valentine and how she wished she could tell me about her fantasies but was afraid of losing me." Samantha stopped the story to give Dr. Vega a chance to speak.

"I see," Lidia said she didn't want to push but it did seem that Samantha was viewing the change as a positive so that was good. "Is it okay to ask about your new look?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Samantha cooed "So after finishing the diary I decided it was all a lot to take in and I was feeling a bit confused after getting aroused from that one story so I decided it was best to go to sleep and think more about it in the morning. I woke up Monday feeling determined to work on Samantha's letter and as soon as I sat down the words came pouring out. I felt like Samantha had possessed me and was writing the letter herself. In the letter, she told me how bad she felt leaving so suddenly and how she missed me. She told me about her secret stories and how she wished she dared to tell me before she passed. She said she wanted me to move on and be happy. The last thing told me was that a part of her will always be with me." Sam sounded so happy as he recounted the letter he wrote to himself.

"After writing the letter and reading it I found myself drawn back to the story that got me so aroused before and while I was reading it Samantha's voice spoke to me and it told me I was like the little bitch boi in the story and she was Mistress Valentine and the best way to please us both was to put on some of her old clothes and makeup before I continued. I did as she instructed and returned to the computer an hour later with my face all painted up wearing one of her nighties.

" I touched myself while reading the story but I couldn't get off. The sissy wasn't getting off from his cock being touched he didn't cum until the big black cock had roughly taken his anal virginity. Samantha told me where she hid a dildo she used when I was away on business. I didn't even know she had a dildo, it wasn't anything she mentioned before she passed nor did she bring it up in the dairy. But there it was hidden in a box in the closet just like she said. It was big and black just like the cock in the story. I hesitated for a moment. I think I was afraid but Samantha spoke again. She told me it was okay to be nervous and that I just needed a drink to relax first.

"So I grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass and brought them back to the computer along with the dildo. I started from the beginning as I drank my first glass of wine. The dildo was still imitating for me as I got back to the part where the sissy put on Mistress's clothes. I realized I hadn't had enough to drink yet and Samantha agreed so I finished my glass and quickly downed two more before continuing. When the sissy in the story started sucking the black cock I closed my eyes and began sucking the dildo. I read this part twice already so I didn't need my eyes to follow along with the story. I copied every detail I could remember as I slowly took more of the big fake cock into my mouth and eventually down into my throat. I could feel myself oozing precum just from the throat fucking. I was about to reach the best part of the story. My cock ached and twitched as I took the dildo away from my lips and rested the tip at my waiting behind. It was the moment of truth. With a final word of encouragement from Samantha, I slid the magnificent cock into my waiting hole and the pleasure was greater than anything I could have imagined." Sam paused, he had a blissful expression on his face.

Lidia could hardly believe what she was hearing. There was no way this was real. One of her patients had basically recreated something akin to her wildest daydreams and was recounting the tale in graphic detail. She could feel the wetness in her panties and her face felt hot she wanted, no she needed to hear more but she couldn't ask that would give away her true feelings plus Sam wasn't done and he wanted to tell his story as much as she wanted to hear it.

"At that point, I wasn't using the story as a guide anymore instead I was just doing what felt natural. I kept going until I was too sore to continue. I wasn't able to orgasm though." Sam seemed disappointed with his last remark. "Tuesday was my first day back at work and I went along with everything as normal. Co-workers offered their condolences since I hadn't seen most of them since the accident but beyond that, it was a normal day at the office. When I got home I wanted to relive the night before so I had a few glasses of wine and tried again but it wasn't the same. I'd already lived that story and I wanted this time to be different. I looked through all of the other stories but none of them were good enough either. Just when I was going to quit Samantha spoke to me again telling me to write my own story and that she would help.

" We worked on a new story together in it, the same sissy from the previous story is now the narrator instead of Mistress Valentine and he tells of her tragic death at first he's lost but he finds a letter she left for him. She knew that if anything happened to her he would be too weak and pathetic to carry on so she left careful instructions for him to follow. He was to start going out dressed in Mistress's clothes and picking up guys to let them use him however they wanted. He was also to start offering his services at a glory hole she left directions to. She was hoping to take him there herself soon but as of writing the letter, she hadn't had a chance. His final instructions were to find a new mistress to abuse him but to always carry a piece of his true Mistress with him. Next to where he found the letter was a pack of Mistress's cigarettes and her favorite lighter. To carry on her memory he takes up smoking which increases his oral fixation." Sam paused and Lidia could tell where this was going.

"After writing the story Samantha and I agreed I should take up smoking like she had wanted to so I could better relate to my new character. We called for a ride-share to run me to the convenience store where I picked up a pack of Marlboro Light 100's or as they call them now Marlboro Gold 100's I guess those were what all the girls in high school used to smoke so Samantha and I agreed they would likely be good for a beginner like myself. The clerk gave me a few dirty looks for wearing my wife's clothes but the driver I had didn't even bat an eye about it. I lit up as soon as I got home, I didn't think to buy a lighter so I had to use matches we kept around for candles.

"It tasted awful at first and didn't inhale but I knew it was something I had to do so I kept up with it and it got easier as I regained my buzz with more wine. I don't know when I started inhaling but I got drunk and used the dildo in ways I wanted my character to let guys do to him. I don't think I came but my panties were stained when I woke up for work. Wednesday and Thursday I went to work as regular Sam but everyone was surprised that I seemed to be recovering so well from the loss. After work, I'd drink and smoke and come up with new stories ideas while using the dildo on myself. Today was much the same and I was already pretty into my fantasies when I remembered our session. I was going to just call and cancel since I was already such a mess but I needed to thank you in person." Sam concluded with a warm smile.