by Unknown365
good basis to the story but too many words were not spelled correctly or used correctly. it takes effort to submit a story and I applaud you for that, but use spell check next time. :)
If you make a negative comment from now on it will likely be deleted. If i even sense that the comment is negative i will remove it without thought or question. i do welcome positive feedback. if you have some constructive criticism i will listen, but if i receive no positive feedback along with the criticism i will take the comment off.
I have no idea where you came up with this, but it was weird and horrible. You don't need to be writing stories because this was the worst thing I've ever read!