All Comments on 'Cousin Jimmy'

This works only as parody.

Well that was as bt-bitch and bastards as it gets, then again, they went far from straying to outright planned murderand later attempted murder so while i'm not one for over the top mayhem for cheating, the consequences suited the crime here.

overall true idiots to manufacture the tale of a non existent aunt Martha and move 'little' Jimmy into the house and make the cheating so flagrant. To a degree she seemed right that he wouldn't have noticed her cheating if they'd just kept it out of the house. They undoubtedly had been having an affair for some time before they had the dumb overconfident idea to pose him as a cousin and move him in and he didn't seem to have any idea.

Only problem I had with the story was the Baptists having a problem with incest. Umm, Adam and Eve, their 6 children, no other humans, and the species didn't die out. Nuff said!

Other than the above this was the greatest story I've read in LW by far. I mean it's not even close.

What a glorious BtB story. Your finest work so far!

5* obviously.

The King is a hard man and takes no prisoners. It's good to be the King. I loved your story, but our gentle cucks won't. Great stuff!

He is so dumb.

Reading those martyr endings are getting very boring. I think this is more believable than those " I'll always love you and have forgiven you" shits.

So she's a schemer and he's a jerk.

I'd say they deserve each other.

Why no attempted murder charge or some charge for talking and plotting murder?

wth was that. damn man that was so far out there i dont think that would happen in an alternate reality. lol just wow. well at least it cracked me up, so i guess ty for that

I could Rabbit on about the Story Blah! Blah!..But bottom line it's a great comedy on the dark side?..So I give you 5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

This was so awful I almost had to do a double take!

Great cliche work here!

I keep thinking about Tim Conway every time he talks. Thank you I needed a good laugh

That was funny. You could have been a little more over the top but still, it was funny.

Sometimes it's nice to just write a omegalul story.

Enjoyed it and found the really naive MC entertaining. Only question, did his wife have 2 sisters or did he end up fucking the one who was married to the grammar natzi? You didn’t say her name at the end.

when he mocks the rest of us for taking ourselves so seriously.

Lord, was it hilarious!

I honest-to-God had to walk away from my computer when Jimmy turned out to be black, laughing my ass off for a good five minutes over it. I mean - the BALLS on that chick, to try to pull such a stunt off. 'Ended up asking myself out loud where the hell did she got the sheer hubris to try do something like that. And, as the story progressed, the answer became pretty clear:

Bill is stoopid. I mean - he so goddamn stoopid, he doesn't deserved proper spelling for the word! Seriously, we all knew the did from the get-go - the cousin-being-the-lover is a well-known trope here, in LW. But, even if you've never read a single story on Literotica, what you have been your reaction, if you've faced such a predicament: to immediately find out who the fuck is the guy your 'loving wife' just invited to stay in your house... or get shitfaced while watching the game? This man was oblivious to such a degree, you had to wonder if he didn't also suffer from genuine retardation! When you're that dumb, it's laughable to criticize any university, included UNT, when the one you went to actually gave you a diploma when you're obviously not fit to graduate from middle-school!

When you take the time to think about it, it dawns on you that it's only by the grace of God (played here by KingBandor!) that the moron didn't end up dead because of his cluelessness, 'cause, if it wasn't for the video he accidentally filmed his cuckolding, there's no doubt Agnes and Jimmy would have probably murder him (whether or not those two clowns would have got away with it, well that's a completely different matter!) Controversial opinion incoming: I definitely believe that Bill deserved to have been turned into a cuck. Let's face facts: 'dude's essentially a dim-witted, self-centered, functioning alcoholic who would prioritize football over pretty much anything in his life, even his marriage. So no wonder the wife thought that, not only could she go looking elsewhere for some fun, but that she could bring that fun right in her home without her husband noticing it! And she would have got away with it too, if it was for that damn camera - 'took the dumbass THREE FUCKING DAYS to get a clue!

So, although Agnes and Jimmy ultimately got what they deserved, at the end, I don't know if Bill deserved the happy ending he ended up having here. Why on Earth would Agnes' sister would want anything to do with such an dunderhead? And, by the way, is that the same sister that is married Trevor - if so, what the fuck happened there? Oh, and another question: why the fuck would Jimmy want payback for his plan crumpling down? Should he be happy to not have ended up in prison for the death threads he was caught saying on video? Hell, why didn't the judge arrest him and Agnes the second he heard about it? And what kind of criminals jump some guys IN TEXAS with a knife, and not a gun!? And did Billy-boy ACTUALLY went to college? And, if he did, how the hell doesn't he recognize the smell of pot when he smells it!?

Why is every character here SO GODDAMN STOOPID!?!?!?! 🤣

Well... at least it was funny! Not a single likeable protagonists to speak of here, but the overall, surreal lack of intelligence by the main cast made this a riot to go through. Definitely worth the time I spend reading it.

Thank you for this effort, author.

I love the snarky writing style.

Not once did I think the good old boy was in trouble with Jimmy Cool and the Gang.

Its Texas. You don't bring a ten inch mamba to a gun fight.

By the way. 5*****

Surely , Jimmy is not creamy

No way near King's stander

Well... maybe not clean, but I laughed. Thanks for writing! I’d want to watch football with this guy sometime, but I’m an Eagles fan.

Angels should have dumped him a while back , I came in six pack football , wow , all day Sunday I drank and watched football what a wanker .plenty of guys this side as well then wonder why wives wander

Definitely not one of your best!!

This is one hard core, hate all women that have ever lived story.

I had the same question @ctdans had...That's the flaw in this story...3*

Not very credible but lots of fun to read. Great job.

You don't take the Bible literally do you? With the possible exception of Adam Schiff, snakes can't talk.

Usually your stories are all about real people who try to deal with their difficult issues and feelings. This one was way different. I do love it when you club the bad folks with the truth. Gun at a knife fight was a nice touch. But the coup de gras was the ending. I thought surely he will forgive his repentant ex, but I guess I was wrong! Cudos for a fun read.

That's how I wish I could have dealt with my first wife.

Thanks for the comments. Some really made me chuckle.

Re sister. She was a younger, hotter sister... And "better fucking". Not the one married to Trevor.

Re conspiracy to commit murder, was not a crime as they took no overt action. But, if they did, it would be obvious who it was.

Re Agnes.. Nobody seemed upset she lost her teeth and became a hooker.

I am happy to see people liked this. I may have to write more about Bill.

KB

Talking about killing someone isn't a crime unless you attempt to act on it. At that point in the story, no attempt on his life had been made. So, there was nothing to charge them with. They were not threats, as they were not made to Bill.

KB

5 stars for this crazy ass insane over-the-top fun-filled packed LW's adventure.

Crazy?

For sure, but I love crazy.

KB, keep on trucking.

Oh, I don't take the Bible literally. Though, too many do, and unfortunately they are allowed to vote.

You may want to hold off on the Adam Schiff comment (I'm not looking to get into a political debate on Lit). I've read the transcripts made available, and watched the live testimony so far. The smaller fish are building the base and it's going to be moving up. What's coming up ahead, especially next week with Sondland is going to be a doozy. It's like that old minesweeper game on pc's. The puzzle is opening more and more, and Sondland is going to be the one that opens up a whole lot of squares in one hit.

You may want to diversify where you're getting your news from. That way when all the facts continue to come out you won't be in such a shock.

Again, not looking to start a trumpy debate. 26thNC made a comment and I responded. End of it. It will all play out on our tv's soon enough anyway.

When I first started reading this story, for like the first 60% or so of it, I was thinking this guy is the White Trash Inspector Clouseau, then the story went on a different tangent.

It's seems obvious to me, although I could be wrong, that KB is making fun of the over the top BTB, with the outlandish and silly storylines and characters, that have been going on in Lit recently. The only thing you failed at KB is you didn't write this story as if you've had a stroke recently. Other than that it was hilarious.

Seems most got the idea it was a parody. A few couldn't see how over the top and silly this story was. Interesting!

all the criminals in the world aren't black. Hell there's a tv show on ID devoted to white criminals called "Most evil".

Couple that with the confession that happened to be recorded at just the right moment and it was about as enjoyable as a toothache. And of course Agnes had a younger, hotter sister that was head over heels lust with him and the “Operation Freedom”and you took what could have been a good story and mDe it so fucking unbelievable it was like watching a story die.

This was a total parody. Everything about it was a cliche'. Many people got it, and many of the comments had me laughing hard.

Her cousin, Little Jimmy, turned out to be a very large black man.

He accidentally videos their affair.

They happened to confess everything on the video.

Wife gets totally screwed in the divorce, then becomes a drug-addicted prostitute.

Hubby kills Jimmy, gets away with it, and bangs the wife's hotter, younger sister.

Oh, did you see how I slipped in hubby had been in the special forces, or something.

None of it was believable. It was all over the top. The only thing missing was horrible grammar and atroshus spelling.

The funniest comment was from @whackdoodle who thought the story was good, but the hubby banging wife's sister was just too unbelievable? That was the unbelievable part for you??? Ha ha ha ha ha. OK.

Anyway, it was written as a fun exercise. I had fun writing it. I am glad so many people have enjoyed reading it.

KB

2 starrs

It is like what they say. Don’t go messing around on a good old Texas boy. Liked how you worked your sense of humor into the story.

The BMWF brigade won't like it, but it summed up the whole car-crash for me..

I saw KingBandors comment BUT I had already laughed.

So thank you for the story. I assume it was a successful writingfor you.

Please do keep writing and I will keep reading.

This was not a parody or tribute of/to Matt M. This was just a fun story that I tried to load with clichés and tropes. No one writer was "targeted". My goal was to write a story that was over the top, illogical, unbelievable with a BTB (both bitch and bastard), as you all know I rarely write BTB.

KB

KB, I totally enjoyed reading this and understood for humor. You played a parody on every angle possible. Hard to believe that Bill was so naive about things but smart enough to execute his plan. Thank You and as always looking forward to reading more of your stories.

When did get this? Its in no time interesting ,the MC is a drunk selfish TV addicted asshole! No wonder his wife gets a lover. If she is aging he is old crap! You dare this to us readers? Shame on you. You had stories in you it was fun to read but this time NOT! Are you believing we are dump? Half of the story is about BTB and nothing new so try next time to be interesting again.

10 stars (5 logged and 5 nony :P)

Just so outrageously taking the piss of the husband, the readers (especially those with a SoH bypass).

Do be careful though, you may be heading into Saddletramp territory and while I love his nuttiness so many miss his point too.

"I guess some people are more forgiving than me" Ha...Epic!!

but funny. reminded me a little of HDK.

3 stars too major error for more

Enjoyed humor

Jimmy and the bitch should have gotten heavy jail time for plotting his murder.

Plus he’s a dumb fuck for letting the dude in his house especially after finding the receipts.

Nailed nearly every single LW trope possible, congrats! We all know that was the idea, wasn't it? ;)

A little bit over the top, but great gunfight leading to cousin Jimmy's demise. I'll add this to my favorites just for the shooting tips.

This was the first truly funny stories I read on this site. The last line should be a classic meme.

Good reward for incest cheating Agnes.

In Dallas years ago, one end was known as Harry Hines Blvd, the other was Whorry Hines. You have her turning tricks on the wrong end unless things have changed, I seem to have forgotten how I know that. ;-} Signed: BTW

sorry I can’t give you more than 5 stars. Lol

KB, you drive some of the best comments! Everything from political wrangling to taking a pure humor ('over the top' in your words) story much too seriously. Thanks for the chuckles and the comments.

Keep 'em comin'!

Yeah, but over the top is entertaining. 5 stars full of crazy.

was because she wanted to spend some time with somebody with an IQ over 3

They got what they deserved and so did she. Good writing.

BTB!!!!!

Would have liked cousin Jimmy to live,but seriously hurt,like being in a wheel chair for the rest of his life and being blind.

The Husband thinks like Texas Logic. I gave the writer a grade of 1 because I couldn't select a lower number.

I was in the Military many years ago and actually met some guys that was from Texas. They weren't as bad as this Husband, however had similar thought patterns. Heaven help Texas - amen - NO I'm not BLACK

Nothing but caricatures for the players, so for me this wasn't particularly engaging. But, you satisfied the blood lust of the morons, so that is an achievement of note.

I really wanted to hear that Agnes and Jimmy went to prison. As an officer of the court, the judge would be obligated to turn the evidence of their crime over to the authorities.

The judge would have had them arrested for conspiracy to commit murder. He had their confession in his hand.

Okay, now that's how you do satire! Thanks for sharing.

Clearly judges in Texas don’t worry to much about conspiracy to commit murder, it’s just taken for granted that every Texan wants someone dead.

Strange stuff. As usual KB has an interesting idea, almost humorous in the beginning and then he turns it into a totally dark story.

Messed up dialogues like: "You took me to your buddies crib for a gangbang the first night you were here, and he didn't catch on." That is during fuck session in bed? Who talks like that. If you need to reveal something there are other ways to do that, instead of putting everything into moronic dialogues. Like this "Now, bring that beautiful black cock and fuck me in the ass."

It seems that BTB authors here are really fascinated with anal sex. It is always "she never did that with me and now she is giving it somebody else."

If aiming for stupid was the goal............congratz it was a bullseye.

The King has a wicked sense of humor with this one. He didn’t miss many LW cheating whore cliches except the black dildo wasn’t named Jamal.

"Hubby kills Jimmy, gets away with it," - No need for parody, classic self-defense.

\

I'm no legal expert, but I believe what Agnes and Jimmy did was a conspiracy to commit murder, which IS a crime.

comedy sytory i love..dis-reguard the interaital crap. it could be anything. very entertaining.

Made me smile⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Loved it, KingB!

That must be what they mean by "Texas Justice"

There should be a category for stories just like this one. That way I wouldn't have to go looking for them. This is ideal, except for the racist slant. All the assholes end up dead, Agnes agonizingly slow and painfully. What more could you really ask for?

Applause Applause Applause. I do so love redneck paybacks.

Best end for cheaters

Hilarious! Should have been posted in "Humor and satire", but 5 stars! Bravo!

I get the impression that all men in Texas are obsessed with beer, football and are as thick as shit

Betcha the redneck btb crowd is loving this drivel.

Well written,but in all, pretty stupid. She and Jimmy would have gone to prison for conspiracy to commit murder.

to; zippidydoodoo something; red neck drivel is 1- more true to life than the democrap elitist bend over and beg for the bbdick to do you next and 2- and much better than whiny democrap pussies slutting your corrupt whores(male and female) to all the diseased blk dick out there in the name of reparations or equity or just cuz yur all wimps. when bbc propaganda talks about white bois wanting to share their whores/sluts(significant others) lovers dick orally and anally,. they talking about scum like you. rk.

I changed my vote second time around, I pushed it up to 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

So you're trying to tell me a judge watched a vid of a woman and her lover plot to kill her husband and she wasn't arrested on the spot?

this was actually hilarious. I can't decide if it is a parody or if it was written by some dumb AI.

Wow!! Great Story! Loved it..

she had the right idea i mean come on a man who sits on his ass drinking beer and watching football all day every day is ripe for a wife to cheat on and by, the way the apple doesnt fall far from the tree, dear old dad is as mean spirited as they get, hell he didnt even give the home or business to his son. a big zero esp for making Texans out to be a bunch of racist, red neck, gun toting, dumb as rock loosers.

This is so over the top that it's good.

I had to take back some stars after reading your remark that makes it sound like cops just shoot people hands up or not. We need the police. If you haven't figured that out after the past three years then maybe you should move to Portland, Chicago, NYC or San Francisco.

Yes the cuckold came out on top. And he did even have to go after cheating Jimmy, as he came to him.

And as for needing the cops back, it way to far past that point. It’s time for everyday Americans to step up to the plate and take matters in to their own hands like the ex-husband had to do. Time for vigilanteeism to return now..

yeah, ditto on the cop remark, it spoiled an otherwise good BTB story. Needless comment...

Hilarious.

I really wish that these stories would stop showing men as football crazy, beer drinking slobs. Drinks a 6-pack during the game? It sounds like he drinks a 6-pack every night! That is a problem drinker.

Nobody can be that THICK

Oh hang on i guess the AUTHOR musr be!!

I'm not sure no real man would have forgiven her 1 she literally tried to cuck him right under his nose in his house and bed and scheme to have him killed hell no there's no chance of forgiveness that slut got everything she had coming to her she deserved every bit of it

I do have to agree with 1 comment the judge sit as well as everyone else watch the video and clearly heard her plotting with her lover to kill him any judge would have had both of them arrested on the spot

Well, seeing as it was meant to be funny... ok... but even in this bizarro world you've penned, conspiracy to commit murder, played out in front of a judge, is gonna send the two antagonists straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200

Unforgiving crap

Good story!

5