by FLrider
You need to expand, the story has great potential for at least 2 more chapters that could be longer. Other than that, 5 Stars.
I agree that this stopped too soon. We need at least one more chapter to cover the night, if not more story line beyond that.
I'd also like the sex scenes to be a bit more expository. The one so far seemed to be a tad light on details and therefore light on eroticism, as well.
A beginning, a middle and and end...
Good beginning, middle just started and you stopped.
Great start, give us the night and maybe more. Where does this end.
i love it, i love how short and simple it is, and the flow of the story. it does have some potential to deepen the connection and the story. you could make a follow up focusing on the night at the camp.
Very much enjoyed this story. I think it is very sensual. Becky made me want to make love with her. The story is good as a stand alone work but, it could easily be expanded on to describe how she induces him to make love with her again and how he makes love with her bringing them both to their orgasms and her reaction to having her pussy filled with his cum as well as his feelings on cumming inside her.