All Comments on 'Cousins and a College Party'

At first, I didn't see dialog when I skimmed over the story. I was going to comment on that. Then I went back and saw that you had dialog with absolutely no quotation marks.

Sorry, dude, but that makes it hard to read. Not to mention, you're another one of those people who doesn't know the difference between your and you're.

*1 star.

This is next to impossible to read because of format and punctuation. I'm amazed that it got posted in this condition. I didn't vote because I couldn't finish reading it without getting a headache.

This needs serious editing. It is littered with mistakes. Here are but a few.

"path's" should be "paths" - plurals never take apostrophes.

"lightening" is the act of making lighter; "lightning" is that stuff from the sky which accompanies thunder. I guess you meant the latter.

"made up" should be "make up"

dialogue should be in quotation marks.

and who the fuck is Heater?

I couldn't finish the story as good as the build up was because the dialogue had no quotations, hence no dialogue just a bunch of hearsay. Seriously get an editor.

I had no trouble at all reading this. The only problem I saw with this is your out of date. For many years there are cousins marrying cousins. The story would've been a lot better had you just rolled her on over and fucked her brains out. I hope there's a part 2 so you get another chance cause you blew it this time.

I`m sorry, but the grammatical make very difficult to read the tale. I supposed you are not a English native speaker.

I think is better if you ask for the help of an editor, correct the grammatical errors and post the story again. This tale have a possibility's to be a great tale, but only if you correct the grammatical errors. Don`t use automatic correctors, they don`t work if you don`t write like a English speaker.

I apologize for my English, is not my native language, but I try to write thinking in English, not in my native language.

I couldn't finish reading it crowd. I mean it sounded hot and like it would be a good story, but good grief you should have learned BASIC things about writing, like punctuation and proofreading in elementary school. I mean come on dude, quotation marks around what people say is just basic. If you want to be taken seriously, you need to upgrade your skills.

I'd suggest take the story down, either run it through an editor (plenty of options for that online) or let someone proofread and fix it for you and then repost

of course, once you say the words, cock, pussy, tits, and fuck, there are some morons who will say "great story man, keep up the good work" (see how I used the quotation marks there around what they say?)

As an editor I didn't see much wrong with your grammar or punctuation. There's probably small things that I missed not being editor mode though. Keep writing...How about a follow up

As previously mentioned - the lack of quotation marks when either was speaking made this story difficult to read for me.

he should have fucked her !! i dont really consider what they did as sex hope you make a part 2 where she wants more !!

It just ended with no promise of another chapter, etc.

Come to think of it, your ending resembled an "etc."

Having said that, I also, feel compelled to comment/find fault with your extensive lack of punctuation. You must employ quotation marks to afford people the ability to follow the story without needing to reread sentence after sentence. If the storyline/content hadn't been interesting, I never would have been able to finish.

If you had an editor, get a new one!

I gave you a "4" only because your storyline/content appealed to me.

If you had an editor, get a new one!

Hard to read without quotation marks for conversations.

Neat story. The lack of intercourse sorta threw cold water on it. Please learn how to punctuate; it just makes it come across more professionally written.

The theme of your story was very good, but it was hard to read. I am fairly sure that English is not your native language. I could only give it a three (3).

Yes, the story got better as you went forward !! The sex and playing between cousins were fine ! I hope you write another chapter and that the cousins sleep together again; alone - no visitors but this time make out and screw each other well a few times and finish what they started. Many possibilities. Thanks !

Can't wait for a sequel and full on passionate sex! Fabulous storyline, left me wet for more. Any competent reader would not have been bothered by lack of punctuation.... Not why I read "lit erotica", lol! Xx

It might be a good story but it's really hard to read because it has such poor punctuation. No quote marks to indicate speech.

Cousin couples have only a slightly higher incidence of birth defects than non-related couples. 26 states allow first cousin marriages; most people can marry their cousin in the US. ... No European country prohibits marriage between first cousins. It is also legal throughout Canada and Mexico to marry your cousin.

Don't know about the other comments, but I got into your story and didn't find it particularly difficult to read. I really hope you'll add some more chapters very soon!

Try some punctuation

Punctuation, especially for "quotes", is your friend ... Nice story, would be a "five" if it weren't so difficult to read ...

Great story. Waiting for next episodes!

To follow without the punctuation and the syntax. I couldn’t always figure out who was saying or doing what unless I read it 3 or 4 times.

I agree....tough read without punctuation

Man this story can go lots of ways . I am waiting for the next One . 5 Stars

I gave up on the story in the first paragraph because there's simply no way the author/narrator of this piece had any college education. Really hard to read with the spelling errors, grammar and lack of quote marks. Came here for a fantasy read and got a literary nightmare instead.

i recommend some, many, remedial english/grammer classes. if this was written by a 5th grader i would say good job.

I hate to disappoint you when you thought you wrote a very naughty story but it is legal for most American cousins to marry. I hope they realize that and fuck next time. Very sexy even without the fuck.

Actually, it legal for 1st cousins to marry in just under half of all states. In all states 2nd cousins on to 3rd, 4th and so on can marry with no issue. BUT, being legal does not free one form social stigma and the feelings of the families involved. So yeah, even though legal it can cause big familial issues.