Coven of Angels Ch. 03

"You were always such an affectionate baby. You'd fall asleep in my arms."

I rested my head on his chest, feeling the warmth of his heart. "That sounds nice."

He stroked my face like a gentle pet. "No matter what time of night I could rock you back to sleep. I wanted so badly to be a stay-at-home dad, just spend all day with you in my arms." His body flinched in pain, hinting at an impending seizure. "I could have been a good dad."

"You were a good dad," I said as I looked up to check on his oxygen levels. He seemed stable for the moment.

"Your mother said it wasn't normal; a woman was supposed to raise her children while a man works to support his family. And she refused to be married to someone who was less than a man. That's why you were two years old when I went to basic training. I'm fortunate she found it in her heart to drive to Missouri for my graduation."

Although scientifically impossible, I could remember that day. "It felt like you'd been gone forever. On the ride over, I slept with a photo of you, holding it like a stuffed animal. It got crumpled up really quick. The day we arrived, Mom got a crappy parking space and carried me to the parade grounds. There was already a crowd, with standing room only, and during the commotion I dropped my photo." I could feel tears in my eyes just thinking about it. "I remember my chest hurting. I was crying so hard mom had to walk me back to the car. This was absolutely stupid since the further we walked away the harder I cried."

My father nodded. "I was looking for you. I could hear a baby crying, and part of me hoped it was you."

"You found us in the parking lot," I said with tears in my eyes. My mother had not wanted to go back, she said that we were driving home if I (in the midst of my toddler tantrum) couldn't calm down. "When I saw you, my heart felt like it was going to explode with excitement. Mom had put me in the car seat, but it was barely secure."

My father started to laugh. "I remember you opened the door, and jumped out looking like some kind of mutant turtle."

I remember falling on my face. Trapped in the darkness of my car seat prison, I was sobbing like I was about to die. Then my father picked me up, lifting me in his arms. There was no yelling, fighting. He just held me close. I could feel his breath, his heart, the same as I was now. Richard Blake placed his hand upon my back, stroking his finger through my hair. I could feel his quivering breath: he was crying. Our connection was something deeper than parent and child. I loved him with every fiber of my being, the very essence of my soul.

"I remember." I felt a tightness in my chest, a sadness deeper than anything I've ever known. "I remember everything."