All Comments on 'Covet'

I know it's needed for the story, but if my girlfriend is dating other guys, there is NO way that I would accept that the kid is mine without testing.

@Nitpic, the lawyer was his ex-wife.

Much of this story strains credulity but it’s still fun. Reading again in summary. Even though he’s brilliant enough to be as good at trading stocks as Hillary was with cattle futures, he was a dumbass chump pussy with his first wife. Then he caught a break and lived happily ever after.

*cringing*

This guy... as I'm reading about him 'sharing' her with other men, and then he just accepts that he's the father of a child she may have gotten from God only knows how many other guys? He was already a pathetic loser, but after this, any concept of respect for him just dropped to the bottom of the latrine :(

The more I read, the more it is clear how this guy just laid down and asked to be kicked, 'please mistress, may I have another, and can you aim for my balls this time?'

Why should I sympathize with this yutz?

I was genuinely one more pathetic whiny flashback away from dropping a barely deserved 3 star and moving on before Jeannie and the kids showed up...

"

She moved next to me and we started kissing again. Within a few minutes, it was evident that I was ready to go again. Jeannie couldn't believe it, saying Richard was only good for one time a night; even when they were on their honeymoon. I rolled on top of her to remind her in so many ways how I was different from Richard.

So... why would she blow him to completion if she expected him to not be able to go again? She just figured they wouldn't have sex?

oh... *yawns* how pathetically boring.

First he's a loser who practically begged to be abused but then he's a trading god with a porn cock and billions of dollars and he owns everything yada yada yada.

Definitely not up to your standards from the first two stories.

what happened to his kids?

But Mark was a total wimp and got sucked into a con by the bitch Denise. Wtf, she's fucking every man and his brother and Mark the idiot accepts that he has knocked her up?! He sure had shit for brains! When finally his nose was GROUND into it, he woke up and grew a set.What a slut whore he decided to make his wife! Still an entertaining story. 5*s.

very satisfying.

Well written even though it is so improbable it nears impossible not even considering that Mark was a totally clueless idiot to believe and/or marry the slut Denise.

You get the feeling this guy is a wimp...and you don't get what he's doing untill you get to the end here...you get to see this guy is a closet genius...and you just got to love this guy...but the ending is a big let down...I don't like guessing what happens to his ex-wife...I want to read what happens to her and her asshole lover...after all this is a story about how she uses her husband....Right........

very good, paybacks a bitch! I love it

My nth reread. Still one of my very favorites. Always good for an ‘I need a pick-me-up’ kind of day. Thanks again.

I assume the retribution part was meant for the BTB people, but there was no need for it since he got ended up with more than he could have imagined.

This is a good story. I would have liked to have Denise, Starling & their kids come to fully understand his situation at the end.

Cannot fault it really but perhaps a bit more detail on his revenge on his ex.

5 stars

Again another good story. I love the ending his ex got what she deserved.

I have trouble with this one. He's been a goofily-trusting, pussy-whipped cuckold for the better part of 20 years--and for the first two to three of those years, he knew she was screwing other guys while they dated in college, yet still did not think to get the first kid DNA-tested before he married her--and then he suddenly has $400 million a few years after divorcing her. I can't see the foundation for the conclusion. Frankly, if he's got that much money and is giving her firm that much business, he could easily get her and the boyfriend fired, too, instead of denied partnership.

And I'm confused about the mortgage fraud. I would have thought the marital home was already sold. I thought I read that on page 2: "Despite her having the higher paying job, she insisted that I was not entitled to an equitable division of the marital assets. What was hers was hers and what was mine was mine. Except for that money pit called a house. Even though she never paid a penny on the house; she expected to get 50% of that asset when it was sold. In other words, I would be out $400,000 dollars. I wonder how she reacted when she immediately received back the draconian property settlement agreement with my signature attached with no protest."

I can't figure out why the hero's name was still on the mortgage. Maybe I just missed it, but they've been divorced for years, and he doesn't live there, so I can't see why that house wasn't already sold.

A Good, pay backs are a bitch! Story!

This was sorta good, couldn't get over how someone could be so clueless for 20 years. Still when I read he had over 400 million and owned several properties and a bunch of other shit in the span of 3 years. Well the reality train just jumped the track got wings and out flew the piggies and out jumped the cow going over the moon. This would have been so much better if he had suspected then systematically amassed and planned his way out of the situation.

Big plot hole regarding why he never tried to connect with his kids ever again.

And please...guy is now worth $400M and owns banks?

Nevertheless...a decent tale worth 3***

I wanted an extended conclusion or at least a sequel showing the revelation to the ex.

Bill

Ending was kinda rushed and no real explanation on how he got so much money; one thing too, Denises's behavior at the beginning was a huge red flag, a simple paternity test wouldn't be out of the question; her behavior later on was also a little ridiculous not to be suspicious of.

3 for this story. Simply too many plot holes, too much on business and too little on main character development.

That's the way a bitch, her asshole partner, and their family should be burnt. His new family is wonderfully loving and his remodeled house sounds absolutely beautiful.

Wonderful tale, O!

Great story, but are you going to finish the rest of the alphabet stories?

A good story that could have been great if Denise had come to realize the actual impact of her cheating as detailed on the last page. Instead she likely thought of he losses as just misfortune without really seeing how well off her ex was. Too bad, or it could have been a 5.

5/5. Top shelf shit.

I agree with Anonymous, it would have been that much better, although it’s great, if Denise could know who engineered her downfall.

There are a few.

For example; Why would he need to block her making partner, if he was getting her disbarred anyway?

Then there's the second mortgage. Why would they need to forge his signature to get a second mortgage on a house that he had already signed over to her in the divorce? She owned the house outright after that, so his signature had nothing to do with it. It's like forging your neighbors signature on your own checkbook; pointless.

There's also his making $400 million in the stock market. When an individual makes that kind of money in a short period of time, it gets looked at. The FCC and the IRS are not idiots.

Burn Bitch Burn!

*****

Nice story, but the over the top magical ending ("little did they know I had become GOD!" almost) is just silly.

A lesser oshaw story.

Enjoy all the stories oshaw, 5 stars. For the detractors what part of fiction don't you get. Maybe some things are to the excess but YOU can correct those things when YOU write a story. There is quite a difference between writing a 1 or 2 sentence comment vs a whole story. As a long time reader I'm content with just as is!

His magical success was too much. And it would have been nice to know exactly what happened to the ex and her flunky in greater detail!

Just wish we got Denise's reactions to all of her troubles called out at the end.

Too hopeless. Too whipped. Too cruel. When you can't say "no", then you have no life of your own. Who wants to read about that? No tension, no conflict and all for no reason: she never showed a single thing to be thankful for. BLAH!

LWlurker

I was thinking... if he moved there just a year ago, and worked non-stop either on his job or on the house, when did he have time to get so chummy with so many neighbors and do them favors he can collect?

The final reveal explained it: he bought their friendship.

Your story had a really good plot and I liked the character development.

Please let me share with you the things that I've found in this that kept you from getting 5 stars from my valuation.

No man with half a brain, and this man had a few of them, would put up with the kind of abuse and one side of relationship this man did for 20 years.. I mean,come on really?

This story suffers from a commonality of all these types of stories, Namely the man falls deeply in love with the girl within 2 weeks and professes love his love and wants to get married. Naturally the girl's goes down the same path just as fast.

Again really? Why not write in something like this "2 or 3 years went by and we gradually fell in love with each other da da da".

5 stars, even though the last part of the story about being so rich kind of jumped the shark. The end was a classic example of a BTB story. Just rubbing the new house and new GF/wife in Denise's nose would have sufficed.

Still, I really like your style of writing and your storyline. It's easy to read.

I've read 4 of your stories now, and you're really good.

I went back and saw you abruptly quit posting new stories in 2017. Too bad, but life intervenes sometimes. You are quite the author, thanks for your works.

I enjoyed the story but hope this guy never actually works on any project or home anyone I like or am related to owns, worse work terminology ever.

A rather ridiculous tale of naivety, revenge and romance that doesn't quite hold up to scrutiny. Well written and moderately entertaining but not one of this author's best.

LA

hicountryrider - WHY would such an expert not have even one story of your own? I know my limitations, obviously you don't know yours. I'll side with oshaw, he put himself out there. you only showed your *ss!

Thank you oshaw, 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

way too much telling. not enough showing. this reads more like a travel log than a story ("he did this then she did this" is not really that interesting to us readers). with so little dialog and character interaction we barely get any investment into these characters. dramatic events should be dramatic. there is no drama here. just a timeline of stuff that affected our narrator.

the usage of first person perspective is entirely wasted here. first person should be highly subjective in the way it's written. the narrator of this has no distinct voice or outlook on anything nor anyone (the meat and potatoes of 1st person is the unique lens the reader is perceiving the world and events in it through. if it's done well the reader will see things through the narrators eyes that the narrator themself misses). the more objective third person perspective would've been much better for this (but this story would still have been a travel log).

i will say despite all the problems this is well written. 3/5 (and yes i am a Lit author too)

I don't understand how someone has the audacity to critique anonymously. If you were a writer, you would have the decency to attach your OPINION to your name. This story has been out about 8 years, and I find myself coming back to read it and others from this author, time and again. You don't like it? Just say it's not your type of story. You were searching for something- this wasn't it. But... you were searching. Move on and find it elsewhere. That's the beauty of Literotica. Too bad we can't get rid of the waste of effort you chose to memorialize.

He should have let Denise know how much he was worth and that he had stopped her making partner.

Excellent story but you could have written more about Mark and Jeannie

I have read hundreds of these LW cheater stories. in some, the wife has a single affair and almost has me putting my fist through the monitor. Here, this was arguably the most devastating torching of a husband over 20 year period, yet , somehow I didn't really "feel" it. I think, as was mentioned before, at may have been the telling, instead of showing via dialog, of the relationships. I applaud the author for creeping the torture slowly over the years. The carrot was held just out of the MC's reach again and again while the misery and innuendo progressed. We, as the readers were again told of the wife's implied failings. We did not "witness" the MC discovering them, thus creating emotional distance b/t us and the story. I don't think DNA testing was around 20+ years ago, so MC had to either move on or roll with it.

How would have been the outcome if. …. MC wouldn’t have the MONEY ?!

It’s always a game changer when money is in abundance, makes it easier and also leaves an aftertaste on the story.

Two to three stars. Writer has better ones.

Captcha

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Oh, sweet. 5*

What a hoot! I laughed all the way through this story of beta-boy's complete degradation all the way to his climb to fabulous wealth and power. This may well be the most melodramatic potboiler on this site!

The authors heart is revealed in his compassionate stories. Nice guy finish last, but best.

A little bumpy in the ending. Nobody worth 400 million has enough to own a bank. Could have been one of 3-5 partners. How did the ex come up with 100K if she was under inditement? Would have liked for her, her asswipe husband and the kids to learn all of this before he shut the door on them, but still love how he bounced back and didn't let her selfishness beat him. Too bad it took him 20 years to get off the dime.

A little different, but a satisfying conclusion. A shame this writer stopped display their talent here. I'm sure they'd be welcome back and have about 30 others dropped from here in their place.

The story was of course good as is the other ten. Anonymous from 20 days ago though is a good example of 'less said the better'. I doubt any bank is owned by one person; it WOULD be owned though by having controlling interest. As far as the rest he/she needs to quit speed reading, fewer mistakes might be made.

Thank you oshaw where ever you are.

I liked this one a lot. It took him a while but he finally got his pound of flesh. Payback really is a bitch. Good story, oshaw, thanks.

Skank Denise and her parents are trailer park trash!! This stupid wimp should have had the DNA tests done immediately

HIS GRANDMOTHER HAD MORE BRAINS THAN THE STUPID WEAK WIMP BY INSISTING ON A PRENUP WHILE THE SKANK DENISE RAILROADED HIM

MR CUCK SIGNED THE DIVORCE PAPERS YET RAISED LITTLE BASTARD CHIKDREN THAT WAS NOT HIS YET HE DID NOT CLAIM FOR THE DECEPTION AND SUE!!

JUST ANOTHER WEAK WIMP CUCKOLD HUSBAND

THE END COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER....OWNING EVERY HOUSE ON THE BLOCK, HAVING OVER 400M, OWNING A BANK....REALLY OVER THE TOP UNBELIEVABLE

O...K, I felt a 5 but gave a 4. Like the #1 singles that I, as QuickMagazine, noted come way too easily in so many LW stories (this in comments on Hooked's "Music Of My Life"), ridiculous day-trading fueled net worth increases are also too often featured in these things. The plot here would have been the same without Jeanie's dinky little account swiftly growing to $2,000,000, and Mark's net worth becoming $400,000,000. $200,000 for Jeanie and $4,000,000 for Mark would have been just as impressive, and more realistic. Still, loved the overall story arc, and regret that oshaw stopped at K.

I've read only two so far. I'm sorry you have ended, writing Best wishes... etc., if you are around to read this, or not.

I was liking the story until you had to go and shit on it with his absolutely unreal financial success.

Look, sure, make him a multi-millionaire, but don't be ridiculous about it.

The other thing that pisses me off about most stories where the husband moves on is that not only does he nearly universally get a woman with some sort of baggage, it's always some ridiculously convenient entrance into his life. Either a secretary, a neighbor, the wife of the cheater, the sister of the wife, etc, and then he becomes her white knight somehow and that love is smooth sailing. It's never some rich hot thing.

Fuck me but that gets boring to read after a few repetitions and iterations. We're already in fantasy-land so why always make the next woman one with baggage.

Not your best. You made the mc such a weak, stupid tool that it instead of being sympathetic, he became a despicable character who deserved how his 1st wife treated him.

Then he miraculously gets a gorgeous neighbor and is able to solve every problem she has. He has friends to help like the hydro guy and Uhaul and can repair anything and then easily makes hundreds of millions of dollars in no time.

What would a chapter 2 bring? Would he solve world hunger and cure cancer?

Dude... Its a nice story... But the stupid guy never thought of refuting that the child was not his? She was dating other guys and when she said it was his, he accepted? Bulshit... That's the only bad thing about this story...

And there we have another example of a simp, wimp, doormat. No back-bone and no level of basic intelligence. She was a slut whilst they were going out and he rolled over and accepted it all. I love how so many MC's are written as smart and savy, yet are so utterly idiotic. Couldn't read past the middle of the second page.

Like the story bid bad characters. The wife is a sloth should have asked for a paternity teat. Second he should have sued for back child support and had her charged with having him pay for and raise for 2 kids that are not his. As for the kids what worthless little turds to turn their backs on the man that raised them. Took care of them when they were sock took them to school and all the parent related items.

This is not a criticism of your stories or the way you present them as overall you are a very gifted writer, my only criticism is that you take a great deal of effort to construct your stories bit race to a completion in one chapter where the stories really need to be expanded to completion in a more orderly fashion. There is NO doubt that you will make it as a successful author. Please let us followers know what name you are published under so we can at least purchase you written efforts. As always 5 stars.

A decent work from an otherwise amazing author. Not sure why the MC didn't get a paternity test when she got pregnant. He knee they were not exclusive. His grandmother had misgivings. But what really soured things was thr kids. He was their father. Kids, even self centered ones, don't do what they did. And his net worth became absurd. Really? Of course it was well written. It is Oshaw. Still your other stories are better.

I can see that if you are deeply in loved with soemone, you get blindsided. And yes he should have discreetly gotten a paternity test on the first kid. But when she turns up at 10 am thr next day on her graduation and then argues tooth and nail about it with no apology; that is when you get a PI. Also all the financial abuse was stupid. Would any husband really put up with that? Then the part where she ridicules him about the McMansion and goes to Chicago taking the kids? Well he had lost his balls by then for sure. Ignoring the paternity issue of Susan, I can see that he would be blind while she went to law school and studied for the bar. He loved her, trusted in her love (though her personality sounds execrable), had two kids, and made sacrifices. But when she graduated and didn't come back home til next morning with a lame excuse and then no apology but just went nuclear, the choice was clear: hire a PI. She would have been caught soon enough with Paul. Ironic that she was faithful (more or less) while in Dallas but then all thr financial abuse. Man the MC was weak and pussy-whipped.

I like your stories, but always wonder why I don’t know any husbands as naive as the MC.

"Now I focused in placing the 2 x 4 x 10 feet pine boards into a vertical parallel pattern with 16 inches intervals between the studs. Then came the horizontal 2 x 4 x 10's; one on top, the other two on bottom. Using my measuring tape I determined it was square and went to each stud driving nails from the power hammer securing the studs into the frame."

Unfortunately, tbis us common fare and you tried to write as if you even knew what a board is. What you describe are not boards. 16" is O.C./ On Center. Distance between is not used except to cut fireblocks, and that would be 14.5". Power Hammer?!? How about, Nail Gun. Good story, but the beginning almost sank it. You tried too hard to add detail about something that a decent fraction of guys do know, and you did not in any way. No offence - just a constructive criticism.

My second time reading this one, a Great Story! Loved it!

Talented writer BUT totally unrealistic.

"I was responsible for paying the rent, our cars, the household budget, our student loans and every other expense under the sun." - I'm sorry, I know that this is old news, and it's needed for the plot, but this adds stupidity on top of insult and injury! First, he stops paying HER student loans and HER car payment. Pay HALF the rent each month, let her deal with the eviction warnings, she's the fancy-pants lawyer and all! There's not much he can do about basic household expenses, but he can keep groceries to the basic, don't make enough dinner for her to have any, etc., etc.

\

"I found myself signing paperwork to purchase a house I didn't like; in a neighborhood I didn't like; paying the required dues to a country club I didn't like." - Don't fucking sign, sheesh.

Mundane.

Wow this bloke has all the luck, this should have been put in fantasy⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Basically an unrealistic story, tho well written but too long of the history with what would be wife #1. He paid all the expenses- home, utilities, etc., & she refused to help or even tell him how much she's making. Solution's simple- he stops paying for her stuff. Especially the student loan!

--- When she wants to move into the larger house that he doesn't want, he shouldn't be a wimp & tell her it's not happening. At a serious time before that, she stopped respecting him as a man & husband. He shouldn't give her any thought.

--- One thing missing big time, up to then, is communication. She wants what she wants (her money's her's, mine is negotiable) & he just stupidly accepts it. NO!! He should sit her down demanding she pay many of the costs & tell him how much she makes. Nothing less will do. That didn't happen.

--- At the inlaw's house, seeing his kids run away & his wife on the lap of her lover, he did nothing except call a cab. Should've told the mother in law that's she's a bitch for accepting what her daughter's doing. Also tell his wife she's dead to him. That, after taking a video of everything. He could tell them he's just ending a call.

--- That he turns a relative pittance to $$ multi-million & end up owning companies, banks, houses, people's souls (lol) stretches the believability of the story. Nice, but becomes too much- even in this fictionalized story.

--- Lastly, when she & her lover with their kids arrived at the house near the end of the story, they shouldn't have been let in. Just tell her she betrayed/ disrespected him; the kids being told since they want their spearm-donor's father's name so badly, he doesn't give a shit about them. They disgraced him as he was the one changing their diapers & caring for them, not this other guy.

--- Glad that he found somebody worthy- well, they both found someone worthy- in this well written story. Tho I feel pretty unrealistic, unless the husband's a total spineless wimp, the writing/ interest in the story leads to 3 stars, because I can't get over the far fetchness of everything. Bob

Of course, I missed writing something (in all that!) that I just posted. The big one: as his family went to the sperm father, & they all admitted it, he should've sued for back child support. Seriously! He paid years to have the shits he called children not only happy to go to Chicago with their mother, but change their last names. That should be unforgivable. Along with his wife's not apologizing at all for her adultery.

--- I see in comments he should've asked for a paternity/ DNA test. However, to my reading, it was before realizing everything & had no reason to doubt his wife. Again, at the door wanting to make a deal on his grandmother's house, he shouldn't have even let them in, just slam the door in their face.

--- And again, she wouldn't help with expenses of tell how much she's making. That's pure bullshit, & he should've grown a pair & tell her that her student loans, car, among other expenses is her's to pay, that he refuses in the future. (THAT really upsets me, so to speak.) Again, Bob

Far fetched, unrealistic especially the ending. From watching costs to his basement flooring to being worth 400 mil within a year!!??

Arguably the best writer to ever grace these pages. Be well, my friend. Randi.

this guy needed a break after the Thanksgiving welcome at the in-laws with replacement hubby & dad in place.

I enjoyed the story. Thank you! It’s nice to see the good guy win for a change. LM

One of oshaw’s best. I hope he’s still writing, somewhere. He’s to good not to be.

I crack up reading all the hysterical comments on this website with people writing how the story should be told differently, with hubby being tougher. There are so many paper Tiger losers commenting here it’s actually funny. My challenge to you bunch of life losers is to stop complaining and write your own stuff if you think be authors here are too wimpy. Oh yeah right, that would actually require a work ethic plus literacy, which in little to no supply amongst you losers. Great job O’Shaw. Keep writing and ignore the fake tough guys, who I guess take some respite from the pounding they get in teal life to roar like paper tigers here. You’re a winner; them — losers. Ignore them and keep writing great stuff.

Great story. I hope you did not quit writing because of the dumb comments. Why did he not check on his first wife? Love is blind. I have seen many smart men not realizing that their wife was not what she seemed. It is easy for a wife to keep a husband satisfied. And then go out and satisfy another 10 guys after hubbie falls asleep. I am nasty and suspicious and I would have checked DNA and her whereabouts graduation night but others would just trust their wife.

Why not BtB? He did. Broke and disbarred? And no 8 inch cock?

The four hundred million was in his brokerage account. His other investments - a bank, a city block of high end homes both are separate holdings.

The four hundred million? Warren Buffett went from starting brokerage guy $12,000/yr with a new family and a mortgage on a house in 1954 to his first million in 1962, then to billionaire in 1990 and to over 100 billion today. I think that is 250 times our MC's brokerage account. And probably 100 time his net wealth.

Criticisms - Pendulous definition "hanging down" hardly matching the further description of Jeanne's breasts. And grinded would be ground. If oshaw came back I am sure there would be editors available. Please come back, your stories are great.

Another great romance story

5/5 boy, u are a great author.

Great Story!! loved It!!

Great story, since it is fictional guess the unbelievable about the $2mill and 400 million is mute.

Excellent writer, but not this story. Big Meh.. Might want to look up the words cavalry and calvary; big difference.

A complete fairytale, but fun nonetheless.

Went off the rails at the end. Went from a nice fictional tale to a "Twilight Zone" ending....

This story just didn't work for me, even in a fictional standpoint. A husband that would roll over like that and then have the balls or education to make even the 2 million was just a little to far.

this man FULLY DESERVED to be used like he was. He was a complete fool. Some random, certifiable hoe tells you she's pregnant and you don't even ask for a paternity test. he deserved it, his ex wife was very clever pulling a sucker like him, good for her and her efforts

Too many clichés. Also, MC was way to weak and then oh he's a multimillionaire and destroys his wife, her love, etc.. Story just seemed to clip and paste clichés.

Too start I really liked this story and gave it 5 stars, although it has some flaws but still a good read. One major flaw was how weak the husband was and he let himself be rolled over by the Harpy. Another flaw is while they saw his home and new family they never did get to know how much of a loser they are compared to him. Finally it is minor thing but the piano. Ok his ex-daughter would have loved to have a piano like that and she was sad to see it and it not be hers, but why did he get it? Maybe to drive home the piano, he could have said to his daughter "Kay" your piano instructor will be late today.

Plot has more loops than a knitted sweater, timeline doesn’t make any sense at all and $400million makes you a good bank customer, not an owner.

Despite all this (or maybe because of it) I loved it. Great fun to read and pretty sure Oshaw had tongue firmly in cheek whilst writing.

To go from $2m to $400m in a couple of years is some might impressive trading 🤔 but it's still a great story 😀

Thanks, oshaw, for a very entertaining story.

Five stars.

MC's post-split wealth is too fantastical.

Thanks for your writing.