Craig's Bad Habit

"You're just the sweetest man, Craig." Audi rubbed Craig's cock gently as he lay in her bed. "I'm really glad you understand about Bumpers."

Audi had been dating Craig for some months. He was prosperous, witty, and he spoiled her to death. She'd tried to stop seeing Bumpers, who most certainly was not much of anything, except for a fun screw.

When Craig found out that Audi was still seeing her old boyfriend, he was terribly understanding. He was thrilled that his little peroxide blonde princess loved him as well...

"But you know, there's more." Craig said to Audi as she raked her blue nails up and down his stiffening cock. "I think I'd be even more excited by you if I didn't, you know, jerk off between dates."

Audi snorted and slapped Craig's arm playfully. "All you guys jerk off. I understand. That fucking ass Bumpers cheats on me, and once I caught him with my sister."

Craig gave Audi a deep kiss. "But you know, Audi-I think it would be better for me if I just focused on you. I don't know if I can control myself, but I really want to try." Craig turned Audi over on her stomach and began giving her one of his amazing massages.

"What do you want, to be punished for messing up or something?" Audi giggled when she said this, but Craig had asked Audi to spank him the week before. She was wearing this hot little dress that apparently reminded him of a teacher he had a crush on once...

He'd taken off his pants and undies and lay across Audi's lap and she'd removed one of her ballet flats and whacked Craig's rump until he'd begun weeping a little. Then she'd apologized profusely, the poor baby, but he'd ended up stripping her dress off and going down on her, and then giving her a massage very much like this one.

"It might be what I need." Craig said apologetically. " Just a couple of years ago, I hired a lady to teach me piano, and when I didn't practice at home, Serendipity-that was her name-started getting pissed off."

As Craig told Audi this story, his fingers worked their way into her shoulders and she began purring like a kitten. She tried to picture the piano teacher.

"This was a grumpy old lady, right?"

"No, Serendipity is about twenty-eight-ten years younger than I was at the time, she was a cute redhead but a little manic, and I could understand why she was annoyed, since I had plenty of time to practice, and had a baby grand at home..."

Craig rubbed harder on Audi's back. If he wasn't a real estate developer, Audi thought, he'd be a great masseur, she thought. But it was great she had the best of both worlds. How many massage therapists could have afforded to take her to France?

"So, finally, Seri got really mad when I forgot again where the Middle C was, and she took a belt out of her piano bench, which had a cover on it, and she made me undress and she really whipped me hard."

"You-did you prosecute her for assault?"

But of course he didn't. Craig was a weird, weird guy.

The next time they got together, Craig confessed to Audi that he had broken down and jacked off again.

"But I thought about you the whole time, I fantasized that you were wearing your tight skull and crossbones tee shirt, and you took it off and let me kiss your boobs, but then you punished me."

"Well, you'll have to be punished." Audi said briskly.

"When we get home, sure." They were in a bistro.

"No, you're coming back with me to the Ladies Room, and we'll deal with it there."

Craig looked a little shocked, and sat back.

"Don't argue with me, Craig. If I have to drag you to the restroom by the ear, you bet I will."

It was to Craig's good fortune, perhaps that the women's room in that particular restaurant was a one-seater. The toilet was right out in the little room, and once Audi shut the door, she began pulling Craig's belt out of the loops in a businesslike way.

"You're going to hit me with my belt?"

"You can take it. You had your precious Serendipity hit you with a strap, didn't you?"

"I-I think-"

"Shut up, and pull down your pants."

"I might make noise."

"You're right. Take off your pants and your tighty whities, and I'll gag you with them."

"Gag me with my Fruit of the Looms? I've got skid marks in these, Audi-"

There seemed to be a tremendous racket in the women's room of Desmond's Deluxe, and diners looked somewhat startled when the little redhead in the sundress from Betsy Johnson's walked out, clicking her high heels, followed by her snuffling paramour, who was rubbing his rear end.

When they got to the table, the redhead picked up her purse and turned to leave.

"Audi, what's up? We haven't finished our food."

"I'm leaving, I'm going to get an Uber, and go see Bumpers. He knows how to treat a woman."

"But-"

"Just pay the bill and go home, Craig. You can BEAT YOUR MEAT."

And with that, the girl stalked out, and Craig asked for the check. He was blushing as the young men and women at the bar were giggling, and the waiter was taking his time bringing back the Platinum Visa.

At one point, Craig sat down at the table, but then got back up quickly. He rubbed his bottom and gritted his teeth.

"What's wrong, buddy? Can't wait to go home and beat your meat?"

What a little punk. Why can't people mind their own business?

But curiously, when Craig got back to his own house, the light was on, and when he got in, there was Audi. He was overjoyed to see her, sitting on the couch bent over slightly so her cleavage was just-intensely bosomy.

"You-you're here."

"Yes, lucky you, Craig. I have a key, remember?"

Craig had a habit of falling in love fast, and he'd given out his housekey before early in a relationship, several times, and he'd also been burglarized a lot...

"I-I'm so sorry, Audi. I didn't think you'd take it this badly."

Audi cocked her head and smiled, her rosebud lips, pouty just earlier, and now divine.

"Craig, I probably lost my temper too quickly. Take off your clothes, I know you left your underwear in the bathroom." Remembering the skid marks, Audi hurriedly told him to go in the bathroom, and take a shower, use a LOT of mouthwash, and meet her back in the living room.

"Just in your towel, babe. I want to make up."

For the next hour, things were nice. Craig bathed quickly, and gargled, and came back into the living room hesitantly. But now Audi had stripped down to her bra and panties...

The print on her bikini lingerie was that of a thousand lipsticked kiss marks, and he dropped the towel.

Audi giggled at Craig's bobbing organ. Didn't jerk off today, I guess.

Audi told Craig to sit down on his hands. She leaned over and began necking with him, and running her fingers up and down his growing organ. They necked and kissed for some time.

At some point, Craig's hand came up to touch her breast bursting as it was out of the kiss laden brassiere, and Audi slapped him.

"Didn't I tell you to keep your hands under your bottom?" Audi asked with gritted teeth. "Now get up and go stand in the corner. I'm going to have a cigarette."

As Craig walked to the corner, harder than ever, he heard Audi say "And keep your hands behind your back. I don't want you toying with yourself over there."

Craig stood for ten minutes in the corner, and finally Audi called him back over, and he sat down next to her on the couch again.

"Do you still see Serendipity for your lessons?"

"Yes, I can now play Billy Joel's "Honesty" with only a few mistakes."

"Bet that took a lot of whippings, didn't it?"

"Y-yes, it did."

Audi smirked and pointed at Craig's baby grand piano. "Some time you'll have to play it for me, and I have a good ear, too."

Craig swallowed, hard.

Audi giggled, and flicked a spark from her Virginia Slim into Craig's crotch, and he squealed.

"Wow. You really are quite the soprano. It' s like I've borrowed Tweety Bird from the Sylvester cartoons. 'I tought I taw a puddy cat."

She was a cruel mimic, Audi, Craig thought bitterly.

"Now we're going to try again. Kiss me, you fool!"

And Craig did better, he kept his hands under his ass, but as things got more passionate, he began rubbing his narrow chest against Audi's, and again she slapped him.

"I feel like I'm being violated. I think I'm just going to go home." Audi said sharply.

"No, no please. Don't go..."

"I'm leaving. Craig, I don't have time to go out with you again until next Friday. I advise you not to masturbate again, at least not to orgasm."

"But what will I do if..."

"Call me if it gets too hard, and I'll try to help you out."

A couple of nights later, Audi and Bumpers were smoking after a hot session. They were in a motel room that Audi had paid for, as Bumpers's wife was on the prowl these days.

Suddenly Audi's cell rang.

"Who th' fuck is that?" Bumpers was often worried that his wife or one of his other numerous girlfriends had Audi's number.

Audi answered it. "Oh hi, Craig, how's it going?" She paused.

As she listened, Audi idly reached over and began stroking Craig's dick. Craig responded by lightly pinching one of her bare breasts.

"I know, I know, baby. I thought you were going to put the Net Nanny on that porn." She smiled. "Oooh, you were thinking of me?"

Bumpers was not a man of thought, but he had a vague memory that "Craig" had been on the card-one of those Platinum Visa things-that Audi had used to pay for the room here at the Skeevy Scotsman Inn.

"Listen, Craig. If I have to, I'll come over there and cut a switch off the willow tree in your front yard, and lash your pee-pee until it's tiny and in a lot of pain." Audi's voice became very brisk.

Bumpers became somewhat amused. What kind of freak is this Craig? Must have a job, the Visa and all. Bumpers couldn't get a job, 'cos of the shoplifting charge. Mostly the judge was mad at what Bumpers did to the fat little security guard who stopped him with the stolen headphones.

"Now I want you to go into the kitchen and put some ice cubes on your dick, and then watch something not sexy, like a nature special, there's something on rhinos on Channel 33."

"But he might get off on rhinos, Audi, has he met your mother?" At this sally, Bumpers laughed so hard, he fell off the bed, with some help from Audi's foot.

Bumper climbed back on the bed to hear Audi soothing the disturbed caller.

"I love you so much, Craig, but you have to keep your hands above your waist, hon."

Suddenly Bumpers snatched the phone from Audi and shouted into it.

"You stop choking your chicken, you little faggot, or Audi will bring me over there and I'll beat your ass myself. Got that?"

Audi's head came close to the phone that Bumpers held. She reached for it, but he easily caught her slim wrists in one hand.

"Y-yes sir, I'll be a good boy."

"Goddamn right. Masturbation is a sin and if you're over twenty and you haven't gotten some cooze by now, you're a good for nothing little sissy. Why don't you go out and buy some makeup and put it on and be a faggot for someone else."

"Yes sir." The phone went off.

"He sounds like such a freak, Audi. Can't you find someone normal to um, borrow their credit card?"

But Audi was laughing too hard to answer.