Cranberry Girlfriend 01

Cranberry Girlfriend 01

Listen folks, I was originally going to title my stupid story as Wishbone Boyfriend, but as it had turned out, I never had the chance to role play a good Wishbone Boyfriend. And I'm most certainly not the Cranberry Girlfriend either, so all I can say is that when your step sister asks you for some cash so that she move to California, well, just do it and save yourself a lot of embarrassment.

Anyways, I have no idea how this stuff happens. I mean, I live my life well enough and I mostly keep my fem self as low key as possible, but for some reason, my step sister Tasha just can't leave things alone. I mean, all I did was to plan a very simple "after Grandma's" Thanksgiving snack dinner mixer that would include the basic holiday foods and the evening football game for a few of my friends who haven't abandoned me and somehow, Tasha felt that she had an open invitation. I mean, she did, of course because she's an amazing step sister, but still, right? I had everything all planned out and then, boom, there needs to be a slight change of plans.

"There, you see, step bro, it's a tie. You take care of the light holiday themed food and beverages, the sports thingy on the TV and the seating arrangements and I'll take care of the invite list, so?"

"Well, you've never let it be a tie with me, Tasha, so keep talking."

"Fine, I mean, I invited Troy for you, Josh for me (and your friend Talia and her plus one), so see? It's just a small "after Grandma's" holiday mixer, so."

"I mean, I mean, I mean, why would you say that you invited Troy over for me then, Tasha?"

"Oh please, Troy is your secret Kissy Face boyfriend and everyone knows that, so."

"I mean, we were talking about you and how you're taking over and all, so???"

"Fine, Josh and I have been talking a little on the side and your little nerd friend might be wearing me down just a little, so I thought I might be his Cranberry Girlfriend for one night, so."

"Oh, I mean, Cranberry Girlfriend or Cranberry Wife then, Tasha?"

"Oops, just his Cranberry Girlfriend for one night. I'm not sleeping with Josh, yet, so (but watch your other friend Talia and you know, clean up your back bedroom for her)."

"Well, you don't even have a Cranberry Girlfriend costume anyways Tasha, so."

"Oops, I mean, I may or may not have taken a drive out to your freaky clothing store in Hillsdale, so."

"OMG, I mean, what did you say to the work staff then?"

"Oh, um, that was the easy part. Tori asked what I was looking for and then I said that I had plans to be a Cranberry Girlfriend for one night (and then she said I needed a trim and that my nipples looked dry), so."

"Well, since you probably charged it my account, I mean, what did Tori say?"

"Oh, well, she said that she could pull me together a great Cranberry Girlfriend outfit and then before I knew it, I was pinned in the dressing room with her and when I emerged, I was decked out in a holiday table cloth themed red, black and green pleated skirt that is basically illegal to wear outside, logo red thong undies and a shimmering leotard body suit that will contain what she called my mega milkers, just as long as I didn't do any jumping jack exercises and a pair of club server style sheer stocking pantyhose, black fishnets, red fishnets and green fishnets, so. Also, well step bro, um, you might to hang out more in the kitchen with Troy because it's quite the Cranberry Girlfriend outfit and maybe just a little more than a step bro should see on his step sister, so."

"See? See? Where is the tie here the, Tasha?"

"Look, Billie Jo, you're great at entertaining, so just do that and you know, don't be so afraid to be Troy's Wishbone Boyfriend or something. You won't die and I'm well beyond judging, so."

"Well, Troy seems happy with the weak way things are, so."

"Ah, NO, no he's probably not happy with the way things are, so."

"I mean, we were talking about how you mumbling about Talia and all, so."

"Hmmm, sorry about that one Billie Jo, but Talia is a woman and she has a few less opportunities than most women of her age and it wouldn't kill you to help her out if you're not going to make an honest woman out of her yourself, so just clean up your back bedroom and let life move forward. Oh, um, well, I took her with me to the clothing store, so if you're not used to seeing her legs and all."

"OMG, you made Talia into a Cranberry Girlfriend too?"

"LOL, of course silly, she going to look more like, well, let's get back on track here, so is it a tie and I win or what, Billie Jo?"

"Well, I'm not playing favorites with Troy in front of everyone and I'm not cleaning up the back bedroom so that my friend Talia can be a?????"

"Fine, Talia will be more of a Football Girlfriend, so. But she's cute as hell, Billie Jo, so let it go. And yes, you will play Troy's favorite Wishbone Boyfriend and yes you will clean up your back bedroom and yes, you will start to release my trust fund cash, so."

Oh, right, fine, Tasha won two out of three, but that's as far as it goes!

Anyways, true to my word, I mean, I made sure that Troy knew he was invited and I may or may not have straightened up the back bedroom a little and I may or may not have re-arranged the living room furniture for the best viewing of the football game and I may or may not have increased my food order from the Deli, but that was it! I mean, well, I ran out to Hillsdale myself to get a new outfit for Troy, I mean for myself, but that was it!

"Oh, holy I couldn't step outside snap, Tori! I can't wear these shorts in front of my friends."

"Well, you said you wanted the Wishbone Boyfriend look, Billie Jo, so."

"Oh, I mean, I'm buying them for selfies alright, but I mean, maybe something a little less, um, obvious, maybe for the running around that I will be doing and all, maybe?"

"Fine, Billie Jo, but you don't have to be reduced to just the server, you know. I mean, except for me because I'm invited too, right?"

"Well, you are certainly welcome to stop by and all, but I'm not so sure that I should even stick around, so."

"Oh, I mean, yeah, I mean, yeah, Tasha's Cranberry Girlfriend outfit will be more than you've ever seen of her before, but you're all adults, so just try to not look so hard. And ooh, ooh, don't go playing tricks on your other friend Talia by lifting her football jersey either!"

"Great, any other advice, Tori."

"Well, now that you ask, Billie Jo, I mean, when I snapped off those photos of you in these crazy ass short shorts, I mean, with the way that you bent your left leg, well, do that with this Troy character and you know, lock him in from behind his legs while the two of you are smacking lips in the kitchen. Or in your bedroom."

"Ugh, to give him something to work with because guys will only put up with blue balls for so long and all?"

"Well, your words, not mine, but duh!"

Well, I'll pause here to remind all of you that in the beginning I had a nice quiet "after Grandma's" holiday snack dinner mixer set up so my friends could relax and watch the evening football game and now my step sister has turned into a Cranberry Girlfriend thing, a Football Girlfriend thing and a risky Wishbone Boyfriend thing, right? And what I mean by that is, when your step sister asks for the money to move to California, LOL, give it to her!

Also, well, no one ever defined Talia's plus one, so there was yet another surprise coming, right?

"Brad, um, grab a beer and have a seat with the others while I speak to Billie Jo, OK babe?"

Well, at least I knew Brad anyways, so.

"I think the phrase is sorry, not sorry, Billie Jo. And I'm not naked under this jersey, so."

"I can see the tips of your nipples through the mesh of the jersey, Talia!"

"Oh, chill out Billie Jo, I'm wearing a peek a boo bra and undies, so."

"Well, I'm a thoroughbred Wishbone Boyfriend and all Talia, so."

"So, you bought Troy a pair of new boxer shorts so when he makes a mess from dry, well, whatever, Billie Jo, I mean, are Brad and I welcome here or not?"

I mean, I have a lot of friendship time invested with Talia, right? So.

"Well, you're a cute football player and your eye black stripes are perfect, so."

"And Brad???????"

"Fine."

"Good (mwah), now let's have a nice "after Grandma's" party then. Oh, um, um, um???"

"It's fine, my step sister is in an amazing Cranberry Girlfriend outfit and she looks amazing, but if Josh has a heart attack from all that, well, don't blame me."

"Oh, well, Tasha has already written his eulogy and you're name front and center, LOL. I mean, have you seen the way that her ass cheeks hang out from the back of that ultra-short skirt? Oops, I mean, um, I like creamy smashed potatoes, OK Billie Jo?"

See folks? This is why I wanted that quiet and peaceful holiday snack mixer without all the Cranberry Girlfriend stuff. I mean, even Josh just had to get into all the excited shouting and stuff.

"Billie Jo, Billie Jo, Billie Jo, Tasha's my Cranberry Wife, Billie Jo!"

"Relax Josh, the step sister is having pity on you and she's merely your Cranberry Girlfriend for the evening, so enjoy it while it lasts."

"But Billie Jo, Billie Jo, she touched me on my shoulder like three times, so that's very clearly a sign that she's my Cranberry Wife, Billie Jo! Oh, hey Talia, um, cool jersey and eye black."

"Oh, well, I'll just leave you two to figure all this Cranberry stuff out, but before I go back to the living room, um, Billie Jo, this is your last chance to react to my presence tonight. I mean, in my bag, I mean, Billie Jo, I have brought condoms into your house and some of those condoms may get used tonight and some them might get used by me or for me, so???"

Well, the day when I woke up after passing out from convulsions, I mean, it's my understanding that the "after Grandma's" holiday snack party went well and that my step sister didn't go any further than being Josh's Cranberry Girlfriend, LOL, because she punched him out for his going to far and I haven't even yet peeked into the back bedroom to see if the girl who is supposed to be waiting for me to get over all this CD stuff, actually used it (or those damn condoms that she threw in my face to make me pass out from convulsions in the first place).

End Cranberry Girlfriend 01