All Comments on 'Creepy Action at a Distance'

Futuristic, techno story that is very original. Enjoyed it, but non-techies could find the storyline a bit detached and intimidating.

Great and original ending.

This story was beautifully written and incredibly creative. Took a typical kink to the next level while keeping it plausible and exciting. Very, very well done!

Unusual and creative piece and highly enjoyable! Since Magister is a non-human, the story can feel a bit impersonal at times though. To balance this, it would have enriched the story further if Darya’s character was fleshed out more, perhaps by exploring her background, interests, sexual persona and experience etc. Wishing good luck for the submission!

Thank you Kupotek and anonymous readers!!

Point well taken about the "techiness" of this one and the resulting impersonal sensibility. A year or so ago I wanted to find out what all the fuss was with AI, so i did some reading and got on the GPT3 beta. It was cool but did not blow my socks off. That experience certainly informed this story - and although I did water down the AI verbiage at least three times after my original draft, perhaps it was still not enough.

I was definitely going for a HAL9000 type suspense vibe at the beginning as well - which probably added further to the "cold" feel?

At any rate, glad you liked it!

PS: one tech detail I did omit - MGST-R stands for Machine Generated Semantic Text in Realtime ;)

Well now I have a new kink. Thanks.

Imaginative story with a real and interesting storyline. Well-written & edited too. It's why I follow you. Thanks for writing!

Thank you Mamateya & Anonymous reader! For whatever reason, this one was a real beast to edit. Went through it a million times and always found something I wasn't happy with. So it's very nice to hear the effort is appreciated :)

4 stars for originality and interesting plot. A good story! Missed out on a 5 only because less sex from the girl, and her lack of enough emotion.

I liked this very much! Didn’t like the ending, mostly because I don’t particularly like happy endings.

Thank you Wilmagron, I'm glad you liked it!

I did have a more ambiguous ending in my early drafts of this story. But then I thought of the idea of the AI operating in different "genres" and Darya using that to her advantage, and I liked that a lot as a story element, and it led me toward a more positive outcome. I guess I didn't really want an AI to win out over a human anyway.

In general I tend to shoot for endings that are (a) not ridiculously upbeat ["now she was so happy to have become a sex slave..."] (b) not dismal either, and (c) leave some ambiguity or space for reader to imagine what comes next. But of course everyone has their preferences :)

Love this a lot!