Cruise Ship of Fools

Shawn shook his head in the negative.

"Shawn, is there anything you can mention about me that might go on the positive side of the scale, the side that could give me a second chance? Do you believe I was an evil slut bitch when you married me?"

"No, you were as about a perfect a person as I had ever known. That's why your betrayal hurts so much. What did I do that changed you into a slut?" It was hard for him not to cry.

"Shawn, sweetheart, it wasn't you. You were everything I needed. The problem was I convinced myself I WANTED more, and I deserved to have it." She paused.

"What about our married life? Did I do anything right?"

"Laura, you became my best friend as well as my wife. I wanted to hear about your day when I came home. You seemed to want to hear about mine. I felt guilty that I was spending too much of our budget on things for me while you barely asked for any money. I loved talking to you about politics, even though you're wrong most of the time." He caused both of them to grin. "I enjoyed our talks about children and our future. I never, ever mistrusted you when I was away on business trips. We loved each other too much, or so I thought. I know you said it was all your fault, but I can't help wondering if I took you for granted or did something else that caused you to turn to James." Now he was crying.

"Look at the scale now, Shawn. Is it anywhere close to balancing? Do you have an ounce of love for me left to put on the second chance side? I know it's hard to believe any promises I make after having broken our marriage vows, but I promise on the lives of our unborn children that I will never betray you again. Please give me a second chance."

Shawn thought about his choice until it hurt his head. "Laura, it's going to take a while for me to get the mental image I have of you and James fucking in a motel room out of my head. I will agree to have my lawyer hold the divorce papers we just signed under one condition: agree to testify against James in Donna's divorce."

"What would I be testifying about?"

"James has challenged the pictures of you and him coming out of the motel room as proof you and he were having sex. Legally, he's probably right. You would testify that you and he were having sex."

"So, you were lying when you said you had videos of us having sex. Oh well, there's nothing we can do about that now. Shawn, I have no trouble telling the truth about the affair. Of course, we were having sex in the motel room. I am sorry that I have endangered two marriages, but I will not lie to save James any punishment. He is not worth lying for. He and I both deserve some punishment. I just wish it wasn't a divorce."

"Thank you. I will tell my attorney."

"Shawn, what does this mean about our living arrangement? Will you let me move back in the house?"

"Donna is living there now. You will have to wait. I don't want to kick her out until she has a place, but I also promised to put our house for sale."

"If you put a hold on the divorce, you don't have to sell the house. I will be willing to wait until Donna moves out as long as you and I get to spend time together. We probably should 'date' again. We are two changed people. We need to rediscover ourselves and our relationship. God willing, we will fall back and love and get ready to fill our house with children."

"I'm not so sure about filling the house, but I would like a few. Your idea is agreeable to me. I will tell Donna."

Donna was not as pleased with the news like Shawn expected, but she did force a smile and said, 'Thank you.'

When James heard that Laura was willing to testify that he and she had sex at the motel, he capitulated. He was surprised that Donna was willing to pay off his car loan and credit card to compensate him for his forfeiture of his half of the equity in their house. With the current housing market, the sale of their house would have barely covered the loan and the seller's fee. No alimony was part of the pre-nup.

Shawn was perplexed Donna had been so lenient and asked her about that.

"I wanted to burn the bastard really badly. His betrayal hurt me more than anything ever had. Then I looked at you. You were badly hurt yet you were able to not be vindictive towards Laura. The 'scale of justice' thing caused me to reconsider. My and James' marriage did have mostly positive aspects before their affair. Daddy thinks I was crazy, but I feel a lot better about the divorce than I would have if I had extracted a harsher revenge. Thank you, Shawn, for so much." She hugged him and kissed him with passion.

Shawn was surprised. The kiss warmed him and challenged his concept that Donna was not a woman he should be interested in sexually or romantically. "Donna, I'm . . . that was the . . . "

"I'm sorry, Shawn, but I care for you so much. It has killed me at times that I have not been able to show you how much I care. I hope you can forgive me."

"Forgive you? I wanted to tear your clothes off and have sex with you. That's the most turned on I've been since the whole mess started. Damn girl, you sure can kiss."

"So, you want another taste?"

"More than almost anything. The problem is that I am trying to see if I can give Laura a second chance. How can I do that if we have an affair?"

"First of all, if we get together it is not an affair. Both of us are legally excused from our marriage vows right now. Secondly, who says that you giving me a first chance can't be considered at the same time as you are considering giving Laura a second chance?"

Shawn's logic and libido were in competition for the control of his body parts. "I need some time to think. I'm going to bed - alone - and see if I can sleep."

Shawn headed to bed. The choice of options did not become any clearer nor sleep any easier. Donna knocked on his open door. She was wearing a nightie that became translucent with the hall light behind her.

"Shawn, can I sleep next to you tonight? I'm having trouble falling asleep. I promise to be good. Please."

Although he knew it was a bad idea, he gave in. "Okay, if you promise."

She slid into bed beside him and wrapped an arm across his chest and a leg across his leg. Donna kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks."

It took a while for Shawn to fall asleep. It was a fitful sleep with many dreams. He was on a nude beach with Laura. They were drinking umbrella drinks on a mat under a palm tree. Laura looked at him with lust in her eyes. She started kissing his nipples and gradually moved down to his genitals. Soon she was bobbing up and down and begging for him to let her swallow his seed. Suddenly, Shawn awoke and saw Donna performing fellatio on his tool. This was the best blowjob he had ever had. He half-heartedly asked her to stop. She disobeyed and was rewarded with a huge load.

"I thought you were going to be good."

"You're telling me that wasn't good? I guess I'll have to practice on you some more then." She took his deflating penis and put it in her mouth again. He pulled away from her and got up.

"That's not fair to Laura."

"Haven't you heard: All's fair in love and war."

"I guess I should thank you. That was the best blowjob I ever had."

"Kind of makes you wonder what else is possible, doesn't it?"

"Indeed."

"Seriously, Shawn. We're going to be living together for a while longer at least. Don't you want to see if we're sexually compatible?"

"God, you have no idea how much I would like that. You have shown me enough of your body that I stay erect most of the night. The thing bothering me besides the feeling we should wait until we're divorced is that you're living with me because of your husband cheating on you. What happens if we find out we're not sexually compatible? Will that make it difficult for you to stay here? I don't want you to have to move before you're ready."

"Damn, you're sexy when you put my feelings above your carnal lust." A big smile came on her face.

"Hell Donna, what am I going to do with you?"

"Doggie, reverse cowboy, missionary?"

***

James resigned and moved away. He was sent his copy of the divorce decree. There was no further contact with him.

Shawn had an active social schedule. He enjoyed dating Laura and began to remember what had attracted him to her in the first place. She did not push him, but made it clear she was ready to earn his trust back any way she could. Donna was not making any plans to move out even though James had left the home he had shared with her.

Shawn told Donna they needed to talk. "Donna, I am unusually blessed. I have a beautiful, intelligent, caring woman living with me who has given me the best sex life I have ever had. I have also become reacquainted with the woman who has been the love of my life for years. She hurt me and I have trouble trusting her. I have revived enough feelings for her to wonder if I am not giving you an unfair advantage with you living here and us having sex. You have a house available to you. Why haven't you moved back home?"

"I haven't moved back 'home' because as far as I'm concerned, this is home. I want to be with you. Where you and I are together is home. If you think I have an unfair advantage by living here, good for me. I'm fighting for the man I love. I don't understand why you would want a woman who has betrayed you when you have a woman who has never and will never cheat on you.

"l don't want to degrade your sense of fairness. As much as I hate the idea, I will move out. I plan to beat out Laura for your affection whatever our living situation. I trust your judgment. Although you haven't said so, you love me Shawn. I know it. I will wait, but I am planning on us getting married and having children. Now, let's go to bed one more night, and I hope you didn't plan on getting any sleep."

***

Months went by. Laura felt better about her chances especially after finding out that Donna had moved out. She was disappointed that Shawn had never met her at their old home. They were hugging and kissing now, but no sex. She hoped he remembered their times in bed. Much of their time together was reliving good memories from their courtship and marriage. They never discussed her affair.

There was a two-week break before Shawn and Laura next met. Laura believed he was going to announce his decision. She felt she had reason for optimism. She sat down at the table in the conference room. Shawn was there but so was Donna. Laura sat down holding back tears.

"Laura, I wanted both of you here because I have been going back and forth between you physically and in my mind. Both of you need to hear what I now want to say. Our current situation has not been fair to either of you. It hasn't felt it's been fair to me either. I have come to a decision.

"Laura, I have been able to forgive you. Our recent time together has reminded me of the reason I fell in love with you and how great it was to be married to you before your cheating. I have been greatly tempted to resume our marriage, with certain conditions of course. The problem is that I can't forget. Whereas I might be willing to take the chance for you to remain my wife, I can't take the chance on the mother of my children being untrustworthy. As bad as this has been on us without children involved, I get physically sick at the thought of what it would have been like if we did have children.

"Actually Laura, I made the decision a couple of months ago. Since then I have been working on a new divorce settlement. Laura, because of the wonderful years you gave me most of our marriage, I want to give you the chance to support yourself so you can prepare to move on with your life. I have no doubt you will find a man willing to take a chance on you and be willing to give him children. I have sent your lawyer the new settlement terms which you will find is much more favorable to you than before. I wish you the best, Laura. I really do." Shawn and Donna got up to leave.

Laura spoke up, "Shawn, can't you. . . "Her ability to speak left her as she saw the small bulge of Donna's stomach. She knew she had lost what she most wanted.