Crushed Pt. 03

Crushing Part 3

A/N - shorter update, but I hope you like it! Please do comment your thoughts its the best motivation to write more! :) Thanks for reading, love you all x

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"Come with you. Are you serious?" Alex whispered.

Logan turned in the bed so that he was facing him, their knees overlapping and bumping. Alex looked down at them unable to meet Logan's intense gaze, and yet finding he couldn't tear himself away for long. His eyes flickered back up to his pleading expression.

"I'm serious Alex. You could live with me. I can show you what it's like in the real world, not just in this shitty little town."

"But- my job, my life..." he stammered, feeling shocked and overwhelmed by Logan's intensity.

"You can get a job at a book shop in Leeds. Maybe even better than that. Alex," Logan reached for his hands, leaning in close, "your writing is so expressive, your journal was so vivid and I could hear your voice, your imagination exploding out of it. You love books and stories. Do you like the idea of being an author?"

"I mean... of course that would be incredible but-"

"You could apply at the university, do an English course."

"Logan I don't even have my A-Levels, and my GCSE's were hardly-"

"Then just write! And we can take things to publishers and-"

"Logan stop!"

Logan fell silent, his head dropped and his eyes that had been filled with a manic excitement only moments ago sunk into their prior sad state.

"You dont want that."

"I'm not saying that. I just, need you to slow down for a second."

Alex took a deep breath, and he looked at Logan. He took in his dejected posture, his face still pink from tears, his black eye, almost concealing one of those beautiful blue irises. So lost. Scared even. It was such an unfamiliar sight that it unnerved him. Where was the cocky, arrogant and charismatic boy he had always fawned after? The one who made him melt with a grin despite his best efforts? Sat here was a completely different person. As he got to know all of Logan's issues and pain, it only made him love him all the more. The beauty in the imperfections. His heart ached with longing to comfort him, to make things better. He understood what pain he felt, this he was familiar with. Logan was just as broken as he was.

He reached forward and stroked Logan's cheek, then up to his hair, brushing it from his face. Logan closed his eyes briefly, enjoying the touch, wincing only slightly when he traced too close to his injuries. Then he reopened them, his gaze fixed on him, expectant and unwavering.

"I'm not ready to move in with you," he said and Logan nodded, beginning to speak but Alex continued over him.

"But I could come stay with you for a while. If you wanted that? I've got some holiday time banked up that I could use and then we could-"

Logan stopped him midtrack with something that was a cross between a kiss and a tackle. He fell back against the cushion and laughed.

"Yes, yes I want that," Logan said in between kisses.

"Um, ow," he complained but he grinned. Logan smiled, and kissed him again, gently this time, passionately. He could feel the rough scratch of his healing lip, the tickle of hairs on his chin that were overdue a shave.

"I've been waiting for the first time to say this... I love you Alex," he whispered.

Alex let out a laugh that made Logan frown.

"I'm sorry.. its just not the first time you've said it."

"What?" Logan's frown deepened and then suddenly his face filled with realisation. "Oh....ohh" he groaned. "That's so shit."

Alex shrugged, "I kinda liked it, felt... natural. And for the record, I love you too. I always have you moron."

Logan grinned, and he leaned in to kiss him, his body pressing against him, their legs beginning to entangle and Alex knew he wasn't leaving this bed anytime soon.

*

Logan had terrible mood swings over the next few days. Alex could barely keep up with him. One moment he was happy and laughing, often attentive and horny, the next he would be moody and quiet, or even worse he would shut down or even cry. He tried his best to be understanding and supportive, even if he felt frustrated when Logan would snap at him, grovel an apology and repeat. But he understood the mental turmoil running through his brain.

As far as they knew his Dad did not know yet, and he had been hiding at Alex's out of fear of facing him. The gossip had spread across social media like wildfire, someone even uploading a video of the fight to YouTube, which got almost 4,000 views before it was taken down. Logan's mum had been ringing him several times a day, leaving worried voicemails and texts to which he would just reply that he was fine and he would see her soon.

"Why don't we go together to talk to them?" Alex had suggested and the look Logan had given him would have once terrified him.

"Absolutely no way."

"But maybe your dad will keep it cool if I'm there?" He suggested.

"Yeah? And what if he doesn't? What then? I'm not letting you go anywhere near him when he might think... No."

He scrubbed harder at the pan he was washing in the sink, Alex watching from where he was perched on the kitchen surface.

"Ok. Then let's ask your Mum to come here? Ooor a coffee shop?" He added hastily when Logan gave him a look.

He looked back down at the pan, scrubbing quietly. Alex took his silence as a good sign and waited, watching his scowl gradually relax. He placed the last dish on the draining board and braced his hands against the sink, looking at Alex reluctantly.

"I guess that could work," he muttered, and Alex smiled.

"You should do it. Today."

"Today?! What? Why?"

"Because your mum is worried about you Logan!" Alex said exasperated.

"She's not actually worried," he grumbled.

"How do you know that?"

"She didn't exactly step in when Dad used to... well you know."

Alex didn't know. Logan hadn't gone into anymore detail about what his father had done bar what he had said the first night. But he wasn't going to push it out of him and Logan didn't seem ready to say any more.

"Ok, well she's been calling you non stop. Wouldn't it be good to get it sorted? You were saying this morning that you have no plans today?"

Logan groaned, wrapping his arms around Alex's waist where he sat. In this position Logan had to look up at him. Alex took in his face, his swelling had almost entirely gone, but the bruises were a yellow hue and the cut on his nose would likely become a scar. And yet through it all, the twinkling blue eyes shone through, like the undulating ocean catching rays from the sun. He felt that dizzy lightheaded feeling that made his stomach tighten and his toes tingle. Only Logan could make him feel like that.

"Why do you have to be right all the time, it's annoying," Logan teased and grinned.

Mood swing back to happy Logan, phew. They kissed for a minute until Alex pulled away.

"Stop. Stalling. Text your bloody mother."

"Ugh fine," he pulled away and Alex laughed, jumping down from the kitchen surface and walking to lean next to him as he texted his mum to meet. She texted back immediately, the notification popping up on his screen with a cheerful ping.

Mum: will be there Mx

"Great! So you're going for coffee."

"We're going for coffee you mean."

Alex laughed nervously, "so meeting your Mum. Getting serious."

"Come on, I asked you to move in with me the other day, I think you knew we were at this point. Well, I am anyway." Logan shrugged casually and Alex smiled.

"I am too. It'll be good. Although I might need some coaching on what to say to get in her good books."

It was not long later that he found himself sitting low in his chair at a cafe table fiddling nervously with the sleeve of his hoodie.

"You know I love you, but you look like your trying to hide with your hood up like that."

"Sorry," Alex replied, pulling his hood down from his head. Logan smiled, and squeezed his hand under the table. To an outsiders perspective he looked confident but Alex could see the tension in his shoulders, his eyes flicking around the room to see if there were people who recognised him. He said nothing, just waiting, his stomach tense. Logan's eyes flicked suddenly to the door as a woman entered.

Alex looked at the woman who looked so vaguely familiar. She was tall and slender, and had the same blonde hair as Logan, and something about the shape of her mouth he had inherited too. He suddenly was hit by vivid flashbacks from when he was a kid and had played at Logan's house. His mum was always nice, and he remembered that she made really good cookies.

"Hey Mum," Logan said standing up to give her a brief hug.

"Logan where have you been?! Are those bruises?!!" She asked, looking from Logan to Alex in tense confusion.

"Um, well.. how about you sit down?" Logan suggested.

"Alex? Alex... Drumm? Is that you?" She frowned, staring at Alex in slow recognition. "I haven't seen you in- why are you here?"

"Sit down Mum and I will explain," Logan said in a firm voice. His mother relented and sat. Alex took a large drink from his mug of coffee, cringing in the awkward tension as Logan's Mum gave him a frosty uneasy look.

"Can I get your order?" The waitress said.

"Americano please," she said and the waitress left them alone.

"So? I'm sat. Explain," then her eyes softened slightly. "Please," she whispered.

"Well I don't know exactly where's best to start." Logan's shoulders were tight, and Alex wanted to put a hand on them to soothe him, but his whole body was frozen in anxiety. What would his mother say? Would she hate him? Would she agree with Logan's father and disown him? What then?

"I'm sorry that I've not been home much this summer, and I'm sorry that I didn't text you back faster when you were worried. I also-"

"You're stalling Logan. Thank you for the apology, but please get to whatever it is you're trying to tell me."

Alex gave him an encouraging glance. Logan sighed.

"I'm gay, Mum."

She stared at him her mouth open in shock. Logan began to flounder in the awkward silence.

"Or bi, maybe. I'm not 100% sure but I... I like guys. I have for a long time but I didn't know how to talk to you about it and just kept it secret but... but people know now, and we thought it was best I come tell you rather than you hearing it from someone else."

"We?" His mother fixed on the word choice instantly. "Who is we?"

"Well, me and Alex."

"You are together?" She asked, again in that unreadable expression.

Alex glanced at Logan from where he had sunk as low as possible into his chair. They hadn't had this conversation. They had discussed love and moving in together, but they hadn't said if they were going to be... boyfriends. The word sounded weird to him. And yet also kind of nice.

Logan smiled and put his hand on Alex's knee. Alex watched as the tension seemed to flow out of him as he spoke.

"Yes. Alex is my boyfriend, and it's him who I've been with all summer."

"Your Americano," the waitress said placing the hot coffee in front of Logan's mum. She thanked her and took a long sip. Logan and Alex watched her, waiting tensely for her reaction.

She placed her cup carefully back onto the saucer and surveyed them both.

"Well. I must say I'm surprised, I had no idea. But-" she smiled slowly, "I'm grateful that you felt you could share it with me. And I'm happy for you both."

Logan squeezed Alex's leg in what felt like a silent 'Oh my god is this actually happening'. He sat up a little, feeling the tension at the table relax slightly.

"I always was so disappointed when you befriended those nasty boys Logan and parted ways with each other. Alex you were always such a sweet, polite boy."

"Um thank you Mrs Conners," he said and she laughed a light tinkling laugh.

"See! If I ever heard those boys say thank you for anything. Yes, you'll be a much better influence on Logan. He is easily influenced by those around him sadly."

"I'll try and teach him his manners," he grinned and she smiled warmly.

"I would imagine it took a lot of convincing to get him here," her eyes flicked to Logan and again that piercing gaze was upon him. Her smile waivered, she fingered the handle of her coffee mug, not meeting their eyes as she spoke.

"Logan. I know what you must be worried about."

Logan's smile faded and he nodded, she sighed and looked around the cafe.

"If we hold off on telling him for now,"

She continued. "I'll do some ground work first. I think the shock wouldn't be the best idea. But I think I can win him around."

"Thank you," Logan said and his mum and he seemed to share a moment of understanding across the table. When she finally looked up from his face she had the first signs of tears in her eyes.

"Now," she said brushing her eyes hastily. "What about these bruises on your face? What happened?"

"Oh," Logan touched his face absently. "I came out to Chris. He didn't like it."

Her face paled and the tears returned.

"Hey, no, Mum I'm fine honestly. They don't even hurt anymore," Logan said as the tears spilled over onto her cheeks.

She nodded, grabbing a napkin from the table to dab her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just, you'll always be my baby boy. And to think people can- I hope you knew I would and will always love and support you. Always."

"Thanks Mum," Logan's voice broke a little and he rubbed his eyes with his sleeve, blinking rapidly.

"Chris posted about it, and the fight went up on YouTube and, well lots of people know now. I, we," he said reaching for Alex's hand, "wanted you to find out from us."

"Thank you. It will take some getting used to, but I'm glad. Alex, does your mother know?"

"No. I'll talk to my parents when they're back from their holiday," he explained and she nodded.

"Ok, let me know when you have. I think it would be good if Eva and I went for a coffee."

The conversation grew lighter from that point onwards. Logan's mum asked Alex about his parents and his work and Logan about his studies.

"And what is the plan about going back to Uni?"

"Well I thought it would be best not to stay at home just for now, not until Dad knows and has time to... adjust. So I'm going to head back to Leeds early, next week actually."

Logan's mum smiled a pained smile, "yes I can understand that. And Alex? What will you do when Logan is at Leeds?"

"Well I'm going to take some holiday days and go up with him for a bit and then I guess we'll see from there."

Once they had all had their drinks, they stood from the table and left the coffee shop. They stood outside the door as Logan's mum gave them another smile, although her eyes still seemed full of worry as she took in Logan's bruised face.

"Look after yourselves, please. Both of you."

"We will, Mum," Logan said, giving his Mum another hug. This one was much longer than the first, and Alex seemed to sense a new found connection between the mother and son. A reconciliation perhaps.

Alex felt startled when Logan's mum turned to him arms outstretched, he gave her what felt like a very awkward hug but she squeezed him tightly and whispered in his ear.

"God bless you."

She pulled away and Logan looked at Alex with that affectionate look that always made his knees feel weak. He put his arm around his shoulders, and Alex blushed at the incredibly public sign of affection.

"Look boys, if it isn't a couple of fags" a voice said from behind them. Alex turned and felt his blood run cold. It was Chris and all the others from Logan's old gang. Alex saw that Chris had his arm in a cast and similar bruising to his cheekbones. He felt a strange pride that Logan had managed to do some damage in their fight after all.

They looked at Logan with an expression he recognised well. Disgust. He felt Logan tense, his fists clenched. He wanted to calm him down but was at a loss how.

"Should have known you'd be screwing around with Alex Drumm of all people. You really have sunk so low," Chris snickered.

"I'm warning you Chris, give me a chance to break your other arm," Logan spat.

"Logan," Alex hissed, "don't. It's not worth it."

"Listen to your ickle boyfriend Logan. You really think you could take us? 1 against 5?"

"You don't scare me, you're pathetic," Logan laughed. Alex didn't like the laugh, it was the same unpleasant laugh he had once heard used against him. So long ago. He'd always thought it was hateful, but now he heard the undertone of fear in it.

"Are you guys honestly going to stand with him?" He looked at his once best friends incredulously. "You're going to listen to Chris and this crap?"

Alex saw the two he recognised as Aiden and Ben look at each other uncertainly, but they said nothing. Whereas Tom stepped forward next to Chris.

"As opposed to you? You're disgusting," he said and spat right at Logan.

Alex and Mrs Conners instantly leaped forward to grab Logan's shoulders as he tried to launch himself at Tom.

"Stop it all of you! I'll call the police," his mother said in a haughty tone.

Tom and Chris laughed, "listen to mummy Logan."

"We'll see you around. Or not, for your sake."

Alex thought that Aiden shot Alex a quick apologetic look before they turned, but he couldn't be sure.

They walked off and Logan shook the pair of them off with a growl.

"I had it under control!"

"You did not," Alex said "Jeez Logan what did you think would happen?!"

"I would have got a punch in," he muttered.

"Yeah and get beaten to a pulp in return. You're barely recovered from the last fight. It's not worth it! We don't care what they think. They're losers, remember?"

Logan glowered at the backs of his once friends, and Alex worried for a moment he was going to run after them.

"Listen to Alex," his mother said, clearly shaken up by the encounter. "And stay away from them. You'll be back in Leeds soon and then you don't have to deal with them. They're horrible unpleasant men Logan, I've always thought that since you were all boys."

"Dad liked them," he muttered and his Mum nodded.

"Yes, well. Go on, get home. And please don't get yourself into anymore fights."

Logan didn't reply, just looking down the street moodily, despite the fact they had all long disappeared round the corner.

"We will, thank you Mrs Conners," Alex replied quickly.

"Dahlia dear, call me Dahlia."

*

Logan's mums acceptance of them was a cause for celebration. If slightly marred by the arrival of Chris and his mates, Logan seemed to shake it off and regain some positivity by the time they returned to the house.

They spent the day tidying and cleaning the house in anticipation of Alex's parents returning the following day. This time it was Alex's turn to be nervous. But Logan was very good at knowing how to calm him down. He made dinner, and then they cuddled on the sofa together.

"So we made it official today then. You're my boyfriend," Alex said quietly, blushing slightly still at the word.

"Yeah," Logan smiled, pulling him closer. "I assume you don't mind I said that?"

"No, of course not. It's just, this is the first time I've had a relationship. It's... a strange feeling."

"A good strange, or bad strange?"Logan teased, moving so close that their noses brushed.

"Really bad for sure," Alex grinned and closed the distance between them. Logan made a noise of complaint at the insult, but didn't break the kiss. Instead he pushed Alex further into the pillows, his hands slipping under his hoodie, running up his bare chest, hitching the hoodie up around his midriff. Logan began to grind against him, pressing their bodies together and Alex moaned into the kiss, burying his fingers in Logan's hair. His other hand snaked down Logan's chest and slipped under the waistband of his jeans. He found Logan's cock with ease and closed his fingers around it, Logan moaned, grinding his crotch against his.