All Comments on 'Cuckold Man'

by oneminute2

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  • 91 Comments
WetheNorthWetheNorthover 2 years ago
Author: You need to work on your writing skills

Your spelling in particular is atrocious.

26thNC26thNCover 2 years ago

Where’s the ending, you kind of left it hanging. A little rough, but I like anything where men won’t be ducked.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Please get an editor. You don’t get pattens. It is patent. The are other spelling errors and poor grammar. The storyline is good.

chytownchytownover 2 years ago

**That 10mins I'll never get back!! Sorry

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

You need spell check and proof read your material.

Jetcrash747Jetcrash747over 2 years ago

Only three stars ⭐️ . In the last paragraph you told Cindy six times.

I pulled Cindy aside and told her to watch out for my ex, if she had any problem with them to let me know, I told her anything, please do not be afraid to tell me because I know how conniving they could be. told her there is nothing that she could do to change my trust in her, told her that she was now in charge of this division and that I knew she could handle it. told her if she ever has a question not to be afraid to ask. I told her I would check in on her every once in a while.

I think Cindy gets the message.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Where to begin? The spelling is amazing. You would think that a smart engineer would know how to spell documents of creative ownership. They are called patents not pattens. You obviously wrote this without editor involvement. Get an editor immediately you are in desperate need of one.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I think you need to learn how to spell. You had the semblance of a decent story, but your spelling and other errors in grammar made the story almost unreadable.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

This story is sponsored by McDonalds, KFC and BK. Fast Food-Story

ju8streadingju8streadingover 2 years ago

doesn't seem finished

Harryin VAHarryin VAover 2 years ago

This story is almost unreadable. Was the author drunk or stoned when he wrote the piece of crap?

kelchakelchaover 2 years ago

Just horrible. Sorry.

mattenwmattenwover 2 years ago

Although the subject is very interesting, you made very little of it. You only briefly touched on all the topics. I couldn't feel the real feelings of the protagonists. I think a little more depth would have done the story good. You lived up to your pseudonym. The story seems to me to be plastered in a minute!

Mac_LapuMac_Lapuover 2 years ago

It was like I was reading an acknowledgement or something but not a fictional literary story

enderlocke77enderlocke77over 2 years ago

no emotion and no reason what so ever those 2 ppl should be married in the first place

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

So the ex and jim got a job at the new company? If not why were they there? If yes then why hire them?

justwetwojustwetwoover 2 years ago

Thank you for writing this. I recommend you focus on grammar, spelling, and syntax. Those detracted from the storyyou were telling.

WargamerWargamerover 2 years ago

Average, told in a flat bland fashion. Read like a report

Scores 3/5

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

"Steeling"? Is that part of the process of making steel? How about "Stealing", as in taking what belongs to another without their consent.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Storyline good, but the writing sucks! *

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Ouch, please use an editor, not just a spell checker. Please

"Thou" is old English for you, though is what you should of used.

Steeling and stealing, sound similar but have entirely different meanings.

It's a good start, reads kind of like a run-on sentence.

MonsieurXMonsieurXover 2 years ago

Skip this. The plot has nothing new, and the spelling and grammar is super bad. It doesn’t look like the author even re-read the story, much less edited it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago
Engineers typically know spelling and grammar....

You should install Grammarly and use it, your spelling and grammar are atrocious.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Please get an editor. It was a nightmare to read this. 1*

hindsight2020hindsight2020over 2 years ago

It was going well until it just stopped mid-paragraph.

3*

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

All the I's in the first paragraph were enough to drive me away. It's not I did this or I did that. That's not how you write.

You need a good editor but frankly, I can't imagine one wanting to deal with your mess.

Q1000Q1000over 2 years ago

Very bad!

You don't have any clue about using commas, do you?

And it's not "steeling", it's stealing.

And there is a great difference between there and they're and their. Read about it, please.

njlaurennjlaurenover 2 years ago

I hate to nail anyone trying to write on here, I know how hard it is. This story failed on so many levels, the writing quality was poor, grammar and even word usage. More importantly, while the outline of the plot was there, it was confusing. In one paragraph the protagonist is saying he doesn't want to hurt the town and makes it seem like his old company is failing and the new guy will buy them out, later on he talks about the old owners as if the company is still going. It never mentions that the old company was bought out specifically, that needed to be set up.

He suddenly mentions a pre nup in his marriage, where did that come from? And quite honestly, what engineer working for a company has enough wealth to protect to want a pre nup? Why did he even have one, did he suspect Sharon back in the day?

And it never really ends, it just kind of stops. So he lets Cindy run I guess the old company (????), she was head of HR!

Also, if he sold his patents it wouldn't happen in a couple of days, it just doesn't work like that. The buyer does due diligence, they have to do a patent search to make sure no one else has anything like it and they have to confirm the products actually work and can be produced economically.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Somehow it does not feel like it is the end of the story.... ***

muskyboymuskyboyover 2 years ago

Feels like 1/2 a story and you just got tired of writing it and stopped.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

needs a second chapter to clarify everything

EspressoBolusEspressoBolusover 2 years ago

While the story idea is interesting if not original, the execution is problematic. Even if you do not use an editor, please try to reread your story before submitting so as to catch mistakes. Spelling, word and phrase use and knowledge of subjects used in the story help.

fred324afred324aover 2 years ago

It is spelled "patent" and these days in the US, take about 12-18 months or so to issue if it's allowed. Probably longer in a crowded filed like medical devices with lots of prior art. Which means spending more $$ on lawyers arguing with the USPTO to allow your patent claims.

I know it's too much to expect any realism in how the law in general works, much less Intellectual Property law, but you can at least spell "patten" correctly.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

What a mess! This was barely readable.

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bcover 2 years ago

Ugly, just like the other stories so far. Not a bad simplistic plot but the narrative doesn't pull the pieces together. 2*

kirei8kirei8over 2 years ago

Take a night class in writing and spelling, learn how to finish a thought and then try again. Good plot though. Sorry, not being mean just truthful.

Legio_Patria_NostraLegio_Patria_Nostraover 2 years ago

Decent story but you need to get an editor... fast! "Steeling" is not "stealing"; a "patten" is nothing, but a "patent", is. You need to tell your story in dialogue, not in a commentary format. Characters evoke emotion from the reader, and characters are developed through dialogue and interaction. Spend some time reading the top-rated stories on this site, and visit the "How To" category for some excellent tutorials on dialogue and characters.

.

It's a disservice to this decent story concept that it wasn't fully developed. 3/5. Bonus point for naming a guy from WV, 'Truck'! Love that!

GamblnluckGamblnluckover 2 years ago

Barely readable half-ass story. Same comments I made on your other ones. You get a story and ruin it by going too fast, like you are writing an outline rather than telling a story.

SouthdownSouthdownover 2 years ago
Sounded like a foreign language badly dubbed!

Muddled, Confused and disinteresting... in short.. a very bad piece of writing!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

"I also said that copies of these were being sent out to her work, church friends and family."

.

But not the police, after recording them planning to kill him?

.

Is your moniker based on how long you spend thinking up your plots?

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Theres so much here to address, but a good editor would be an excellent place to start.

dawg_of_wardawg_of_warover 2 years ago

I have to agree with others, you need an editor. The premise of the story is solid. However, you lose the reader with so many grammatical errors. Sentence structure is atrocious as well. While I admit to never submitting a story here, I believe I am somewhat qualified to render this opinion.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

get somebody to proof read this shit before you hit send

northstanderrhinonorthstanderrhinoover 2 years ago

Gave up after first paragraph, no more PLEASE

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I suggest an editor. You write very much like a sixth grader. “I did this and this happened and then I did that.” Very basic. Try to develop your characters a little more. Felt very wooden, main character had no emotion.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Please do not write Dick & Jane stories

iameaseliameaselover 2 years ago

I wish I could say something decent about this but it really didnt flow, felt like it was just thrown together.

mccartysermccartyserover 2 years ago

What the Hell was this?

That was so BAD!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Learn grammar, learn about tenses, learn how to spell, learn about how to construct a plot line, learn about proofreading, and learn about the value of an editor.

Then try to write a story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Simplistic, choppy and unfocused rambling. The premise of the story is fine, if unoriginal. I would say amateurish but, that’s kind of the point of this website anyway. This author deserves credit for putting themselves out there but really, really needs help and practice.

ScorpioJJScorpioJJover 2 years ago

Kind of rushed. I would think an engineer would know how to spell "Patents". The story could be ok with some work on it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Sorry, but you must get an editor. There were so many run on sentences and misspelled words that I gave up trying to be involved in the story.

DOS

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Really choppy.

lv2travel2lv2travel2over 2 years ago

The author has the correct name as this "story" appears written in one minute. I applaud your efforts for writing a "story" but the vast numbers of grammatical and English errors make it difficult to read and comprehend. My suggestion is if you attempt to write another story find someone who has command of the English language assist in writing the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

You need to find a good editor.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

illiterate = look it up

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

What is a "Patten"? And what is firring? If you ever decide to try writing, learn to spell the words you try to use. Oh it's patent and firing. So sad. Keep your day job!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

OK first draft.

Snaglepuss67Snaglepuss67over 2 years ago

They talk about "killing me and steeling my money".....So why not go hard core BTB (Burn the Bodies) or just get them on conspiracy to commit murder. i mean he would get all her money and watch them rot in jail. so needs a part 2 then.

chris2300chris2300over 2 years ago

It was interesting but very clipped. You should work on “fleshing” it out. It needs a bit more intrigue, a bit more suspense. Not too bad for an early storyline.

wonder203wonder203over 2 years ago

Thanks for writing this and putting yourself out there. Good story line however you need an editor to make it smoother and fix a few spots. Well done.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

You are in desperate need of a proofreader and an editor. Numerous misspelled words, improper words, omitted words, sentences that make no sense, one sentence in the last paragraph should have been about 4 or 5 sentences.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

‘they plan on steeling my ideas‘...?please show them your ‘metal’ and don’t allow them to steel

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Thanks for writing and posting, oh and mean people suck

LotusblumeLotusblumeover 2 years ago

Worse! You don‘t need to look for an editor, you simply should stop writing and spare us such crap!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

An editor would help with some of the things, but it wont fix the story. I get writing gives freedom to the story but it needs to make sense. He was not well paid in his job, and had to pay all of the bills. Normally that would not leave much money left over. His 401(k) from the time he worked at that company at his salary would not be all that extravagant. Why would a competitor suddenly allow him with all this newfound wealth to buy the company hire and give a raises. The story was just shit. I felt like I was reading a story a drunken little kid would make up. I guess I’m just getting frustrated because lately a lot of stories even from authors I follow are just shit. Nobody is making an effort to write anything decent And take the time to put together hey well constructed story

TajfaTajfaover 2 years ago

Steal, their and patent. Look them up.

Thanks for the effort but please get someone to proof read as there were too many errors.

kiteareskitearesover 2 years ago

Even as a 2nd language that was poor... poorly conceived, poorly written, poorly executed, some pretty poor spelling thing there (not their or they're) too.

And if someone 'could care less' then they still have some care left, however, if the 'could NOT care less' there is no more care to give, whatever happens, happens and they will not worry.

Should also include incest in your tags.

Editing software and a proofreader would help you loads.

russ603russ603over 2 years ago

This story is so disjointed with run-on sentences, sentence fragments, and poor grammar. The author uses "patten" for "patent". Does he not know how to use Spell & Grammar check? Why not use an editor, or a beta reader? I think it would greatly enhance the quality of the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Good idea, bad plot development. This is more like bullet points to form the background of the story.

SCcouple1990SCcouple1990over 2 years ago

Please get an editor.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Unless this story is being told from the viewpoint of the common man, I would suggest the use of a proof reader.

ken philipsken philipsover 2 years ago

Your English is atrocious. Is it your second language? You need to get an editor fast if you wish to continue. The story was so full if spelling and grammatical errors, and poor sentence structure, I gave upbefore the end of Page 1.

someoneothersomeoneotherover 2 years ago

It is a "patent" not "patten." No company would take no interest in a possible invention. We should respect authors who put stuff out for us, but authors ought to respect readers and not put out crap to waste readers' time.

WhoGivesAShitWhoGivesAShitover 2 years ago

This story is really jumbled.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Get an editor. What a convoluted mess.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

The story idea is fine, though not in any way original. I wish I could be kind, but beyond the lack of proofreading and editing and over all poor writing, the story reads like a police report at best. It's just a mess.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

A mess. You "steeled" 10 minutes of my time, before I gave up. (I know it's "stole" but only "steeled" makes my point. I suppose there was a story in there somewhere, but I didn't want to invest anymore of my time and interest.

Toby_dogToby_dogabout 2 years ago

I've read better written stories from 6th graders.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Very hard to read, and keep up with. As othervhave said, this guy needs an editor.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I think the story idea was good, but it's execution left a lot to be desired. Very hard to read, and choppy. Really needs an editor to help "flesh it out" a little more smoothly.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

It was Kind of Boring to be honest.

NVDiceGuyNVDiceGuyover 1 year ago

Very immature writing style. Great story line though

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

This reads like a 12 year old’s ideas about adult relationships. There is absolutely no emotional or motivational weight to this recitation of facts. And a good editor would have caught the numerous errors such as the use of “steeling” instead of “stealing”. I mean, really?

AccelarVesterAccelarVesterabout 1 year ago

IMHO, not well written. It reads like random sentences built on a theme just strug together.

2*

AnonymousAnonymous12 months ago

I'm not a writer not an expert like most of the comments seams to be but I love the outcome of the story.

TexScotTexScot7 months ago

It’s spelt patents!

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

People everyone starts some where, the ones being so critical, what have you written.

moultonknobmoultonknob3 months ago

Just a jumbled up load of bollocks

Anonymous
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