Cuddle Company

It was a little more than six months ago... I had just taken the biggest risk of my life when I moved across the country to a foreign city without out any friends or family in sight. A lame job offer, nothing but a little bit of savings, an apartment that was WAYY too rich for my paycheck, all in the middle of a pandemic.

I packed up all my stuff and drove all the way to Denver and into my apartment complex. The place was immaculate! A true bachelor pad with wide windows & a stunning view over the city. I set up my flat all the while thinking about all the opportunities ahead of me. The serious adult relationships I could now pursue as I had been so terribly pent up from my COVID dry spell.

Yet, after a couple weeks, nothing really exciting came up. The job was shit-- as I anticipated. The night life felt unapproachable for me: everyone already had their little tribes and it was clear I wasn't invited.

The dating apps were quiet as well. The few friends I made from work (all male) were very functional and honestly relegated to the office. It wasn't too long from then when I began to feel seriously depressed and isolated.

There's nothing quite like having too much free time and just sitting inside all day. My mind wondered. I desperately tried to think of ways to satisfy my most animal instincts. I never had been one to pay for sexual release, but I would be lying if I said I didn't at least look into the possibility. I had become bitterly tired of porn by now.

One day while surfing the web on my phone I remembered a story I'd seen years before. It involved men and women who would advertise themselves for certain "cuddling services" on a website completely platonic in nature.... at least that's what they said!

I don't know if it was the alcohol that night or just the lateness of the hour, or if I truly felt I'd exhausted all other options but I soon found myself on the site making a dummy account. I read somewhere that you need to be touched at least five times a day to keep all your mental faculties up so in my head this was really just for my own self good!

It wasn't long before I found women in my area who caught my eye, in particular there was this one twenty-three-year-old Asian girl who was cute as a button. She was short and compact: tiny. Some of the most beautiful long, black hair. A great smile too, at least that's what i thought.

At the start though I felt determined to meet someone for free... but as time went on (and the more I thought about the type of girl who would be looking to cuddle up with some random guy on a site like this for free) the more I felt myself softening up to the idea of a paid experience.

The prices weren't great but they weren't awful. i think this cute Asian (we'll just call her Ashley from now on) was at around $70/hour something like that. One night beat up from work and unable to get any sleep I shot her a message.

Saying "Hey! I know you've had your page deactivated for a little while because of COVID, but I was wondering if you'd wanna open things back up now that vaccines are out and all. I'm free most evenings so let me know."

After a couple days I got a response back: "Hi there! Yeah, I was thinking about starting to meet again after just getting my shot a couple of weeks ago. I'm free this Sunday if that works for you just reserve an appointment!! :) "

I put in for an appointment at 8 pm that day and Sunday suddenly could not come fast enough!

I was waiting around Sunday night... she was late. We were messaging back and forth and she kept trying to back out as the hour was getting late but i was insistent that we meet. Then before I knew it-- she was there.

I went downstairs to let her in. As soon as I saw her though I was petrified. I forgot the part in this whole plan that this would be a real person with thoughts and feelings, full of opinions.

So when I opened the door to let her in I could hardly make eye contact-- i'm assuming she was thinking 'I was expecting some 40 something year old to be here; not this kid my age.'

Anyway I wound up leading her upstairs: through my elevators and past the lobby then turning into my door on my floor. Along the way I kept repeating to myself just to keep this civil. In my head i knew this had to be platonic and I didn't want things to get awkward.

We shuffled into my apartment and took our masks off. This was the first time I could get a good look at her and I liked what I saw. She was just as she was in the pictures, just tinier then maybe I expected.

A little mousy, 5-foot chick with the most perfect long, black hair. We both giggled nervously for a second and I led her into my room. There we huddled around my bed unsure how to proceed.

"Do you want any water or.... anything to eat?"

"No, no, I'm good." She looked up at me so innocently.

"Okay. Should we just get straight to it then?"

She nodded. "Okay." And then she hopped into bed and got herself snug under the covers. I quickly followed suit.

I wasn't 100% on where to begin. "Okay. Do you want to spoon for a little to start off?"

"Okay." And she flipped over, almost presenting her hindquarters to me. Right away I felt in trouble.

Nevertheless I snuggled up tight to her and basically mede a perfect shell around her. It was the first chance I had to touch her. It was fantastic she had some of the softest baby skin I had ever felt, and I buried my lips into her traps. I didn't realize it fully at the time but this was my first attempt to poke around "the line" of what platonic meant exactly on this site. So as I nestled around I may have planted a kiss or two as well. First, very subtle and almost just a graze, then quite deliberate and clear. Yet to my delight she didn't flinch. So I quickly attempted to push the envelope a little further: I nestled her ass up against me a bit firmer and put my free leg up and on top of her. She was trapped in and it felt wonderful as her little peach-shaped butt slid up on my crotch. Yet, again though, she didn't flinch.

This emboldened me. I would be firm in my words now. "Flip over to me." I said and she obeyed. Now we were eye level to each other; my room was half lit so I could see her looking at me as I was back to her. She was still so I shortened the distance between us and snuggled in closer. From here I enjoyed her presence before once again pressing my luck. I began on her neck, so sweet so open, covered with precious, little goosebumps. Then I gradually found myself at her cheek: never pressing down with any real force but pretty obviously using my lips to scavenge around. Then... then... i broke the rules!

I had reached her lips, almost accidentally. But they were so decadent, so soft, and we met for what was a brief peck... and my heart buzzed. This was, more than the others, an incredibly obvious step 'over the line.' I pulled off right after it happened, still grasping her, but I was watching to see a reaction.

There wasn't one. And to be quite honest it was at the moment I should have called it and just hopped in for a cold shower, but I didn't. Instead I found my scumbag brain ask 'Maybe she didn't feel it? Well in that case I suppose the only logical thing would be to try more obviously so she can feel it and we can get a reaction.'

I went in again and planted another soft kiss on her lips, and ever so slightly I think I felt hers meet mine. That was all I needed! And I took the tiniest crack in the doorway I could find to kick the whole damn thing down. Now I dove in head first and kissed her passionately, seriously, like I had been doing it for months with her.

I repositioned myself and got right on top of her for better access. I worked my way around her neck and her cheek and bite her lip so I hear it snap back. Then I nibbled and swirled my tongue around her ear. I was very, very much gone at this point from any concept of reservation.

I think it was right around when I got overly cavalier and asked if she could stick out her tongue a bit more that her own reservations began to show. She suddenly began to talk while I worked on her neck if maybe this wasn't the best idea. But I insisted right back to her that I thought it was a fantastic idea.

"Maybe *this* isn't such a great idea... maybe we should just go back to cuddling."

For some reason I got REALLY intent her. I tried to rationalize my point-- "can we just like do this and that's it?! Like please just add the kissing part and then we'll leave it at that okay? It doesn't need to go any further. Like please! I really, REALLY need this right now!"

She thought for a minute, i could tell she liked to be a people-pleaser, then she said "Okay."

And it was like I got the keys to the chocolate factory! I immediately went back in to kissing her... HARD. And she felt it and matched my tempo and my speed. I asked for a little bit more tongue and little wider mouth and she quietly obliged.

I tried to pace myself but also knew I only had an hour. So I tried to put on the television and be courteous to what she liked.

"What shows do you usually watch?"

"Mhm.... I like a lot of stuff."

"Anything specific?"

"Umm ooh Rich & Morty is really fun!"

"You like.. Rick & Morty?" (Holy fuck I need to marry this girl!)

"Yea!"

I threw up an episode on Hulu and went back to being a giant human sweater or a bear rug over her. Kisses her up and down, pretending not to try (but secretly trying) to leave a hickey (as to "mark my territory").

About half-way into the show the mood in the room definitely got a lot more casual romantic. That platonic pact was long gone, even the facade was gone, and I could sense her becoming uneasy again.

It was right when I came in for another suckling on her neck that she made her displeasure known. "Okay. I'm sorry but listen I changed my mind. I want this to go back to how it started. I'm sorry."

"What...? But I thought you were enjoying it."

"Listen it's just that this whole thing is suppose to be platonic and we are seeing each other within the confides of the platonic-rules-of-engagement of the site."

"Okay.. but.. are you enjoying yourself?"

"That's irrelevant. I'm not a prostitute, and okay yea sure I bet some "cuddlers" are also prostitutes.... OR are okay with doing extra.... AND I'M TOTALLY *NOT* SAYING ANYTHING AGAINST THOSE PEOPLE. Like that's fine if that's what you wanna do.. that's just not me." There was a long pause here. "Does that make sense?" She was very analytical minded and spoke in a sort of high speed, neurotic way that was incredibly charming for me.

"Soooo then..?"

"Back to normal?"

"Okay." I was sad, admittedly. The show was over and I went out of the app on my TV and powered it down. Then we snuggled up together again. I wasn't quite sure how much of my hour was left and I didn't feel like checking (hoping that perhaps she'd forgotten as well).

My goal now was to do EVERYTHING in my power to have her miss out make out session that she'd finally toss out her preconceptions once and for all and let us go back to it. I did my best: I was so soft and gentle with her caressing her soft skin up and down, gripping her hips, and "accidentally" grazing my lips against her when I could.

I hoped that I was sensing something from her, particularly when I'd move my face very slowly past hers and fain for a minute that I'd plant another kiss on her then instead I just kept on moving. I wanted to believe that she wanted this deep down somewhere, but she was as quiet as a church mouse so I spoke up...

"*Huff* It feels so natural now in this position to kiss you," I laugh a little to try and cut the tension.

"Mhm hmm."

"You are a really good kisser by the way.."

"You know you can kiss my cheek if you really want to.. I don't think that's crossing a line."

I looked at her a little befuddled. "Like this?" I lowered my head and peck at her cheek once.

She stirred. "Mhm, yes."

"Okay." So I'd do on to peck and kiss one side for a time then when I felt growing old I'd switch to her other cheek. Then I picked up the intensity a little and was more passionate with her again, carefully working my way towards the corners of her mouth. Until eventually I was about half on and half off. And once again she didn't reprimand me. So I'd go a little further, until we were once again fully locking lips. We kissed for a few times and then she interjected.

"Uhhh... I've really gotta learn how to say 'no.'" But it was in vain, there was no stopping this now and I felt in control for the rest of the evening and I think she knew it/liked it.

I got on top of her now. Prepared for things to escalate even further. Sometimes things just feel right (even if you are doing things in exactly the same manner), and this just felt right. With the feeling of her between my legs and the warmth coming off her thighs I was in heaven.

i made my way down her neck once more and grazed along her collar bone. She would moan slightly which was incredibly to her since she'd been so silent the whole night. I found she wasn't wearing a bra and so as I explored down further my lips naturally stumbled upon her right nipple. It was erect and I sucked on it, nibbling ever so slightly. Then I took my right hand to expose her left breast and played with her other nipple in between my fingers.

They weren't huge, but they weren't tiny either. As I mentioned she was a more compact, mousey girl and her tits were perfect for that-- a good enough handful.

As she swooned I ventured my left hand down towards the edging of her yoga pants, exposing the flesh there and her perfect navel. I then ventured further down, above the clothes, and ran my fingers down the outline of her pussy: my fingers shaped like a bull's head. I made little circular motions and was incredibly glib at the sound of a fresh wave of moans and gasps.

Yet, unfortunately, this was all going way, way too fast and modern-day sensibilities had to put a stop to it. So she reached down with her last bit of strength to hold my left hand and pull it aside, the she opened her eyes and looked down to me.

"Listen.. I don't wanna do anything below the waist tonight."

"Okay.. that's fine."

"Is it?"

"Haha, yeah. Well if we're not going to go any further can you at least stay the night?"

"Mhm, I don't know."

"Come on! It's already well past the hour. You don't want to start driving past midnight and everything."

"But my car?"

"It's fine! They don't ticket here!"

"Okay, well, I have to be up super early tomorrow!"

"Haha, so do I. I work too ya know! I'll set my alarms for 6:45."

Seeing that all her lame excuses were exhausted she finally submitted. "Mhm, okay, I guess."

The night was incredible, even though it never did get overly sexual. This had already gone past my wildest hopes in many respects. We spent a lot of the rest of the time we were awake together alternating between making out and talking about life.

Ironically, she was incredibly inquisitive about me but would hardly give up any details about herself-- and BELIEVE ME I tried.

It was a restless night, in a good way. I probably woke her three or four times though just cause I needed another taste of that sweet heroin!

The morning was cordial, not overly awkward. We exchanged numbers and she let me know she'd need some time to think things over before we could proceed in any which way. Then she finally reminded me about the exchange of funds and I was slapped right back down to reality.

I felt dirty; I wonder if she did as well; she definitely didn't ask enthusiastically but more like out of necessity. Then she left-- I offered to walk her down, but she respectfully declined and so I returned to bedroom and slowly got ready for work.

**********************************

I tried texting the number that she gave me a few times in the weeks after our encounter. It was tough to keep a conversation going though as the number she gave me was a dummy from a burner app on her phone. Still I did my best to be entertaining.

Eventually I'd convince her to see me again but this time we were going to make things a bit more formal. Okay... a LOT more formal. We set a time and place at this Japanese restaurant in the city and it was pretty clear this was gonna be like a date date now. Just start scratch kind of thing too, pretend almost like the other time never happened and we just matched on a dating app or something: this would be our first meet up.

I got there, early. I picked a table by the window so I could see everyone coming up and down the busy downtown streets.

She was late, but for whatever reason I had a good feeling I wouldn't get stood up.

Then I finally saw her round the corner. She came in and spotted me almost immediately. We hugged, she took her mask off, and then we sat down.

I remember forgetting how talkative she was. She really could be like a little chipmunk going on and on, but to be honest mostly all I could think about was getting through dinner as quickly as possible so we could head back to my place, or hers, and pick up where we left off last time!

Sadly, things quickly turned sour. It was slightly awkward. And then 'slightly' turned into moderately awkward. We just filled every awkward silence with constant talking-- at least that was her way of handling things.

Pretty soon we had our fill on dinner and began to understand it was time to dissolve our little get together.

I walked her out then asked about a night cap:

"Would you like to come back to my place?"

"I'm sorry! I wish I could.. but, like I was saying inside, I still have to figure out this stupid tax situation, so I'm sorry."

"Yeah, no worries. Would you maybe rather I come back to your place then.. so you could still work on this tax thing & we could still hang out."

"Mhm, you see *yawn* I'm actually pretty tired already, plus my roommate and I sort of have this thing about bringing guests over."

I was beginning to get the message. "I see. Well, can I at least walk you home?"

"No! I mean... I don't think that's the best idea I live way up town and you parked right over here. But I appreciate the dinner; this was nice!"

"Okay-- yeah, it was nice!" I gave her another hug and we went our separate ways. I feel so pissed and just stirred as you could imagine, but I was also adamant to find away to ensure this wasn't the final chapter.

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Once again i found myself relegated to that very lonely place of 'infrequent texting pals.' I couldn't really blame her though: I myself knew there wasn't any chemistry there and so anything left to pursue would be purely carnal. Although I can't see what necessarily has to be so bad about that to girls. I mean it's usually pretty fun for both parties-- and she already knew I was very giving partner based on our last time together. So what was the issue?

After a while work picked up again and I decided to drop all the beating around the bush shit and just come out with it already. I sent her a text about the upcoming weekend and she made her usual lame excuses, so I sweetened the deal a little bit by telling her I was quickly of going back to the way things were: a paying arrangement, that is. I couldn't read her well over text so I asked if we could get in a quick call and, after some hesitation, she agreed.

"Hey... can you hear me?" Her little frail, mousey voice came through the speaker.

"Hey. Yeah, I can!"

"Cool."

"How have you been?"

"Alright. I just got back from California."

"Oh, awesome. Yeah I remember you telling me that. That's fun."

"It was really a great time."

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.. so, what's going on exactly?"

"Mhm, it's nothing; I just-- I want to be really straight-forward with you because i'm not one to lead people on. And also you're a really nice guy!"