All Comments on 'Cupid's Big Screw-Up'

Wow, that took a really heartwarming turn. Well done.

this was good until you got too much into the overwhelming # of wives/kids. you shoulf have just run this over a couple of chapters without the large #s. too bad, it was such a good start.

... though I figure a god will have the the power to wax :-)

hey man, i'm here for a wank, not to feel real feelings.

seriously, good story.

I like this kind of scenario with a morally conflicted protagonist with a conscience.

The only complaint is... it's ending too abruptly. Sounds like you had the germ of a great series and felt compelled to end it before it started?

Very enjoyable.

I know it's a good story when after a few paragraphs I look at the drop down box to see how many pages left and hope for a larger number. I wish this story were longer but mind control stories are insanely hard to write as maintaining the tension in a feasible manner is next to impossible when your main character can do bloody anything.

Anyway, thanks for the story, keep writing awesome (breeding) stories!

What a huge fantasy! And imagination! Not really my type of story fav but entertaining.

Man, I went into this just happy it appealed to my fetishes. And god, does it. If you had me rolling with that twist in the bank and enraptured with that Cassandra scene. Beautiful fucking work and please do not stop

A1 man. Top shelf stuff.

That was a hell of a good story. Great twists. Please keep writing, you are very talented.

Good story -- but he can instantly change anything about a woman's body, but they still have to get waxed?

Whoops! Didn't think about the waxing thing. Uh... see... Parker... can control bodies but not hair? Yeah, no, that's just a goofy inconsistency I wasn't think of. Thanks for pointing it out.

And thanks for the constructive comments! Much love as always to all my readers here. Working on cranking out chapter 5 of Fantasy Man, so look for that soon.

Man I have read a few of these. They always start out interesting but then get boring because it is the same thing over and over again. But not this. loved the fact that the story finished up in a single chapter. Perfect length really.

And I love the way Parker is always sarcastic. that is the way a hero like that should be. You can't be goody two shoes and do the stuff that happens in a story like this.

Loved the attention to detail. Stories normally explain away everything by he had the power. Loved the way that parker asks if the woman has money to buy the stuff he wants her to buy. No, not everyone in a story like this has a few thousand dollars just lying around.

All in all great work. Hope to read much much more of your work

I love the redemption you gave that unlikeable POS.

Great story. It could definitely be made a bit longer and better pacing. I wonder if there is a way to hint at the start that there is something deeper here worth reading beyond the skipped-over fantasy.

This was a good story. Well written. My only "complaint" was that the scene between Parker and Cassandra felt anticlimactic. You seem to make the point that true love is rare and special. Yet, you have Parker essentially commanding Cassandra and her husband to perpetuate their relationship. To me that would indicate that their love wasn't "true." True love wouldn't need such a boost would it? In my humble opinion, and granted this is mostly a thematic point, Parker is not irredeemable at all. The fact that he wanted to make up for his poor treatment of Cassandra shows a depth of character that belies much of the conclusion. Relationships are far more complicated than are demonstrated in your story and this simplification takes what would have been a 5 star story down a peg and leaves me feeling unsatisfied. Being married for forty years to my high school sweetheart I can say unequivocally that even a deep loving relationship has conflict, loss and hurt. Frankly sometimes love isn't enough and humans are incredibly fallible. I believe that a better plot point would have resulted in a reconciliation between Cassandra and Parker, an event that would have shown him triumphing over his base nature and cultivating an element of forgiveness and an overall story arc of triumph over adversity. Even if Parker and Cassandra didn't ultimately end up together it seems that there was much more to their relationship and I felt the need for more closure. You could elaborate on this relationship by writing from Cassandra's viewpoint, starting with their brief confrontation. You could even bring his "harem" into the story giving you an opportunity to give your readers a look from Cassandra's perspective into Parker's polygamous life choice. Will she go back to her "boring" suburban marriage? Will she join Parker's harem? Will she and Parker develop a more traditional relationship? If that occurs will Cassandra embrace Parker's harem or will she give Parker a choice: her or the harem? This would certainly stretch the writer's creativity and flex those literary muscles. I normally don't make such lengthy comments but I did enjoy your story and thoroughly appreciated your writing style. Just some thoughts.

If I gained mind control powers and then some banker tried to "Handle" me like that, bad things would happen. He would give me money, but he wouldn't remember doing it. He would forget everything he knew about mind control and their protocols for handling it. And if I let him get to the end of the speech he gave here, he would probably jump out a window after I left. The world is truly fucked up, and someone with this much power might actually have a chance to fix it, and they want me to just sit there and respect the status quo? I'd be half tempted to start puppeteering Politicians out of spite, even if I didn't have strongly held political beliefs. I mean, sure, giant harem i bread regularly and parties loaded with hot girls all the way, but I'd be doing something important, making positive change... when I wasn't busy fucking.

Went in expecting a run of the mill mind control erotica. What I got was that, but with an interesting plot with compelling twists on the mind control genre. Great work!

That was one of the best reads I have ever seen! Truly exceptional! Great work!!

Anonymous obviously failed to understand the events in the bank manager's office.

The bank manager, and others, have been made immune to mind control, and they are organised to prevent those new to such powers taking over as loose cannons. Parker is clearly not ready to handle such powers, or he'd have thought through possibilities such as this before entering the bank.

He seems to be fair;y bright, but not personally either very ethical or ambitious.

A good moralistic lesson, wrapped up in an erotic work. Good Job

Just finished this story. Well written. Then I read the comments, and inrepectfully disagree. There was no "redemption" of this character. Real people aren't good or bad but a nebulous mix of both that changes from moment to moment. Is he selfish? Absolutely. The stated self loathing he experiences probably won't let him be any other way. He has a beautiful moment of clarity when confronting his ex and her true love - and yes it is true love. The previous commentor that doubted this was mistaken. Her relationship probably didn't need the boost, but if you had the clarity of sight to see something so pure and beautiful even for a moment, and the power to make sure that beauty had a better chance of lasting, wouldn't you use it? Just to be sure it did? Anyways. Really well done, especially how he takes his selfishness and uses it to try to heal damaged women. Yes he makes them belong to him, but then he does his level best to make them happy and fulfilled. It's a decent trade, and kind of a realistic take on mind control in modern society. You either refuse to use your powers except in the direst of circumstances, or you make moral trade offs like the one presented.

Holy cow, KayWye, thank you. That was exactly what I was going for. That comment is really appreciated.

A good story at the Beginning until it comes to Casandra. Then to apprupt ends instead of condensing the plot further, as if the writer no longer had the desire and time to invest time there. And then the story just got superficially boring.

Great twist at the end!

Love the David Tennant reference [I wasn't that Doctor Who actor who controlled minds in that show (Jessica Jones) with the fucking ridiculously hot blonde and the woman who looked like she ate a sour lemon every minute] and the Get Smart reference ['Cone of Silence'].

11/10!!!!!

This is a great story, with some hot scenes, and some sad scenes, and some all-to-real people. It has a content ending, but not necessarily a happy one. For all of the magic, this is one of the most grounded stories I've read here. Well done.

Well, that was something. I don't often read mind control stories, because most of them end up being about horrid little perverts who have the impulse control of 7 year olds. The seem only written to give a brief framework to non-con porn.

I read your story, for some reason, and it was well written. The protagonist has a past, was imperfect, self reflective, and had a bit of character growth. (A very little bit. He extended his harem so far that he no longer could have regular time with each child, nor each wife. I see hundreds of therapy bills in the future.) Again, I do not like mind control stories. I don't like it on your story. I don't know why I read it. I am still giving it 5 stars, because it is so well written, and it is, I am sure, a favorite story for many.

Liked it, but for the ending. I wish you would have found a way to untie him with Cassandra. Made the whole story a kind of downer.

I came here looking for porn...so why am I crying?

mind control is so turning me off

This was surprising… starts really silly, but ends as a deep, wise lesson of life… and sad, too. So yes, it is worth it.

Last page... HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME FEEL FEELINGS!

Wonderfully well written piece of work. Very much enjoyed it.