All Comments on 'Curveball'

I have read ALOT of literotica stories over the years I have been on this site and I have to say this is top 5 all time best stories I have read PLEASE CONTINUE WITH THIS OR ANOTHER STORY

What a great story! I gave it 5 stars because I couldn't give it more. This is really your first story? I liked the characters and the flow of the story. I liked that this was a story that had sex in it and not sex looking for a story. Good build up also. I don't know if you are looking to continue this story line or start a new one. I am looking forward to either. I have read many stories also on this site over the years and this is one of my favorites. Thanks for your time and imagination.

Such a good story. I couldn’t stop reading. Way to go! I can’t wait to see more from you. Continuing this story would be a start.

Well written. I enjoy this story and hope to see more from you.

This was a very well articulated story. I do hope there will be more to follow, either continued or with starting something different altogether. I enjoyed reading your work, and hope that this is only the first of many.

This is a great story, couldnt find a better way to true love.

I do not comment often but this was a very fun story to read.

I too have read many stories over the years, by far this one tops them all. Thank you. Keep on path with the great work.

You managed to "hook" me with the first few paragraphs which means you have great story telling ability. Your characters were real and interesting.

However, you should use contractions when you write dialog because that's the way people really talk, otherwise it sounds like their speech is computer generated. Also you switched from 1st person POV to 3rd person POV without warning. That was distracting. You may want to look for an editor to help you with these things.

In summary you've got talent and great potential as an author. I am looking forward to reading more of your stories.

This has surpassed my utmost expectations. I have a new all-time favorite story now, and this is it. If you don't keep writing, someone needs to beat you severely. I mean it. You have a real talent. This story was so good, it brought tears to my eyes well before I finished reading it. Please keep up the great work, and I for one would love to hear more of these two people's further adventures.

One of the most fun and well laid out stories. My only problem was that there were parts I had a problem reading, because of the tears in my eyes, I had to wipe an reread. Great story, more please.

Why did the tense change from first person to third person on page two and stay that way till the end????

Thank you for a very beautiful story. It really touched and I will be looking at your other tales.

Again thank you, I have been feeling down for a bit, but you just brought me out of it.

Thank you

Considering your profile, reader not writer, and considering this is your first story, I'm blown away at how good it is.

Please continue to write more.

You kept me reading from 2am until I finished! Very well written. I hope you do as well with your other stories. Thank you 🙂

Great story and even more amazingly since it is your first one posted.

I truly enjoyed the story, I normally don’t comment but you kept the story line well and did a great job of developing the relationship. Nice piece of work you can actually read and enjoy. Five stars , looking for your next one....

Enjoyed every bit of it. Hope to see another chapter. Thanks

As a hopeless romantic I can only say “Bravo”. Tremendous story that tugged on my heart strings. Look forward to reading more of your work!

I think this is the first story on lit. that has had no snide comments or any negative comments . GREAT story well told KUDUS and keep up the great story telling.

Loved it. Hurry up and write some more good stuff!

One seriously good seriously erotic and exotic story. That was one heck of a curveball, it's interesting what private investigators find. Hope there's more to this story.

I really enjoyed it and gave you five stars. Do note that "compliment" is spelled with an "i" ... and the very end felt a bit abrupt. I almost wanted a "three months later" section break. Still, good job. Please keep writing.

Not sorry at all this story has nothing to do with baseball. Gotta tell ya, I love damsels in distress stories, especially Hot Sisters stories! So, you got a good one with me. Five Stars!

Beautiful story, the only thing I would have done in the new world order of things, is allow Irene to be part of the final solution, not only teaching, to be a woman or to work, but to be part of the polyamory family. I believe that Mime and Jill love her as much as she professed her love for him and that she was growing to love Jill as well.

Names changing like Maria and Maggie for dna testing

Swapping from first person to third randomly is also a bit jarring. If the story plans to move away from mike, you should stick to third person the whole time.

Overall good just editing.

Enjoyable storyline.

Think about the characters and how they behave and talk. Her speech was unexpectedly good for someone with limited education and a junky's house upbringing.

This is probably one of my favorite stories on here. I loved everything about it. I really hope you add onto it.

Well done

I liked it a lot, keep going you good at this.

The story itself was amazing, the sex part was good

Great story.

One of the best stories i have read on here. Please keep writing new stories.

That was a really wonderful story. I’ve never commented on one before, but that was a real “make me feel good about the word” kind of happiness generating read.

I'll watch for your stories!

Easy to read and follow along. Great build up and endig. I'll be watching out for more stories from you.

Great story and build up and fantastic “curveball” a the end

5/5

For some reason this story really clicked with me. I absolutely loved it!!!

Love in it's purest form! keep writing.

perfect top notch , could see it getting made into a screen play the brits would love it

........does Mike start his treatment for Chlamydia because it sure wasn't 14 days, you might want to fix that somehow.

Great story but even though their birth certificates don't match its still illegal in the states DNA is all that matters legally so even though it allows them to get married on a technicality if found out they would still be in major trouble and from my understanding of how the story is explained she is his full sister so his father should also be on the birth certificate

Outstanding in story development! With great interaction the characters become more real and therefore make the magical moments of sexual experiences really stand out!

Keep up the really good work!

What an amazing, heartfelt story! I enjoyed this story immensely! Well worth the read.

Fantastic story end to end. Can’t believe the nit picking comments from some of the commenters! I guess one needs something of a thick hide to be a published writer. IMHO this was one of the best stories I have read on this site.

Thank you for the excellent fantasy!

Cheers

SAGE

Really enjoyed this..... what is a LBD ?

I can already see early on page 1 that bro is dumber than a box of rocks, so I'll pass...

the sex scenes could have been in much more detail. They seem to just get started and then it's over. 4+*

A LBD is a Little Black Dress

I did NOT like the bald pussy. I prefer a woman to look like a woman, not a 5 year old.

Really good story, enjoyed the blossoming of Jill.

A few points that stuck out:

1) Mike and Jill did not respect the 14 day period for antibiotic therapy for the clap. Right when that became important you did mention injection birth control, so good there.

2) "No employees and sex" is right out the window, some mention of relationship first, or married, making it okay should be mentioned, since this was such a huge deal for Mike and Irene.

3) Little more detail on sex, perhaps. Your line "They began trying every position they could think of, and she was open for anything he asked," is almost begging to be replaced by a paragraph or three.

Don't take a detailed critique as if this was not really good though, I really enjoyed this story!

Fantastic 10 Stars!!

A great story! To be picky, there are a few little errors, the worst being that several times you used “complement “ when “compliment”is the correct word - look them up, please.

I don't know what to say a curveball indeed. But the time span seemed a bit short to me for her attitude change and her training etcetera, it just all felt a bit rushed to be credible. 4 stars from me but an enjoyable tale.

I absolutely loved it! 5/5

And as for Irene? You go girl! Irene is my favorite character in this story. She's totally loyal and that's way too cool! 😎

One more thing,

An anonymous user commented: I did NOT like the bald pussy. I prefer a woman to look like a woman, not a 5 year old.

I'm going to agree totally with this sentiment. He or she said it better than I ever could have myself.

Amazing story. Only plot hole /question that came up for me was when they hooked up after one week... Into her two week round of STI meds.

Aside from that, very well written!

Still gets 5 stars.

I LIKED IT...CINCO ESTRELLAS!

Both huge turn off for this story. It was perfect to that point, too bad so sad, but a nice star for you author.

Love the story, it was great. AAAAAA+++++

Excellent story.

Good ending and a Happy one

Loved it--the ending just ended too soon!

One of the best stories that I’ve read on here.

Great love story with a wonderful happily ever after. A second chapter would be the frosting on the cake. 5/5

Probably a good story, but the abrupt switch from first person to third person lost me.

Okay, so I originally read this six months ago. I just reread it and I still enjoyed it. But there's just a couple of negative comments that I thought I had addressed, but I somehow overlooked them.

First, just like a couple of other people mentioned, the change from first person narrative to third person was very amateurish. Borderline sophomore style.

The other thing that troubled me deeply is that the doctor diagnosed Jill with chlamydia and then you wrote them into having sex shortly thereafter. Personally, I've never been infected by anyone with an STD. But I'm fairly certain that she should NOT have been having sex until the full round of antibiotics had been completed.

I already stated my position on girls who shave totally bare. But in spite of all of these negatives I'm leaving my vote at 5/5.

very good story. just a little fast on the sex, she did have an STD and a little quick on the marriage

Second time around, just brilliant. Still your best. Keep writing.

Still 5/5

I really enjoyed your stories. Thanks for sharing your gift with us.

JILL IS TRAILER PARK TRASH AND BEHAVES LIKE ONE!! THE SECRETARIES IN MIKE'S SECURITY COMPANY SEEM LIKE WHORES!! WHAT HAPPENED TO HER STD, JUST DISAPPEARED

Such a sweet romantic sibling love story! Great work!

Outstanding piece of work!

It was a pleasant tale of girlish romance. But I, as a man, was interested in reading it. There was almost no description of sex, so it didn't excite me. But there was a good plot without sagging that was interesting to follow, which is pretty rare. And since I think plot > sex in any story, I give it a 5 out of 5.

Great story. I like the longer stories that have an actual plot and aren’t all wham Bam sex. Great story good lead in an great ending 5/5

This is truly erotica... hinting more at the sexual pleasures rather than being blatant voyeuristic porn. A well-written "fairy-tale" story with a nice little twist at the end.

Did the writer forget about the chlamydia and the 14-day treatment because they fucked within a week!!

Otherwise 5*

That was a nice one. Great build-up and it felt genuine. She was a bit broken after life shit on her hard and he was the perfect remedy to fix her. A nice ending as well. Usually I prefer an epilogue showing a bit more of the new life developing, but in this case, it was just fine. Someone mentioned about the lack of descriptive sex, which while a valid point, honestly didn't really affect anything for me. I'm more into the dialogue and development of the characters, their backstory and their relationship, though it certainly doesn't hurt to spice things up a little bit at least. For future reference :) It's certainly one of my favourite stories so far.

If I could put 10* I would. Well written and entertaining with the right amount of suspense and hints of what comes next.

Mike better get his own antibiotics prescription...

Very well written…